Nervous up-coming Onc visit

floridajo

Hi everyone...Well this is the end of my 10 week chemo break, and I go see the Onc, this Friday. Of course now all the crazy fear, and what if's return..and I'm fighting to stay positive...but it's so hard!!!At my last visit I was taken off the Gemzar 1 cycle early because I was going into congestive heart failure, and my body was just too weak to take any more chemo at that time. My ca-125 was 14. During this scary time a ct scan was done of my chest(first one ever), and nodules were noted on my left lung, as well as an enlarged lymph node.I think at this visit they will order a ct scan(from the neck down) to see if these are just benign nodules or worse...cancer that has metatzied and is growing. My last ca-125 was 38.5, but I was so sick then that I figure that was the cause of the elevated ca-125 result. I really hate this time before the visit especially when so much was left up in the air. I'm asking for prayer ladies, for strength and good test results. I would like to go through the holidays without being sick and on chemo. For the past two winter holidays I have either been on chemo, or having a zillion tests done because a recurrence is suspected.Thanks in advance...((((hugz))) to all of you...Joanne

BonnieR

Joanne, sending lots of prayers n hugs. Bonnie

mopar

Joanne:
The 'waiting period' is never an easy time. You can be sure I'm praying for your strength, peace, and good results. Try to just live in the 'moment' and not look too far ahead or anticipate anything negative. Someone on this site (I'm sorry, I don't remember who), gave a great definition of fear - False Expectations Appearing Real. Focus on what IS at the moment, and not what ISN't.
Sending bunches of hugs to you today!
Monika

shortstuff

Hi Joanne, We can all relate to how nervous and anxious we get about those visits. Whenever I get that way, I just have to tell myself that no matter how much I worry, it will change nothing. It is all in God's hands and I will be praying that God's hands will comfort and heal you. You and all the ladies on this site are in my prayers every day. Hang in there. God is in control.

Polly

saundra

mopar said:

Joanne:
The 'waiting period' is never an easy time. You can be sure I'm praying for your strength, peace, and good results. Try to just live in the 'moment' and not look too far ahead or anticipate anything negative. Someone on this site (I'm sorry, I don't remember who), gave a great definition of fear - False Expectations Appearing Real. Focus on what IS at the moment, and not what ISN't.
Sending bunches of hugs to you today!
Monika

Worry is wasted energy for me. Hasn't accomplished a thing in my life. I am praying for your peace and good results to come. We all have the anxiety over these doctors visits so we all know how you feel. I originally posted the definition of FEAR, I think. I have to remind myself of it often. Hugs to you during you doctor's visit.

kris43

Joanne - I can empathize. I was only having my 2nd treatment ever last week and I cried as I got in to my best friends car for the ride to treatment. I was just overwhelmed. This thing called cancer is so uncertain and nerve wracking and I am so sorry that you are having to go through it. Take some deep breaths and try to take one day at a time. Easier said then done, I know. I will be thinking of you all this week and sending many prayers your way. Kris

BonnieR

mopar said:

Joanne:
The 'waiting period' is never an easy time. You can be sure I'm praying for your strength, peace, and good results. Try to just live in the 'moment' and not look too far ahead or anticipate anything negative. Someone on this site (I'm sorry, I don't remember who), gave a great definition of fear - False Expectations Appearing Real. Focus on what IS at the moment, and not what ISN't.
Sending bunches of hugs to you today!
Monika

Monika, It is weird you remembered that, it was me. It is one of the quotes I need to read when FEAR creeps in.

Don't let FEAR rule your life. FEAR = False expectations appearing real

Joanne hope you are feeling more Fearless from the positive energy sent your way.

paula57

Jonne, I agree that you don't need to let fear rule your life. I have to be mentally ready to handle the worst also. Maybe I'm different but if everytime you go to the DR you get let down, it hurts me too much. It feels good to be built up every once in awhile. I say try to be prepared for whatever and pray for the best. I will be praying for you!

Wishing you the very best,

Paula

floridajo

Thank you all soooo much for all those positive thoughts. I know that worry doesn't help at all, and I just got to give it over to God when I start getting scared. Anyway..I really don't think I know anything this friday...he'll probably just order some tests, to see where we are. So thanks you all again for getting me on the right path....((((hugz))))..To every single one of you!!! Joanne