One of Those Overwhelming Days - Time to Shutdown, Sigh
Comments
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Been There
I know what you are talking about, it's happened to me before. When I am okay, I see the whole thing as a little ridiculous how a very small thing makes the house of cards fall. When it is happening is doesn't seem silly at all.
Many times it happens when I am supposed to go for more tests. The little things become big, difficult to handle things. I think there are times when we actually feel we cannot take anything else, even if it is a small thing. I guess stuff having to do with tests, treatment, etc. upsets us even if we do not notice it right away, it is something that is occupying our minds so anything else seems overwhelming.
When I notice that I am getting upset at small things, feeling I cannot handle simple stuff, etc. I start thinking about what could be worrying me. It usually is something having to do with medical tests for me or one of my kids. I do breathing exercises to help me relax and knowing what is causing the "stress" helps me.
Your solution is good too, taking time to rest and time for yourself helps a lot. Whatever you can do that can keep your mind distracted and busy with something else is good. I do jigsaw puzzles, mend or saw things (I barely know how to saw), any crafty thing as long as it keeps my mind busy.
NO, you are not a moaner and do not sound like one. It can happen to any of us at any time. Even if we manage to have a life after cancer, just the mention of medical tests, symptoms, etc. is enough to alter our tranquility, our routine, our peace.0 -
Yup, just one more thing and CRASHColleenN said:Been there
And sometimes it's the most stupid little thing that sets it off? I had one of those two days ago. Hang in there and take care.
Colleen
Guess when things are so stacked up one little feather can topple the whole pile. Thanks for sharing and validating.0 -
ExactlyTereB said:Been There
I know what you are talking about, it's happened to me before. When I am okay, I see the whole thing as a little ridiculous how a very small thing makes the house of cards fall. When it is happening is doesn't seem silly at all.
Many times it happens when I am supposed to go for more tests. The little things become big, difficult to handle things. I think there are times when we actually feel we cannot take anything else, even if it is a small thing. I guess stuff having to do with tests, treatment, etc. upsets us even if we do not notice it right away, it is something that is occupying our minds so anything else seems overwhelming.
When I notice that I am getting upset at small things, feeling I cannot handle simple stuff, etc. I start thinking about what could be worrying me. It usually is something having to do with medical tests for me or one of my kids. I do breathing exercises to help me relax and knowing what is causing the "stress" helps me.
Your solution is good too, taking time to rest and time for yourself helps a lot. Whatever you can do that can keep your mind distracted and busy with something else is good. I do jigsaw puzzles, mend or saw things (I barely know how to saw), any crafty thing as long as it keeps my mind busy.
NO, you are not a moaner and do not sound like one. It can happen to any of us at any time. Even if we manage to have a life after cancer, just the mention of medical tests, symptoms, etc. is enough to alter our tranquility, our routine, our peace.
Yup it was the mention that I did need some medical testing in a completely different area for me too, oh great - what's left that they haven't poked, prodded or snipped? Just the thought of yet another specialist and possibly more medical woes started it off then small stuff just couldn't be handled. The thing that really gets me with all this new anxiety though is that I don't feel it coming at all. All of a sudden I am just in it. I am sure there are warnings but I just don't seem to see them til it's like YIKES. That's what bothers me, how sudden it is just there. Know what I mean? Thanks for your input as well, sure wonderful to know I am not alone in this.0 -
one last thing on the pileblueroses said:Exactly
Yup it was the mention that I did need some medical testing in a completely different area for me too, oh great - what's left that they haven't poked, prodded or snipped? Just the thought of yet another specialist and possibly more medical woes started it off then small stuff just couldn't be handled. The thing that really gets me with all this new anxiety though is that I don't feel it coming at all. All of a sudden I am just in it. I am sure there are warnings but I just don't seem to see them til it's like YIKES. That's what bothers me, how sudden it is just there. Know what I mean? Thanks for your input as well, sure wonderful to know I am not alone in this.
Hi Everyone. I think we could all write a book on dealing with depression and the last brick that makes the house fall in. In the normal world someone will say "move on". Everytime I hear that phrase I want to knock the person out who is saying it. Tell my saliva glands, taste buds, 1/2 sinus and dead facial nerves to move on. Or my meningioma brain tumor or neck that has fallen apart and causes constant pain. Along with my ruptured lower disc and torn knee legimate. The reality is many of us never get a break or a minute in the day without feeling some symptom or side effect. And any added problem is a reason for feeling like crap as we are already dealing with so much. Its so frustrating when we want to get just one thing fixed and off the table so the pile is not so high. And I have to keep all my problems seperated and not think of them together as its just too much at this point. I guess a good day for me is measured in seconds when something takes my mind off all my problems. Or those times when we can come on here and help someone that is just starting out their changed life during or after cancer. I guess its a pretty good measure of the human spirit when the people listed on this page who are going through so much, reach out and help others. Its actually quite amazing. So I guess we better find something good in our lives and get back to work helping those that are here searching for answers. Your all great people with so much experience be it bad or good and you have so much to offer those looking for answers. I pray God gives you that needed boost to get back on your feet and put a smile on your face. Slickwilly0 -
Stupid test results
I kind of know how that goes because I received my pap test results (took 16 days) and was abit shaken by the results. I was like a whirling dervish for a few days looking up stuff on the internet. Abnormal cells, not cancer. At least not yet. I don't even have a cervix. I had ovarian cancer, afterall, not cervical cancer. A lady at work told me I hadn't smiled in 2 days. Then I realized how much that stupid test result (which probably means nothing) affected me. All this time I've tried to have a good atitude and "go with the flow, rock with the tides, keep my chin up, you know, whatever happens, happens." Well, I'm back to doing that again. Just a temporary setback. Whatever.....0 -
test resultsDreamdove said:Stupid test results
I kind of know how that goes because I received my pap test results (took 16 days) and was abit shaken by the results. I was like a whirling dervish for a few days looking up stuff on the internet. Abnormal cells, not cancer. At least not yet. I don't even have a cervix. I had ovarian cancer, afterall, not cervical cancer. A lady at work told me I hadn't smiled in 2 days. Then I realized how much that stupid test result (which probably means nothing) affected me. All this time I've tried to have a good atitude and "go with the flow, rock with the tides, keep my chin up, you know, whatever happens, happens." Well, I'm back to doing that again. Just a temporary setback. Whatever.....
Hi Dreamdove. I hope something this weekend will get a smile back on your face. Its hard not to get down with tests. And it always seems to take months to get things settled and our life back in order. It seems like everyone was having a tough day today. While I am typing this I am talking to a breast cancer survivor who has a daughter with cancer. She is a close friend and the best I can do is tell her I love her and hope tomorrow is better than today. I also found out today that a neighbor has tumors all over the place. She went in for a simple exam and they found a lemon size tumor that appears to be ovarian cancer. Then they found tumors in her lungs and bones. She is heading to Chicago on Sunday to a cancer treatment center. So I guess I will suck up this bad day and remember it could be much worse. Sometimes I have to be reminded of that. So I will pet my dog, tell my daughter I love her and have a bowl of chili that I made this afternoon. Geezzz am I a good cook. Lucky for that as I can't do much else ha ha. Take care Slickwilly0 -
Been here a bazillion times in the 20 years since this all beganDreamdove said:Stupid test results
I kind of know how that goes because I received my pap test results (took 16 days) and was abit shaken by the results. I was like a whirling dervish for a few days looking up stuff on the internet. Abnormal cells, not cancer. At least not yet. I don't even have a cervix. I had ovarian cancer, afterall, not cervical cancer. A lady at work told me I hadn't smiled in 2 days. Then I realized how much that stupid test result (which probably means nothing) affected me. All this time I've tried to have a good atitude and "go with the flow, rock with the tides, keep my chin up, you know, whatever happens, happens." Well, I'm back to doing that again. Just a temporary setback. Whatever.....
Temporary setbacks - a memory of a part of the treatment, a reminder through a late effect, a new specialist, a rainy day - could be anything that sets one back on their arse at times in the cancer experience. Temporary setbacks seem to come in all shapes and sizes, some big, others not so much, they too shall pass. It just, at times gets a tad tedious. I'm a survivor, as the song says, the sun will come out - tomorrow, um well maybe the day after, lol.0 -
Well saidslickwilly said:one last thing on the pile
Hi Everyone. I think we could all write a book on dealing with depression and the last brick that makes the house fall in. In the normal world someone will say "move on". Everytime I hear that phrase I want to knock the person out who is saying it. Tell my saliva glands, taste buds, 1/2 sinus and dead facial nerves to move on. Or my meningioma brain tumor or neck that has fallen apart and causes constant pain. Along with my ruptured lower disc and torn knee legimate. The reality is many of us never get a break or a minute in the day without feeling some symptom or side effect. And any added problem is a reason for feeling like crap as we are already dealing with so much. Its so frustrating when we want to get just one thing fixed and off the table so the pile is not so high. And I have to keep all my problems seperated and not think of them together as its just too much at this point. I guess a good day for me is measured in seconds when something takes my mind off all my problems. Or those times when we can come on here and help someone that is just starting out their changed life during or after cancer. I guess its a pretty good measure of the human spirit when the people listed on this page who are going through so much, reach out and help others. Its actually quite amazing. So I guess we better find something good in our lives and get back to work helping those that are here searching for answers. Your all great people with so much experience be it bad or good and you have so much to offer those looking for answers. I pray God gives you that needed boost to get back on your feet and put a smile on your face. Slickwilly
Thank you Slickwilly, well put. For me though it isn't about depression but more of an anxiety situation of late. After dealing with all the issues surrounding my initial diagnosis 20 years ago, I just get a tad tired of it all as issues come and go and come again, round and round.0 -
whyblueroses said:Been here a bazillion times in the 20 years since this all began
Temporary setbacks - a memory of a part of the treatment, a reminder through a late effect, a new specialist, a rainy day - could be anything that sets one back on their arse at times in the cancer experience. Temporary setbacks seem to come in all shapes and sizes, some big, others not so much, they too shall pass. It just, at times gets a tad tedious. I'm a survivor, as the song says, the sun will come out - tomorrow, um well maybe the day after, lol.
I know the blues feeling too, counseling helps, and I've found it amazing and overwhelming how much other people want to help in any way they can. All you have to do is let them know what is going on. People really are wonderful if given a chance.
Cancer is such a stupid 'simple' disease, cells just start acting in ways they are not supposed to do. Someday researchers will find a cure, probably genetics related. And reduce cancer of any kind to the history books like they did for polio and other illnesses.
Anyway, hang in there. I try to keep the 'don't worry, be happy' song in mind whenever the sad feelings start. Corny, but it works.
Larry590 -
OHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOlarry59 said:why
I know the blues feeling too, counseling helps, and I've found it amazing and overwhelming how much other people want to help in any way they can. All you have to do is let them know what is going on. People really are wonderful if given a chance.
Cancer is such a stupid 'simple' disease, cells just start acting in ways they are not supposed to do. Someday researchers will find a cure, probably genetics related. And reduce cancer of any kind to the history books like they did for polio and other illnesses.
Anyway, hang in there. I try to keep the 'don't worry, be happy' song in mind whenever the sad feelings start. Corny, but it works.
Larry59
When that song 'Don't Worry Be Happy' came out in the late 80ties it took til the 90ties to get it out of my head. Thank you for bringing it back, lol. Well now I have something else to focus on, GETTING THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD TODAY, sigh. lol.
Yup people are truly wonderful if you give them a chance, this site is terrific for support, unless they bring up Bobby McFerrin songs, lol. Just kidding. Have a good day.0 -
laughing and smiling againslickwilly said:test results
Hi Dreamdove. I hope something this weekend will get a smile back on your face. Its hard not to get down with tests. And it always seems to take months to get things settled and our life back in order. It seems like everyone was having a tough day today. While I am typing this I am talking to a breast cancer survivor who has a daughter with cancer. She is a close friend and the best I can do is tell her I love her and hope tomorrow is better than today. I also found out today that a neighbor has tumors all over the place. She went in for a simple exam and they found a lemon size tumor that appears to be ovarian cancer. Then they found tumors in her lungs and bones. She is heading to Chicago on Sunday to a cancer treatment center. So I guess I will suck up this bad day and remember it could be much worse. Sometimes I have to be reminded of that. So I will pet my dog, tell my daughter I love her and have a bowl of chili that I made this afternoon. Geezzz am I a good cook. Lucky for that as I can't do much else ha ha. Take care Slickwilly
I put the stupid test in perspective. There are so many people worse off than me on this website. Here I am in remission and I let the abnormal cells found in a pap test get me down. Last Dec. I had a bowell obstruction and thought the cancer had returned. Well, I'm still here. I like this website and recently told someone with breast cancer about it because you get so much support, info, and encouragement from other members. Thank you.0 -
Sometimes, you just have to say, 'WTF?', and call a time-out!
blueroses,
Whenever I reach the point of emotional overload, I usually drop everything and take a break, sometimes going to a movie or watching a ridiculous video at home, "Borat" being a personal favorite, because it is so void of any taste or decency. I'm sure you have an equally "guilty pleasure" in your home video library that would go down really well with a cold beer.
Love and Courage!
Rick0 -
Glad to hear it but ..Dreamdove said:laughing and smiling again
I put the stupid test in perspective. There are so many people worse off than me on this website. Here I am in remission and I let the abnormal cells found in a pap test get me down. Last Dec. I had a bowell obstruction and thought the cancer had returned. Well, I'm still here. I like this website and recently told someone with breast cancer about it because you get so much support, info, and encouragement from other members. Thank you.
Glad to hear you bounced back from the 'stupid test' and that you are smiling again BUT don't get yourself into that 'there are so many people worse off than me' thingy because it's all so relative as to what brings us down, at any given moment. It isn't trivial and just because someone 'seemingly' is worse off than ourselves one little thing for us can tip the scale so don't be worried about getting whatever it is off your chest, this is the site for it as you have found. All the small little things, if bottled up, can KABOOM on us so if you are worried let it out here, we all understand. By the way, no test after you have had a cancer diagnosis is a 'small test', you were perfectly within the norm to be concerned about it. The trick is to mull it over, research if you must, then get on with things and not get stuck in that 'mulling' too long. At least that is what I try to do, sometimes more successfully than others. Take care.0 -
Me tooterato said:Sometimes, you just have to say, 'WTF?', and call a time-out!
blueroses,
Whenever I reach the point of emotional overload, I usually drop everything and take a break, sometimes going to a movie or watching a ridiculous video at home, "Borat" being a personal favorite, because it is so void of any taste or decency. I'm sure you have an equally "guilty pleasure" in your home video library that would go down really well with a cold beer.
Love and Courage!
Rick
Hey Rick,
Yip that's what works best for me, drop everything, clear my calendar and get out the last 3 seasons of House. lol. Can't drink alcohol any longer but found a great Molson's non alcoholic beer that works for me. Having a little more trouble coming out of this downer this time but once I get some new tests they want me to do done maybe I will start to see the light again. That was weird. As I typed the thing about the light just now the sun came out. Hmmm. Everything for a reason? Anywho, thanks for your comments. God Bless0 -
Yep blue, I sure do know what you mean...blueroses said:Me too
Hey Rick,
Yip that's what works best for me, drop everything, clear my calendar and get out the last 3 seasons of House. lol. Can't drink alcohol any longer but found a great Molson's non alcoholic beer that works for me. Having a little more trouble coming out of this downer this time but once I get some new tests they want me to do done maybe I will start to see the light again. That was weird. As I typed the thing about the light just now the sun came out. Hmmm. Everything for a reason? Anywho, thanks for your comments. God Bless
I really do...I know what you mean about those tests. Every time I have to have em, I also wonder what they might want to whittle off or out next. Don't push your feelings about it aside by thinking that there are so many others worse off than you...you're feelings are important and of course there are always others worse off. It doesn't make your situation any less important nor does it make it any less of a battle.
I was doing the same thing as you until I realized that cancer is just hard to deal with sometimes and we all have our own stories...each one just as difficult and important as the rest. I think we just have to sometimes find what eases our worries about it...what rests our spirits for a bit so that we can gather our strength again to keep fighting.
I don't have a particular magic formula or anything...I just wanted to let you know that along with the others who've responded, I too understand where you're coming from on this. I wanted you to know that you're never alone with how you're feeling about it, like the others have let you know.
I don't know if it's like this for you or not but for me it's like riding a tide...the funks sort of ebb and flow. Right when I think I'm pulling out of it, some weird little thing will pull me right down again. I try to focus on the next upswing...just treading water for a bit until I can pull out of it again.
I CAN offer you a cyber hug and also some prayers if that's ok with you. Keep focusing on that sun coming out like that...I don't believe in coincidences, I do think everything has a reason for being.
All my best thoughts and wishes for you,
~NoQuiSi~0 -
Nothing like validation to help your day along.Catism said:Yep blue, I sure do know what you mean...
I really do...I know what you mean about those tests. Every time I have to have em, I also wonder what they might want to whittle off or out next. Don't push your feelings about it aside by thinking that there are so many others worse off than you...you're feelings are important and of course there are always others worse off. It doesn't make your situation any less important nor does it make it any less of a battle.
I was doing the same thing as you until I realized that cancer is just hard to deal with sometimes and we all have our own stories...each one just as difficult and important as the rest. I think we just have to sometimes find what eases our worries about it...what rests our spirits for a bit so that we can gather our strength again to keep fighting.
I don't have a particular magic formula or anything...I just wanted to let you know that along with the others who've responded, I too understand where you're coming from on this. I wanted you to know that you're never alone with how you're feeling about it, like the others have let you know.
I don't know if it's like this for you or not but for me it's like riding a tide...the funks sort of ebb and flow. Right when I think I'm pulling out of it, some weird little thing will pull me right down again. I try to focus on the next upswing...just treading water for a bit until I can pull out of it again.
I CAN offer you a cyber hug and also some prayers if that's ok with you. Keep focusing on that sun coming out like that...I don't believe in coincidences, I do think everything has a reason for being.
All my best thoughts and wishes for you,
~NoQuiSi~
Thanks for the validation NoQuiSi. When I started this post heading that was the point I was trying to make, that people shouldn't feel as if they are 'whining' about their plight as opposed to others that 'have it worse', 'having it worse' is so relative and sometimes just a small thing gets us down as much as a bigger one sometimes does to someone else. It's all relative. That's why this site is so great, everyone gets that. The newer members in the 'cancer experience' often feel like they shouldn't be complaining as compared to other more 'difficult' cases but they need to know that it is all important to whoever is experiencing whatever in it all and it's okay here to say that. It's very empowering and validating. So often the doctors themselves say things like 'you should be happy to be alive' when you mention after effects and that is soooooooooooooooooooo not fair or validating - to put it mildly. More and more the docs are getting it though as they see more and more long term survivors so hopefully we will hear that less and less. If I run into a doctor who seems invalidating I always use the little bit of energy I have to 'fill him/her in' on validation so that the next patient in might not have to deal with the invalidation as I had to on that visit.
Thanks for your supportive words, well put.0 -
Once again blue, I certainly get what you're saying...blueroses said:Nothing like validation to help your day along.
Thanks for the validation NoQuiSi. When I started this post heading that was the point I was trying to make, that people shouldn't feel as if they are 'whining' about their plight as opposed to others that 'have it worse', 'having it worse' is so relative and sometimes just a small thing gets us down as much as a bigger one sometimes does to someone else. It's all relative. That's why this site is so great, everyone gets that. The newer members in the 'cancer experience' often feel like they shouldn't be complaining as compared to other more 'difficult' cases but they need to know that it is all important to whoever is experiencing whatever in it all and it's okay here to say that. It's very empowering and validating. So often the doctors themselves say things like 'you should be happy to be alive' when you mention after effects and that is soooooooooooooooooooo not fair or validating - to put it mildly. More and more the docs are getting it though as they see more and more long term survivors so hopefully we will hear that less and less. If I run into a doctor who seems invalidating I always use the little bit of energy I have to 'fill him/her in' on validation so that the next patient in might not have to deal with the invalidation as I had to on that visit.
Thanks for your supportive words, well put.
I have a cousin who hadn't FAILED to continuously relate to me the story of how he was feeling bad about his situation with having a bad back. He then always went into the story of how he saw a man with no arms or legs and it humbled him into realizing he didn't have it so bad. Now, I understand the point of his story...I understood it all thirty or so times that he felt it necessary to mention it to me if he even THOUGHT I might be a little down about things that were happening to me concerning the cancer.
At first, I understood that his heart was probably in the right place and that he meant well but at about the tenth time, I realized it was something else. I felt like he was actually berating me and belittling me for allowing myself to have any feelings about the situation. THAT I didn't appreciate. He didn't understand at all. I tried to just ignore him pretty much when he'd start the story again...you know, the old 'grin and nod' while I thought of things to add to a shopping list for groceries or trying to remember if I'd fed my goldfish. This pretty much worked except for the last time. I decided it WAS the last time. Unfortunately, I no longer have contact with him.
I also understand what you mean about some docs attitudes and I think it's wonderful that you take the time and effort to try and make it just a little better for the next patient. Thank YOU for caring enough to do that. I'm certain there are quite a few patients who have you to thank for having a better relationship with their doctors and we both know that's so important in cancer care.
You're a special person, blue...0 -
We all have our good and bad days, I'm no different, but thanksCatism said:Once again blue, I certainly get what you're saying...
I have a cousin who hadn't FAILED to continuously relate to me the story of how he was feeling bad about his situation with having a bad back. He then always went into the story of how he saw a man with no arms or legs and it humbled him into realizing he didn't have it so bad. Now, I understand the point of his story...I understood it all thirty or so times that he felt it necessary to mention it to me if he even THOUGHT I might be a little down about things that were happening to me concerning the cancer.
At first, I understood that his heart was probably in the right place and that he meant well but at about the tenth time, I realized it was something else. I felt like he was actually berating me and belittling me for allowing myself to have any feelings about the situation. THAT I didn't appreciate. He didn't understand at all. I tried to just ignore him pretty much when he'd start the story again...you know, the old 'grin and nod' while I thought of things to add to a shopping list for groceries or trying to remember if I'd fed my goldfish. This pretty much worked except for the last time. I decided it WAS the last time. Unfortunately, I no longer have contact with him.
I also understand what you mean about some docs attitudes and I think it's wonderful that you take the time and effort to try and make it just a little better for the next patient. Thank YOU for caring enough to do that. I'm certain there are quite a few patients who have you to thank for having a better relationship with their doctors and we both know that's so important in cancer care.
You're a special person, blue...
I guess we have all encountered a 'cousin' like yours who does that over and over to prove the point that others are worse off and therefore don't allow us to vent our issues. However, if someone has never been truly sick like we have with cancer, and all it's side effects, they really have no idea what it is like so go with the same time old scenarios and sayings to relate almost automatically. They just don't know what else to say because they truly don't understand. I think its a good idea to educate them subtly but I really think that most of them simply have no idea what we live with and how it all affects us, not just the first diagnosis and treatments but how it affects us over time both physically and emotionally. It sure is irritating though, I know what you mean. Some may just be self involved too and just don't want to hear about anyone but themselves, especially with the same sick story they might hear from us, but I truly think that most just simply are ignorant of our issues or just don't know what to say to us anymore. Have a good day and thanks for the posting.0 -
sigh
Know exactly how you feel, sometimes good, sometime like crap, and a lot of in between especially when you have to deal with dr. tests. Just hang in there. I already irritated someone by suggesting remembering the Bobby McFerrin song "be happy, don't worry'' Its a trite and contagious bit of music but it really does make you feel better it you just sit back, listen, and don't think of anything else. And please get on line to talk whenever. I think this site does wonders with communication. I could talk all night and day if I had the words I really wanted to say. But post your feelings asap. I myself will be home for a couple of weeks after surgery on friday so I can email/write/reply any old time. please write.
Larry59 (foley2007larry@mchsi.com)0
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