AIs/depression/what would YOU do

Jeanne D

ohilly said:

to everybody
To all who wrote back about my depression:

I did go to my primary care physician and got a prescription for Ativan - I seem to alternate between depression and anxiety, and somehow I felt more comfortable taking a drug 'as needed' as opposed to one I have to take every day. I just filled the prescription, so I don't know if it will work or not, but I'm going to give it a try. I also signed up to take meditation classes which will be starting soon.

Marilynn, I completely understand your not wanting to take anti-depressants and switching back to Arimidex. For right now, I am just too terrified to get off the Femara: I know the other two AIs are an option, but I'm hoping that the Ativan will help, and for some reason, I would rather take anti-depressants than get off the Femara. But I do understand that you felt the opposite. I seem to have a lot of conflicting feelings about Femara: on the one hand, I hate it because of the side-effects, and on the other hands, it's like a security blanket I'm afraid to give up.

I forgot your screen name, but whoever wrote about being one month off the Femara and three months on, that seems like an idea and I will discuss this with my oncologist.

Not many people wrote about 'natural' (drug-free) approaches to handling depression and anxiety. If anyone has any thoughts about this, let me know. I am seeing a therapist and am trying to practice Cognitive Behavioral therapy, if anyone has heard of this.

It does help to know that AIs actually can cause depression and that I'm not alone.

Ohilly

Ohilly
Glad your doctor gave you some medication Ohilly! Please try it and see if it helps. There are several he can switch you to if one doesn't work. Please keep us posted on how you are doing! Hugs, Jeanne

jnl

tgf said:

Positive steps
Ohilly ... it sounds like you are taking some positive steps with your depression and anxiety and I hope your therapist helps you talk through some of your stresses ...

Meiditation is great. And ... have you ever tried yoga? I took some classes years ago just to get some exercise. But ... I still use what I learned about breathing and relaxing when I feel stresses/anxious. It really helps.

Also ... I still work full time ... and work gets stressful ... or I feel pressure ... I look at a poster I have up on the wall. It's a picture of the Grand Canyon. I look at that and then I realize that whatever is bothering me is not really a "big deal." The Grand Canyon IS a big deal. Five hundred years from now my "stuff" will mean nothing ... but the Grand Canyon will STILL be a big deal. It kind of helps me put things in perspective ... since I have a tendency to stew and stress about things that aren't really important at all. Sort of like the Serenity Prayer. You have to figure out what things you can control ... and you also need learn/accept the things you can NOT change.

Please take care ...

love,
teena

Glad to read Ohilly that you
Glad to read Ohilly that you are taking some good positive steps to help you to feel better. I hope the therapy helps you. Having bc is hard and we all need help at times. Good luck!

debs615

I am newly DX. But I do
I am newly DX. But I do know a little about depression. I have been on wellbutrin for a couple years and it really helps me. I also take xanax for anxiety. Lately I've stepped up the xanax. You need to focus on the important things. I'm just beginning this unwelcomed journey and I hope you find what you need from your drs. Have you experienced depression before taking this medication?

dorothyt

Jeanne D said:

Ohilly
Glad your doctor gave you some medication Ohilly! Please try it and see if it helps. There are several he can switch you to if one doesn't work. Please keep us posted on how you are doing! Hugs, Jeanne

Ohilly, I'm having problems
Ohilly, I'm having problems also with depression and anxiety. I told my Onc. about it and she told me that she was not that kind of doctor and neither was my regular doctor. She said I would have to go to the mental clinic if I want to get help . That made me feel like she did not give a care about me or how I was feeling. I take Arimidex. I have joint pains sometimes it's bad, but no hair lost.

Alexis F

dorothyt said:

Ohilly, I'm having problems
Ohilly, I'm having problems also with depression and anxiety. I told my Onc. about it and she told me that she was not that kind of doctor and neither was my regular doctor. She said I would have to go to the mental clinic if I want to get help . That made me feel like she did not give a care about me or how I was feeling. I take Arimidex. I have joint pains sometimes it's bad, but no hair lost.

I am sending good thoughts
I am sending good thoughts and hugs to you Dorothy and Debs! Your doctor Dorothy sounds awful. Maybe, you should get another one that has some feelings and that can help you.
Good luck! Hugs, Lex

ohilly

debs615 said:

I am newly DX. But I do
I am newly DX. But I do know a little about depression. I have been on wellbutrin for a couple years and it really helps me. I also take xanax for anxiety. Lately I've stepped up the xanax. You need to focus on the important things. I'm just beginning this unwelcomed journey and I hope you find what you need from your drs. Have you experienced depression before taking this medication?

I was depressed before...
I have been depressed before in my life, debs615, but nothing like this. I must have really been traumatized by losing my hair, which never grew back as thick as it was before, because now I am afraid of every medication for fear it will have the hair thinning side effect.

But I am going to pop an Ativan now even though on one website it listed hair thinning as a side effect. It seems like every drug has hair thinning as a side effect, however rare, but I guess I will take the Ativan because I'm now starting to get anxious about being anxious if you know what I mean.

Thanks for caring,

Ohilly

lynn1950

dorothyt said:

Ohilly, I'm having problems
Ohilly, I'm having problems also with depression and anxiety. I told my Onc. about it and she told me that she was not that kind of doctor and neither was my regular doctor. She said I would have to go to the mental clinic if I want to get help . That made me feel like she did not give a care about me or how I was feeling. I take Arimidex. I have joint pains sometimes it's bad, but no hair lost.

What have you tried?
I feel like I'm been struggling and struggling. My radiation onc told me to see a psychiatrist. At first this made me feel bad. I am seeing one now, and a therapist. I still struggle. Like you, I have joint pains too (Arimidex). I think that sometimes the oncs and gps feel unable to help us. Lynn

tasha_111

ohilly said:

I was depressed before...
I have been depressed before in my life, debs615, but nothing like this. I must have really been traumatized by losing my hair, which never grew back as thick as it was before, because now I am afraid of every medication for fear it will have the hair thinning side effect.

But I am going to pop an Ativan now even though on one website it listed hair thinning as a side effect. It seems like every drug has hair thinning as a side effect, however rare, but I guess I will take the Ativan because I'm now starting to get anxious about being anxious if you know what I mean.

Thanks for caring,

Ohilly

Ohilly
I was not on anything before my diagnosis. Now I am on every night Zoloft and when I feel like it Ativan. It sure helps a lot, even though I fought like hell not to take anything like that!

I feel so much better now........It took My Mum and Husband to gang up on me to get me to the doctors to ask for something......When I saw my Doctor he said "I was expecting this, It's normal after what you have been through" He just didn't want to force the issue until I was ready.

I only went to him after reading postings on this site, and realizing that almost everyone who has done this has needed a little bit of help with these pills.

I was just so down, I couldn't see it for myself, I just thought I wanted to end it all.

I hope you will be OK and get a Chemical-Kick......Sometimes it's the only way.

Huge Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

mimivac

Ohilly
Glad that you approached your doctor about this. I understand how you're feeling. I also wake up sometimes with a feeling of dread that I can't shake. It is probably a combination of situational depression for all you have been through and drug side-effects. What a combo. It is important that you combat this depression, Ohilly, because I want you to have joy and contentment in your life. You deserve that.

I think cognative behavioral therapy is an excellent idea to supplement any anti-depressants you may be on. Meditation is also good. As someone else mentioned, yoga can help relax you and teach you to let bad thoughts float away. Guided visualization is another idea.

It sounds like you are handling this, Ohilly. Please keep us updated.

Mimi

Alexis F

mimivac said:

Ohilly
Glad that you approached your doctor about this. I understand how you're feeling. I also wake up sometimes with a feeling of dread that I can't shake. It is probably a combination of situational depression for all you have been through and drug side-effects. What a combo. It is important that you combat this depression, Ohilly, because I want you to have joy and contentment in your life. You deserve that.

I think cognative behavioral therapy is an excellent idea to supplement any anti-depressants you may be on. Meditation is also good. As someone else mentioned, yoga can help relax you and teach you to let bad thoughts float away. Guided visualization is another idea.

It sounds like you are handling this, Ohilly. Please keep us updated.

Mimi

Whatever you need to help
Whatever you need to help you Ohilly, I hope that you will try. Sometimes we just need a little extra help. Good luck!

ladydi1

Alexis F said:

Whatever you need to help
Whatever you need to help you Ohilly, I hope that you will try. Sometimes we just need a little extra help. Good luck!

It feels like this
((Ohilly))

I am on Arimidex, 9 mos now, the depression periods are awful. Mine hit yesterday again. I turn to writing when it happens, and this is what it feels like:

Darkness Decends
When Kindness Ends
She Reaches Out In The Gloom
To Find an Empty Room
Her Friends Recede
Don’t See Her Need
Feels So Much Pain
As She Tries to Stay Sane
Hurt From All Sides
Part of Her Hides
No One Hears Her Cries
As Something Inside Dies
Was It All In Vain?
Doesn’t Want To Play This Game
One Single Sentence, To Whom It May Concern
Holds Nothing To Read, Nothing To Learn
No One To Mourn, No One To Cry
On The Day When Something Inside of Her Died
What Was Her Meaning? What Was Her Worth?
Unloved At Her Death, As She Was Unloved At Her Birth
None Will Remember and None Will Care
It Will Be Just As If She Never Was Here.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone and Ohilly I hope that you find relief as when depression hits it is such an awful place to be.
Hugs,
Ladydi1

JoMama54

ladydi1 said:

It feels like this
((Ohilly))

I am on Arimidex, 9 mos now, the depression periods are awful. Mine hit yesterday again. I turn to writing when it happens, and this is what it feels like:

Darkness Decends
When Kindness Ends
She Reaches Out In The Gloom
To Find an Empty Room
Her Friends Recede
Don’t See Her Need
Feels So Much Pain
As She Tries to Stay Sane
Hurt From All Sides
Part of Her Hides
No One Hears Her Cries
As Something Inside Dies
Was It All In Vain?
Doesn’t Want To Play This Game
One Single Sentence, To Whom It May Concern
Holds Nothing To Read, Nothing To Learn
No One To Mourn, No One To Cry
On The Day When Something Inside of Her Died
What Was Her Meaning? What Was Her Worth?
Unloved At Her Death, As She Was Unloved At Her Birth
None Will Remember and None Will Care
It Will Be Just As If She Never Was Here.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone and Ohilly I hope that you find relief as when depression hits it is such an awful place to be.
Hugs,
Ladydi1

Is that how it works?
I have been on Arimidex since March this year and am going through a big depression right
now................does it come and go????? I was beginning to think it's not worth it
with all the side effects. I don't comment much but I try to read all the comments........
you guys are a great bunch of warriors!!!!
LUV....JoMama

phoenixrising

dorothyt said:

Ohilly, I'm having problems
Ohilly, I'm having problems also with depression and anxiety. I told my Onc. about it and she told me that she was not that kind of doctor and neither was my regular doctor. She said I would have to go to the mental clinic if I want to get help . That made me feel like she did not give a care about me or how I was feeling. I take Arimidex. I have joint pains sometimes it's bad, but no hair lost.

That's just plain BS
If your doc prescribed heart medication and you developed se from it,it would be up to her to prescribe something different. These estrogen blockers/inhibitors can cause depression and anxiety and are listed as se's, perhaps she should review the drug monographs. I hope you find your way to a doctor that actually does her job.

hugs
jan

Noel

JoMama54 said:

Is that how it works?
I have been on Arimidex since March this year and am going through a big depression right
now................does it come and go????? I was beginning to think it's not worth it
with all the side effects. I don't comment much but I try to read all the comments........
you guys are a great bunch of warriors!!!!
LUV....JoMama

How do you stay on Arimidex
How do you stay on Arimidex if it makes you that depressed? Can't you stop it or try another hormone replacement drug? I feel sorry for you. Noel

Alexis F

phoenixrising said:

That's just plain BS
If your doc prescribed heart medication and you developed se from it,it would be up to her to prescribe something different. These estrogen blockers/inhibitors can cause depression and anxiety and are listed as se's, perhaps she should review the drug monographs. I hope you find your way to a doctor that actually does her job.

hugs
jan

I agree Jan. Your doctor
I agree Jan. Your doctor should make every effort to change your medication and keep trying until they find something that helps you.

dmc_emmy

ladydi1 said:

It feels like this
((Ohilly))

I am on Arimidex, 9 mos now, the depression periods are awful. Mine hit yesterday again. I turn to writing when it happens, and this is what it feels like:

Darkness Decends
When Kindness Ends
She Reaches Out In The Gloom
To Find an Empty Room
Her Friends Recede
Don’t See Her Need
Feels So Much Pain
As She Tries to Stay Sane
Hurt From All Sides
Part of Her Hides
No One Hears Her Cries
As Something Inside Dies
Was It All In Vain?
Doesn’t Want To Play This Game
One Single Sentence, To Whom It May Concern
Holds Nothing To Read, Nothing To Learn
No One To Mourn, No One To Cry
On The Day When Something Inside of Her Died
What Was Her Meaning? What Was Her Worth?
Unloved At Her Death, As She Was Unloved At Her Birth
None Will Remember and None Will Care
It Will Be Just As If She Never Was Here.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone and Ohilly I hope that you find relief as when depression hits it is such an awful place to be.
Hugs,
Ladydi1

ladydi1-so true!
This is how I felt when I was on Femara. I haven't gotten up the nerve to try an a-d, but I'm sure this will be the next step. In the meantime, I am drug-free until my onc sees me in July.

As for writing, I do the same thing. It really helps, even if it's for my eyes only.
dmc

survivorbc09

dmc_emmy said:

ladydi1-so true!
This is how I felt when I was on Femara. I haven't gotten up the nerve to try an a-d, but I'm sure this will be the next step. In the meantime, I am drug-free until my onc sees me in July.

As for writing, I do the same thing. It really helps, even if it's for my eyes only.
dmc

So, dmc, you aren't on any
So, dmc, you aren't on any hormone therapy now? What is Femara?

ladydi1

dmc_emmy said:

ladydi1-so true!
This is how I felt when I was on Femara. I haven't gotten up the nerve to try an a-d, but I'm sure this will be the next step. In the meantime, I am drug-free until my onc sees me in July.

As for writing, I do the same thing. It really helps, even if it's for my eyes only.
dmc

Nice to not feel so alone in this!
dmc
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone when these dark feelings hit. I have a rarer more aggressive bc that I was told that only Arimidex (out of all the AI's) could help so I am stuck with it and I take so many other things for the severe bone and joint pain and work full time, so I just didn't want to add another (anti depressant) to the mix! Let me know what happens in July. It is horrible this constant Quality vs Quanity of Life we all face. I have a 16 yr. old daughter, so I take it for her, but it is a daily struggle.
Hugs,
Ladydi1

dmc_emmy

survivorbc09 said:

So, dmc, you aren't on any
So, dmc, you aren't on any hormone therapy now? What is Femara?

Femara is another hormone drug
that is one of the four often prescribed for bc (Arimidex, Arommasin, Tomoxifen, and Femara-I probably really butchered the spellings, sorry). I tried two othes, Arimidex and Arommasin, but both caused me such severe joint pain that I could barely move and, before getting out of bed in the AM my husband had to give me a full body massage so I could begin to function). Though I liked the pampering, I had to still go to work and the wonderful affects of the massage soon wore off. I had to take prescription pain meds daily for relief, but the pain meds caused other side effects and I had to change drugs again. I cannot take Tomoxifen due to a blood clotting disorder.

I was given Femara as a last resort. I experienced joint pain, but it was not as severe as the other two. I went on a regiment of 3 mo on and 1 mo off, and off during the entire summer. This worked fairly well, but I decided to try it for a longer period without a break and that headed me to disaster. After 8-9 months of taking it daily, I experienced every side effect from the common to the very rare. I also had severe depression and mood swings that made my ability to teach nearly impossible (my students never knew what kind of teacher they would have from one day to the next). Finally, I stopped altogether when my daughter told me, "I love you Mom, but I just don't want to be around you. I never know what to expect. You're not the mom I use to know." We have always had open communication between us and, though those words cut deeply, it was good that she was able to tell me. It made me realize that I'm not mentally ill, and it also brought me to this site--both good things. My mood swings were also affecting my relationship with my husband.

Femara, like all of the hormonal therapy drugs, are extremely strong meds. Some people have few, if any se, unfortunately I am not one of those people. I opted for quality of life rather than quantity and stopped my meds. I told my daughter that my onc may insist on me trying it again, she acknowledges with a silent nod then says, "I know."

It is my understanding that the 4 hormonal drugs are designed to target specific kinds of bc, but I didn't have any options so I was given Femara. There is another hormonal therapy drug that is suppose to have fewer se (I cannot remember the name), but insurance will not cover it because it is too expensive and designed for stage IV bc (I have IIb-III).

It will be an interesting meeting with my onc in July. I'm nervous and I honestly don't know what I will decide to do--I suppose it will be one of those prayerful moments when I need to make one of the most important decisions of my life.

dmc

cats_toy

ladydi1 said:

Nice to not feel so alone in this!
dmc
Thank you for letting me know I am not alone when these dark feelings hit. I have a rarer more aggressive bc that I was told that only Arimidex (out of all the AI's) could help so I am stuck with it and I take so many other things for the severe bone and joint pain and work full time, so I just didn't want to add another (anti depressant) to the mix! Let me know what happens in July. It is horrible this constant Quality vs Quanity of Life we all face. I have a 16 yr. old daughter, so I take it for her, but it is a daily struggle.
Hugs,
Ladydi1

Ladydi1
Hope things get better for you. It sucks to have to take something that you know will make you feel bad. I have been on Arimidex for 18 months and have to say I am doing fairly well with it. Some bone pain and of course the hot flashes, but nothing like you. So I can only commend you for continuing. Maybe after a period of time, the side effects will lessen?
Take care
(I am from California too, SoCal. Whereabouts are you?)
=^..^=