Hair loss question
I'm new to this board, and very happy to have found such a friendly, positive group here! I'm just about recovered from bilateral lumpectomies and sentinel node biopsies four weeks ago, and will be starting chemo soon, and wanted to ask about your experiences with losing your hair.
I've used this as an opportunity to go out and buy come cute hats and scarves (any excuse to go shopping!). But I'm hoping that I'll feel comfortable not wearing anything on my head, unless I'm in the sun. It gets mighty hot in the summer here in the San Fernando Valley, so no hair sounds kind of nice!
But does it get to be too hard to deal with other people's reactions out in public? Do/did any of you get gawking, rude comments, etc.? I'm just curious what your experiences have been.
Traci
Comments
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Hi- I actually had my head
Hi- I actually had my head shaved as soon as my hair started to fall out, it felt so much better. I did buy a wig, but did not wear it for too long. At home I wore nothing. When I was out I wore a baseball cap and at work I wore bandanna's. I had a million of them for each outfit. I found it comforting when people would come up to me and tell me that they were survivors and how many years. I was dx in 2002 and have to say that I never had a rude comment even though it was quite obviously that I was bald and going through chemo, if anything people were very sensitive and caring. I am sorry that you have to go through this and hope that you have a pleasant experience with the public like I did. Karen0 -
Welcome, Traci
We're all here to support and encourage each. So, again, welcome.
Dealing with chemo-induced hair loss is a very personal choice - each patient needs to select whatever method provides the most comfort, on many levels. I, too, bought* cute hats and scarves (and got many as presents). Since I live in the Midwest and was hairless during autumn and winter (i.e., very cold weather) - I needed the headcoverings for warmth. By the time the weather warmed enough in spring - I had about a 1/2" of hair (not much) on my head. So, tucked a few of the hats and scarves - my favorites - away, and donated all the rest.
I would never, ever stare at a bald woman! I'd smile at her! It's not about what the "public" thinks, it's all about how you feel.
One of our veteran members, cats_toy/Cat, spent her hairless days sans headcovering. Like you, she's from a year-round warm climate. She'll probably post here, too.
Visit often, whenever you'd like or need to.
(* Within this group - shopping is considered Retail Therapy!)0 -
Hi TraciInLA
Welcome to the family! You are about to start the strangest ride of your life, but in many ways, we all seem to have come out stronger for it.
I did my chemo run from April 2007 to September 2007, when I finally had hubby shave my head, I went to work with a scarf, took it off and told them all if they didn't like the way I looked they could look the other way, but I was not going to keep my head covered. Everyone was very supportive and said I looked cute bald (nope, beautiful...), and the only time I ever covered my head again was if I had the A/C blowing on it, seems your head gets sensitive to gold breezes when it has no hair. I went to the stores, drove around town, etc. My nurse just told me to be careful of burning, because that skin has not seen true sunlight ever.
I would get people looking at me, but I would say about 99% of the reactions were positive, and if they were negative, I didn't let it bother me. Let us know how it goes!
Cat0 -
Traci-first WelcomeChristmas Girl said:Welcome, Traci
We're all here to support and encourage each. So, again, welcome.
Dealing with chemo-induced hair loss is a very personal choice - each patient needs to select whatever method provides the most comfort, on many levels. I, too, bought* cute hats and scarves (and got many as presents). Since I live in the Midwest and was hairless during autumn and winter (i.e., very cold weather) - I needed the headcoverings for warmth. By the time the weather warmed enough in spring - I had about a 1/2" of hair (not much) on my head. So, tucked a few of the hats and scarves - my favorites - away, and donated all the rest.
I would never, ever stare at a bald woman! I'd smile at her! It's not about what the "public" thinks, it's all about how you feel.
One of our veteran members, cats_toy/Cat, spent her hairless days sans headcovering. Like you, she's from a year-round warm climate. She'll probably post here, too.
Visit often, whenever you'd like or need to.
(* Within this group - shopping is considered Retail Therapy!)
Glad you found this site-we try to be positive, in spite of this thing called, "Life."
Chemo: Well, like the others have said this is a personal experience that is very unique to each individual. But, for the record, I will let you know what I did and how I handled the act of going to chemo (I won't elaborate on the side effects, since most people don't react like me). First, the hair. As an ol' '70s hippie, I still wore my hair long and straight-down to my waist. I knew my hair would eventually fall out, because when I asked (and the only question I asked the day I was told I had bc), "Will my hair fall out?" The surgeon took put her hands on either side of my face and tenderly said, "Yes" and I cried.
I cut my hair short, just before chemo and gave it to "Locks of Love" for little ones with cancer, because I figured someone should use it since I wouldn't have it soon. When my hair began to fall out, it was almost like I was a dog in the heat of the summer shedding its winter coat, I asked a friend to shave. Funny thing is, I didn't cry when I had it shaved, but I cried my heart out in the salon restroom when I cut it into a short bob. Like I said, I'm an ol' hippie.
As for chemo, a friend took me to treatments (4 Citoxin/Adrionmisan and 4 Taxol). I packed a picnic lunch and we shared it, that is until I fell sound asleep; we actually had a good time. I was given Benedryl prior to chemo and several other drugs before and after to countrol the nausea. Popsicles were great during chemo, since they deadened the metal taste (well, a little) and helped to keep me hydrated. Besides, it was fun eating what I wanted, when I wanted because no one really cared-as long as I ate. Basically, I made the best I could out of a lousy situation.
Well, that's chemo in a nutshell, so to speak. Wish you well on this phase of your treatment and your path to good health.
dmc0 -
My storyladybug22 said:At home I wore nothing. When
At home I wore nothing. When I was at work i wore my wig.when my children would have frinds come over they would tell them my mom has no hair. i had no promble good luckand hugs
I only wear a hat in the sun. When I am out shopping or anywhere inside I go with nothing. When I golf I put sunscreen 50 on my head because if I do get hot I can take my hat off for a short while to cool off without getting burned.
I do have hair sprouting now it is about 3/4-1 inch long and very soft. My 6 year old loves to rub it--I find myself rubbing my head at work--maybe we are stimulating the hair growth.
I have never gotten weird stares and hope I have never given stares at others before I was diagnosed. I now know what it is like and will always give support to others who are donning a bald head.
Hats off to you.
Good luck in your treatment.
Hugs, Margo
P.S Welcome to this wonderful site where you can ask anything.0 -
Traci-I forgot to mention...tommaseena said:My story
I only wear a hat in the sun. When I am out shopping or anywhere inside I go with nothing. When I golf I put sunscreen 50 on my head because if I do get hot I can take my hat off for a short while to cool off without getting burned.
I do have hair sprouting now it is about 3/4-1 inch long and very soft. My 6 year old loves to rub it--I find myself rubbing my head at work--maybe we are stimulating the hair growth.
I have never gotten weird stares and hope I have never given stares at others before I was diagnosed. I now know what it is like and will always give support to others who are donning a bald head.
Hats off to you.
Good luck in your treatment.
Hugs, Margo
P.S Welcome to this wonderful site where you can ask anything.
scarves. Before I cut shaved my head, I went in to order wigs (mainly because I wanted them to match my current hair color). I bought two wigs and insurance covered on of them. Afterwards, I got three others (one free from ACS when I went to their "Look Good, Feel Better" program, one that was short, lightweight and very inexpensive, and a monk wig-I'll explain later). Though I had all of these wigs, I eventually switched to scarves, hats, and little beanie caps (that I got from an ACS catalog) because it simply too hot to wear a wig all the time and,sometimes, I just didn't feel like it.
The "monk" wig, as I called it, was designed to wear under hats to "fool the public" that I had hair under my hat that was obviously not a tyical hat--I doubt if fooled anyone. But, I did have fun with it. One day, while my daughter's back was turned (I think she was cleaning the bathroom floor) I stood in the door way chatting wtih her. I was wearing my monk's wig, with my shiny bald head peeking through, and when she turned around she screamed. It sure was funny (well, until I realized that it was really a pretty cruel "joke" to pull on my daughter who was having a difficult time enough without my stupid practical jokes). For me, I guess it was good therapy-it allowed me to laugh at myself.
Anyway, scarves are a cool and stylish way to cover your head. I bought a bunch of fabrics at Walmart (light-weight, but not sheer) and made about 12 different scarves with very bright and/or decorative patterns.
I always try to make the best out of bad situation, and I even kept some of my scarves to wear now--even though I now have hair. The ACS program that I mentioned earlier is also a great way to help you through this time.
dmc0 -
Hang in there
I cried when my hair started falling out. I waited until it started looking pretty bad and I had to shave it, We had a little family gathering on shave day along with a "we don't need no stinkin hair" cake
My husband the big sweetie shaved his too.I cried a little but moved on. I wore hats and wigs for awhile but slowly started going out without anything, I received nothing but smiles and I found strength in that. I did humor a few little kids but who doesn't like the smile of a child. I pray you find what ever works for you ((HUGS))RaeAnn 0 -
Admirationuvrae said:Hang in there
I cried when my hair started falling out. I waited until it started looking pretty bad and I had to shave it, We had a little family gathering on shave day along with a "we don't need no stinkin hair" cake My husband the big sweetie shaved his too.I cried a little but moved on. I wore hats and wigs for awhile but slowly started going out without anything, I received nothing but smiles and I found strength in that. I did humor a few little kids but who doesn't like the smile of a child. I pray you find what ever works for you ((HUGS))RaeAnn
I have a great deal of admiration for those of you who feel comfortable enough to go out in public with nothing on your head. I wish I could be that brave. I know I shouldn't feel embarrassed but ... for some reason I just don't feel comfortable out in public without my little denim hat. I put it on when I leave the house but I take if off the minute I get home.
Maybe part of why I don't feel comfortable out in public with my bald head is that when I look in the mirror ... I look exactly like my grandfather did when he was 80 ... and I'm ONLY 65.
hugs.
teena0 -
Hair today..........gone tomorrow
I just had my second chemo infusion on Monday. I was told that my hair would start falling out 10-14 days after my first chemo. Day #14.....boom, it started to go.....I had already had it cut, and I wear my hair short anyway.....then when it started falling out, I had it buzzed..... It isn't as traumatic as I expected, but I'm still not totally bald either, that's coming, though. What surprised me is that it is uncomfortable......some days it has actually hurt....they said to expect tingling......mine has felt hot and hurts at time but has gotten better...
I wear my wig when I go out......I purchased it even before my lumpectomy! Around the house, I wear a scarf....My husband has been so supportive, he keeps saying, "Why wear anything (on my head that is.....tee-hee} around the house?" My reponse "It makes me feel better." I, personally, don't want to walk past a mirror and be constantly reminded that I'm bald...To be TOTALLY honest.........the "OTHER HAIR LOSS" seems more traumatic to me.....if that makes sense.....I feel 10 years old again! I doubt that I will go out in public, bald........I have NEVER EVER been one to want to draw attention to myself, and I don't want to make others uncomfortable......although my daughter says...."WHO CARES about what others think? This is about you Mom!" I guess she's right, but that's just me.....
Each of us must make our own decisions......do what's best for you!0 -
Hair loss and welcomeMAJW said:Hair today..........gone tomorrow
I just had my second chemo infusion on Monday. I was told that my hair would start falling out 10-14 days after my first chemo. Day #14.....boom, it started to go.....I had already had it cut, and I wear my hair short anyway.....then when it started falling out, I had it buzzed..... It isn't as traumatic as I expected, but I'm still not totally bald either, that's coming, though. What surprised me is that it is uncomfortable......some days it has actually hurt....they said to expect tingling......mine has felt hot and hurts at time but has gotten better...
I wear my wig when I go out......I purchased it even before my lumpectomy! Around the house, I wear a scarf....My husband has been so supportive, he keeps saying, "Why wear anything (on my head that is.....tee-hee} around the house?" My reponse "It makes me feel better." I, personally, don't want to walk past a mirror and be constantly reminded that I'm bald...To be TOTALLY honest.........the "OTHER HAIR LOSS" seems more traumatic to me.....if that makes sense.....I feel 10 years old again! I doubt that I will go out in public, bald........I have NEVER EVER been one to want to draw attention to myself, and I don't want to make others uncomfortable......although my daughter says...."WHO CARES about what others think? This is about you Mom!" I guess she's right, but that's just me.....
Each of us must make our own decisions......do what's best for you!
Traci,
I live just outside of LA too and we do get hot summers. I used to have long straight blonde hair past my sholders. I cut it short before my first chemo infusion I(I started chemo on 3-4-09 and will finish 09-02-09), my stylist and I cried together.My hair started to fall out on day 14 and I really noticed it when I was washing my hair in the shower and the hair on the middle of my scalp came out in my hand it was pretty scary. I called my husband at work and told him to come home ASAP and to buy an electric shaver on the way. He shaved my head for me, and then it was over. I think anticipating the hair loss was actually worse than when it actually happened. I spent quite a bit of money on long wigs but have found out that the short ones look so much more natural. Now that it is hot I wear scarves and hats. I found alot of my hats on sale at Kohls and Target. I don't think I've worn a wig since April. Hair loss can be tramatic but after you kind of get used to it. I say kind of because when I wake up in the morning I still think I have hair until I look in the mirror and am reminded once again that I am bald ( I have a little peach fuzz). Love Surf0 -
I have also wondered about
I have also wondered about losing my hair. I start chemo on the 23rd of july. I have always had thin hair. But it really scares me to think of losing my hair. I can hide my surgeries with clothes and no one knows I am sick. When I loose my hair everyone will know. Does it take a few days to fall out or does it just come out in chunks? My husband said he will shave his head too .Don't know if I can just shave my hair off. I guess I will know when the time comes. How long does it take to start coming back in after chemo? I know I shouldn't care what other people think about me but I do.0 -
I did not like my wig but doSoftBallMom2 said:I have also wondered about
I have also wondered about losing my hair. I start chemo on the 23rd of july. I have always had thin hair. But it really scares me to think of losing my hair. I can hide my surgeries with clothes and no one knows I am sick. When I loose my hair everyone will know. Does it take a few days to fall out or does it just come out in chunks? My husband said he will shave his head too .Don't know if I can just shave my hair off. I guess I will know when the time comes. How long does it take to start coming back in after chemo? I know I shouldn't care what other people think about me but I do.
I did not like my wig but do wear scarves. Adults have not stared or made fun but a few kids stared. The kids don't know why I am wearing this thing on my head but the adults I think know when someone just went through chemo. I have gotten several nice comments about my scarves though.
Softballmom, My hair came out a lot at once. If I ran my fingers through it a pile was in my hands. I think it would have taken a few days to come out but I chose to have it buzzed off. Having it fall out like that was harder for me than the buzzing. My hair started comming in right away but I was on Taxol so as that was comming in my eyebrows and eyelashes fell out(they stayed in on the A/C treatment). It is probably close to half an inch after finishing up the Taxol in June. I also have thin hair to begin with but am told it usually comes back thicker, I can only hope it does.
Good luck to both of you.
Kim0 -
SBMom...hairSoftBallMom2 said:I have also wondered about
I have also wondered about losing my hair. I start chemo on the 23rd of july. I have always had thin hair. But it really scares me to think of losing my hair. I can hide my surgeries with clothes and no one knows I am sick. When I loose my hair everyone will know. Does it take a few days to fall out or does it just come out in chunks? My husband said he will shave his head too .Don't know if I can just shave my hair off. I guess I will know when the time comes. How long does it take to start coming back in after chemo? I know I shouldn't care what other people think about me but I do.
falls out and comes back differently for everyone. When I had chemo ('07) I began losing it like a dog sheds its winter coat. But, before I began to lose it, I cut my waist-length hair off to a short bob. When my hair started to come out in clumps, after the first week or so of chemo, I asked a friend to shave it off. When it began to come back, during Taxol treatments, it came in like peach fuzz in three different colors...I looked like a calico kitten. I saw no humor in this, and let the Man Upstairs know this, a few days later it fell out. I guess He heard me, now I was bald again (I should have kept my mouth shut).
Later, it took several months, my hair came back darker than my natural hair and with what I call the "chemo curl." The curl didn't last, after my first haircut, my hair went back to wavy. After 3+ years, my hair is still baby soft, but the color is more like my natural color now. It is not as thick as it was before, but I'm not complaining this time-I'm just happy to have it.
It was upsetting to me to see my hair on the floor than it was to shave it off. If I told you that I didn't upset me, I would be lying to you, but since I couldn't do anything about it I decided to accept it. I knew it would grow back one day.
As for how people think, I understand. I never had reconstruction, because I am not a candidate for it, and I am a tad lopsided because of my partial mastectomy. I probably should wear something to "hide" it, but I figured it's part of who I am. As for the hair, I typically wore a hat or scarf without a wig. I wanted to be comfortable, I was not out to win a beauty contest (I couldn't have competed even before chemo). It was obvious that I had no hair, but I was the who would have been miserably hot not someone else, so I decided I would do what was best for me.
You're a survivor, just like us. You will also do what you have to do and you will be amazed at the strength you will draw from within to face whatever comes your way. Hang in there.
dmc0 -
Hi Traci, welcome to the
Hi Traci, welcome to the board and so sorry you are going through this. My hair was quite long and as I approached the 14th day I had it cut short and then as my scalp started to bother me I had it shaved. I cried. It wasn't so much that I was losing my hair but what it represented. Another cancer patient. It really started to sink in about then as I remembered seeing women without hair and thinking I wasn't going to get BC. Ha!!!
Anyways, it was winter here in the Canadian north and so I froze. I was surprised at how my long hair had always kept my neck and head warm. I wore knitted hats and scarves until it grew back enough to go public. By that time it was mar/apr and somewhat warmer.
I tell you, I miss it now. Hair is a pain. My husband couldn't walk by without giving it a rub like I was a genie and as a matter of fact, I liked rubbing it too. Showers were real quick and easy. I never had a rude comment. People looked but it didn't bother me as a matter of fact I understood why they would look. If you decide to go nude don't forget the sunscreen as I'm sure the chemo can make you more sensitive to the sun.
Best of luck to you and remember we are here for you.
hugs
jan0 -
Shaved it offphoenixrising said:Hi Traci, welcome to the
Hi Traci, welcome to the board and so sorry you are going through this. My hair was quite long and as I approached the 14th day I had it cut short and then as my scalp started to bother me I had it shaved. I cried. It wasn't so much that I was losing my hair but what it represented. Another cancer patient. It really started to sink in about then as I remembered seeing women without hair and thinking I wasn't going to get BC. Ha!!!
Anyways, it was winter here in the Canadian north and so I froze. I was surprised at how my long hair had always kept my neck and head warm. I wore knitted hats and scarves until it grew back enough to go public. By that time it was mar/apr and somewhat warmer.
I tell you, I miss it now. Hair is a pain. My husband couldn't walk by without giving it a rub like I was a genie and as a matter of fact, I liked rubbing it too. Showers were real quick and easy. I never had a rude comment. People looked but it didn't bother me as a matter of fact I understood why they would look. If you decide to go nude don't forget the sunscreen as I'm sure the chemo can make you more sensitive to the sun.
Best of luck to you and remember we are here for you.
hugs
jan
Since tomorrow will be day 14 for me, I made the decision to shave it off. It has been itching and driving me crazy so I am pretty sure its coming out soon! My husband had me shave his first. We did silly things with it and took pictures. I started to cry a little at first but very quickly we were both laughing. Once his was finished he did mine. Then we went out so I could get a feel for what it will be like. I wore a headscarf which I could not wait to tear off the minute we got home! Tomorrow I go back to work and I wanted to kind of get used to it before then! I know it sounds funny since I live in Phoenix but I wore my little cap to bed because I couldn't stand the way the air from the fan felt on my head! It is definitely not as awful as I imagined! I also like the way my husband looks!0 -
forgot to mentionelm3544 said:Shaved it off
Since tomorrow will be day 14 for me, I made the decision to shave it off. It has been itching and driving me crazy so I am pretty sure its coming out soon! My husband had me shave his first. We did silly things with it and took pictures. I started to cry a little at first but very quickly we were both laughing. Once his was finished he did mine. Then we went out so I could get a feel for what it will be like. I wore a headscarf which I could not wait to tear off the minute we got home! Tomorrow I go back to work and I wanted to kind of get used to it before then! I know it sounds funny since I live in Phoenix but I wore my little cap to bed because I couldn't stand the way the air from the fan felt on my head! It is definitely not as awful as I imagined! I also like the way my husband looks!
Our car wouldn't start so we had to call a cab. As we were waiting outside, a group of intoxicated people came out. One man made some jestures and said something about praying Buddhists but his friends told him to shut up. My husband got pretty angry, yelled "what did you say" but luckily that was the end of it. My husband was worried that I was hurt but I did not let it bother me.0 -
Elm, you are a remarkableelm3544 said:forgot to mention
Our car wouldn't start so we had to call a cab. As we were waiting outside, a group of intoxicated people came out. One man made some jestures and said something about praying Buddhists but his friends told him to shut up. My husband got pretty angry, yelled "what did you say" but luckily that was the end of it. My husband was worried that I was hurt but I did not let it bother me.
Elm, you are a remarkable strong woman! Wishing you good luck and please keep posting!0 -
Hi Traci and welcome! Itphoenixrising said:Hi Traci, welcome to the
Hi Traci, welcome to the board and so sorry you are going through this. My hair was quite long and as I approached the 14th day I had it cut short and then as my scalp started to bother me I had it shaved. I cried. It wasn't so much that I was losing my hair but what it represented. Another cancer patient. It really started to sink in about then as I remembered seeing women without hair and thinking I wasn't going to get BC. Ha!!!
Anyways, it was winter here in the Canadian north and so I froze. I was surprised at how my long hair had always kept my neck and head warm. I wore knitted hats and scarves until it grew back enough to go public. By that time it was mar/apr and somewhat warmer.
I tell you, I miss it now. Hair is a pain. My husband couldn't walk by without giving it a rub like I was a genie and as a matter of fact, I liked rubbing it too. Showers were real quick and easy. I never had a rude comment. People looked but it didn't bother me as a matter of fact I understood why they would look. If you decide to go nude don't forget the sunscreen as I'm sure the chemo can make you more sensitive to the sun.
Best of luck to you and remember we are here for you.
hugs
jan
Hi Traci and welcome! It seems everyone has told you what they did. You do whatever makes you feel comfortable. And, if someone stares, don't always think of it as a bad thing. Maybe, you are just so beautiful without hair, that they are envious! Good luck!0
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