Geez Louise!!!

padee6339
padee6339 Member Posts: 763
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I contacted my nieces who are now living down south near their other aunt. I had not heard from them in some time, now had seen them in over 2/3 years and was a little vexed. I emailed them and called them out on it, basically saying that knowing I had been sick, a card or call or an email of support would have been nice. Obviously I hit a nerve, the 21 year old went crying to the other aunt about my nasty gram and the witch sent me an email. I've cut it down to the best parts, see below:

"You have always been a whiner, nasty, bigoted, and selfish. You do not have a corner on suffering."

(Her husband could take no more of her and divorced. You have to know this woman, she is very very rich and talks like her nose is stuffed, very affectatious(is that a word?) She looks down on everyone, even her own family. I did feel bad when her husband left because she took it so hard, but getting slammed made me realize he should be thankful he's out.) She graduated Suma **** Loude from William & Mary, but never did anything with her education. She got married and had 2 daughters, who left as soon as they were old enough.) I have gone out of my way to be civil to her and never uttered a nasty thing about her to her husband, or when the in-laws talked about her. I kept my mouth shut.

"They don't need that kind of toxic discharge in their lives. Find other support."

- "They" referrs to a 21 year old and a 28 year old. Old enough to make their own choices.
- I am assuming "support" means don't contact them about my horrible "disease".

Ladies, I have seen this woman maybe 6 times in the past 15 years? Yet, her words stung, because I'm afraid if that's the way she sees me as an outsider, is that the way I am to others? I'm not looking for pats on the back and "oh she's wrong" from anyone, I am just curious if I come across to people like that? And if so, how do I change it?

As far as finding other support - I have all you lovely ladies (and gentleman)who have surrounded me with love and hope.

Thanks for being my sounding board.

Pat
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Comments

  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    Errr
    NO you don't and
    YES she is!

    What an uncaring old biddy she is. Ignore her, you are obviously of much better stock than her.. Just remember, people with their noses in the air often trip over a loose curbstone, fall in the gutter and wake up to find a dog peeing in their earhole! LOL

    Pat. You are right, you have us. And WE all like you! Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    tasha_111 said:

    Errr
    NO you don't and
    YES she is!

    What an uncaring old biddy she is. Ignore her, you are obviously of much better stock than her.. Just remember, people with their noses in the air often trip over a loose curbstone, fall in the gutter and wake up to find a dog peeing in their earhole! LOL

    Pat. You are right, you have us. And WE all like you! Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx

    Thanks Tasha -
    I remember in high school a friend of mine was walking home and some young guys in a car beeped and whistled at her. She turned her head away from them to ignore them when one of the boys told her that "your nose is so high it could stab an airplane". She almost tripped she was laughing so hard. We still laugh over it.

    This witch one heads up a LeLeche League in her town. Maybe she feels that breast cancer would kill her business?????? Find other support - my AS*&^! I found it with youse guys.
    Pat
  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    WOW
    All I can say is what a *itch she is! Nothing like some compassion, huh? People never cease to amaze me. Like someone else said, there are great people on this site and we can get all the support and caring we need right here!! Take care!
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    oh my god, how awful
    She sounds like quite a pill. First of all, why would she be inserting herself into something that is between you and two other adults? It would be one thing if your nieces were minors, but otherwise, stay out of it! Second, some people find solace in excluding others and making them feel unwelcome. It makes that person feel like an insider. Don't buy it for a minute. Don't let her have control of your emotions or how you feel about yourself. If I am reading it right, she basically said that your need to be supported by family members during a very difficult time is toxic. She also suggested that asking for support was wrong. Does that sound right to you? Forget her. She's toxic and doesn't deserve any further consideration.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    mimivac said:

    oh my god, how awful
    She sounds like quite a pill. First of all, why would she be inserting herself into something that is between you and two other adults? It would be one thing if your nieces were minors, but otherwise, stay out of it! Second, some people find solace in excluding others and making them feel unwelcome. It makes that person feel like an insider. Don't buy it for a minute. Don't let her have control of your emotions or how you feel about yourself. If I am reading it right, she basically said that your need to be supported by family members during a very difficult time is toxic. She also suggested that asking for support was wrong. Does that sound right to you? Forget her. She's toxic and doesn't deserve any further consideration.

    Sorry
    I am so sorry Pat. You are better off without those "kind" of people/relatives!

    L e x ♥
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Oh boy....
    You are fine Pat and don't let her attitude get to you. Pammy
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    Akiss4me said:

    Oh boy....
    You are fine Pat and don't let her attitude get to you. Pammy

    Yeah, people like that don't
    Yeah, people like that don't like to be called out on their selfishness...good for you for
    not letting the nieces slide....maybe it will sink in and they will learn something from this, and not turn out like the old witch aunt.
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    Akiss4me said:

    Oh boy....
    You are fine Pat and don't let her attitude get to you. Pammy

    Pat
    Im sorry you have to get that kind of treatment from your own family. That is sad that they are that way, but if they are mean like that, then you dont need or want them in your life. Im wondering how to approach my brothers, one who is my twin, because they have yet to call me and see how ive been feeling and how im doing with my chemo. At least i have the board and my mom to turn to.

    take care
    laura
  • xskeetshooter
    xskeetshooter Member Posts: 169
    wow
    what a unkind soul that person has.sounds like she was talking about herself and not you.she might have alot of money,,but money dont buy your way into heaven. i am so glad that she isnt around you. take care hun
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Errr
    NO you don't and
    YES she is!

    What an uncaring old biddy she is. Ignore her, you are obviously of much better stock than her.. Just remember, people with their noses in the air often trip over a loose curbstone, fall in the gutter and wake up to find a dog peeing in their earhole! LOL

    Pat. You are right, you have us. And WE all like you! Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx

    Tasha,
    So well said, and I

    Tasha,
    So well said, and I love the visual you put in my head. Good comeuppance. LOL
    Pat, I would not let this get to me if I were you. The nieces are obviously immature and needed their other auntie to defend them. She is doing them no favor and they will treat her the same way should she ever really need them.
    We like you so don't worry.
    Stef
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    mimivac said:

    oh my god, how awful
    She sounds like quite a pill. First of all, why would she be inserting herself into something that is between you and two other adults? It would be one thing if your nieces were minors, but otherwise, stay out of it! Second, some people find solace in excluding others and making them feel unwelcome. It makes that person feel like an insider. Don't buy it for a minute. Don't let her have control of your emotions or how you feel about yourself. If I am reading it right, she basically said that your need to be supported by family members during a very difficult time is toxic. She also suggested that asking for support was wrong. Does that sound right to you? Forget her. She's toxic and doesn't deserve any further consideration.

    Mimi is right, she is toxic.
    Mimi is right, she is toxic. She should be wrapped in that yellow plastic warning tape. Toxic, Danger, Avoid at all costs. Yeah!!
    Stef
  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member

    wow
    what a unkind soul that person has.sounds like she was talking about herself and not you.she might have alot of money,,but money dont buy your way into heaven. i am so glad that she isnt around you. take care hun

    How rude and unkind that
    How rude and unkind that woman is Pat. Don't worry about it. People like that aren't worth the strain it takes to even think of them.

    Hugs!
  • elm3544
    elm3544 Member Posts: 748
    forget her
    You have a family right here and we all care!
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
    Hi Pat,
    She is one piece of

    Hi Pat,

    She is one piece of work that you don't need. How dare her! I know that the words and betrayal hurt you. I believe in Karma, what comes around goes around. If you ever decide to speak to her again I would Kill her with kindness. You are worth more than she will ever be worth.

    Love and gentle hugs,
    Donna
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    elm3544 said:

    forget her
    You have a family right here and we all care!

    Geesh
    Geesh, what a miserable !@#$%^* Well, she is. Don't let her get to you Pat! We are all here to support you whenever you need it!

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    lolad said:

    Pat
    Im sorry you have to get that kind of treatment from your own family. That is sad that they are that way, but if they are mean like that, then you dont need or want them in your life. Im wondering how to approach my brothers, one who is my twin, because they have yet to call me and see how ive been feeling and how im doing with my chemo. At least i have the board and my mom to turn to.

    take care
    laura

    Me too Laura
    I have a sister (younger) that has yet to pick up the phone and call me. She is given info by my older sister. Not because she asked about me, because my older sister is upset that she HASN'T asked about me, so my older sister makes sure my younger sister knows I still exist!! Yet another older sister, I never really knew my whole adult life, sent the sweetest card you just knew she took time to pick out (this shocked me!). My younger brother and his family, not a word (and when we were younger, we use to be close) yet my Mom marks the days on her calander counting off my radiation treatments. None of my family live near me. But I have learned one thing....It will not upset me if you don't bother with me and it warms my heart when you do and I least expected it. They all have their lives to live and so do I. We spent most of our lives living in different states. I found that when I have no expectations, I can not be let down. Yes, they are family, and yes it would be nice if all the love and kindness and caring was there.....in a perfect world!! I try to always remember that this is not a perfect world! Pammy
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    djteach said:

    Hi Pat,
    She is one piece of

    Hi Pat,

    She is one piece of work that you don't need. How dare her! I know that the words and betrayal hurt you. I believe in Karma, what comes around goes around. If you ever decide to speak to her again I would Kill her with kindness. You are worth more than she will ever be worth.

    Love and gentle hugs,
    Donna

    THANKS EVERYONE
    It really does amaze me how mean people can be. Here we are dealing with life and death situations, and a lot of us have people in our lives that don't care one way or the other. I live in a trailer (insert jokes here - lol)and the property manager sends out nasty notes to people to weed, power wash their decks, homes, etc. I can understand that we need to keep our homesites as neat as possible, but this season, I have not been able to get out and weedwack, or garden. The kids that usually do that for me had their own issues this summer and didn't do such a good job for me. Well when I got home yesterday, 2 of my neighbors were out there with all the tools needed and were working their butts off in this heat. I helped them as much as I could, and since one of them knew about my little battle with the witch, we had fun laughing about it. She said she was only doing this for me because I was a whiney, nasty, bigoted, toxic beotch. It was a couple of hours of hard work, fun and lots of laughs. I repaid them by ordering pizza and we had a little party on my deck. She is continuing to work on it while I'm here at work, so I'm stopping and getting her a little present on the way home because she won't let me pay for all her hard work. There are some wonderful people in this world, and she is one of them. She is my ride to and from the hospital all the time and will be my ride for my colonoscopy. She's had a pretty rough life and has a lot of husband issues. Her name is Jacki so please keep her in your prayers. The other one????? I don't particularly care what becomes of her.

    Thank you all for your love and support, I don't know what I would do without you all here.
    Love and hugs -
    Pat
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    People are what they are.
    People are what they are. You need to surround yourself with positive people at this time. It reduces the stress. Some people won't contact you but maybe they just can't deal with it. Don't hold it against them. I always like to give the benefit of the doubt. Some people don't realize or just doesn't think about it. Life tends to go by quickly. Don't need regrets. Keep the communication lines open and maybe some day they will use them. Meanwhile use the support that is available to you. Hey,you got us!
  • m_azingrace
    m_azingrace Member Posts: 399
    padee6339 said:

    THANKS EVERYONE
    It really does amaze me how mean people can be. Here we are dealing with life and death situations, and a lot of us have people in our lives that don't care one way or the other. I live in a trailer (insert jokes here - lol)and the property manager sends out nasty notes to people to weed, power wash their decks, homes, etc. I can understand that we need to keep our homesites as neat as possible, but this season, I have not been able to get out and weedwack, or garden. The kids that usually do that for me had their own issues this summer and didn't do such a good job for me. Well when I got home yesterday, 2 of my neighbors were out there with all the tools needed and were working their butts off in this heat. I helped them as much as I could, and since one of them knew about my little battle with the witch, we had fun laughing about it. She said she was only doing this for me because I was a whiney, nasty, bigoted, toxic beotch. It was a couple of hours of hard work, fun and lots of laughs. I repaid them by ordering pizza and we had a little party on my deck. She is continuing to work on it while I'm here at work, so I'm stopping and getting her a little present on the way home because she won't let me pay for all her hard work. There are some wonderful people in this world, and she is one of them. She is my ride to and from the hospital all the time and will be my ride for my colonoscopy. She's had a pretty rough life and has a lot of husband issues. Her name is Jacki so please keep her in your prayers. The other one????? I don't particularly care what becomes of her.

    Thank you all for your love and support, I don't know what I would do without you all here.
    Love and hugs -
    Pat

    I cried...
    when I read about your family's attitude towards your illness. I don't understand families like this. I am so blessed. Everyone had rallied to the cause with phone calls and good wishes and offers to help. Yesterday I received a handwritten note from my daughter's mother in law, expressing get well wishes for me, and telling me how she appreciates being part of our family. [she has a huge family of her own that has welcomed all of us into it!]. So I cried over that. Then I cried again when I read about your neighbor pitching in and doing the yard work for you! Lately, I cry about everything it seems. Pat, this site is a wonderful family of people who seem to always be ready with encouragement and comfort. We are here for each other, it seems like 24/7. I will keep Jackie in my prayers, thanking God that she is there for you. And I will pray for the others, that they will realize the great hurt they cause to others. God Bless you. Gracie.
  • Cat64
    Cat64 Member Posts: 1,192
    padee6339 said:

    THANKS EVERYONE
    It really does amaze me how mean people can be. Here we are dealing with life and death situations, and a lot of us have people in our lives that don't care one way or the other. I live in a trailer (insert jokes here - lol)and the property manager sends out nasty notes to people to weed, power wash their decks, homes, etc. I can understand that we need to keep our homesites as neat as possible, but this season, I have not been able to get out and weedwack, or garden. The kids that usually do that for me had their own issues this summer and didn't do such a good job for me. Well when I got home yesterday, 2 of my neighbors were out there with all the tools needed and were working their butts off in this heat. I helped them as much as I could, and since one of them knew about my little battle with the witch, we had fun laughing about it. She said she was only doing this for me because I was a whiney, nasty, bigoted, toxic beotch. It was a couple of hours of hard work, fun and lots of laughs. I repaid them by ordering pizza and we had a little party on my deck. She is continuing to work on it while I'm here at work, so I'm stopping and getting her a little present on the way home because she won't let me pay for all her hard work. There are some wonderful people in this world, and she is one of them. She is my ride to and from the hospital all the time and will be my ride for my colonoscopy. She's had a pretty rough life and has a lot of husband issues. Her name is Jacki so please keep her in your prayers. The other one????? I don't particularly care what becomes of her.

    Thank you all for your love and support, I don't know what I would do without you all here.
    Love and hugs -
    Pat

    Always Welcome!
    I am so sorry you had to endure such hurt from that nasty old woman! Everyone here has said just about everything I would of said so I'm almost lost for words! But, this does come to mind-who needs her when you have all of us??!! :-)
    Don't take things personally I remind myself when someone lashes out at me. It's about them, not me. I completely understand where you're coming from. I have had & probably always will have family dilemmas. Between my hubby's family and my own I think someone had to of put the DYS in function! Keep the faith, try to think happy thoughts, and keep your concern on YOU!
    Prayers & Hugz
    Cathy