Good Thing I didn't take an actual vow of silence!!!!!

chenheart
chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Okay everyone~ I said I wasn't going to post, but you all are forcing me into it!

As I previously stated, I have been a member of CSN since 2003; a long time to be communing with us cancer-types! LOL

A few years ago, I, along with a good dozen others, was duped into believing a circumstance much like the one we are experiencing here now. Truth be told, it devastaed some into not being part of CSN anymore. My faith was shaken much as yours is now with the less than honest revelations of a certain poster. Those who are not shaken are at the very least confused, and others angered at the time and energy they believe is being wasted on what was not true...

NONE of your time and energy has been wasted!!!! What makes us unique and special,loved and admired is our compassion, empathy and a genuine heartfelt connection to those we meet on the boards. None of that has changed! If anything, it all the more proves what amazing women you are. Your hearts are so full of love that you had room for a young, frightened stranger while you were fighting your own cancer battle. What an incredible tribute to all of you!

If our words were not actually going to a "real" person, if the intended responses we gave were not going to the one we designed them for, know this: Your words helped heal others! Have you not felt encouraged when reading about Jackie finishing treatment? or Mimi going to Puerto Rico to celebrate her end of treatment? Or Moopy's on-going reciprocal love-affair with her darling Aortus? Did we not at first feel fear and sadness at Hans' heart-failure, and then elation each time KathiM posted about his progress? Did we not smile at Ohilly FINALLY having hair??? These posts may not have been written to us or about us, but didn't each triumph make us stronger and connect us in important ways?

you have led with your hearts...with nothing to be ashamed of. And I dare say, we would do it all over again. At the proverbial end of the day, we wake up every day being us~ step back and think of just who that person is, and smile at yourself. You deserve it.

Be Stronger Than, Not Angry At


Hugs,
Claudia
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Comments

  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Claudia..
    As usual, you are right. I'm still shocked and angry over it because of the day I spent in tears and prayer over a young, vibrant girl who was going through all of that. And I resent the fact that I ended up Xanax-ing myself into oblivion last night, just to forget about it and get some rest. And I deplore that my heart sank this morning when I read that the girl had died..and then the tears again.

    But in the end, I know that I will still be here, be myself, asking for help and advice. And giving when I can. I will be a bit more cynical and not quite so trusting, at least for awhile.

    But this board and all of you who are here, have helped to preserve my sanity, my hope, and my will to fight and survive!

    So, I'll be here.

    Hugs to you!
    CR
  • creampuff91344
    creampuff91344 Member Posts: 988
    It would be such a shame to
    It would be such a shame to lose the love and support of all of the true to heart posters on this board because of the selfishness of one individual who thought it would be fun to prey on the sympathies of others. Chen, I read your post where you said you would be taking a sabitical from the board, and hope that this does not happen. Your posts have given me such hope at times when I really needed to just feel close to someone who has been there. This goes for all of you out there who are truly trying to make a difference in the lives of so many. I had strong doubts when the posts started coming from Kourtnee this past week, but just followed the postings to hopefully be of some support to her. What a shame it would have been if my doubts kept me from trying to reach out to her, and she really was in need. We have learned a lesson, but hopefully have not lost the hope and support this board brings to so many. I have taken a step back, examined the situation carefully, and have chosen to continue being there for fear there may be just one person who needs to hear my words of wisdom (as remote as that might be), and will benefit from them. Shame on those who cast doubts into a circle of friends who depend on each other to keep up the spirit. I am sending my best wishes to those who need uplifting, and to those who will send their best wishes my way. Hugs.

    Judy
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    OK, your post made me cry...
    How wise you are, Claudia. Now I feel even worse about not having the opportunity to get to know you better, since I just got here & you're leaving us.

    After the painful roller coast of emotions today has brought - I'm feeling OK now, for the first time.

    Scam be damned!

    You are absolutely correct. This horrendous situation brought out to light quite clearly the biggest of hearts, the most giving of souls. Thank you, so very much, for helping me to see it all that way. All of my negative feelings have been released, thrown away.

    It's over & done now. I don't/won't look back, only forward.

    Thanks, again. Hopes & prayers your way.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    Be Stronger Than, Not Angry At
    Ya know Claudia as many times as I have read those words when you wrote them , the meaning of them just hit me. I was confused and then angered. I am putting it behind me now and moving on. Thank you.

    Jadie
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    I agree and will still be
    I agree and will still be here.

    Even though I usually don't say much.
  • mimivac
    mimivac Member Posts: 2,143
    Well said!
    Yes, you are right of course. We have just shown what a compassionate bunch we are. I have no doubt that "Kourtnee" whoever she is needed our support whether she was a cancer survivor or not. I love how we all give our hearts freely here. It is the best thing about this group. And you are right that the compassion we give to others helps all of us. Here's to being stronger for this experience.

    Mimi
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    I knew that we were both
    I knew that we were both California girls but perhaps you are not long lost sister. I posted something so similar on another thread. You are so right in all this. You will be so missed while you take some me time but that is so important also. I have said before and I'll say it again, I worship at the feet of the 50 ft woman.
    Stef
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    .
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  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    fauxma said:

    I knew that we were both
    I knew that we were both California girls but perhaps you are not long lost sister. I posted something so similar on another thread. You are so right in all this. You will be so missed while you take some me time but that is so important also. I have said before and I'll say it again, I worship at the feet of the 50 ft woman.
    Stef

    We Rock!
    Your responses to my post prove me right~ we are incredible! I smile as I say that and I am honored as always to be surrounded by your energy!

    And fauxma...tell me where you are again! I am in Santa Ynez, 30 miles north of Santa Barbara, and I also have family in Sacramento.

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    chenheart said:

    We Rock!
    Your responses to my post prove me right~ we are incredible! I smile as I say that and I am honored as always to be surrounded by your energy!

    And fauxma...tell me where you are again! I am in Santa Ynez, 30 miles north of Santa Barbara, and I also have family in Sacramento.

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    I am in Suisun, about 35
    I am in Suisun, about 35 miles below Sacramento. Right by Fairfield, Vacaville and not far from Vallejo. Maybe sometime when you are up in Sacramento, we could meet and do lunch.
    Stef
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    fauxma said:

    I am in Suisun, about 35
    I am in Suisun, about 35 miles below Sacramento. Right by Fairfield, Vacaville and not far from Vallejo. Maybe sometime when you are up in Sacramento, we could meet and do lunch.
    Stef

    Sacramento
    I wish I had known; I just came back from spending a week in Sacramento! My brother,(now retired) was the ABC anchorman in Sacramento for almost 30 years, and my youngest sister just turned 50 so we had a grand celebration!

    I will remember to let you know the next time I am in the area!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    chenheart said:

    Sacramento
    I wish I had known; I just came back from spending a week in Sacramento! My brother,(now retired) was the ABC anchorman in Sacramento for almost 30 years, and my youngest sister just turned 50 so we had a grand celebration!

    I will remember to let you know the next time I am in the area!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    What is his name? I am sure
    What is his name? I am sure we probably watched him all the time since I have lived in the bay area my whole life (60 years). Of course, I didn't watch TV that whole time and he was only there 30 years but I am sure I saw him.
    Definitely let me know when you come up next. I would love to meet you.
    Stef
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
    fauxma said:

    What is his name? I am sure
    What is his name? I am sure we probably watched him all the time since I have lived in the bay area my whole life (60 years). Of course, I didn't watch TV that whole time and he was only there 30 years but I am sure I saw him.
    Definitely let me know when you come up next. I would love to meet you.
    Stef

    TV
    He was the Sacramento local anchor, so in the bay area you probably didn't see him. His name is **** Cable, and he did news and commentary and was also involved in a program called For Kid's Sake which initiated among other things, a winter coat drive for kids in need. He's a good man!

    Hugs,
    Claudia
  • fauxma
    fauxma Member Posts: 3,577 Member
    chenheart said:

    TV
    He was the Sacramento local anchor, so in the bay area you probably didn't see him. His name is **** Cable, and he did news and commentary and was also involved in a program called For Kid's Sake which initiated among other things, a winter coat drive for kids in need. He's a good man!

    Hugs,
    Claudia

    I'm pretty sure that we got
    I'm pretty sure that we got the Sacramento channels here in Suisun and the name is familiar. And the For Kid's Sake is totally familiar. He sounds like a very good man.
    Stef
  • Aortus
    Aortus Member Posts: 967
    I'll say it's a good thing, Claudia!
    Thanks for your touching shout-out, Claudia. Moopy and I were both actually distraught at the idea of your going off on hiatus. Even if it's hard for a 50 foot tall woman to remain totally hidden!

    Joe and Moopy
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    Healing Words
    Claudia, the words of my sisters here have healed my spirit and heart and mind over and over again. They have given me strength to fight the beast we all have faced.

    As always, I am humbled and awed by your gifts of thought, love, and expressiveness. There is no one like our 50-foot sister.
  • mgm42
    mgm42 Member Posts: 491 Member
    AMEN
    Amen kiddo. I second your opinion. Hugs, Marilynn
  • ritazimm
    ritazimm Member Posts: 171
    Moopy23 said:

    Healing Words
    Claudia, the words of my sisters here have healed my spirit and heart and mind over and over again. They have given me strength to fight the beast we all have faced.

    As always, I am humbled and awed by your gifts of thought, love, and expressiveness. There is no one like our 50-foot sister.

    Hey Moopy
    As I sit here and look at your photo right below the photo of you and your husband, b4 hairloss, I just want you to know that you are beautiful with AND without hair! What a beautiful smile you have! I'm sure it makes everyone you meet, smile back at you!

    God Bless!
    Rita
  • dbs1673
    dbs1673 Member Posts: 203
    mgm42 said:

    AMEN
    Amen kiddo. I second your opinion. Hugs, Marilynn

    don't anyone go
    I'm here and I need you all...stay. I only can wish that there has been even one line of mine that has been so well received as what all of you have written. We are real, our battles and triumphs are real, our compassion is real.
  • GreeneyedGirl
    GreeneyedGirl Member Posts: 1,077
    dbs1673 said:

    don't anyone go
    I'm here and I need you all...stay. I only can wish that there has been even one line of mine that has been so well received as what all of you have written. We are real, our battles and triumphs are real, our compassion is real.

    stayin put
    thank you Claudia for your wisdom. I just sat back today and tried to process it all. I have gained too much in my 8 mo of participation, to let this situation rob me of the support I have received here. I am ever greatful to the wise ones who smelled the situation out to be questionable. I felt relief at reading your post.
    I feel like I am one of the quieter posters here~but I read and pray for them all. I am here to stay.
    Melanie