Recurrance

2

Comments

  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    RE said:

    HUGS
    Hello Mom62, Welcome to the bc board however I am sorry you had to find us. I have had recurrances and understand your shock and fear. I too was becoming pretty sure it was behind me when it reared its ugly head. It is no fun to have to fight it again, but it is doable! We are here for you, come and ask questions or vent anytime you feel the need.

    Big Hugs,

    RE

    Hi Mom62. Sorry you are
    Hi Mom62. Sorry you are here as a result of bc, but, you are surrounded by loving, caring and smart survivors that will help you along this journey. I didn't have a recurrence, but, had a new breast cancer in my other breast over 23 years later. Talk about shocked..I couldn't believe it. As RE said, it is no fun to fight it again, but, it is doable. This tumor was very small too, so, I had a lumpectomy, followed by 37 radiation treatments. I just finished rad's about a month ago. YEA!! lol I will pray for you and if you have any questions, just ask here and you will get an answer. If you feel like venting, do it here and we all will understand. After all, we are all in this together!
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    Noel said:

    I am sorry Mom62. This is
    I am sorry Mom62. This is horrible what is happening to you, and, just not fair. I, like most, thought that 5 years out was good, but, I guess it isn't, which is so scary. And, you vent whenever you want. That's why we are here! Prayers with you!

    Sorry too!
    I am sorry that this has happened..but remain positive!

    For the rest of us...don't live in fear of recurrence....live enjoying everyday that has been given to you.

    Hugs to you!
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    I am so sorry for your
    I am so sorry for your recurrence. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You will be around to see those 3 kids grow up! Please keep us posted!
  • jgridley
    jgridley Member Posts: 169
    so sorry mom62
    I am so sorry...You would have thought that you wouldn't have to go through this again.
    I have only been a survivor for six months..but often wonder if it will ever come back or
    go to the next breast. I think we all live with the wondering if it will come back and if so how bad. I know I have first mamo in september, and I am scared!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    I have four boys the youngest is 15...I know that they would go postal if I had to tell them that the cancer is back.

    Julie
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    jgridley said:

    so sorry mom62
    I am so sorry...You would have thought that you wouldn't have to go through this again.
    I have only been a survivor for six months..but often wonder if it will ever come back or
    go to the next breast. I think we all live with the wondering if it will come back and if so how bad. I know I have first mamo in september, and I am scared!

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    I have four boys the youngest is 15...I know that they would go postal if I had to tell them that the cancer is back.

    Julie

    MOM 62
    So sorry. This stuff just ain't fair at all...But you can beat it again...Strong lady, you know the ropes now. I hope it is not as awful 2nd time around....Huge Hugs and you are in my daily thoughts..........Take care. Hugs Jxxxxxxxx
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    MOM 62
    So sorry. This stuff just ain't fair at all...But you can beat it again...Strong lady, you know the ropes now. I hope it is not as awful 2nd time around....Huge Hugs and you are in my daily thoughts..........Take care. Hugs Jxxxxxxxx

    Recurrence's terrify me, as, I am sure it does everyone here. And, to read in this posting

    of so many that have had them, dimishes a lot of hope. Oh well, I pray that you all never go

    thru it again! And, Klayfield, what do you mean that once it comes back it is incurable?
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    Kylez said:

    Recurrence's terrify me, as, I am sure it does everyone here. And, to read in this posting

    of so many that have had them, dimishes a lot of hope. Oh well, I pray that you all never go

    thru it again! And, Klayfield, what do you mean that once it comes back it is incurable?

    Kylez
    Same here. I think it's the first thing we consider in the morning when we awake, and the last thing we think about when we get off to sleep. It's bloody terrifying. I always sleep with my fingers crossed......(How sad is that?)

    Once is enough. Jxxxxxxxxx
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Kylez
    Same here. I think it's the first thing we consider in the morning when we awake, and the last thing we think about when we get off to sleep. It's bloody terrifying. I always sleep with my fingers crossed......(How sad is that?)

    Once is enough. Jxxxxxxxxx

    This is sad. I guess I
    This is sad. I guess I didn't think about it that much until now. And, after seeing so many on here that have had a recurrence, it does make you think about when, rather than if.
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    Kylez said:

    This is sad. I guess I
    This is sad. I guess I didn't think about it that much until now. And, after seeing so many on here that have had a recurrence, it does make you think about when, rather than if.

    Yup
    That's about the size of it. I am thinking 'When'...and I already decided on a course of action. Fingers crossed eh?

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    tasha_111 said:

    Yup
    That's about the size of it. I am thinking 'When'...and I already decided on a course of action. Fingers crossed eh?

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    HEY! I am still alive and kicking! LOL
    I didn't have a recurrence of bc, as I posted above. I had a NEW cancer in the other breast, 23 years later. I had another lumpectomy and followed it with another set of radiation treatments. But, you know what? I did it, as, others have too. And, I am enjoying my life to the fullest, as, I did before. Don't get me wrong, when you do get bc the 2nd time, you do question, why me, why again and blah blah blah. But, when you look at your life, your husband, children, family and friends, you decide to fight it again and to beat it again and to look forward to a longgggggggggggg and healthy life! So, think positive, fight bc with everything that you have, take care of yourself and take life one day at a time and enjoy it to the fullest. Cause I am!
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    Jeanne D said:

    HEY! I am still alive and kicking! LOL
    I didn't have a recurrence of bc, as I posted above. I had a NEW cancer in the other breast, 23 years later. I had another lumpectomy and followed it with another set of radiation treatments. But, you know what? I did it, as, others have too. And, I am enjoying my life to the fullest, as, I did before. Don't get me wrong, when you do get bc the 2nd time, you do question, why me, why again and blah blah blah. But, when you look at your life, your husband, children, family and friends, you decide to fight it again and to beat it again and to look forward to a longgggggggggggg and healthy life! So, think positive, fight bc with everything that you have, take care of yourself and take life one day at a time and enjoy it to the fullest. Cause I am!

    Jeanne - 23 years wow thats
    Jeanne - 23 years wow thats great, a 2nd time around not so great, but you have proved this can be beaten. Thank you I needed to hear some good news today.
    Kathy
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    Kat11 said:

    Jeanne - 23 years wow thats
    Jeanne - 23 years wow thats great, a 2nd time around not so great, but you have proved this can be beaten. Thank you I needed to hear some good news today.
    Kathy

    Kathy
    Yes, 23 years ago - is great. 2nd time around - not great. And yes Kathy, this can be beaten. Like I said, RE has been thru it 3 times and look at her beautiful, smiling face and her wonderful full life! We can survive and beat anything! And, you WILL get thru this and be just fine! I am praying bigtime for you and it works! Love, Jeanne
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    tasha_111 said:

    Yup
    That's about the size of it. I am thinking 'When'...and I already decided on a course of action. Fingers crossed eh?

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Yea I guess I need to cross
    Yea I guess I need to cross my fingers and keep them crossed. Good luck to all of you!
  • Jan_M
    Jan_M Member Posts: 116
    mom62 said:

    I have been on tamoxafin
    I have been on tamoxafin since I got off chemo. I guess it doesn't work for me. They are going to do radiation and I'm getting shots to shut down my ovaries. I didn't have radiation after my first bout with bc so they are using it now. My oncologist doesn't think I'll need chemo. My first bc was er+. Thanks for your thoughts.

    Terry

    So sorry that the beast came
    So sorry that the beast came back. At least you don't have to have chemo, a plus, I guess. Radiation will be a piece of cake without the chemo. Well maybe not a piece of cake, but easier on you. Good Luck!
  • inkblot
    inkblot Member Posts: 698 Member
    Kylez said:

    Yea I guess I need to cross
    Yea I guess I need to cross my fingers and keep them crossed. Good luck to all of you!

    Wanted to get my 2cents
    Wanted to get my 2cents worth in on the issue of "not if it returns, but when". More of a rant, actually. LOL

    I pooh-pooh the very idea of such thinking. The doctor who said such a thing should be told in no uncertain terms that he's full of corn! What an insensitive thing to say. And he is just plain wrong. I know people who had cancers and lived long lives (I consider 27 years, long) and passed of totally unrelated causes. His bedside manner is hopelessly poor.

    I don't buy his statement for one second. And hope that none of you do! Sure it could return. It also could not. We could get a new cancer entirely. We could develop diabetes. We could get MS. We could go blind or lose our hearing. We could suffer a stroke. We could fall overboard on our next cruise, our next plane flight could end in disaster. All manner of things could happen. We could perish in a car accident or be left invalid. I don't worry about my cancer returning anymore than I worry about speeding vehicles and sharp knives in my kitchen. What's the point? If it's going to happen, my worrying obout it will not stop it. I cannot prevent it by being hypervigilant, stressed out about the possibility or overly concerned. I've better things to do. Like live my life to the fullest and take the best care of myself that I can. Because we do not know precisely what causes cancer, we also do not know, with any certainty, what prevents it. There are theories and thoughts and indications that this or that can help prevent it, but none of those are proven certain. I can tell you that I'd never want to have it again. I can tell you how scary it is to experience. I can tell you of the emotional drain of it all. But I can also tell you of the positive things I learned through having cancer. I would have loved to have gained that knowledge in a gentler fashion! But the bottom line remains, I gained certain positives that I did not have before and I'm grateful for them. With all the research being done on the effects of stress on our bodies, could it be possible that living in a constant state of fear could be conducive to not only a cancer returning, but other conditions developing as well?

    I gave up on thinking I could actually "control" what happens to me in life, a long time ago. All I'm really in charge of is how I respond when something does happen. As with most other things, we educate ourselves and do the best we can, take comfort in knowing that we're doing the best job we can of living well. Beyond that, we must let go and LIVE. Put our energies into healing and not into worrying about it coming back. Even if some jerk doctor seems convinced that once we have cancer we are doomed to have it again! We need to love, nurture and care for ourselves, as we would our best friends or our dearest loved ones and treat our whole selves with respect and kindness. As much as possible, banish all negative people and situations from our lives...including doctors like the one whom this topic is about. Accidents, illnesses, injuries, bad news of all manner can happen...but also fun, love, joy, laughter, full hearts and spirits and most importantly, peace. To me, this is truth. We can only love, laugh, cry, roll with the punches, treat every day as the special day that it is and enjoy our lives. Another day to love and be loved. To share and to give. There are NO guarantees about anything in life. None friends. Lightening could strike us. A meteor could fall from the sky and take us out. A crazed robber could come into our home and do us in. Do we not drive because of the possibility of having an accident? Do we keep our children home because we fear something may happen to them? My point is that we take huge risks every single day. Life is fraught with them if we think about it. Even falling in love is a risk, but we all do it anyway. We take many risks every day, don't we? So, shouldn't the risk of a cancer returning fit into the puzzle that is life, in its rightful place...not above every other concern in our lives. Why should one "possibility" make us ill with worry?


    I believe that our emotional healing, post cancer, is one of our biggest challenges and I also say that we can definitely get there. But not with the help of doctors like this one, who deal in fear provoking comments. We do not have a lot of medical and/or scientific support, post treatment, because the medical communities job is to heal our bodies. The rest is up to us. And it does not happen overnight. We must know when we need a boost or some help and get about it.

    We must seek and find proactive, positive ways to rid ourselves of the fears...otherwise, our fears can grow and rob us of our peace and our joy in life. We must let go and live. Slowly but surely we do begin to heal and find that life after BC can be even fuller and more rewarding than before BC. That doom-speaking doctor's opinion aside, we should believe, right smack in the middle of treatment, that there is light beyond. That our bodies will heal and that life will once again be sweet and we should also believe that we will make it happen. And it's true that some of us have recurrences, some of us get entirely new cancers or mets, but EVERYONE...CONSISTENTLY, in any one oncology practce??? ARRRGGGHHH!!!! I would have to assume that his documentaion for such a statement must be taken from his own practice? If this is indeed the case for all of HIS patients, then I daresay, I'd not be requiring his services, for treatment, for follow up...not even for my skinned elbow.

    Live life, find peace and as I said, banish negative people from your lives..even if they happen to be your doctor.

    Love,life & laughter,
    Ink
  • Kayla1
    Kayla1 Member Posts: 101
    inkblot said:

    Wanted to get my 2cents
    Wanted to get my 2cents worth in on the issue of "not if it returns, but when". More of a rant, actually. LOL

    I pooh-pooh the very idea of such thinking. The doctor who said such a thing should be told in no uncertain terms that he's full of corn! What an insensitive thing to say. And he is just plain wrong. I know people who had cancers and lived long lives (I consider 27 years, long) and passed of totally unrelated causes. His bedside manner is hopelessly poor.

    I don't buy his statement for one second. And hope that none of you do! Sure it could return. It also could not. We could get a new cancer entirely. We could develop diabetes. We could get MS. We could go blind or lose our hearing. We could suffer a stroke. We could fall overboard on our next cruise, our next plane flight could end in disaster. All manner of things could happen. We could perish in a car accident or be left invalid. I don't worry about my cancer returning anymore than I worry about speeding vehicles and sharp knives in my kitchen. What's the point? If it's going to happen, my worrying obout it will not stop it. I cannot prevent it by being hypervigilant, stressed out about the possibility or overly concerned. I've better things to do. Like live my life to the fullest and take the best care of myself that I can. Because we do not know precisely what causes cancer, we also do not know, with any certainty, what prevents it. There are theories and thoughts and indications that this or that can help prevent it, but none of those are proven certain. I can tell you that I'd never want to have it again. I can tell you how scary it is to experience. I can tell you of the emotional drain of it all. But I can also tell you of the positive things I learned through having cancer. I would have loved to have gained that knowledge in a gentler fashion! But the bottom line remains, I gained certain positives that I did not have before and I'm grateful for them. With all the research being done on the effects of stress on our bodies, could it be possible that living in a constant state of fear could be conducive to not only a cancer returning, but other conditions developing as well?

    I gave up on thinking I could actually "control" what happens to me in life, a long time ago. All I'm really in charge of is how I respond when something does happen. As with most other things, we educate ourselves and do the best we can, take comfort in knowing that we're doing the best job we can of living well. Beyond that, we must let go and LIVE. Put our energies into healing and not into worrying about it coming back. Even if some jerk doctor seems convinced that once we have cancer we are doomed to have it again! We need to love, nurture and care for ourselves, as we would our best friends or our dearest loved ones and treat our whole selves with respect and kindness. As much as possible, banish all negative people and situations from our lives...including doctors like the one whom this topic is about. Accidents, illnesses, injuries, bad news of all manner can happen...but also fun, love, joy, laughter, full hearts and spirits and most importantly, peace. To me, this is truth. We can only love, laugh, cry, roll with the punches, treat every day as the special day that it is and enjoy our lives. Another day to love and be loved. To share and to give. There are NO guarantees about anything in life. None friends. Lightening could strike us. A meteor could fall from the sky and take us out. A crazed robber could come into our home and do us in. Do we not drive because of the possibility of having an accident? Do we keep our children home because we fear something may happen to them? My point is that we take huge risks every single day. Life is fraught with them if we think about it. Even falling in love is a risk, but we all do it anyway. We take many risks every day, don't we? So, shouldn't the risk of a cancer returning fit into the puzzle that is life, in its rightful place...not above every other concern in our lives. Why should one "possibility" make us ill with worry?


    I believe that our emotional healing, post cancer, is one of our biggest challenges and I also say that we can definitely get there. But not with the help of doctors like this one, who deal in fear provoking comments. We do not have a lot of medical and/or scientific support, post treatment, because the medical communities job is to heal our bodies. The rest is up to us. And it does not happen overnight. We must know when we need a boost or some help and get about it.

    We must seek and find proactive, positive ways to rid ourselves of the fears...otherwise, our fears can grow and rob us of our peace and our joy in life. We must let go and live. Slowly but surely we do begin to heal and find that life after BC can be even fuller and more rewarding than before BC. That doom-speaking doctor's opinion aside, we should believe, right smack in the middle of treatment, that there is light beyond. That our bodies will heal and that life will once again be sweet and we should also believe that we will make it happen. And it's true that some of us have recurrences, some of us get entirely new cancers or mets, but EVERYONE...CONSISTENTLY, in any one oncology practce??? ARRRGGGHHH!!!! I would have to assume that his documentaion for such a statement must be taken from his own practice? If this is indeed the case for all of HIS patients, then I daresay, I'd not be requiring his services, for treatment, for follow up...not even for my skinned elbow.

    Live life, find peace and as I said, banish negative people from your lives..even if they happen to be your doctor.

    Love,life & laughter,
    Ink

    Mom62 I am so sorry to hear
    Mom62 I am so sorry to hear your news!
    Thank you inkblot, I needed a reminder of everything you said!

    I have two friends, one my age (40 something), and one in her 70's that have had 3 - 5 different types of cancer. The first think they said to me was:
    Keep a positive mind (you will get thru this), Talk to only positive people (not the ones who question your decisions who do not have a clue or been thru this).
    Most importantly: SMILE, LAUGH, AND ALWAYS REMEMBER DO SOMETHING FUN WHEN YOU ARE FEELING BLUE

    I too am a control freak and find it difficult at times to be positive when it hits me that this is in control not me!

    I concur: FIRE THAT DOCTOR

    Mom62, Love, Hugs, Prayers
    K
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    inkblot said:

    Wanted to get my 2cents
    Wanted to get my 2cents worth in on the issue of "not if it returns, but when". More of a rant, actually. LOL

    I pooh-pooh the very idea of such thinking. The doctor who said such a thing should be told in no uncertain terms that he's full of corn! What an insensitive thing to say. And he is just plain wrong. I know people who had cancers and lived long lives (I consider 27 years, long) and passed of totally unrelated causes. His bedside manner is hopelessly poor.

    I don't buy his statement for one second. And hope that none of you do! Sure it could return. It also could not. We could get a new cancer entirely. We could develop diabetes. We could get MS. We could go blind or lose our hearing. We could suffer a stroke. We could fall overboard on our next cruise, our next plane flight could end in disaster. All manner of things could happen. We could perish in a car accident or be left invalid. I don't worry about my cancer returning anymore than I worry about speeding vehicles and sharp knives in my kitchen. What's the point? If it's going to happen, my worrying obout it will not stop it. I cannot prevent it by being hypervigilant, stressed out about the possibility or overly concerned. I've better things to do. Like live my life to the fullest and take the best care of myself that I can. Because we do not know precisely what causes cancer, we also do not know, with any certainty, what prevents it. There are theories and thoughts and indications that this or that can help prevent it, but none of those are proven certain. I can tell you that I'd never want to have it again. I can tell you how scary it is to experience. I can tell you of the emotional drain of it all. But I can also tell you of the positive things I learned through having cancer. I would have loved to have gained that knowledge in a gentler fashion! But the bottom line remains, I gained certain positives that I did not have before and I'm grateful for them. With all the research being done on the effects of stress on our bodies, could it be possible that living in a constant state of fear could be conducive to not only a cancer returning, but other conditions developing as well?

    I gave up on thinking I could actually "control" what happens to me in life, a long time ago. All I'm really in charge of is how I respond when something does happen. As with most other things, we educate ourselves and do the best we can, take comfort in knowing that we're doing the best job we can of living well. Beyond that, we must let go and LIVE. Put our energies into healing and not into worrying about it coming back. Even if some jerk doctor seems convinced that once we have cancer we are doomed to have it again! We need to love, nurture and care for ourselves, as we would our best friends or our dearest loved ones and treat our whole selves with respect and kindness. As much as possible, banish all negative people and situations from our lives...including doctors like the one whom this topic is about. Accidents, illnesses, injuries, bad news of all manner can happen...but also fun, love, joy, laughter, full hearts and spirits and most importantly, peace. To me, this is truth. We can only love, laugh, cry, roll with the punches, treat every day as the special day that it is and enjoy our lives. Another day to love and be loved. To share and to give. There are NO guarantees about anything in life. None friends. Lightening could strike us. A meteor could fall from the sky and take us out. A crazed robber could come into our home and do us in. Do we not drive because of the possibility of having an accident? Do we keep our children home because we fear something may happen to them? My point is that we take huge risks every single day. Life is fraught with them if we think about it. Even falling in love is a risk, but we all do it anyway. We take many risks every day, don't we? So, shouldn't the risk of a cancer returning fit into the puzzle that is life, in its rightful place...not above every other concern in our lives. Why should one "possibility" make us ill with worry?


    I believe that our emotional healing, post cancer, is one of our biggest challenges and I also say that we can definitely get there. But not with the help of doctors like this one, who deal in fear provoking comments. We do not have a lot of medical and/or scientific support, post treatment, because the medical communities job is to heal our bodies. The rest is up to us. And it does not happen overnight. We must know when we need a boost or some help and get about it.

    We must seek and find proactive, positive ways to rid ourselves of the fears...otherwise, our fears can grow and rob us of our peace and our joy in life. We must let go and live. Slowly but surely we do begin to heal and find that life after BC can be even fuller and more rewarding than before BC. That doom-speaking doctor's opinion aside, we should believe, right smack in the middle of treatment, that there is light beyond. That our bodies will heal and that life will once again be sweet and we should also believe that we will make it happen. And it's true that some of us have recurrences, some of us get entirely new cancers or mets, but EVERYONE...CONSISTENTLY, in any one oncology practce??? ARRRGGGHHH!!!! I would have to assume that his documentaion for such a statement must be taken from his own practice? If this is indeed the case for all of HIS patients, then I daresay, I'd not be requiring his services, for treatment, for follow up...not even for my skinned elbow.

    Live life, find peace and as I said, banish negative people from your lives..even if they happen to be your doctor.

    Love,life & laughter,
    Ink

    Ink... don't hold back, tell
    Ink... don't hold back, tell us how you really feel.. lol.. just kidding... really I truly appreciate everything that you said. We should not endure the journey of this and then live in fear of reoccurance....We should live our lives.. living.. laughing.. and loving..

    You know they say.. "stress causes cancer, and is unhealthy for your bodies".. Ironicly they tell you "you have cancer.. now go home and relax"...lol nothing like hearing.. just makes me want to go home an light candles and enjoy wine with a bubble bath..

    All kidding aside.. Don't live in fear... we know that whatever happens... we have eachother to help us get to the other side.

    ~T
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    taleena said:

    Ink... don't hold back, tell
    Ink... don't hold back, tell us how you really feel.. lol.. just kidding... really I truly appreciate everything that you said. We should not endure the journey of this and then live in fear of reoccurance....We should live our lives.. living.. laughing.. and loving..

    You know they say.. "stress causes cancer, and is unhealthy for your bodies".. Ironicly they tell you "you have cancer.. now go home and relax"...lol nothing like hearing.. just makes me want to go home an light candles and enjoy wine with a bubble bath..

    All kidding aside.. Don't live in fear... we know that whatever happens... we have eachother to help us get to the other side.

    ~T

    I hope that Mom will post
    I hope that Mom will post and let us know how she is doing. I can't imagine hearing those

    words again, but, just from reading RE and Jeanne's posts, if it were to happen, I know I

    could get thru it. Cancer does not define us, it does not rule our lives. WE own our

    lives! And, since I fought it once and won, I know I could do it again. But, hopefully,

    that won't be tested! Good health to all of you! Hugs, Kristin
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    mom62 said:

    I have been on tamoxafin
    I have been on tamoxafin since I got off chemo. I guess it doesn't work for me. They are going to do radiation and I'm getting shots to shut down my ovaries. I didn't have radiation after my first bout with bc so they are using it now. My oncologist doesn't think I'll need chemo. My first bc was er+. Thanks for your thoughts.

    Terry

    That is scary that you were
    That is scary that you were on Tamoxifen and it came back. I am so sorry! Thank you for posting this! Good luck Terry!
  • cruf
    cruf Member Posts: 908
    inkblot said:

    Wanted to get my 2cents
    Wanted to get my 2cents worth in on the issue of "not if it returns, but when". More of a rant, actually. LOL

    I pooh-pooh the very idea of such thinking. The doctor who said such a thing should be told in no uncertain terms that he's full of corn! What an insensitive thing to say. And he is just plain wrong. I know people who had cancers and lived long lives (I consider 27 years, long) and passed of totally unrelated causes. His bedside manner is hopelessly poor.

    I don't buy his statement for one second. And hope that none of you do! Sure it could return. It also could not. We could get a new cancer entirely. We could develop diabetes. We could get MS. We could go blind or lose our hearing. We could suffer a stroke. We could fall overboard on our next cruise, our next plane flight could end in disaster. All manner of things could happen. We could perish in a car accident or be left invalid. I don't worry about my cancer returning anymore than I worry about speeding vehicles and sharp knives in my kitchen. What's the point? If it's going to happen, my worrying obout it will not stop it. I cannot prevent it by being hypervigilant, stressed out about the possibility or overly concerned. I've better things to do. Like live my life to the fullest and take the best care of myself that I can. Because we do not know precisely what causes cancer, we also do not know, with any certainty, what prevents it. There are theories and thoughts and indications that this or that can help prevent it, but none of those are proven certain. I can tell you that I'd never want to have it again. I can tell you how scary it is to experience. I can tell you of the emotional drain of it all. But I can also tell you of the positive things I learned through having cancer. I would have loved to have gained that knowledge in a gentler fashion! But the bottom line remains, I gained certain positives that I did not have before and I'm grateful for them. With all the research being done on the effects of stress on our bodies, could it be possible that living in a constant state of fear could be conducive to not only a cancer returning, but other conditions developing as well?

    I gave up on thinking I could actually "control" what happens to me in life, a long time ago. All I'm really in charge of is how I respond when something does happen. As with most other things, we educate ourselves and do the best we can, take comfort in knowing that we're doing the best job we can of living well. Beyond that, we must let go and LIVE. Put our energies into healing and not into worrying about it coming back. Even if some jerk doctor seems convinced that once we have cancer we are doomed to have it again! We need to love, nurture and care for ourselves, as we would our best friends or our dearest loved ones and treat our whole selves with respect and kindness. As much as possible, banish all negative people and situations from our lives...including doctors like the one whom this topic is about. Accidents, illnesses, injuries, bad news of all manner can happen...but also fun, love, joy, laughter, full hearts and spirits and most importantly, peace. To me, this is truth. We can only love, laugh, cry, roll with the punches, treat every day as the special day that it is and enjoy our lives. Another day to love and be loved. To share and to give. There are NO guarantees about anything in life. None friends. Lightening could strike us. A meteor could fall from the sky and take us out. A crazed robber could come into our home and do us in. Do we not drive because of the possibility of having an accident? Do we keep our children home because we fear something may happen to them? My point is that we take huge risks every single day. Life is fraught with them if we think about it. Even falling in love is a risk, but we all do it anyway. We take many risks every day, don't we? So, shouldn't the risk of a cancer returning fit into the puzzle that is life, in its rightful place...not above every other concern in our lives. Why should one "possibility" make us ill with worry?


    I believe that our emotional healing, post cancer, is one of our biggest challenges and I also say that we can definitely get there. But not with the help of doctors like this one, who deal in fear provoking comments. We do not have a lot of medical and/or scientific support, post treatment, because the medical communities job is to heal our bodies. The rest is up to us. And it does not happen overnight. We must know when we need a boost or some help and get about it.

    We must seek and find proactive, positive ways to rid ourselves of the fears...otherwise, our fears can grow and rob us of our peace and our joy in life. We must let go and live. Slowly but surely we do begin to heal and find that life after BC can be even fuller and more rewarding than before BC. That doom-speaking doctor's opinion aside, we should believe, right smack in the middle of treatment, that there is light beyond. That our bodies will heal and that life will once again be sweet and we should also believe that we will make it happen. And it's true that some of us have recurrences, some of us get entirely new cancers or mets, but EVERYONE...CONSISTENTLY, in any one oncology practce??? ARRRGGGHHH!!!! I would have to assume that his documentaion for such a statement must be taken from his own practice? If this is indeed the case for all of HIS patients, then I daresay, I'd not be requiring his services, for treatment, for follow up...not even for my skinned elbow.

    Live life, find peace and as I said, banish negative people from your lives..even if they happen to be your doctor.

    Love,life & laughter,
    Ink

    Welcome back Ink!
    Welcome back Ink! It's so good to see you posting. It's been a long time. I've missed your posts! Hope you're well!! HUGS!! Cathy