Some silly tee shirt captions

fauxma
fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to Blame You
If you don't talk to your cat about catnip, who will?
I don't mind going to work but that 8 hour wait to go home is a b***h.
I have kleptomania but when it get bad, I take something for it
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other
I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.
I love cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food

And here is a joke
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the 280 interstate. Please be careful." "It's not just one car, said Herman, "It's hundreds of them"

Stef
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Comments

  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    Thats great Steff
    Thanks for the giggle. I may even put food in with my wine tonight! LOL
    jackie
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    rjjj said:

    Thats great Steff
    Thanks for the giggle. I may even put food in with my wine tonight! LOL
    jackie

    Joke
    Love it.
    Good laugh before going to bed.

    Margo
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    The joke was on ME!
    Okay so its hot here and I am tired, but that is no excuse! I had to reread your jokes three times before I realized the upper portion were one liners for t-shirts. I was thinking Geez I Stef must be hot too cause I don't understand what she is saying in the first paragraph!!!! Dang, I am the lame one today. Now that I have read them correctly I am laughing, thanks for the giggles!

    Hugs,

    RE
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    RE said:

    The joke was on ME!
    Okay so its hot here and I am tired, but that is no excuse! I had to reread your jokes three times before I realized the upper portion were one liners for t-shirts. I was thinking Geez I Stef must be hot too cause I don't understand what she is saying in the first paragraph!!!! Dang, I am the lame one today. Now that I have read them correctly I am laughing, thanks for the giggles!

    Hugs,

    RE

    Oh No!
    I saw a guy in town shopping today, he was like , well a bit wonky walking, obviously fairly severely pysically disabled...He staggered towards me falling over his feet in Food Basics, and he had this T-Shirt on : "Drunk Chicks think I'm HOT!" I smiled at him..What a sense of humour!.......

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    RE said:

    The joke was on ME!
    Okay so its hot here and I am tired, but that is no excuse! I had to reread your jokes three times before I realized the upper portion were one liners for t-shirts. I was thinking Geez I Stef must be hot too cause I don't understand what she is saying in the first paragraph!!!! Dang, I am the lame one today. Now that I have read them correctly I am laughing, thanks for the giggles!

    Hugs,

    RE

    We have been having a hot
    We have been having a hot time, haven't we. It was 95 here today and I can image you were several degree hotter, Re. Of course, I don't notice it because I haven't gone out except in the evening for 4 days. Too Darn Hot for me.
    I have done the same thing reading posts and not getting it until I have read them more than once. But don't tell anyone, okay.
    Stef
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Loved the cat one....
    Too funny. I have to tell everyone this story!! Our cat who is going to be 9 yrs old, would come home sometimes really nutty (she has her own kitty door). We just found out recently that she was wondering down the street to a neighbor's that had been growing catnip in his garden for HIS cat. He told us that our cat discovered it several years ago, but loved it so much that she ate all the leafs off and it eventially died. Now she visits several times a week and he gives her catnip on his porch from a pouch. This would explain why she would come home being a terror. Here's the twister, she was diagnosed as a bi-polar cat. So we did not put two and two together. Now it has become the biggest joke in our house when she comes home in that condition that we know she has been visiting her "drug dealer" so to speak!! I am going to have a T-shirt made up with that phrase about the catnip! Thanks! :) Pammy
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    Akiss4me said:

    Loved the cat one....
    Too funny. I have to tell everyone this story!! Our cat who is going to be 9 yrs old, would come home sometimes really nutty (she has her own kitty door). We just found out recently that she was wondering down the street to a neighbor's that had been growing catnip in his garden for HIS cat. He told us that our cat discovered it several years ago, but loved it so much that she ate all the leafs off and it eventially died. Now she visits several times a week and he gives her catnip on his porch from a pouch. This would explain why she would come home being a terror. Here's the twister, she was diagnosed as a bi-polar cat. So we did not put two and two together. Now it has become the biggest joke in our house when she comes home in that condition that we know she has been visiting her "drug dealer" so to speak!! I am going to have a T-shirt made up with that phrase about the catnip! Thanks! :) Pammy

    Pammy,
    That is too funny.

    Pammy,
    That is too funny. With our three cats, only one likes catnip. I think I read somewhere it has to do with their carrying a gene or something that causes them to be attracted to it. Obviously, your cat carries whatever it is to the max. Yes, I think you need the tee shirt.
    Stef
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    T shirts
    If you don't know ( and LOVE!!) the movie "The Princess Bride", you will not understand the T-shirt I got this week. It is black , and on the upper right hand corner has what looks like one of those red and white Hello, my name is stickers we often get at conventions/meetings to introduce ourselves. This imprinted sticker says, "Hello....My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Again, those of you who know what I'm talking about probably even read that in a Spanish accent! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    chenheart said:

    T shirts
    If you don't know ( and LOVE!!) the movie "The Princess Bride", you will not understand the T-shirt I got this week. It is black , and on the upper right hand corner has what looks like one of those red and white Hello, my name is stickers we often get at conventions/meetings to introduce ourselves. This imprinted sticker says, "Hello....My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Again, those of you who know what I'm talking about probably even read that in a Spanish accent! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    Inconceivable
    This is so funny that I am reading this. I am watching the Princess Bride as I type. And Mandy Patinkin just said that line. I love this movie. Great tee shirt.
    Stef
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    fauxma said:

    Inconceivable
    This is so funny that I am reading this. I am watching the Princess Bride as I type. And Mandy Patinkin just said that line. I love this movie. Great tee shirt.
    Stef

    How funny is that, Stef????
    How funny is that, Stef???? I am really laughing now! When Criminal Minds starred Mandy P, my young niece didn't recognize him until I told her it was Inigo Montoya! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • aurora2009
    aurora2009 Member Posts: 544 Member
    chenheart said:

    T shirts
    If you don't know ( and LOVE!!) the movie "The Princess Bride", you will not understand the T-shirt I got this week. It is black , and on the upper right hand corner has what looks like one of those red and white Hello, my name is stickers we often get at conventions/meetings to introduce ourselves. This imprinted sticker says, "Hello....My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Again, those of you who know what I'm talking about probably even read that in a Spanish accent! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    That's funny
    I loved that movie. In fact I just watched it last night with my son !!!!!!!!!!
    That is simply "inconceivable"
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
    chenheart said:

    How funny is that, Stef????
    How funny is that, Stef???? I am really laughing now! When Criminal Minds starred Mandy P, my young niece didn't recognize him until I told her it was Inigo Montoya! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    "Ma -widge"
    Everyone in our family, my husband excepted, knows lines from Princess Bride on demand. On Facebook there is an Inigo Montoya fan club. So you see, Claudia, Facebook is good.
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    lynn1950 said:

    "Ma -widge"
    Everyone in our family, my husband excepted, knows lines from Princess Bride on demand. On Facebook there is an Inigo Montoya fan club. So you see, Claudia, Facebook is good.

    Ta-woo Wuv
    Oh No! I have yet another reason to reactivate my FB account?! LOL Ma-widge, indeed!

    Hugs,
    Westly, I mean, Claudia
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    chenheart said:

    T shirts
    If you don't know ( and LOVE!!) the movie "The Princess Bride", you will not understand the T-shirt I got this week. It is black , and on the upper right hand corner has what looks like one of those red and white Hello, my name is stickers we often get at conventions/meetings to introduce ourselves. This imprinted sticker says, "Hello....My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" Again, those of you who know what I'm talking about probably even read that in a Spanish accent! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    foreign language?
    Sounds like some weird foreign language to me. I have never seen Princess Bride, but I love Mandy Patinkin, am I missing something good?

    =^..^=
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    chenheart said:

    How funny is that, Stef????
    How funny is that, Stef???? I am really laughing now! When Criminal Minds starred Mandy P, my young niece didn't recognize him until I told her it was Inigo Montoya! LOL

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    We saw him much older too
    We saw him much older too and couldn't place who he was until we googled him.
    I want a shirt that says, "As you wish! Not!" I have to be difficult. I'm still not going to FB but I'll wait for you guys to update me on important stuff.
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    cats_toy said:

    foreign language?
    Sounds like some weird foreign language to me. I have never seen Princess Bride, but I love Mandy Patinkin, am I missing something good?

    =^..^=

    You should rent it. It is
    You should rent it. It is such a great movie. Good cast, good humor, just a fun flick.
    Stef
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    cats_toy said:

    foreign language?
    Sounds like some weird foreign language to me. I have never seen Princess Bride, but I love Mandy Patinkin, am I missing something good?

    =^..^=

    ?
    What are they talking about???????????
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    ?
    What are they talking about???????????

    Dear J...
    You are not alone. I am also clueless. And, hope to stay that way (i.e., no explanations, please!).

    Kind regards, Susan
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    cats_toy said:

    foreign language?
    Sounds like some weird foreign language to me. I have never seen Princess Bride, but I love Mandy Patinkin, am I missing something good?

    =^..^=

    The movie "The Princess
    The movie "The Princess Bride" is from 1987, it is Rob Reiner's first movie ( I think!) and it stars not just Mandy Patinkin, but it is Robin Wright's first movie too. Also starring Andre the Giant, Peter Falk, Billy Crystal and Carol Kane among others. It is funny and well done, and actually quite a "cult classic" as it were. Mandy's character is avenging his father's death, thus the "you killed my father, prepare to die" line, and the Priest who is officiating the Princess Bride's wedding has a speech impediment and talks of the importance of Twu-Wuv and Maa-widge.

    The premise is a grandfather ( Peter Falk) reading a book (The Princess Bride) to his adolescent grandson ( Fred Savage), and the book comes to life as it is being read to him.

    It's a goodie!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    cats_toy said:

    foreign language?
    Sounds like some weird foreign language to me. I have never seen Princess Bride, but I love Mandy Patinkin, am I missing something good?

    =^..^=

    The movie "The Princess
    The movie "The Princess Bride" is from 1987, it is Rob Reiner's first movie ( I think!) and it stars not just Mandy Patinkin, but it is Robin Wright's first movie too. Also starring Andre the Giant, Peter Falk, Billy Crystal and Carol Kane among others. It is funny and well done, and actually quite a "cult classic" as it were. Mandy's character is avenging his father's death, thus the "you killed my father, prepare to die" line, and the Priest who is officiating the Princess Bride's wedding has a speech impediment and talks of the importance of Twu-Wuv and Maa-widge.

    The premise is a grandfather ( Peter Falk) reading a book (The Princess Bride) to his adolescent grandson ( Fred Savage), and the book comes to life as it is being read to him.

    It's a goodie!

    Hugs,
    Claudia