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let's make each other SMILE

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

Well I don't know about anyone else..but I love to smile..I also love making someone who's having a hard day smile..so here's my shot at it today for anyone feeling blue

 

How many slams in an old screen door?

  Depends how loud you shut it.

How many slices in a bread?

  Depends how thin you cut it.

How much good inside a day?

  Depends how well you live em.

How much love from a friend?

 Depends how much you give em. 

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

What do you get from a pampered cow?

spoiled milk

<<HUGS>>

Lin

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

Your cracking me up lin...i dont know why thats so funny but i laughed so hard my cheeks hurt.

 

Sign the memo line on your checks, "For Smuggling Diamonds"

Get on the pa system at work and page yourself

Laughing

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

Little kids tell the best jokes! I was told that joke by a little one.

Thanks for starting this thread.

Have a great day!

LIN

 

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 706
Joined: Mar 2012

What is clear on the outside and gray on the inside?

An elephant in a baggie.

I know it is goofy, but when we were kids we thought it was hilarious.

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

Too cute!!!

Little kids always laugh at goofy stuff. Can you imagine an elephant in a baggie? It is funny.

Do you remember this one:

What's black and white and read all over?

a newspaper, a cow with a rash

Kids today won't know what newspapers are. Everyone reads the news on the computer or TV. 

Lin

marbleotis's picture
marbleotis
Posts: 706
Joined: Mar 2012

It still makes me laugh many many many years later.

Laughter is what we all need, alot and often.

Yours is hilarious. 

And yes - I am quite sick of cell phones, laptops, PC's, TV.........

I know these things are important and help alot but sometimes I miss a simpler time.Laughing

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

Maybe because I'm a kid myself, but....I actually visualized the elephant getting squished into a ziplock bag...it was enough to make me miserably sorry but keep on laughing...

CammieS
Posts: 43
Joined: May 2014

a miniature elephant in a regular baggie...

danker
Posts: 1238
Joined: Apr 2012

Don't nock the bad days, without them we wouldn't recognize the good days!!!

Lisa2012's picture
Lisa2012
Posts: 142
Joined: Feb 2014

Why does everyone love Mr. Mushroom?

 

because he's a fungi (fun guy)

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

Thanks guys! I had quite a few chuckles today. Laughter is the best medicine.

Lin

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1409
Joined: May 2012

lol I have to share this one!

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

with a highly sophisticated sense of humor,

I'll just leave this here and then see myself out.

jen2012
Posts: 1607
Joined: Aug 2012

Oh!!  Bad bad kitty!  You got something against dogs AA?  

Here's my funny....not a joke, but from my 2 1/2 yr old...cracked us up anyhow.   Walked up to daddy's chair and saw his bag of jolly ranchers and said "oooohhhhhh!  Choking hazards!"   He's such a goof.

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

I'm cracking up! You guys are great! Thank you so much for the laughs. I love the elephant one. Kids do laugh at corny stuff...but so do ISealed Here's a feel good thing for everyone today.

 

Im thankful for my struggle because without it, I wouldn't have stumbled across my strength.

 

We are amazing,

hugs

carrie

 

 

 

 

 

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

Kids are the best medicine! You have a smart kiddo! Sealed LOL;I have a funny one from my daughter.

 

She was about 5 or 6 at the time, she kept saying GRASSY-*** momma. I'm like, where did you hear that honey? Freaking out; wondering where my baby heard a cuss word..and what the heck is a grassy *** LOL.... She informed me it was Dora the Explorer. Gracias...OH! Thanks Dora...we worked on pronunciation for awhile after that.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5149
Joined: Jan 2013

That gave me a good giggle.

Kids are the best. 

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

depp

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
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Joined: Jan 2013

I love this one. 

annalexandria's picture
annalexandria
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

May I mention my intense fear of Robert Downey Jrs?

Oh, and Tom Hiddlestons, too.  Absolutely petrified of those.

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1409
Joined: May 2012

hahahaha

UncleBuddy
Posts: 1019
Joined: Aug 2013

I had a tough day today (not feeling well) and all of you made me laugh. Thanks Carrie for starting this thread. Thanks everyone for sharing! You guys are all wonderful!

Lin

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6484
Joined: Feb 2009

My previous husband didn't want to go out to dinner with me after I'd made arrangements for a babysitter, so when he told me no, I went to a restaurant and when ordering told the waitress that I'd been going to therapy for trying to dine in restaurants by myself because of being so fearful of being in public by myself.  She gave me the best service I'd ever had.  Told her at the end that it was just a way for me to get out and pamper myself and she laughed.  We are divorced now and my husband now will never let me go by myself.  Had a couple glasses of wine and a wonderful dinner without my ex. 

Kim

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1409
Joined: May 2012

lol Jokes on him!

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1409
Joined: May 2012

I used to lover banana Laffy Taffy candy and for over 20 years I didn't realize there were jokes on the wrappers!  "Laffy" Taffy.  Come on Helen!  lol 

 

Anyway my favorite that I remember.  . . .  What are the strongest days of the week?  Saturday and Sunday, the others are weekdays.  . .  Buh dum dum, I'll be here all night, eat the chicken!

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5149
Joined: Jan 2013

I tried it out on my husband, he liked it too. My boys will like it, 'cause they have the same lame sense of humour as their parents. 

Yum! I liked banana tasting stuff. Banana Laffy Taffy sounds yummy.

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

Real Notes that doctors have put in their reports;Sealed

 

Patient has been depressed since she started seeing me in 1993

Skin; somewhat pale but present

The patient refused an autopsy

Patient has no history of suicides

 

Funny Aging

Your told to slow down..not by the police but your doctor

Youre smiling all the time because you can't hear anything anyone is saying

You're aware that other peoples grandchildren are not as cute as yours

Your proud of your lawn mower

 

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

hahaha...it seriously took me a couple minutes to get that! Wow, this mama is tired today..but laughing LOL

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

Really? That's odd...I've never noticed them either...I always collect up the strawberry ones...those are my favorite ones. But I never even understood why it is called "Laffy" taffy..ugh...whatta a shame...

Lisa2012's picture
Lisa2012
Posts: 142
Joined: Feb 2014

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

 

Because 7 8 (ate) 9

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5149
Joined: Jan 2013

that get me giggling. 

I like this. 

CammieS
Posts: 43
Joined: May 2014

What did 0 (zero) say to 8?

I like your belt.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 5149
Joined: Jan 2013

I had to read it twice, and then I was laughing. Good one, Cammie!

CammieS
Posts: 43
Joined: May 2014

It took me a few minutes to get it when I first heard it...without chemo brain. 

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1409
Joined: May 2012

I can't sleep so I came on to read all the jokes. Good thread.  So funny.

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

A bank is a place tht will lend you money, if you can prove you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application that says, "In emergency, notify..." I put DOCTOR, what is my mother going to do?

 

Lisa2012's picture
Lisa2012
Posts: 142
Joined: Feb 2014

carrieh's picture
carrieh
Posts: 146
Joined: May 2012

An Arkansas Delivery           

In the backwoods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night. The doctor was called in to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down. I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another baby.

"Now don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man. It seems there's yet another!" cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor. "Do ya think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

 

No offense to Arkansas, it's my home state...just thought it was funny

janderson1964
Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

This is a great post. Laughter is important, especially for those dealing with cancer. I believe it can be therapuetic. 

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