Cancer Survivors Network

Liz ... I'm so sorry about your mother. I'm sure you will miss her and that she will miss seeing your girls grow up ... But you are not your mother and your cancer is different ... and you are younger and stronger ... and you will be around for many, many years.

big hugs.
teena

Liz,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. How are you all doing this morning? I am sending you some energy to get through this. It's not going to be easy, but you will get through as will your little girls.

Sorry I don't have a funny topic, but I do really believe that Tamoxifen gave me the five years I had cancer-free. It wasn't until I stopped taking any meds at all that the beast returned. I'm hoping my Arimidex can slay it once again.

I'm probably not helping much, but I send you hugs.

Peace,
Linda

You are in my deepest thoughts and prayers. I send you some of my strength to get through this time! Hugs, Daine

Pitt, I'm so sorry to read the news of your mom. I've lost both my mom and dad and I know the pain and loss associated with it. You are young and you will conquer this beast, just like the rest of us. Don't worry about "down the road" until you get there. Who knows, there may be some alternative for you by then. Take care and know that we care about you very much and are here to help anyway we can!!

Good morning Liz, I lost my Mom to lung cancer almost two years ago, she was 62. It's ok to break down, I was the strong one trying to help my brothers through it and when I finally broke down It was really bad. I thank the good Lord above that I wasn't going through breast cancer at the same time. You have a full plate, come here often, cry when you need too and know that you are in the prayers of many!! We always worry about our kids, they are our world, and we are their caretakers, it's not easy to not worry. I'm sending big hugs your way for you and your family, you are in my prayers!
((Hugs))
God Bless,
Kari

I am so sorry, Liz! Losing 'mom' is never easy and I'm sure it's even a bit more emotional with what you're going through and also trying to protect your girls. I lost my mom 5 years ago and I know the most important thing to me was that my kids be ok. It's funny how we basically lose much of our own identity to our children. I always feel like 'as long as they're ok, I'm ok'. Of course, they need you more than ever now, so you will need to get strength... unfortunately at a time when you feel very vulnerable. But I believe that your mom will give you that. It was a very strange thing that happened when my mom passed. I was with her and as she moved to the 'other side', I could feel this very strong rush come over my entire body as though her soul entered mine. My mom was always there for everything and what better way to help me the rest of my life than to give me her strength! You may not have her physical presence any longer, but her soul will always be by your side. Look to her for strength... she will give it to you!

With my deepest sympathy and blessings for positive energy through this difficult time...

Marlene

so sorry to hear about your mother.I had a scare with mine in 2008,and I can't imagine what you're going through.
About the tamox,I am on it and will be for a while. Yeah,every once in a while I get into a funk about how drastic our lives have changed and how a lot of things seem to possibly look bad for further on down the road-but then I am reminded of one thing that I learned and am still learning after being dx'd...that none of us knows what's going to happen tomorrow,only God does.
Yes,especially after it happened to your mom,I'm sure you would be nervous about the tamox-anyone in your shoes would.

Pitt, I'm so sorry to hear your news!! With your attitude and fight you will not let this ugly beast get the best of you. You have way too much to fight for. My prayers are with you as you deal with the loss of your mother. You are one beautiful lady and I feel in my heart that you will be victorious.

Dear Liz
By pure chance I clicked onto this website for the first time and by pure chance came across your message today. My mother was diagnosed with cancer in April, one month later so was I. I couldnt believe the chances of a mother and daughter both being diagnosed at the same time. Just as I started my chemo my mothers illness increased rapidly and in July after just 3 months I lost her.She was just 68. They never found the primary cause of her cancer, she had secondary liver cancer.

Losing your mum is bad enough but when you both have cancer it is hard.

A close friend of mine told me that in the world there is a lot of sh*t to be handed out however, its the strong people that get the most because they can take it. In addition, in amongst all that sh*t there are pearls, sometimes buried very deep and not always immediately obvious but they are always there. If you look for them you will find them, these are the things you need to hang onto when you feel low. One that stands out to me for you is the amount of support you have from all the wonderful comments people have sent you. I now spend my time looking for pearls and I find them everywhere!

Keep looking for those pearls Liz.

Kaz

So sorry for the loss of your mom. My heart goes out to you and your family.

It's always hard to lose someone to the fight...especially when you are in the midst of battle, yourself...I'm sure that your onc could help you with the tamoxifen issue, if you share your fears...

I love your 'first bullet' idea...you are so right...

So, a funny:

After my mom's brush with endometrial cancer, which involved a total hysterectomy, she went to the doctor for her 'yearly' exam. She called me, after she got home, VERY upset and irritated that "He isn't doing everything to keep me healthy!", she exclaimed I said "What do you mean?" She responded "He didn't do a pap smear or anything"....I took a deep breath, and said "Well, how do you know if he did or didn't....did you follow him to the pathology department were your cervix NOW is, and see if he did?".

Hugs, Kathi

I am so sorry to hear the news about your mum. I also lost both my mum & sister to cancer so when I was diagnosed my daughters where also scared like yours. I told them that every case is different. I somehow think that in a strange way losing both mum & sis made me stronger and even more determined to fight my breast cancer harder. I have know been clear for six years. I am sure you will find the strenghth from inside to continue your fight and succeed.
Sending best wishes to you.

So sorry to hear your news, Liz. As crushing as her death is to you, remember: you are not your mom. I have found it difficult, but very helpful to sort out what is my cancer and what is not. My best to all your family. xoxoxox Lynn

Hello. I've never posted to the BC boards before. But your post touched me. My mother (79) passed away in June from endiometrial cancer. She had a more common form of uterine cancer but it was very advanced by the time it was diagnosed. Her GP had his head up his a**.. all the signs were there and he ignored them, writing them off as age related issue. Anyway, I've been haunting the uterine, ovarian and breast cancer discussion boards for the last 5 mos. looking for answers, and closure. It's comforting and inspiring to read all the stories of the brave and wonderful ladies that post on these boards, including yourself. I won't lie to you, it's not an easy path dealing with a mother's death and it's esp. difficult when you feel her healthcare providers were inept and negligent. I pray that's not the situation with you. When we were at the hospital with my mom the day she passed, we had a priest in to give last rites. He said remember to take care of yourself during this difficult time, you are esp. vulnerable. Eat well, rest and let family and friends do for you and support you. Don't be afraid to reach out. He also said , "pay close attention to your driving at this time" He had his one and only accident when his mother was very ill. I'd like to add that you'll find a strength in you that you didn't realize you had. My deepest sympathy to you during this difficult time.

im so sorry to hear that about your mom. my prayers are with you! I understand how your kids must feel its so hard with them too! you take care of yourself and know that you are now fighting for your mom as well sure she would want that!!

prayers are with you !!!

Liz, It's hard losing a mom. Mine died of ovarian cancer when she was 82. She was diagnosed too late. They did surgery and started her on chemo but she was just too far gone. She died shortly after the first chemo treatment. Two years later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 52. My tumor was 6cm and 3cm, her's was the size a small basketball. Partly the difference is age and what kind of shape you were in and how advanced the cancer was when diagnosed. The best thing you can do is take care of yourself and make sure you don't get run down. Sorry for your loss.

Here is something that happened to me while I was going through chemo. Believe it, or not but I'm telling you in the hope that it will give you comfort.

"One day I was feeling pretty bad. I was feeling sorry for myself because I didn't have my Mom alive to comfort me. Later I had this experience: While just waking but not quite awake, I felt a pressure on my forehead like someone was touching it and feelings of comfort flooded my body. I lay still to see what would happen next and it lasted for a minute or so and than stopped at the same time as the pressure on my forehead stopped."

I don't know who sent the waves of comfort. But I know your mom still exists. She's out of pain.

My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.

I hope your daughter is recovered enough for you to give each other big comforting hugs during this difficult time.

I'm sure it's doubly distressing to worry about your little ones and want to calm their fears even when you still have fear yourself, but try to keep in mind that as you recover and get stronger they will also see that you are not your mother and that you have the strenght to overcome this beast and be with them for many, many, many years to come.

Take care,
Cindy

and that sounds so darned inadequate in these circumstances. But know that you have my heartfelt sympathy and good wishes to you and your family. Hard as it is losing your mother (I can only imagine, but did lose my dad right during my mom's and my cancer diagnosis), you must remember to keep up your strenght for your own continued treatment.
Just remember to keep your docs informed of your history so they can also be ever vigilant in your care.
Don not feel sorry for giving sad news, that is what we are here for.
Take care of you and yours
=^..^=

Hi, liz,I cryed when reading your post.I am so sad to hear about your Moms passing.My Mom passed away 30 yrs. ago.I was 22 yrs. old.And I know how hard it is.I will pray for you and your family.My Mom also had BC and Liver Cancer.We just have to find strengh to go on and keep fighting.And you will,because she would want you two.I know it isn,t easy.Love and prayers going your way.(Pat).

My condolences to you on this big loss in your life. My mom is the same age now and it hurts to think of her sick or dying. I'm sure you will handle your children's questions with the same grace you've shown through your own diagnosis and treatment. It's a tough time for you right now, but I have no doubt you will get through with your family.

As for Tamoxifen, you will be watched very closely, especially considering your family risk. If your oncologist thought the risk was bigger than the benefit, he/she would have discussed an AI with you. That's always an option, too. You are doing all you can to fight this beast.

I wish you peace. My thoughts are with you and your family today.

Mimi

Dear Liz, I am so very sorry for the loss of your Mom. I know it is so difficult to lose a parent. Especially dealing with your own cancer it seems like too much for a person to bear at once. I wish you strength and peace during this sad time.

As for the tamoxifen, I am taking it and I too was concerned about the connection to uterine cancer. The docs assured me that it is only about 1% risk, but even a tiny risk can be frightening. I do want to share something though. My gynecologist does a trans vaginal ultrasound with every anual pap smear. He feels it is essential for detecting early ovarian problems. It also reveals any thickening of the uterine wall which could possibly indicate uterine cancer at its earliest stages, perhaps at the point of just hyperplasia.

If you do go on tamoxifen you should look into finding a doc that will do this. Mine does not charge his patients or their ins. companies for the test. He does it because he believes it is necessary.

Liz, I am praying for you and your family as you recover from your loss. Eil

It's sad hearing about your Mom. My prayers are with you. I hope you're doing ok.

I am so sorry for your great loss.

Liz I am so sorry that you have lost your mom in the midst of this battle. I know she is an angel now rooting for you to stay strong. My prayers and thoughts will be with you.

becky

I am so sorry, my grandmom was 77 when she had uterine cancerand passed from it. I told my Medical oncologist I would NOT take Tamox! I'm 60 so I can try Arimidix. I'm not doing it until I'm done with RADs and get my C-Diff gone. My surgeon called me and said my potassium was low because of the diahrea, I'm on a potassium supplement. It's always SOMETHING! Only good thing is I haven't burned after 16 RAD treatments.

Pitt... So very sorry to hear about your lost of your mother ( I know all to well the pain of losing parents). Its a very painful lost and even harder when your trying to fight yourself.

Right now try not to think about the Tamoxifen...

focus on your chemo and radiation treatment and your grief of losing your mother.. when the time comes to make the decision about either Tam or surgery, you'll be able to find the road that is right for you.

you and your in my thoughts....

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My mom has been gone two years now - and I know how hard it is. Know that there are angels around you, to lift you up when you can't lift yourself. Know that she is with those angels - sending love and receiving love. Know that God knows you individually and knows your sorrow and fears. And know that we are here for you, too.

Lori

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom. I really do not know what I would do without my Mom by my side during my battle with cancer. I like what Kaz had to say. Hang onto the pearls. I am sure there are many. Hang onto the good memories.

Pat

So very sorry to hear about your mother. I lost my mother 34 years ago (at the age of 14) due to diabetes, which led me to having diabetes, therefore needing a kidney/pancreas transplant in 2005, therefore being at higher risk for cancer..WOW! That was a deep long sentence! I'm sorry again for going on. I am scheduled right now for a D&C consultation on Nov. 23rd. because they have found abnormal cells.......? Right now, I just feel like telling my Dr. when going to this appt. that yes, go ahead, please I REALLY want a hysterectomy..Why not? I have been under anesthesia so many times this year that one more time, if it is beneficial for me, is wonderful..hahaha.

I also know, Ptt, what it is like to be afraid...I definitely have had my share, I am scheduled for my first chemo tomorrow for one example..

Like I have said before.....Let life Flow..........that is my favorite saying right now.... and speaking of its always something? I had appendicitus (appendectomy) in July, and I totally totalled out my vehicle in August...oh, and diagnosed with BC the first week in Sept...my 3 is up!!!!!

Hugs and more hugs to you!!! (maybe the funny topic can be about.....NOW WHAT?????!!!!!)

I am so sorry about your mom. I lost both my parents in the past 4 years and I still miss them terribly..
You do know however that you are not your mom and your cancers are different. Everyones journey is different so try to go forward as best you can and continue to fight the fight not just for yourself but for your family...and all of us.
Gentle hugs
Linda T

I am so very sorry for your loss...stay strong.

((HUG))

Mandi

I know how scary it is to your children when they are faced with both the death of someone dear to them from cancer and you are fighting it as well. Mine are both grown but took it extremely hard when I told them of my diagnosis. I lost my oldest son to mestastized nasalpharageal (sp?) 3 years ago and my dear mother at age 79 to liver and pancreatic cancer just a year ago. Our entire family including myself are terrified with the C word. What I hang onto is my mother and son's fighting spirits and the knowledge that my cancer is different. My mother was a 40 year BC survivor who showed me how to fight, win, and SURVIVE this beast.
I believe that she is that angel on my shoulder through my treatments. I think one of the pearls that I have found was the picture of a hummingbird that was on the wall, in the bathroom of all places, at the chemo center. I was trudging to the bathroom during chemo and focused on it. The hummingbird was my mother's favorite bird. I knew she was beside me.
I will keep you and yours in my prayers. Lola

♥ I am so very sorry for your loss, there are no words I can say that will ease your pain. I lost my mom to cancer in Aug of 99. Right now the pain is raw but with time it will ease a bit, I promise. It has been ten years and most of my memories of my mom now bring a big smile to my face. Speaking of memories here is something I did that I have enjoyed revisiting from time to time. A few days after my mom’s passing I opened my journal and started writing “MEMORIES OF MOM”, I then wrote down her favorite sayings, how soft her skin was, how beautiful her voice was, my favorite meal that she made…well you get the idea.
My mom passed from ovarian cancer so I choose to have a complete hysterectomy to increase my survival odds. It is something you may want to consider and discuss with your oncologist. I wish you all the best Liz and will be praying for comfort for you and your family. ♥

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I can imagine you are afraid to use Tamoxifen (I just started it myself), but I think you also need to look at the percentages of bc reoccurance vs. uterine cancer development in your particular case before deciding not to use it.

Take care.

you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Love and light,
Vicki

Liz, my heart goes out to you. You've been given such a heavy load to bear. Don't apologize for the sad news--we're glad you've shared your sadness and fears with us! Sadness and loss are part of life's cycle.

I know very little about uterine cancer. You say the Tamoxifen feeds it; does Tamoxifen *cause* it? There's a difference, and if Tamoxifen only feeds uterine cancer, then taking Tamoxifen isn't going to increase your risk of getting uterine cancer, is it?

For me, conquering my fear comes through researching the things I fear until I know what I can do to control my risks. I don't know if that's true for you or anyone else here. But I do think that your plan to "focus on the first bullet" and not let worry about the second one eat you up is very wise--take charge of what you can control, and leave the rest to God if you can.

Best wishes, Liz. Take a deep breath, hug your girls, and fight your fight. You are a strong woman.

Hugs, Sandy

I am so sorry about your mom. My mom died of CJD at age 61--that was about 28 years ago. I still miss her, but I am so grateful for all of the memories. I try and share the memories with my daughter whenever I can. She never knew Mom and she loves to hear about her. One funny memory: when Danny and I were first married we bought a little fixer upper home. We were painting the inside and Mom came to help and brought her crazy poodle. Her dog stepped in a paint can and walked everywhere! We laughed so hard seeing those dang dog prints on every hard wood floor!

Thanks everybody. Right now I am focusing on what I'll say for the eulogy, what I'll wear for a headscarf, what I'll do if anyone says something stupid about the way I look, and how I can make this meaningful for the grandkids.

I appreciate all of your words of encouragement...it helps so much. I also appreciate the concerns you've shared that I make the right choice with my treatment and "fear" of tamoxifen feeding uterine cancer. I will be smart and make sure I get a doctor who is extremely diligent in making sure I am cared for. Thank you all so much!

I'll probably not be on the boards for a few days... My 8 year old is recovering from H1N1 nicely and we will all go to the services...

Take care and be strong for each other and yourselves,
Pitt

I'm so sorry to hear about you mom.
My prayers are with you and your family.
I'm suppost to start Tamoxifen next month and not very happy
because of side effects but i will have to pray for it to work.
All i'm going to do is not to be afraid, love myself,
my two daughters, husband, family, friends and enjoy life.
Life is to short sometimes...
So be strong...do not be afraid....
i big hug your way...