Bob is at peace now!

bsrules Member Posts: 296
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Hello Everyone!! I hope that everyone had a GREAT holiday!! I was going to post sooner but I didn't want to ruin anyones holiday!!!!

Bob passed away Christmas Eve morning. The good lord thankfully allowed me to be with himas he passed on. He gave it a good fight but this monster he wasn't able to tame!!!

I am going through the motions right now. The services are tomorrow and I am little by little loosing control. I am doing my best but I am so afraid!!I don't think that I am going to get through this I know that he is in a better place I just miss him SO MUCH!!!

I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for everything that you all have done for me this past year!!!

Love and Best Wishes to all of you!!



  • deneenb
    deneenb Member Posts: 130

    I am so terribly sorry. My heart sank when I read the subject line of your e-mail. I have been thinking about you often and was hoping to see a post from you. I never thought it would be the one I saw. My heart goes out to you. I know what it's like to be with someone as they pass. Please know that you were an absolute pillar of strength for Bob through all of this and an inspiration to the rest of us caregivers. My thoughts and prayers will be with you through this difficult time.

    With Deepest Sympathy,
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    Dear Sue,
    I am so deeply sorry. My heart goes out to you. You and Bob fought the fight, hand in hand. I send my love and my prayers. Take care of yourself.
  • RunnerZ
    RunnerZ Member Posts: 185
    Sue, I lost my mother to cancer 22 years ago the same time of year. I do remember the peace that enveloped our home after her struggle was over. I thanked God for having her and for taking her when he did. You will find that peace as well, along with the normal sadness. Please take care of yourself, God will take care of the rest.
  • MJay
    MJay Member Posts: 132
    I am so very sorry for your loss. You were a wonderful help to bob as he fought this terrible battle. It's ok to fall apart and weep and cry and throw a fit or two. You have earned that right. Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. ANd keep telling yoursel... "baby steps".

  • gabor
    gabor Member Posts: 25 Member
    Sue, like many others I have been following your posts and praying for you and Bob. I am truly sorry for your loss. You have been so attentive and devoted to caring for your husband. There was nothing more that you could have done. I know how hard it is for you right now as my dad passed away 4 weeks ago before Thanksgiving(stage iv). No words can take away what you are feeling but please find comfort in knowing that many people care about you and are praying for you.
    My sincere sympathy,
  • goldfinch
    goldfinch Member Posts: 735
    Sue, i would like to add my prayers for you to the list. i am very sorry for your loss. may the memories of the love you shared sustain you during this time.
  • tkd3g
    tkd3g Member Posts: 767
    Oh Sue, I am so sorry. I know no words can comfort you right now, but you are right, Bob is in a peaceful, beautiful place. No more pain, anguish,treatments or worries.

    It is you that must take care, now. You did such a wonderful job caring for and helping Bob. Now you need to refocus that energy into yourself. In time, as the hurt lessens, your strength will shine. You are such a fighter, as was Bob.

    Please don't be a stranger here. We are all here for you whenever you need us. Day or Night.

    Please e-mail me anytime. I'd love to try and help you thru this painful period.

    God bless you and Bob. Remember...he will always be with you.

    All my love,

  • alihamilton
    alihamilton Member Posts: 347 Member
    My dear Sue, when I did not see you posting, I had a feeling that things may not be going well. My heart goes out to you at this sad time. But you were wonderful in your love and support of Bob and can be at peace knowing you did all you could.

    I cry every time someone we know on the board passes on and it brings it home to all of us that some do not make it, for whatever reason.

    I hope you will post from time to time to let us know how you are may well lose control at some point and that is cannot go through all you have been through and come out unscathed. Just follow your emotions and allow your self to grieve.

    I will be praying for you and thinking of you, especially tomorrow. Take care, Sue.


  • Fitlisa
    Fitlisa Member Posts: 99

    My deepest heartfelt sympathies are with you. I know how hard you and Bob fought this battle and I can only say what I believe we all feel, you are an inspiration to all of us.

    You will remain in my prayers Sue. I really at am a loss as to what to say. I am in tears as I write this - how I wish that we could find a cure for this beast that effects so many or our lives.

    Please, remember how much of a difference you made in all of our lives with your posts. We will think of you often,.

    Take care,

  • grandma047
    grandma047 Member Posts: 381
    Sue, I am so sorry for your loss. I know this must be terrible for you. If you ever need to talk, we'll all be here for you. You were so much of a help to everyone here, even though you were going through so much yourself. I will keep you in my prayers,
    Love and prayers, Judy(grandma047)
  • 2bhealed
    2bhealed Member Posts: 2,064 Member

    Now it begins. A new journey and it is perfectly acceptable to "lose control" and grieve in any way you see fit. There are no rules to this.

    On particularly bad days I went to the basement and beat on the washer and dryer--they make big noises and won't get damaged. Beating a pillow just didn't do it for me.

    I pray that all who surround you at this time will be uplifting and loving toward you.

    My heart goes out to you and your family. What a hard time of year to lose someone. You were incredibly thoughtful to not want to post this until the holiday was past. As usual not thinking about yourself but those around you....

    So I hope at this time you will be gentle on yourself and take time for you too.

    I found that the hardest time was when the cards stopped and the mourning ended for those around me....but mine was just beginning because when my sister died it was such a relief. She was in such pain and was only skin and bones. So when she finally passed it was a huge burden of stress lifted. At her funeral we were all more bouyant because we were happy that she was out of pain and suffering. When one is up close and personal to one's suffering it is agonizing to watch standing helpless against the tide of death that is inevitable.

    So everyone's life goes on but the ones whose grief is just beginning.

    You will continue to be in my prayers as you try to take each day as it comes without your Bob beside you.

    (((((sue))))) you be sure to come here any time you need us. We need you too. :-)

    peace, emily who grieves with you
  • sallyjoy
    sallyjoy Member Posts: 102
    My heart weeps for you during this difficult time of grief and loss.... I talked to my hubby this past week about how it is to keep in touch with everyone online (even if I dont always post) and how connected this place makes you feel to people we have never met. I am so sorry to hear about Bob, but please keep coming back and let us know how you are coping - even when you feel you can't cope, cause it still helps others in similar situations to know they are not alone. I wish I could say something to ease your pain... Please know you will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs and love being sent your way,
    Sally Jo
  • kangatoo
    kangatoo Member Posts: 2,105 Member
    sallyjoy said:

    My heart weeps for you during this difficult time of grief and loss.... I talked to my hubby this past week about how it is to keep in touch with everyone online (even if I dont always post) and how connected this place makes you feel to people we have never met. I am so sorry to hear about Bob, but please keep coming back and let us know how you are coping - even when you feel you can't cope, cause it still helps others in similar situations to know they are not alone. I wish I could say something to ease your pain... Please know you will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs and love being sent your way,
    Sally Jo

    Hullo ((((((((Sue)))))))))
    Jen and I feared the worst when I saw you had not posted for some time. You and Bob were never far from our thoughts in the past week. We are so sincerely sorry Bob has passed away. Be comforted Sue that his suffering has ended and an eternity of peace has begun. I sit here with a very heavy heart sweetie knowing nothing can be said to release you from your heartache. For you to be able to have continued informing us of Bob's progress throughout the year right to the end of his life is testament to your courage.
    You have our email address Sue so do not hesitate to mail me if you need a shoulder.
    Don't be hard on yourself Sue--we all are destined for inner peace some day-Bob will be waiting for us and I truly believe we will all see our loved ones again.
    We are thinking of you Sue with all our love.
    Ross and Jen
  • kerry
    kerry Member Posts: 1,313 Member
    Sue, My deepest sympathy goes out to you and all who loved Bob. You fought hard - sometimes we just don't know why these things happen to us, but I believe God has a plan.

    This time of the year makes a loss of a loved one so much harder - my husband's father died Dec. 21, so we have been going through some grieving also, as well as my chemotherapy the day after he passed.

    Be strong, have faith and know that he is no longer suffering. He wants us to spread the message of this disease and find a cure for everyone!

    Take care Sue and please stay in touch.

    With heartfelt sorrow,

  • fedester
    fedester Member Posts: 753 Member
    hi sue,
    i am very sorry to hear bob has passed. you both gave it one hell of a fight. bob is in a better place with no pain. you are a great caregiver and were with bob every step of the way. you must take care of your self now knowing that's what bob would want. we are here for you all the time.
    god bless you and your family
  • nbalantac
    nbalantac Member Posts: 29

    Know that Bob is now in a pain-free and safe environment.
    May The Lord Bless you, guide you, and walk alongside with you at this time of sorrow and celebration of Bob's new life.

    You are loved more than you ever know,

  • spongebob
    spongebob Member Posts: 2,565 Member

    I remember the first day you and Bob came here. I loved your moniker "BSRULES". You know, when we grieve, I think we are grieving for ourselves; for our own loss. Our loved one who is gone is at peace as you so eloquently pointed out. We will miss them and so we grieve for the fact tha they will not be in our lives daily. But they live on in our memories. And memories are something that will never leave us. We will see our loved one in many things every day.

    I'm Not Here

    Don't stand by my grave and weep
    for I'm not there; I do not sleep
    I am a thousand winds that blow
    I am the diamond's glint on snow
    I am the sunlight on ripened grain
    I am the gentle autumn's rain
    When you awaken in morning's hush
    I am the swift, uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circle flight
    I am the soft stars that shine at night
    Do not stand at my grave and cry
    I am not there; I did not die.

    We are always here for you, my Bahlmorian friend. You're a semi-colon. You're family.

    Be kind to yourself. See Bob in everything around you (even that old Scout).

    Much love

    - Sponge
  • jsabol
    jsabol Member Posts: 1,145 Member
    Oh Sue,
    I've been thinking of you and Bob, and knowing that you must have been going through some tough times. My dad passed away 4 years ago today, from recurrent colon cancer; it was also his 59th wedding anniversary. He was so strong and accepting that this was part of God's plan for him that it gave all of us strength. My tears seemed endless at the time, but time DOES help. It took a while, but my mom was able to accept that he was at peace, with his Maker and in a better place.
    I hope that you are able to gain strength from the fact that you did all you could for Bob; he would want you to remain strong.
    Please keep in touch.
    With love and sympathy,Judy
  • Btrcup
    Btrcup Member Posts: 286
    Sue, I am so sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies are with you and your family. You will be in our prayers.

    Linda (Baltimore)
  • taunya
    taunya Member Posts: 390 Member
    Dear Sue,
    I am so terribly sorry about your loss. I know that Bob tried very hard to beat the cancer. You did a remarkable job as his wife, friend and caregiver. I know it will be painful and you will miss him but remember that you will get through this. I will be thinking of you and I will keep you in my prayers. God bless you and keep you through these difficult days and nights.