venting time
Comments
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good for you
just want to say, "good for you", this is why we need this chat room, to air our rage, worries, concerns, about this horrible desease, and the best thing is, everyone here knows exactly what you are talking about - they dont just nod and try to look concerned, they are completely in tune with you. it does seem as much as you try not to think about it, it pops up in your mind and it does drive you mad, i'm completely fed up with thinking about it now all i can hope is time will do the healing. Most survivors say time will eventually make it fade away, here's hoping !! take it easy and get back here if ever you need another vent. tan x0 -
Yes, cancer can fill our
Yes, cancer can fill our thoughts. That is why we have to be good spin doctors! For instance, it may seem that cancer is what you have in common with your new friends. I think there is a better way to think of it that might help. When I go to chemo (every three weeks for herceptin) I have a bad habit of being chatty. I look around the room for someone with lively eyes or a sympathetic smile. That is who I talk to. With some nurses I have grown close. With others not so much. Everyone in the room has cancer in common. I make friends with people who have kindness, compassion, and positive energy in common. Those are the things that unite us. Also friends that have honesty in common and can really vent when needed! Cancer is only the background, the stage set. The stars are all wonderful qualities of life that we are relying on to see us through difficult times. Qualities that were there before DX and will be there after TX.
By the way, I thought your words "too much distance between my head and my heart" were beautiful and very true. I do think it will get better for you, me, and us. love, Joyce0 -
It was 40 years ago today, Sgt Pepper etc
Sweet Sister~
Forty years ago OMG!!!! my brilliant, compassionate Dad said about the look/anger/love of the Hippies: "They practice Uniformed Non-Conformity"....they felt different from the mainstream, they thought they looked sooo very different, and yet....in reality, they were a group of disenfranchised people trying to find peace, love and harmony. Reading your much deserved vent for some reason brought that back to me! We so want that, don't we???
ALL of us, bar none, feel what you feel in varying degrees~ it simply depends on where we are in time; just diagnosed, awaiting surgery, in the midst of chemotherapy~ fill in the blank. As upbeat as we are, as positive as we are in front of family, friends, and co-workers~.bottom line is WE ARE AFRAID WE MIGHT DIE OF CANCER!!!! We don't admit that to the above mentioned family, friends, co workers...but there it is. Thus, the anger, frustration, depression, tears, etc etc etc.
Which makes this site soooo amazing!!! We actually get it, and feel the same way! Not every day, but yes...we have been there, and we will be there again! It doesn't mean at all that we will die from this Beast...it just means we never wanted to be in this battle to begin with!
Happily for you, you are not alone in your feelings anymore! We vent,laugh, cry, triumph, act silly, get scared, whatever emotion it is~ and we know that EVERYONE in here knows just what we are going through. It is a relief and a comfort.
That having been said, welcome aboard!
We love you, and truly "feel your pain"!!!!
Hugs,
Claudia0 -
feeling just like you do
today i started radiation, when i got home i was telling my husband that everything has come back to me just like the day i was dx. depression when i found out, life went on, two lumpectomies, depression set in. was totally okay with things and not really thinking about this horrible disease, then bam, after coming out of radiation today, it was like a light bulb went on....I REALLY DO HAVE CANCER!!!!!!!! cried all the way home. it is so sad how so many people say how good you look, you'll be fine, don't worry about anything, when they have no clue what you're going through.
all i can say is we are all in this together and i pray for all of us all the time.
hugs and trying to stay positive,
janny0 -
Meandering thoughts....
I am always amazed at how much we all have in common - not just the cancer dx, but the emotions, the thoughts, the feelings, the depression, the fears. What's more, we're not afraid to express them here. I wonder if our doctors and nurses have ever read our postings? If they haven't, perhaps they should. They might develop a deeper insight into what makes us tick - before, during and after treatment/s. Maybe they could assist us more in the "what to expect" department. Then again, maybe that's not their place. Maybe that belongs to all of us on this site -- to help one another. I love this sight. Just my mind meandering. Hugs, Marilynn0 -
You are not your cancerdbs1673 said:Ladies, you are amazing. I
Ladies, you are amazing. I felt better just getting to type out my thoughts but having such "i get it" responses only leaves me to say today "thank you"!!
I think Joyce is right. We are all staring in our own life stories. I still struggle with all the buzz words---am I a "survivor" in "remission" ?? There are alot of days when I think this cancer thing has just about swallowed me up, but then something or someone makes me laugh or smile and I begin to realize that there is part of "just me" left and I run with it.
The biggest thing that gets me through my moment, day or week with cancer is the love, support, laughter and tears that are shared here. We can rant and rave and no one thinks we are horrible people who are wallowing in self pity--NO we are wommen who had the misfortune of having cancer who will survive by doing whatever it takes to get past this moment of fear/anger/frustration so we can get on with the lives we so want to live.
Hugs,
ladydi10 -
You are so rightladydi1 said:You are not your cancer
I think Joyce is right. We are all staring in our own life stories. I still struggle with all the buzz words---am I a "survivor" in "remission" ?? There are alot of days when I think this cancer thing has just about swallowed me up, but then something or someone makes me laugh or smile and I begin to realize that there is part of "just me" left and I run with it.
The biggest thing that gets me through my moment, day or week with cancer is the love, support, laughter and tears that are shared here. We can rant and rave and no one thinks we are horrible people who are wallowing in self pity--NO we are wommen who had the misfortune of having cancer who will survive by doing whatever it takes to get past this moment of fear/anger/frustration so we can get on with the lives we so want to live.
Hugs,
ladydi1
Hi all:
Ladydi was so right in saying that we are women who had the misfortune of having cancer but who will survive. We just need to get through this moment. It's so great to have this site to come to. As we all know exactly what we are feeling. Thanks all, Hugs, Lili0 -
I can so relate
I know what you mean. I too am grateful for many things in my cancer journey; early stage, clear margins and nodes, and an overall good prognosis. But as you said---it still sucks! Cancer seems to keep entering my mind and the memory of surgery and treatments and the fear of recurrance(no matter how small the chance)stays with me day after day. Frequent doctors appointments and medication also help to keep the thoughts of cancer fresh in my mind.
I wish you luck with your upcoming surgery and I hope the fatigue will subside. Please know that you are not alone in your feelings. I have a feeling that as time passes these feelings and fears will pass or at least subside for us. Take care, Eileen0
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