Chasing Sunrises

Happy Sunday! I stay in the shadows and look in to see where everybody is often. For the new ones here, I was diagnosed Stage IV in 2018..sigmoid tumor and 2 huge tumors on my liver. I went thru chemo, lost half of my liver,gallbladder and part of my colon. I refused mop-up chemo and my oncologist found spots scattered thru both lungs in Dec. 2019. I'm Kras positive as well. Even with conventional treatment my oncologist thought I had 1-3 years.(who really knows?!?) I refused any additional conventional treatments as well as any more routine scans, bloodwork etc. I still do alternative and natural supplements and enjoy my days as they come. In short, my experience and thoughts with the surrender of my quality of life and my "time I have left" to conventional chemo or immunotherapy was not worth bargaining at the trade off a few additional months (if lucky) of being so sick that nothing mattered much anyway. Thank God I had an oncologist open and caring enough to support and agree with me. Having cancer very much feels like standing in the casino with all chips in hand and trying to make the best roll of the dice. Everybody has to make their own calls. I think having the experience of being the care giver and advocate for husband two years before my own diagnosis gave me the knowledge and experience to make solid choices for MY life. I am grateful for a loss that had the double side of being a gift as well in that it gave me answers and clarity I never would have had until too late to make my own choices. I pray for peace and clarity for all who find themselves here.

On a lighter and happier note..(doesn't "aloha" have a beautiful ring to it?!?.I will land in Oahu on February 28th permanently!! I sold my home very quickly, downsized to 3 big suitcases and a few boxes my youngest daughter will ship to me later, and have my vehicle setup for shipping and arrival the week I get there. I will be hiking and chasing sunrises and sunsets until this body runs out of get up and go..lol. So far I have no symptoms of anything or pain and pray I stay that way for another 50 years..(who knows?!?) I had a wonderful oncologist in the moutains who is setting up a referral so that I have an established physician if and when a need arises. I mentioned in a previous post that Hawaii has the "Die With Dignity" laws in place which I will use if my cancer were to come raging back and my quality of life declines. But, if I have my say in the matter, I hope to be a 100 year old shriveled up Hawaiian raisin in another 50 years still trying to get on her surfboard...lol...If that's not the plan for me then I hope to be a ray of light shining down on each of you in anyway I can to make your days better!! Love, light and hope always to each of you here!!...Hugs, M (pic from North Shore/Hawaii)

image

 

Comments

  • Tueffel
    Tueffel Member Posts: 319 Member
    edited January 2021 #2
    Hello

    Hello,

     

    Oh my god, you have sun, beaches while we have snow here and cant have snow ball flights because of covid :/

    It is always nice to see yoir posts. You are positive, encouraging and you just go the way it goes. That is brave. 

    I hope you have many more years under the sun! 

    PS I did not like the 1-3 years prognosis for KRAS at all. I want it longer especially for my dad. 

  • SandiaBuddy
    SandiaBuddy Member Posts: 1,262 Member
    edited January 2021 #3
    Aloha

    Great to hear from you and best wishes for a great life in Hawaii.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,626 Member
    Friend

    So good to hear from you. 

    I have Feb 28th on my calendar now, and will think of you as you fly to your new home.

    Keep a spare bedroll in the closet, becasue I am coming out to visit you one day. 

    Stay happy AND healthy.

    Tru

  • abita
    abita Member Posts: 1,115 Member
    I am so happy to hear you are

    I am so happy to hear you are still doing well!!!!! Hawaii is on my post pandemic vacation list, so we will have to grab a bite when I make it there.

  • feckcancer
    feckcancer Member Posts: 172 Member
    edited February 2021 #6
    Beautiful.  

    Beautiful. Cool 

  • Canadian Sandy
    Canadian Sandy Member Posts: 725 Member
    edited February 2021 #7
    So happy for you! Enjoy every

    So happy for you! Enjoy every minute of everyday mojo.

  • AnneO1965
    AnneO1965 Member Posts: 182
    edited February 2021 #8

    Go Mo!  I'm so happy for you! Hawaii is on my bucket list, once I get finished kicking cancer's behind... Just make sure you have a spare hammock for me, cuz I might come avisiting...

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,207 Member
    edited February 2021 #9
    Nice wings M, happy to hear

    Nice wings M, happy to hear you'll be flying by the end of Feb. It all sounds ideal and practical, the product of your clarity and will. This pandemic has friends and people I've known, simply disappearing with out fanfare, nor closure, just gone. Others suffer through isolation, and lingering symptoms. Being able to choose your future place and circumstances to this extent is a blessing, if an ornery agnostic can use that term, lol. It's nice to see members here knowing exactly what they want, and then gain it, amidst the turmoil and uncertainty that is forced on us all by this crap. Personally, I wish, in part, that I could detach the same way to travel, [with Hawaii at the top of that list], and at some point, I know that time will come. Meanwhile I'll be thinking about you, strolling a warm beach, lost in the moment.............................................Dave