Alone again...and sad
Comments
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Today is better!GreeneyedGirl said:I feel your "pain"
Debi~ I cry (every time) after my sister leaves to go to the airport after caring for me. Last Oct I had a friend sit with me so I wouldn't be so sad when she left. She is coming in 2 weeks as I go in for the final phase of recons. surgery. Having her here while I go thru treatments and surgery has been so valuable to me (4 so far). I would encourage the pain meds to rest at night. It will help to tune out the puppies cries too! I always "gear up" for surgery--making my nest (bed) all cozy, getting stocked up on movies, juices and little snacks that I can enjoy while I rest. And always ask for lots of prayer for the process. We are here to listen, write, and encourage!
Melanie
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi0 -
You are special!bfbear said:Today is better!
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi
And yes we are proud of you for reaching out and asking for help. It's not easy, but you did it! LOL about the dog sitter. Hey, $18 an hour to take care of dog and human is pretty darn good. Sleep tight.
Mimi0 -
So happy.........bfbear said:Today is better!
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi
I'm so happy that things are better for you today Debi! And I am very proud of you for asking friends for help! Way to go!
Take care, dear girl, and feel better soon!
Hugs,
CR0 -
Yep, I'll echo Mimi - You are Special, dear Debi/bfbear!bfbear said:Today is better!
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi
So, so glad today has been a better day for you! I was truly hoping it would be! :-)
Wow, I'm again impressed by your husband's decision to find in-home help - sounds to me as if Cindi was meant to come into your life! A fellow survivor - it was fate! Debi, if you can afford her - don't put a price on your recovery and your future health. Remind yourself - it's ALL temporary!
Naps are like magic medicine. Hope you can make a habit of them, at least for the next few weeks.
Kind regards, Susan
P.S.: Also, like CR, am very proud of you for actually asking your friends for dinners! Way to go! And, see? They're glad to oblige, I bet.0 -
:-)bfbear said:Today is better!
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi
I can hear the spring in your voice just reading your message, how wonderful I am so glad things look better for you today. How nice that your new friend Cindi is willing to charge less and that you have two friends who want to cook for you! You truly are blessed and quite obviously a special gal. Hope you enjoyed your nap!
RE0 -
I'll bring the cheese....ROFL!!!
I was told I was the BEST pity party planner on the planet!!!
Don't be so hard on yourself, in fact, YOU need to be YOUR OWN best friend!!!! Treat your body well. Allow yourself to feel sad and mad. It's ok!
I always indulged in my parties for 24 hours, then, it was over...I even warned everyone before I started into one. I felt like the female equivalent of Job...so very, very, very much, all at the same time.
Sending BIG hugs to you!
Hugs, Kathi0 -
Hope you're better todaybfbear said:Today is better!
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi
Hope you're better today Debi. It's overwhelming when we are tired. Try to rest whenever you can and take little cat naps in the afternoon. Hugs, Lili0 -
Better Days and Nightsbfbear said:Today is better!
Hi all you incredible warrior women,
Today has been better. I have had to do a lot (daughter to school, dog walking, go to daughter's school presentation, get a few things at the grocery and drugstore, and pick up daughter later) but at the moment I am lying down writing this while my puppy/dog sitter, Cindi, is out on a walk with the canine companions. Since being here, Cindi has said she'd charge less than $18...she thought she was going to have to take care of ME too!!! Ha, ha...although I guess she is by proxy. I don't know how much less, but I'm staying hopeful. She's a 9 yr. BC survivor too, so maybe she's taking pity on me!
I also asked two friends for a dinner each.(Aren't you all proud of me??) One is bringing a casserole over tonight, and the other will make a lasagna for us later this week(and he's a reallllly good cook). Since Xiaoxiao gave her presentation today, that's one less thing we have to work on this evening. So things are looking better.
However, this is the time I'm supposed to take a nap, and since I'm kind of sore andtired, that's probably a good idea.
Thanks to all of you for your continued, unbelievable incredible support. I LOVE YOU ALL! Reading your posts truly makes me feel very, very special, and I think all of YOU are VERY,VERY special indeed.
Nighty night for now,
Debi
Debi, I am a little late in reading/posting to you. But I also am so glad that today was more manageable. I am hoping that your evening and night are much better as well.
I can't add anything to the excellent suggestions given already. Jadie, CR, and Marcia all had great ideas for Willow. We crated Eefy, and the fenced backyard helps. I think that having her crate in the bedroom with you is a good idea; it will help her bond with you, and she many not cry because she is with you. Another suggestion is to have some favorite toy in the crate with her. And, a Kong toy filled with dog food or treats or peanut butter will distract her for awhile.
And I am proud of you for asking for what you need. That is hard, I know, but you did it. Hope you are taking needed meds and feeling less pain. I will continue thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way, dear Debi.0 -
The pity party !
As you can see in the picture, we also have a lot to take care of ! 12 total.
And of course the wild racoon ( masked bandit ) ( Rocky ), and the wild possum (Pretty girl ), that comes for dinner every night ! I ( Tom ), Loni's husband take care of all of the above when she is not feeling so well, and of course every other time as well !
I once captured the racoon when Loni and I got married 6 years ago May 17th, and took him away 1/2 mile and let him loose. next night he was back !
It was then I found out that Loni was mad for me doing that, so now I feed him like all our cat's, and have excepted him as one of my responcability's and can't wait for him to come to dinner !
Life is what you make of it, and now I'm Dad to a racoon and possum ! Who knew that was comming !0 -
thought I posted here...bfbear said:Thank you for listening...
and all your good advice.
Although we got a crate before we brought her home, and Willow's been sleeping in it at night, I haven't been able to leave her for more than 5 minutes and listen to her pitiful crying. One of the first days after surgery, when I went in for a check up, we left her in the crate for 3 hours, I was too out of it to remember that they need to get used to it a little at a time, and she seemed so traumatized when we returned that I haven't been able to shut her in it again except at night... You have given me new resolve.
The crate was out in the family room until last night, and Rich was sleeping on the couch keeping her company and making sure she didn't have to go out in the middle of the night. (God bless him). Last night he moved the crate into our bedroom so he could sleep in our bed again. They did fine, but my discomfort, and inability to sleep on my side or stomach, keeps me pretty restless at night and I was worried about disturbing them!! Maybe I'll go sleep on the couch tonight!!
Perhaps, instead of posting needs on the front door, I should send out an email to all those people who have said they wanted to help... I'll put that on my list for tomorrow.
I'm gonna try to get some rest...
Thanks for all your outpourings of love and support (yet again!!!). I don't know what I'd do without you.
Love you,
Debi
Sorry, looking for my post and it ain't there. So sorry you were feeling bad, but I see that all these wonderful girls rallied around you as good friends do.
Glad you are feeling better now, but keep resting and keep smiling!
=^..^=0 -
Another daytasha_111 said:WHAT!??????????
18$ an hour? What the hecks going on?....Is She walking him , or training him to be a Lawyer? FFS! Way out of line!...
Hugs J.........PS....Don't pay that for a dog walker....Bugger That!
Well, friends, today was sad again. Some of that is due to this being the 20th anniversary of my Mom's death.
But I am having problems with pain management that I'm going to talk to the doc about tomorrow. That combined with sleep difficulties is taking its toll, even with help. I'm feeling pretty pathetic, sad to admit.
The dog-sitter is only $10/hr. now. Well worth the time off to lie down and or take a shower.
I'll tell you, though, that not planning and having to cook dinner is wonderful. The dog crate is in our bedroom, and Willow is sleeping through the night. With extreme vigilance, we have not had any accidents in two days (knock wood).
Hugs to all,
Debi0 -
Some good news, some not so good...bfbear said:Another day
Well, friends, today was sad again. Some of that is due to this being the 20th anniversary of my Mom's death.
But I am having problems with pain management that I'm going to talk to the doc about tomorrow. That combined with sleep difficulties is taking its toll, even with help. I'm feeling pretty pathetic, sad to admit.
The dog-sitter is only $10/hr. now. Well worth the time off to lie down and or take a shower.
I'll tell you, though, that not planning and having to cook dinner is wonderful. The dog crate is in our bedroom, and Willow is sleeping through the night. With extreme vigilance, we have not had any accidents in two days (knock wood).
Hugs to all,
Debi
An anniversary like today would be sentimental and sad even if not recovering from surgery. Add those related complications, no wonder not such a good day, dear Debi. So sorry.
Damn roller coaster!
I'll be hoping your doctor can provide the pain relief you need. Best wishes for that.
Reminder: This coming Monday is the Memorial Day Holiday. I just realized this today, 'cuz it's kinda earlier than usual. The point being, it's a day off from work for most people. So, I'll also be hoping that your friends and neighbors will continue to be of help, in whatever manner.
Kind regards, Susan
P.S.: Yeah, $10/hour, not bad...0 -
GOOD GRIEF!!bfbear said:Another day
Well, friends, today was sad again. Some of that is due to this being the 20th anniversary of my Mom's death.
But I am having problems with pain management that I'm going to talk to the doc about tomorrow. That combined with sleep difficulties is taking its toll, even with help. I'm feeling pretty pathetic, sad to admit.
The dog-sitter is only $10/hr. now. Well worth the time off to lie down and or take a shower.
I'll tell you, though, that not planning and having to cook dinner is wonderful. The dog crate is in our bedroom, and Willow is sleeping through the night. With extreme vigilance, we have not had any accidents in two days (knock wood).
Hugs to all,
Debi
In these days and times you would think that pain management would be just that...pain management!!!! Please do call your dr. Be strong and insisit that what you are going through is unacceptable....i'll bet if it was happening to him/her, they wouldn't be suffering like you are!!! Enough is enough!!!
The puppy situation has to make me laugh tho....right when all this started, i got a wild idea that a new kitten added to my already existing two cats would keep the house alive...since i live alone, i thought that might be a good idea.....WHAT WAS I THINKING??? this kitten, is very lucky that he adorable. It's not his fault that he has been renamed three times because my chemo brain couldn't remember the name i had given him lol....so a little confusion there...but he is a major escape artist. The other day he was under my neighbors fence ( i live in a cottage complex), and there i was, in my pj's, bald fat, and barefoot, laying on my stomach, reaching under the fence calling that stupid cat. A car stopped and said...um, miss...are you ok? LOL LOL LOL i can only imagine what i looked like! And now each morning as i'm leaving for work, he STREAKS out the door between my feet, causing me to be late for work chasing him down...THAT is not going to continue even if i have to tie his feet together! LOL
So..i share your pain...after chemo, for about 5 days, i don't let them out on the patio...i just don't have the energy to watch them that closely in case george decides he wants to try and escape again........however...last night, he showed me that he has learned how to slide open the sliding screen door......oy vey!
Power to you my sister.....i truly hope the dr will be able to help you!0 -
I hope.....bfbear said:Another day
Well, friends, today was sad again. Some of that is due to this being the 20th anniversary of my Mom's death.
But I am having problems with pain management that I'm going to talk to the doc about tomorrow. That combined with sleep difficulties is taking its toll, even with help. I'm feeling pretty pathetic, sad to admit.
The dog-sitter is only $10/hr. now. Well worth the time off to lie down and or take a shower.
I'll tell you, though, that not planning and having to cook dinner is wonderful. The dog crate is in our bedroom, and Willow is sleeping through the night. With extreme vigilance, we have not had any accidents in two days (knock wood).
Hugs to all,
Debi
I hope that the doctor was able to resolve your pain issues Debi. Yep, pain and lack of sleep combine to make the perfect storm when it comes to feeling sad and just plain miserable. I really hope that you feel better soon.
Yay for Willow! Good girl!
Hang in there Debi! Things will improve and you will be able to look back on this time and know just how strong and awesome you really are!!
CR0 -
All of your support...CR1954 said:I hope.....
I hope that the doctor was able to resolve your pain issues Debi. Yep, pain and lack of sleep combine to make the perfect storm when it comes to feeling sad and just plain miserable. I really hope that you feel better soon.
Yay for Willow! Good girl!
Hang in there Debi! Things will improve and you will be able to look back on this time and know just how strong and awesome you really are!!
CR
is awesome, but I got an extra good laugh from j916's visual of trying to retrieve her kitten from the neighbor's yard and someone stopping to ask if they could help!
I am definitely going to try to take it easier this weekend and take more pain meds since I won;t have to drive at all.
Last night I woke up and had actually turned onto my stomach (!!!) Needless to say, pain woke me up and the rest of the night my dreams were about my "breasts" (I feel weird even calling them breasts, since they are totally false...anyone else feel like that??) and pain.
But today is spectacular, I have a great view of the Swan Mountains from our living room, and pain or not, life is still good.
Love you all, and thanks for continued patience in listening to my trials in recovery. You are all THE BEST women in the world!
XOX,
Debi0 -
Taking it Easybfbear said:All of your support...
is awesome, but I got an extra good laugh from j916's visual of trying to retrieve her kitten from the neighbor's yard and someone stopping to ask if they could help!
I am definitely going to try to take it easier this weekend and take more pain meds since I won;t have to drive at all.
Last night I woke up and had actually turned onto my stomach (!!!) Needless to say, pain woke me up and the rest of the night my dreams were about my "breasts" (I feel weird even calling them breasts, since they are totally false...anyone else feel like that??) and pain.
But today is spectacular, I have a great view of the Swan Mountains from our living room, and pain or not, life is still good.
Love you all, and thanks for continued patience in listening to my trials in recovery. You are all THE BEST women in the world!
XOX,
Debi
Hi, Debi, glad you are taking it easier this weekend and able to take more pain meds. Thank you for keeping in touch. We all love our Debi bear and want to know how you are doing.
Wish I could see those mountains with you. Have a safe and pain-free weekend and holiday,Ok?0 -
Debibfbear said:All of your support...
is awesome, but I got an extra good laugh from j916's visual of trying to retrieve her kitten from the neighbor's yard and someone stopping to ask if they could help!
I am definitely going to try to take it easier this weekend and take more pain meds since I won;t have to drive at all.
Last night I woke up and had actually turned onto my stomach (!!!) Needless to say, pain woke me up and the rest of the night my dreams were about my "breasts" (I feel weird even calling them breasts, since they are totally false...anyone else feel like that??) and pain.
But today is spectacular, I have a great view of the Swan Mountains from our living room, and pain or not, life is still good.
Love you all, and thanks for continued patience in listening to my trials in recovery. You are all THE BEST women in the world!
XOX,
Debi
Day by Day it will get better. The pain anyway, and you will adjust. I am sorry you have had bad days. The swan Mountains..how majestic! I wish you all the best with your recovery and of course with the new puppy! hugs, Jackie0
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