Why do we come here...?

taleena
taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Why do we come here?? This question came to my mind today... I come here because people who have walked this journey before me, understand where I was, where I am at, and where I am trying to get to..They give me hope, strength, comfort, and courage...

I come here, because there are those who walk this journey with me, going through the same tests, the same emotions, same or different treatments to achieve the same goal...that one day NED will live with us... we lean on eachother in an hour of need.

I come here to cry, I come here to laugh, I come here because I need to.. to have a place where people understand, encourage, and distract...

I remember my life before dx... blissfully ignorant of all the things that I have had to learn... I had compassion for those who had cancer, I understood what it meant to be a "care taker" of someone with the dreaded disease... but I was still ignorant to what they were going through... Taking for granted life.. they way that one day continually rolled into the next... Now I see the little things in a different light..

I come here, because maybe I can offer some support to someone who needs it, maybe in some way I can touch someone's life, the way some of you have touched mine...maybe I can make someone smile, make their day a little lighter, offer them a little ray of sunshine in the midst of the storm..

I have made it my life's work not to "need" anyone.. ever.. I spent years building walls, keeping people at a distance...keeping myself safe... when the reality is... behind those walls is me... a person who needs friendship... a sense of belonging... a person who NEEDS...ALL OF YOU...

That's why I come here.... Why do you?

~T
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Comments

  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    T.......
    Those are exactly the reasons that I am here. Being a member of this board has been my brightest light since dx. My questions have been answered, my fears have been calmed, and I have come to depend very much on the wonderful people here. They have shown me hope, when I didn't have any. Have giiven me courage, when I couldn't face another day. They have taught me that there is life after cancer. They have made my cancer journey bearable.

    I only hope that I can give back to others, what I have been given here.

    And I am so very, very appreciative!

    CR
  • journeyon
    journeyon Member Posts: 16
    Why
    I started coming here to find answers to questions I have that people who aren't going through this can't understand - no matter how supportive they are (like, is the amount of fatigues I have normal, how soon will my eyelashes grow back, or is it normal for my brain to quit working?) This discussion board has been a blessing, comfort and a great source of knowledge for me. I too hope someday I can be of support to someone else who is just beginning this journey.

    T - like you, I built several walls around me, so much that I basically lived my emotional life in a dark cave. I volunteer for community projects, but never let anyone in. I have to say Cancer gave me my life back. It brought me out in a strange way - even people at work told my boss that I had a nice glow about me (that was before I told others besides my immediate supervisor and upper admins that I had cancer). Now I don't keep to myself like I use to and enjoy life so much more. It woke me up and I decided that had I suddenly died, I would have died in that dark cave, and I am glad I had a chance to change that.
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    journeyon said:

    Why
    I started coming here to find answers to questions I have that people who aren't going through this can't understand - no matter how supportive they are (like, is the amount of fatigues I have normal, how soon will my eyelashes grow back, or is it normal for my brain to quit working?) This discussion board has been a blessing, comfort and a great source of knowledge for me. I too hope someday I can be of support to someone else who is just beginning this journey.

    T - like you, I built several walls around me, so much that I basically lived my emotional life in a dark cave. I volunteer for community projects, but never let anyone in. I have to say Cancer gave me my life back. It brought me out in a strange way - even people at work told my boss that I had a nice glow about me (that was before I told others besides my immediate supervisor and upper admins that I had cancer). Now I don't keep to myself like I use to and enjoy life so much more. It woke me up and I decided that had I suddenly died, I would have died in that dark cave, and I am glad I had a chance to change that.

    I came to this site because
    I came to this site because I was told I have breast cancer. I was scared, I needed help, I needed answers, I needed someone to listen, I needed someone who understood, I needed to cry and I needed to laugh. I need you all. Thats why I am here.
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    Kat11 said:

    I came to this site because
    I came to this site because I was told I have breast cancer. I was scared, I needed help, I needed answers, I needed someone to listen, I needed someone who understood, I needed to cry and I needed to laugh. I need you all. Thats why I am here.

    Why?
    I can't put it any better than you have already described. I think I came here because I was so tired of people telling me how brave I was, when inside I was breaking up..not because I was scared..my body had just had enough. I have enjoyed all the fun and friendships and hugs along the way and being able to tell someone how rotten you felt even though I knew tomorrow would be a new day.

    I certainly hope I can give back something now or in the future.

    I was sitting in the radiation waiting room the other day and a gentleman in his gown said to me, "This is not a happy place is it?" I could not disagree more. I have found the oncology unit to be such a fun place. People making the best of what they are given and it always amazes me that people have such resilience. People actually show their emotions and pass out hugs and know that each day is special.
  • bfbear
    bfbear Member Posts: 380
    Kat11 said:

    I came to this site because
    I came to this site because I was told I have breast cancer. I was scared, I needed help, I needed answers, I needed someone to listen, I needed someone who understood, I needed to cry and I needed to laugh. I need you all. Thats why I am here.

    I came here because
    I was lucky enough to happen upon this site very soon after my bc diagnosis. I stayed because I found a family of welcoming women who had gone through, or were going through, the same emotions and experiences that I was.
    I came here to ask questions, to vent feelings, to share my good news to share my bad news, and to laugh and to cry with others at their stories. And I've stayed to offer up my experiences and support to others who are going through the same diagnoses, surgeries, and emotions.
    I have recommended this site to others, and shared with them how important it's been to me. I have learned so much here, and met so many wonderful people.
    I will always be grateful for having found this place and all of YOU!!!!

    With love and gratitude,
    Debi
  • teresa41
    teresa41 Member Posts: 471

    Why?
    I can't put it any better than you have already described. I think I came here because I was so tired of people telling me how brave I was, when inside I was breaking up..not because I was scared..my body had just had enough. I have enjoyed all the fun and friendships and hugs along the way and being able to tell someone how rotten you felt even though I knew tomorrow would be a new day.

    I certainly hope I can give back something now or in the future.

    I was sitting in the radiation waiting room the other day and a gentleman in his gown said to me, "This is not a happy place is it?" I could not disagree more. I have found the oncology unit to be such a fun place. People making the best of what they are given and it always amazes me that people have such resilience. People actually show their emotions and pass out hugs and know that each day is special.

    i am here
    i am here to learn all i can about breast cancer and for strength hope and faith i have always been a loner maybe this happened to me for a reason maybe a wake up call that is ok to reach out to others that is why im here.
  • dyaneb123
    dyaneb123 Member Posts: 950
    bfbear said:

    I came here because
    I was lucky enough to happen upon this site very soon after my bc diagnosis. I stayed because I found a family of welcoming women who had gone through, or were going through, the same emotions and experiences that I was.
    I came here to ask questions, to vent feelings, to share my good news to share my bad news, and to laugh and to cry with others at their stories. And I've stayed to offer up my experiences and support to others who are going through the same diagnoses, surgeries, and emotions.
    I have recommended this site to others, and shared with them how important it's been to me. I have learned so much here, and met so many wonderful people.
    I will always be grateful for having found this place and all of YOU!!!!

    With love and gratitude,
    Debi

    I came for info, I stay for
    I came for info, I stay for the support and friendship. This board always has the most up to the moment accurate info on any subject. When someone on the board suggested Claritin for bone pain I mentioned it to my Onc. , now he has the Breast Cancer clinic reccommending it. I feel good about that. We're not only helping each other , but all of those around us going through the same struggle.
    Dee
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    Why?
    Well...all my main reasons have already been expressed through everyone else's thoughts. The secondary reason.....I could stay in my PJ's and didn't have to get dressed for group therapy!!!! Wohooooo.......:) Pammy
  • maryannrogers
    maryannrogers Member Posts: 115
    WHY?
    As Pammy said, all my reasons have already been expressed by the others. Never have I ever felt like a stranger to anyone here. These are the people who understand what life is all about. We are the special ones!

    Maryann
  • Ms_Nellie
    Ms_Nellie Member Posts: 40
    You said it all

    ~T,

    Your words summed up my reasons for coming here. I was scared, I was alone, and had lots of questions.

    I too spent my life "not needing" anyone. Now I am realizing just how much I really need others. I must learn to say you can help and here is how.

    For now I feel a bit better prepared emotionally, and realize that there will be storms as well as calmness.

    I come here in hopes of helping others as they have already helped me. To listen to, to cry with, to hope with and for and to give and gain strength from the vast experiences found here.

    Nellie
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    CR1954 said:

    T.......
    Those are exactly the reasons that I am here. Being a member of this board has been my brightest light since dx. My questions have been answered, my fears have been calmed, and I have come to depend very much on the wonderful people here. They have shown me hope, when I didn't have any. Have giiven me courage, when I couldn't face another day. They have taught me that there is life after cancer. They have made my cancer journey bearable.

    I only hope that I can give back to others, what I have been given here.

    And I am so very, very appreciative!

    CR

    Ok, I have to ditto Taleena
    Ok, I have to ditto Taleena and CR in what they said. I feel the same way! I am also very appreciative of all of you and of this site!
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    I am here......
    Because I am in need of the support of everyone in here. I spent months with and talking to people who have not been through this, and I sincerely wish I had found this site before. I know we are all going through this together and I think we find peace, harmony and understanding here. I know you all give me the support I need to deal with the demons and dragons that haunt me. Thanks to all of you!
    Pat
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    T~
    You are so good with words that I think you have said it all. The way I feel that is.

    Hugs
    Jadie<3
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
    Jadie said:

    T~
    You are so good with words that I think you have said it all. The way I feel that is.

    Hugs
    Jadie<3</p>

    It's all been said
    I agree with everyone ... and everyone put it into words much better than I ever could. I'm here because I needed to talk to people who have had similar experiences and then hopefully somewhere along the way maybe I could share some of my experiences.

    I got through the lumpectomy ... and then found this wonderful site. I almost didn't get a port ... but after reading posts here ... I knew I could do it. After all ... other women were just as "chicken" as I was ... and they did it ... so ... so could I. I did fine through chemo and am having radiation #5 today and doing fine.

    I honestly think I would have been a total basket case if it had not been for this site and the knowledge and support given. I am not alone.

    love you all

    teena
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    Why do I come here
    I first came to this site long after my treatment had ended. I came because I felt I might be able to offer some insight to new comers and in doing so I may be able to make someone else's cancer walk a tad easier. While here I have reaped much myself, I have gained many of friend and been blessed by the wisdom and support of all of you! I have found a group of people who truly understand what it means to live with the knowledge that you have cancer, I don't wish that knowledge on anyone! I frequent the bc board along with a few others. We all have much to give her and much to receive, there is a wealth of information and caring that is available here and all I have to do to get it is log in. Thank you all for all that you do for each other.

    Hugs,

    RE
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    RE said:

    Why do I come here
    I first came to this site long after my treatment had ended. I came because I felt I might be able to offer some insight to new comers and in doing so I may be able to make someone else's cancer walk a tad easier. While here I have reaped much myself, I have gained many of friend and been blessed by the wisdom and support of all of you! I have found a group of people who truly understand what it means to live with the knowledge that you have cancer, I don't wish that knowledge on anyone! I frequent the bc board along with a few others. We all have much to give her and much to receive, there is a wealth of information and caring that is available here and all I have to do to get it is log in. Thank you all for all that you do for each other.

    Hugs,

    RE

    Same as RE said.

    Same as RE said.
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    RE said:

    Why do I come here
    I first came to this site long after my treatment had ended. I came because I felt I might be able to offer some insight to new comers and in doing so I may be able to make someone else's cancer walk a tad easier. While here I have reaped much myself, I have gained many of friend and been blessed by the wisdom and support of all of you! I have found a group of people who truly understand what it means to live with the knowledge that you have cancer, I don't wish that knowledge on anyone! I frequent the bc board along with a few others. We all have much to give her and much to receive, there is a wealth of information and caring that is available here and all I have to do to get it is log in. Thank you all for all that you do for each other.

    Hugs,

    RE

    Because
    I "stumbled" onto this site when I was first dx in April.......to be me it has been a GOD SEND! As much as we have to trust our physicians, etc. It is so uplifing to come here and be able to ask a question and get a "first hand" response........NO ONE KNOWS WHAT WE ARE GOING THROUGH except one who is going through it also or one who has travled the road we heading down.......as well meaning as people and friends and family can be, THEY DON"T GET IT! That's what I so especially love about this site........There's ALWAYS someone to answer a question......I am so thankful for this site........

    Nancy
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    Ditto Taleena: I think we
    Ditto Taleena: I think we all come here for the same reason. Only someone that has walked our shoes can truly understand the emotional as well as physical toll a cancer diagnosis causes us. I don't know where I would be right now if I didn't have the support of all of you here on this site. I'm hoping that I can also touch womeones life by offering my support and experience. Hugs, Lili
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565

    Ditto Taleena: I think we
    Ditto Taleena: I think we all come here for the same reason. Only someone that has walked our shoes can truly understand the emotional as well as physical toll a cancer diagnosis causes us. I don't know where I would be right now if I didn't have the support of all of you here on this site. I'm hoping that I can also touch womeones life by offering my support and experience. Hugs, Lili

    You already
    have and continue to,Lili! And everyone else as well!
  • JoMama54
    JoMama54 Member Posts: 78

    You already
    have and continue to,Lili! And everyone else as well!

    For me to..........................
    As everyone else has stated. I only read this site while at work M-F and the weekend I can't wait to get to work on Monday to see how everyone is doing!
    Love you guys, you have been strength for me!
    JoMama