New to site - need emotional support

cklewis
cklewis Member Posts: 3
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I'm new to this site and am looking for support emotionally. I was diagnosed this past April with cancer in my right breast. Had a mastectomy in May, didn't need chemo but am now on Tamoxifen. The only side effect I have is moodiness. I'm beginning to feel so irritable that I'm becoming depressed. I'm typically a very happy person but ever since this diagnosis I haven't been myself. I should be thankful because my cancer was in early stages and my prognosis was great. I want that zest for life that everyone says they get after they go through cancer. I'm not feeling that way at all and feel very ungrateful. I would love to get a handle on this and find a good counselor to talk to but wouldn't feel comfortable with just anyone. Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm in the Southern New Hampshire area and could really use someone to talk to.

I appreciate your suggestions.

Chris
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Comments

  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    A Stranger is a Just Friend You Haven't Met Yet.....
    I think you will find that your feelings are not so unusual at all! I have often said ( and my long-time board members have their eyes closed so as not to have to read this yet again!!) that cancer is indeed the proverbial emotional roller-coaster. But not just any old coaster, oh no! Not only do we not have seatbelts, but there is oil on the tracks and it's starting to rain! So here's what we do~ we hang on FOR DEAR LIFE to the person next to us, knowing that everyone on this coaster is experiencing just what we are! We are so afraid we might die, and we wonder not just how we ever got on this coaster, but if we will make it off. We scream as we go around the turns and hope that the person next to us is stronger than we are, as we just don't think we can do this alone. Finally, the coaster comes to a halt and we run as far away from that ride as we can, as fast as we can! We are battered and bruised, and never want to get on that ride again...but we realize to things: 1) We are ALIVE, and 2) We have made life-long friends with strangers who just happened to be on the ride with us.

    I live in California, so I don't know of any counselors in your area; perhaps the local ACS can advise you? Or the Cancer Center where you went for treatment? I know the one I went to had a board with myriad support groups. And of course, there is us!

    You will also see, from reading these boards, that many of us have sought counseling, and take anti-depressants as needed. There is such a thing as situational depression, and we certainly have a "situation"! Avail yourself of a visit to your Dr!

    Please post often; you will find yourself surrounded by an incredible group of warrior-surivors who are more than willing to lend an ear and dispense cyber-hugs. We understand Pity Parties, and crankiness, and anger, and tiredness, and exhilation! And everything in between~ we absolutely get it!

    So, welcome to the place you never wanted to find! You are in good company!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • cklewis
    cklewis Member Posts: 3
    chenheart said:

    A Stranger is a Just Friend You Haven't Met Yet.....
    I think you will find that your feelings are not so unusual at all! I have often said ( and my long-time board members have their eyes closed so as not to have to read this yet again!!) that cancer is indeed the proverbial emotional roller-coaster. But not just any old coaster, oh no! Not only do we not have seatbelts, but there is oil on the tracks and it's starting to rain! So here's what we do~ we hang on FOR DEAR LIFE to the person next to us, knowing that everyone on this coaster is experiencing just what we are! We are so afraid we might die, and we wonder not just how we ever got on this coaster, but if we will make it off. We scream as we go around the turns and hope that the person next to us is stronger than we are, as we just don't think we can do this alone. Finally, the coaster comes to a halt and we run as far away from that ride as we can, as fast as we can! We are battered and bruised, and never want to get on that ride again...but we realize to things: 1) We are ALIVE, and 2) We have made life-long friends with strangers who just happened to be on the ride with us.

    I live in California, so I don't know of any counselors in your area; perhaps the local ACS can advise you? Or the Cancer Center where you went for treatment? I know the one I went to had a board with myriad support groups. And of course, there is us!

    You will also see, from reading these boards, that many of us have sought counseling, and take anti-depressants as needed. There is such a thing as situational depression, and we certainly have a "situation"! Avail yourself of a visit to your Dr!

    Please post often; you will find yourself surrounded by an incredible group of warrior-surivors who are more than willing to lend an ear and dispense cyber-hugs. We understand Pity Parties, and crankiness, and anger, and tiredness, and exhilation! And everything in between~ we absolutely get it!

    So, welcome to the place you never wanted to find! You are in good company!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Very inspirational
    Thank you Claudia for your inspiring response. I have been feeling very alone emotionally and thought maybe I was going crazy. You have reassured that I'm not losing my mind rather going through the emotions that so many others have experienced. This has certainly given me hope that I have finally found some supporters that will understand how I feel.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel welcomed. I look forward to MANY more wonderful conversations with you guys.

    HUGS!
    Chris
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    cklewis said:

    Very inspirational
    Thank you Claudia for your inspiring response. I have been feeling very alone emotionally and thought maybe I was going crazy. You have reassured that I'm not losing my mind rather going through the emotions that so many others have experienced. This has certainly given me hope that I have finally found some supporters that will understand how I feel.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making me feel welcomed. I look forward to MANY more wonderful conversations with you guys.

    HUGS!
    Chris

    Welcome, Chris
    We're all here to support and encourage each other.

    Whenever I get to a thread and find that Claudia has already responded, there's rarely much left to add to her eloquent words of wisdom and of experience. To further reassure you, I'll simply reiterate that - no, you most certainly are not losing your mind. Cancer is difficult - in so very many ways and aspects - beyond the imaginations of those who've not had first hand experience. Which is exactly why we gather here, amongst fellow survivors.

    Visit often, whenever you need or would like to... Part of the real beauty of this board, it's open 24/7. Never closed on holidays, nor for any other reason.

    Best wishes to you.
  • lanie940
    lanie940 Member Posts: 490 Member
    I'm taking an antidepressant
    I'm taking an antidepressant myself. Have been for years. I also had breast cancer and had a lumpectomy, I'm waiting on results of the oncotype dx test, I hope I don't need chemo. My Medical oncologist didn't seem to think I would since my tumor was small and caught early, but I still have waves of depression. I go to other message boards (Ivillage) political boards and some folks there make me want to rip out their layrnex, LOL I have to just not read what they say, because they get me so riled. This year has been rough for me all the way around. It is normal to feel moodiness when you have had a cancer diagnosis. I'm still going through the stages off and on, of being angry about the diagnosis.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950

    Welcome, Chris
    We're all here to support and encourage each other.

    Whenever I get to a thread and find that Claudia has already responded, there's rarely much left to add to her eloquent words of wisdom and of experience. To further reassure you, I'll simply reiterate that - no, you most certainly are not losing your mind. Cancer is difficult - in so very many ways and aspects - beyond the imaginations of those who've not had first hand experience. Which is exactly why we gather here, amongst fellow survivors.

    Visit often, whenever you need or would like to... Part of the real beauty of this board, it's open 24/7. Never closed on holidays, nor for any other reason.

    Best wishes to you.

    Hey Chris
    Just to

    Hey Chris
    Just to reemphasize Claudia's words...A lot of our discussions are about depression and antidepressants.....It is a very normal part of the emotional journey we are on.I am just about at the point of discussing antidepresants for myself....Just finding it harder and harder to get up and go and do what needs to be done. Do what you need to do to feel better.
    Good Luck!
    Dee
  • mlmjt1
    mlmjt1 Member Posts: 537
    HI chris
    I dont mind telling you that when I was diagnosed I was an emotional wreck for almost 2 months. I went on an antidepressant and an antianxiety med plus something to help me sleep. I was diagnosed the end of april, had surgery in May and started chemo in July and its Sept and I finally found that I only cry about once every 2 wks and its usually around the chemo time.

    I see a counselor as well and it has helped...dont be afraid to ask for antidepressants and something to help you sleep if thats an issue.

    Post often...we are always here for you

    Linda T
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    chenheart said:

    A Stranger is a Just Friend You Haven't Met Yet.....
    I think you will find that your feelings are not so unusual at all! I have often said ( and my long-time board members have their eyes closed so as not to have to read this yet again!!) that cancer is indeed the proverbial emotional roller-coaster. But not just any old coaster, oh no! Not only do we not have seatbelts, but there is oil on the tracks and it's starting to rain! So here's what we do~ we hang on FOR DEAR LIFE to the person next to us, knowing that everyone on this coaster is experiencing just what we are! We are so afraid we might die, and we wonder not just how we ever got on this coaster, but if we will make it off. We scream as we go around the turns and hope that the person next to us is stronger than we are, as we just don't think we can do this alone. Finally, the coaster comes to a halt and we run as far away from that ride as we can, as fast as we can! We are battered and bruised, and never want to get on that ride again...but we realize to things: 1) We are ALIVE, and 2) We have made life-long friends with strangers who just happened to be on the ride with us.

    I live in California, so I don't know of any counselors in your area; perhaps the local ACS can advise you? Or the Cancer Center where you went for treatment? I know the one I went to had a board with myriad support groups. And of course, there is us!

    You will also see, from reading these boards, that many of us have sought counseling, and take anti-depressants as needed. There is such a thing as situational depression, and we certainly have a "situation"! Avail yourself of a visit to your Dr!

    Please post often; you will find yourself surrounded by an incredible group of warrior-surivors who are more than willing to lend an ear and dispense cyber-hugs. We understand Pity Parties, and crankiness, and anger, and tiredness, and exhilation! And everything in between~ we absolutely get it!

    So, welcome to the place you never wanted to find! You are in good company!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    a friendI haven't yet met!
    I can't add much to what our 50 ft. sis said except welcome and you are in such a loving, safe place now with so many kindred sisters in pink to help you.
    Love, Jackie
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    dyaneb123 said:

    Hey Chris
    Just to

    Hey Chris
    Just to reemphasize Claudia's words...A lot of our discussions are about depression and antidepressants.....It is a very normal part of the emotional journey we are on.I am just about at the point of discussing antidepresants for myself....Just finding it harder and harder to get up and go and do what needs to be done. Do what you need to do to feel better.
    Good Luck!
    Dee

    Hi Chris and Welcome! Talk
    Hi Chris and Welcome! Talk to your doctor if you feel you might need an antidepressant. There is nothing wrong with getting some help. Having cancer is hard!

    Lex♥
  • Dawne.Hope
    Dawne.Hope Member Posts: 823
    chenheart said:

    A Stranger is a Just Friend You Haven't Met Yet.....
    I think you will find that your feelings are not so unusual at all! I have often said ( and my long-time board members have their eyes closed so as not to have to read this yet again!!) that cancer is indeed the proverbial emotional roller-coaster. But not just any old coaster, oh no! Not only do we not have seatbelts, but there is oil on the tracks and it's starting to rain! So here's what we do~ we hang on FOR DEAR LIFE to the person next to us, knowing that everyone on this coaster is experiencing just what we are! We are so afraid we might die, and we wonder not just how we ever got on this coaster, but if we will make it off. We scream as we go around the turns and hope that the person next to us is stronger than we are, as we just don't think we can do this alone. Finally, the coaster comes to a halt and we run as far away from that ride as we can, as fast as we can! We are battered and bruised, and never want to get on that ride again...but we realize to things: 1) We are ALIVE, and 2) We have made life-long friends with strangers who just happened to be on the ride with us.

    I live in California, so I don't know of any counselors in your area; perhaps the local ACS can advise you? Or the Cancer Center where you went for treatment? I know the one I went to had a board with myriad support groups. And of course, there is us!

    You will also see, from reading these boards, that many of us have sought counseling, and take anti-depressants as needed. There is such a thing as situational depression, and we certainly have a "situation"! Avail yourself of a visit to your Dr!

    Please post often; you will find yourself surrounded by an incredible group of warrior-surivors who are more than willing to lend an ear and dispense cyber-hugs. We understand Pity Parties, and crankiness, and anger, and tiredness, and exhilation! And everything in between~ we absolutely get it!

    So, welcome to the place you never wanted to find! You are in good company!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Just wanted to say thank you
    Just wanted to say thank you Claudia ... great image of the roller coaster and just once again thank you. Yes this is the place I never wanted to find but I am so glad to be in good company. You ladies rock!

    Love you and I've never even met you.
    So glad to know you are here.

    Chris, I cannot add anything to what has been said. Knowing you're not alone does help, though.

    Overwhelmed with gratitude,
    d.h.
  • lovelylola
    lovelylola Member Posts: 279
    I started on antidepressants
    I started on antidepressants last October after my mother died from pancreatic cancer and my dad was diagnosed with bladder cancer. Been a tough year but manageable with support from friends and family. My mood was finally stable in the middle of July when I went to the doctor for refills on my prescriptions due to a change in my RX plan. So I told him, I think I can go off the antidepressant and we worked out a plan to taper off. Murphy's law kicks in. 1 week after taking my last pill, I discover the lump. I told the doctor I certainly didn't have good timing. I'm not ready to start them yet, we'll see what surgery tells us but I know that if I need them, I'll start them again. While I'm new to this group of amazing women, I believe this support can definitely help with my sanity. Good luck and keeping "talking" with us. Lola
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Adding my welcome, Chris
    And Claudia, I don't care how many times you tell the rollercoaster story, I am gripping my seat. I just LOVE that story! Pammy
  • cklewis
    cklewis Member Posts: 3
    lanie940 said:

    I'm taking an antidepressant
    I'm taking an antidepressant myself. Have been for years. I also had breast cancer and had a lumpectomy, I'm waiting on results of the oncotype dx test, I hope I don't need chemo. My Medical oncologist didn't seem to think I would since my tumor was small and caught early, but I still have waves of depression. I go to other message boards (Ivillage) political boards and some folks there make me want to rip out their layrnex, LOL I have to just not read what they say, because they get me so riled. This year has been rough for me all the way around. It is normal to feel moodiness when you have had a cancer diagnosis. I'm still going through the stages off and on, of being angry about the diagnosis.

    I had the oncotype dx test
    Thanks for the response. My oncologist also thought that I would not need chemo because of my early findings. The Onco test was the last test I took and I was accepting of the fact that I may need chemo. My surgeon gave me great advice. She said "go forward thinking you are going to have chemo and if you don't you will be that much more relieved." I did just that and thankfully my test results and prognosis were good and chemo was not necessary. Therefore, I suggest the same thing. Hopefully it works for you.

    I think it's mainly the Tamoxifen that is throwing my mood off. I just can't seem to get a grip on these emotions. I will take all of the advice I've gotten so far. Thank you all responsing and making me feel comfortable. It's great to have someone understand how I feel.
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    cklewis said:

    I had the oncotype dx test
    Thanks for the response. My oncologist also thought that I would not need chemo because of my early findings. The Onco test was the last test I took and I was accepting of the fact that I may need chemo. My surgeon gave me great advice. She said "go forward thinking you are going to have chemo and if you don't you will be that much more relieved." I did just that and thankfully my test results and prognosis were good and chemo was not necessary. Therefore, I suggest the same thing. Hopefully it works for you.

    I think it's mainly the Tamoxifen that is throwing my mood off. I just can't seem to get a grip on these emotions. I will take all of the advice I've gotten so far. Thank you all responsing and making me feel comfortable. It's great to have someone understand how I feel.

    So happy for you for not
    So happy for you for not having to have chemo! I hope you adjust to the Tamoxifen quickly.
    I will be taking it after radiation, myself. All my best to you!
  • peggypeggy
    peggypeggy Member Posts: 111
    im so sorry
    i just got diagnosed in july had surgery 27th of july now 7 days in rads i will be taking tamaxifin soon no chemo needed everything happened so fast im on this roller coaster but i refuse to let this rule my life one day it will happen and your zest will just be there it will happen god bless im hoping you can help me with the tamaxifin when i start if i can help anyway let me know peggy
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Chris
    you are normal.And you're not expected to have that "zest for life".
    It's okay to have a pity party-just as long as you don't stay there too long.
    That moodiness could be from the tamoxifen,I don't know.
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    Chris, Our sisters here have
    Chris, Our sisters here have just about covered the ins and outs of this roller coaster ride. So, I'll just add that if you live near Boston there's a place called the Virginia Thurston Healing Garden that is for breast cancer survivors. You can check them out at www.healinggarden.net. Their number is 978-456-3532. You are not alone! xoxoxoxo Lynn
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    lynn1950 said:

    Chris, Our sisters here have
    Chris, Our sisters here have just about covered the ins and outs of this roller coaster ride. So, I'll just add that if you live near Boston there's a place called the Virginia Thurston Healing Garden that is for breast cancer survivors. You can check them out at www.healinggarden.net. Their number is 978-456-3532. You are not alone! xoxoxoxo Lynn

    Hi Chris and welcome. It
    Hi Chris and welcome. It seems the others have given you some very good advice. All I can add is to just allow yourself times to vent, to cry and to feel down. It happens to all of us. Post and keep us updated on you!

    Lex♥
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    Alexis F said:

    Hi Chris and welcome. It
    Hi Chris and welcome. It seems the others have given you some very good advice. All I can add is to just allow yourself times to vent, to cry and to feel down. It happens to all of us. Post and keep us updated on you!

    Lex♥

    Welcome to the greatest
    Welcome to the greatest board around, Chris, and here's hoping you will come here often and as needed. This group of posters has been such an inspiration to me during my treatment, and post treatment, and all continue to be good friends. You will find answers to most any questions you may have, any mood you may be concerned about, hair loss coping, hormone theraphy treatment, etc. Those of us who have already passed through the tunnel of chemo and rads can be your guide, and those who have been there more than once can help us to understand that life if fragile, but surely worth living. Seek help with your moodiness, and don't feel like you can't ask your dr for anything that assists you in getting through this journey. You will be in my thoughts, and hopefully you will be back up to your new normal soon. Hugs,

    Judy
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    Akiss4me said:

    Adding my welcome, Chris
    And Claudia, I don't care how many times you tell the rollercoaster story, I am gripping my seat. I just LOVE that story! Pammy

    Just want to add my welcome
    Just want to add my welcome too Chris. You are with a bunch of amazing bc survivors now. We will help you!

    Kylez ♥
  • peggypeggy
    peggypeggy Member Posts: 111
    welcome
    im ss you will get handle on this here is a number hon iam new to this to got diagnosed in june had sugery july now rad this is called thebreast care of strength 18002212141 or 18009869505 god bless luv peggy