Surgery June 11

Butterfly12
Butterfly12 Member Posts: 56
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I know that I have posted before about my surgery date, but as it gets closer, I find myself crying more and get scared as ****. I am having a mastectomy with the back flap reconstruction and expander. My sister tried "retail" therapy the other day and it worked until I got home and put the shirt on and realized that I won't have a breast to put in it and I started crying all over again. I can't seem to stop. I am scared that I will be in alot of pain, morphine/dilulid makes me vomit, so those are not a option. God help me, I don't know what to do.

Sherry
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Comments

  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #2
    Hi Sherry. I am so sorry
    Hi Sherry. I am so sorry that you are crying and feeling bad. I had a lumpectomy, so, I can't comment on the feelings of having a mastectomy. I have no idea of what it would be like. But, I will pray for you and hope that you feel better and that the fear you have will go away. Please feel better Sherry and good luck with your surgery.
  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #3
    Normal
    I think that being scared to death is a normal reaction. Try to fake your way thru the next 8 days. Meditate, read, hot baths, whatever helps you. I'm sorry you are having these feelings. What do you usually do for pain control? Have you tried acupuncture or hypnosis?

    Maureen
  • Butterfly12
    Butterfly12 Member Posts: 56
    #4
    EveningStar2 said:

    Normal
    I think that being scared to death is a normal reaction. Try to fake your way thru the next 8 days. Meditate, read, hot baths, whatever helps you. I'm sorry you are having these feelings. What do you usually do for pain control? Have you tried acupuncture or hypnosis?

    Maureen

    Pain Control
    If it's bad enough, I take the morphine and puke my guts out :) Otherwise my doc has tried, darvocet, and that wasn't too bad.
  • confused123
    confused123 Member Posts: 251
    #5
    Butterfly12 said:

    Pain Control
    If it's bad enough, I take the morphine and puke my guts out :) Otherwise my doc has tried, darvocet, and that wasn't too bad.

    I am sorry to hear you are
    I am sorry to hear you are so scared. I had the double mastectomy and was only on the morphine 24hours and did not take anything other than extra strentgh Tylenol because the pain killers make me sick. I was in pain but it wasn't to bad and over before you know it. I thought I would mind being breastless also but it did not bother me as much as I thought it would. My tissue expanders were filled weekly so there was something there quickly. I got a mastectomy tank top that held the drains after surgery and also came with padding on each side that you could take out and put in as you need and also could make smaller or bigger by taking out the isides or adding more. I am deflated now on the right side and use the padding inside a sports bra so I am symmetrical. Maybe you could get one of those tank tops to help until you are filled.
  • mmontero38
    mmontero38 Member Posts: 1,510
    #6
    Sherry, are you able to
    Sherry, are you able to tolerate Flexerall? It is a muscle relaxer and it helped me tremendously when I had the tram flap. It prevented the muscle from spasm which is half the battle. I'm sending you cyber hugs. Love ya, Lili
  • Butterfly12
    Butterfly12 Member Posts: 56
    #7
    confused123 said:

    I am sorry to hear you are
    I am sorry to hear you are so scared. I had the double mastectomy and was only on the morphine 24hours and did not take anything other than extra strentgh Tylenol because the pain killers make me sick. I was in pain but it wasn't to bad and over before you know it. I thought I would mind being breastless also but it did not bother me as much as I thought it would. My tissue expanders were filled weekly so there was something there quickly. I got a mastectomy tank top that held the drains after surgery and also came with padding on each side that you could take out and put in as you need and also could make smaller or bigger by taking out the isides or adding more. I am deflated now on the right side and use the padding inside a sports bra so I am symmetrical. Maybe you could get one of those tank tops to help until you are filled.

    Help
    I went and got that exact same tank top yesterday, and I am hoping that that will help me as far as appearance wise.
  • Butterfly12
    Butterfly12 Member Posts: 56
    #8
    mmontero38 said:

    Sherry, are you able to
    Sherry, are you able to tolerate Flexerall? It is a muscle relaxer and it helped me tremendously when I had the tram flap. It prevented the muscle from spasm which is half the battle. I'm sending you cyber hugs. Love ya, Lili

    Lili
    Yes I actually had Flexerall when I sprained my back last summer. I will talk to my surgeon about that and thanks for the hugs, right back at ya :)
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #9
    Butterfly12 said:

    Lili
    Yes I actually had Flexerall when I sprained my back last summer. I will talk to my surgeon about that and thanks for the hugs, right back at ya :)

    Just wanting to wish you
    Just wanting to wish you good luck Butterfly! I hope your anxiety eases and you feel better soon.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143 Member
    #10
    Sherry, I am sorry you are
    Sherry, I am sorry you are anxious about surgery. Very normal and expected reaction. I had a lumpectomy and the pain was not bad, but I can't speak for mastectomy pain. I have heard people say, however, that it wasn't as painful as they thought it would be. I know you are scared, but I hope the fact that the pain will pass and you will be better comforts you somewhat. This is a scary part of the journey, but you will get through it. I second the suggesion for distractions and pampering this week.
  • Yihong
    Yihong Member Posts: 6
    #11
    Please find this book "Living Through Breast Cancer"
    I had breast surgery last May, and went through all the treatments (Chemo, radiation), then I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer on Nov. I had thyroid surgery on Dec. I went through another radiation for my thyroid treatment this Feb. I have two kids (8 and 13 year old). I cry a lot before, but now I am getting better.

    The book “Living through Breast Cancer” is really helpful, I just found that at our local library last week. The author Dr. Kaelin is a top breast surgeon and a breast cancer survivor. You will get lots of useful information there. I wish I read this book earlier.

    Best Regards and you will be fine!
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    #12
    Yihong said:

    Please find this book "Living Through Breast Cancer"
    I had breast surgery last May, and went through all the treatments (Chemo, radiation), then I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer on Nov. I had thyroid surgery on Dec. I went through another radiation for my thyroid treatment this Feb. I have two kids (8 and 13 year old). I cry a lot before, but now I am getting better.

    The book “Living through Breast Cancer” is really helpful, I just found that at our local library last week. The author Dr. Kaelin is a top breast surgeon and a breast cancer survivor. You will get lots of useful information there. I wish I read this book earlier.

    Best Regards and you will be fine!

    Morphine
    Maybe you are actually allergic to Morphine. When I had morphine for thyroid surgery the doctor gave me morphine in the hospital and I didn't just puke --mine was projectile vomit--sorry for being so graphic( thank god I have not figured out how to do those picture inserts. I have it marked in all of my medical charts not to give me morphine.

    I can't comment about the flap surgery. I had a double mastectomy with tissue expanders inserted at the time of surgery.

    Best of luck,
    Margo
  • GreeneyedGirl
    GreeneyedGirl Member Posts: 1,077
    #13
    tommaseena said:

    Morphine
    Maybe you are actually allergic to Morphine. When I had morphine for thyroid surgery the doctor gave me morphine in the hospital and I didn't just puke --mine was projectile vomit--sorry for being so graphic( thank god I have not figured out how to do those picture inserts. I have it marked in all of my medical charts not to give me morphine.

    I can't comment about the flap surgery. I had a double mastectomy with tissue expanders inserted at the time of surgery.

    Best of luck,
    Margo

    Not that much pain
    Sherry I too was scared of the lat flap, but I had very little discomfort. That was last Oct. I am having the expander removed tomorrow and a saline implant put in~final stages for me. I am excited, and I encourage you to express to your doctor your pain management for after the surgery. I took mine regularly but really did not need it, so only took it at night to ensure good rest. And you get a morphine pump in the hospital, so you are well taken care of. I am going to be out for several days due to surgery so won't be able to get back to you if you have other q's??? for me.
    I wish you the best, and let the tears flow, cuz it feels good afterwards (chemically it does something to us :)
    Melanie
  • Butterfly12
    Butterfly12 Member Posts: 56
    #14
    GreeneyedGirl said:

    Not that much pain
    Sherry I too was scared of the lat flap, but I had very little discomfort. That was last Oct. I am having the expander removed tomorrow and a saline implant put in~final stages for me. I am excited, and I encourage you to express to your doctor your pain management for after the surgery. I took mine regularly but really did not need it, so only took it at night to ensure good rest. And you get a morphine pump in the hospital, so you are well taken care of. I am going to be out for several days due to surgery so won't be able to get back to you if you have other q's??? for me.
    I wish you the best, and let the tears flow, cuz it feels good afterwards (chemically it does something to us :)
    Melanie

    Melanie
    Thank you for putting my mind at ease. Did you have to have chemo after your surgery?

    Sherry
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #15
    Butterfly12 said:

    Melanie
    Thank you for putting my mind at ease. Did you have to have chemo after your surgery?

    Sherry

    Buterfly
    I have nothing to add, Just came in to wish you the best of luck, least of pain and deliver a huge hug.....we'll all be with you. Jxxxxxx
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #16
    Sherry.......
    Being so scared and upset is normal, but I'm so sorry that you have to go throough this.

    I had mastectomy, but did not have reconstruction. I took Lortab for pain, and they worked for me.

    Make sure your Dr. knows about your reaction to certain pain meds. There are many others out there that they can use.

    Great BIG HUGS to you,
    CR
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    #17
    Sherry, Butterfly12
    Of course fear, stress and anxiety increase as the surgery date gets closer. When you feel like crying, just cry. It's OK.

    Please don't be afraid of too much pain before it even happens. Have a thorough discussion with your doctor(s) about pain management, and your past reactions to certain drugs, etc. There are many, many options available. If one doesn't work, you'll try another.

    Take a few deep breaths, TRY to relax - though I know it's difficult. June 11 isn't that far away; yet, it's several days from now. You'll make it. And we'll be here for you.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #18
    Sherry
    Being scared is perfectly normal as everyone here has said. And, trust me, we have all

    cried. You have a lot on your plate right now and your emotions are right at the surface.

    Just talk with your doctors, talk with a support group, contact other woman in your area

    that have had similiar surgery or just plain had breast cancer. The local ACS can help you

    with that or your own oncologist probably. And, about the pain, can you take Vicadin? (

    spelling ) Just ask your doctor. He is the one who can help you the most inre to pain

    control. I wish you all the best Sherry!
  • phoenixrising
    phoenixrising Member Posts: 1,508
    #19
    Sherry, I didn't have
    Sherry, I didn't have reconstruction but I have had a mastectomy and it was not half as painful as I had thought it would be. They gave me Tylenol #3's for the pain and other than constipation, they worked fine. Your emotional state is SO normal. I actually had a melt down on the operating table. Just totally lost it! Still couldn't believe it was happening.
    But anyways, here I am, on the other side (finally) and telling you that you'll be alright.
    Yes, it is quite an adjustment and mourning the lost of your breast is normal as well, but you like the rest of us will get through it and come out on the other side. We do wish you well. Keep in touch.
    hugs
    jan
  • confused123
    confused123 Member Posts: 251
    #20
    Butterfly12 said:

    Melanie
    Thank you for putting my mind at ease. Did you have to have chemo after your surgery?

    Sherry

    Hey Sherry I had chemo after
    Hey Sherry I had chemo after my mastectomy. I can answer some questions for you if you want but get yourself through the surgery next week, take one step at a time. It gets better and goes by faster than you think. Stay positive. I kept telling myself loosing a breast is better than loosing my life! There is a great liitle book out there called "Hope" that I found great. It is short, you can start on any page, it is inspiring, sad and funny. I got it at my oncologist office.
    Good Luck next week! You can do it!

    Kim
  • confused123
    confused123 Member Posts: 251
    #21
    phoenixrising said:

    Sherry, I didn't have
    Sherry, I didn't have reconstruction but I have had a mastectomy and it was not half as painful as I had thought it would be. They gave me Tylenol #3's for the pain and other than constipation, they worked fine. Your emotional state is SO normal. I actually had a melt down on the operating table. Just totally lost it! Still couldn't believe it was happening.
    But anyways, here I am, on the other side (finally) and telling you that you'll be alright.
    Yes, it is quite an adjustment and mourning the lost of your breast is normal as well, but you like the rest of us will get through it and come out on the other side. We do wish you well. Keep in touch.
    hugs
    jan

    Good Luck
    Good Luck with your surgery tomorrow. Hope all goes well.
    Kim

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