CSN Login
Members Online: 3

You are here

Coronavirus/COVID-19

What cancer patients, their families, and caregivers need to know about COVID-19.

SRT - update - results 11 Feb 2020

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Hi all

I thought I would start a fresh thread as things have changed dramatically.

My PSA has rised to 0.24 and I have now started HT (casodex with two three monthly injections of Triptorelin).

Back story.

PSA rose to 4.0 early last year.

Biopsy suggested G7 (4+3).

RP surgery (bilateral nerve sparing) confirmed the Gleason with staging marked as T2c, with 3% of organ marked as tumour.

PSA rose to 0.17 at the end of Feb and 0.24 at end of March. Total 7 months

Aww crap.

Saw the onco on Tuesday.

Quite direct, told me straight out I was going on HT (6 months) and RT (months 4 and 5).

Flatly refused to discuss PSADT / nomograms / outcomes / forecasts on the grounds that "every case is different". Basically "we will treat you and respond / react / change treatment according to your blood tests as and when". Told me no scans as it would be too small to detect and could never tell if local of spread. I worry that he is pessimistic but won't let on because my records note my anxiety.

Got given all the info about side effects which I already knew.

Basically I feel on a conveyor belt now.

Unfortunately I am a high functioning pessimist at the moment so I have written myself off given the early (ish) relapse and the (relatively short) PSADT.

I need someone to shout at me and tell me to stop being a worrier and get on with it.

Cushions

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Indeed it will :)

Just wanted to thank you all for your kind words helping me with my fears.

Georges Calvez
Posts: 396
Joined: Sep 2018

Hi Cushions,

My next is at the end of March and I am at the moment at least quite cool about it despite the fact that I know that I am running on fumes with respect to ADT, etc so the chance that the cancer will return is increasing.
Wife keeps on saying that I am cured, yeah right!

Best wishes,

Georges

Josephg
Posts: 203
Joined: Jan 2013

Yes, I believe that all of us were/are anxious, prior to the next visit to the doctor for a PSA reading.

I know that for me, during the early years of my PCa journey, I'd start to become anxious up to a month or so, prior to the visit.  At first, I was not even aware that I was becoming anxious, but the folks close to me were aware.  I'd get questions like, "Are you feeling OK today?", or "You seem distracted today.", or "Geez, you seem irritated about something today.".  And, after some reflection upon these comments, I would realize that the upcoming doctor visit was in fact the source of my anxiety.  The point here is that your anxiety does not only impact you, but it also impacts the folks around you, and not in a positive way.

Over time, as I finally fully and totally accepted the fact that I had PCa, my anxiety prior to each periodic doctor visit subsided for the most part.  Sure, I still do get a little bit anxious prior to the doctor visit, the fear of the unknown new PSA number, but only a small fraction of what it was in the early days.  And, I make a very concerted effort not to let any of my small anxiety spill over onto the folks around me, as it is simply not fair to them.

I believe that a major part of the solution to anxiety prior to the doctor visit, and to the whole PCa journey as well, is to totally and fully accept the fact that PCa has crossed your path in life.  It does not matter how or why it happened, and the lack of acceptance does not change any of the future outcomes associated with PCa journey.  Accept the fact that PCa has crossed your path in life, and move forward in life, day by day, making the most of each day.  Yes, it is not an easy acceptance, and some PCa patients may never reach that point, but it is very much required, and the sooner the better, for both your personal state of mind and the relationships with the folks around you.

In my opinion, life is like an extended game of cards.  You are dealt many hands of cards during the card game of game, and you have absolutely no control over the cards that you are dealt in each hand.  What you do have control of, however, is how you play those cards that you are dealt.  Play the cards that you are dealt in each hand in the card game of life to the best of your ability, and then you have done the best that you can do for yourself, and equally important, for the folks around you.

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Georges

Cheers

 

Joseph

I think you hit the nail on the head. I am still to a greater or lesser extent "in denial" in that I want to be "cured" and am praying for the numbers to drop to support that desire.

Your mental position reflects the Stoic / Taoist mindset of embracing the here and now and letting things play out. The challenge I have is that like Indiana Jones in the Last Crusade I need to step off the cliff edge and trust there is an invisible bridge of acceptance and let things play out and deal with them as best I can. The irony is that we are all going to drop off the perch and we do not know when so we might as well stop wittering and get on with it. I am focusing on that right now and trying to get some meditation going.

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 3148
Joined: Nov 2010

Cushions,

I would rather have sponge cushions down there before stepping off the cliff. Let's play safe. I wonder about the PSA result and above all if you finally got that job you wanted so much. They want IT specialists down here in the Algarve. You may need now a newer passport to cross the Chunnel but you are always welcome for whatever reason. I hope that Boris has not stepped off the cliff by leaving the EU.

Best,

VG

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Hi V

I had my blood draw yesterday and the results call early next week. What will be will be.

I would dearly love to work in the EU as this country is going downhill at a rate of knots. I'd emigrate if I could but I doubt a middle aged cancer patient would be let into Portgal :)

Georges Calvez
Posts: 396
Joined: Sep 2018

Hi there,

That is slow, I go in during the morning and I have the result for most things like PSA, etc in my personal results account online in the evening.
I have the results before the doctors, sometimes it is only me that has the results because the dafties lose them.
Testosterone takes a week because they accumulate the samples and run that one once a week.
I have a strange attitude towards Brexit I feel that my country has left me, passport runs out in 2025, I think I will be French before that!

Best wishes,

Georges

VascodaGama's picture
VascodaGama
Posts: 3148
Joined: Nov 2010

Why changing nationality? Will that bring you any benefit?

UK nationals are Europeans in the eyes of everyone here and nobody is unwanted for their nationality. With the Brexit, rules and directives may change and so are public benefits. I wonder if UK patients like Cushions can continue using their free-of-charge NHS cards in EU's national health programs. However, in your case, married to a French girl, you may not need to worry about medical matters as you are included in the French system automatically. My wife is English (a Chester girl I met in Tokyo 42 years ago) and she has just renovated her UK passport but she enjoys all social benefits of EU's (including EU's NHS) for being married to a Portuguese. She gets 50% discount on tickets (travel, entertainment, etc) and has a GP like anyone resident here. Cushions would need a working permit if he prefers to continue as a resident of UK, or move to EU as resident paying taxes here and do what he wants. I cannot think on restrictions by employers due to the fact of his PCa case and age. It all depends on what he wants to do and on what's available. IT specialists can do their job independently of age. There are thousands of UK residents in EU that like to be assisted by UK based business. I believe that one of those companies would be interested in Cushions if he has a local resident status. Expat status gets lesser interest. 

Well, I am also expecting to read about your remission case. Let's celebrate it again.

VG

 

 

Georges Calvez
Posts: 396
Joined: Sep 2018

Hi Vasco,

I am not going to change nationality, just add one to the one I have already.
This will make things easier for me in terms of continuing residence as I will avoid the need to have a residence card, etc.
I am an IT specialist as well and although my French is not bad I have accepted the fact that it is not good enough to work in an office.
It is possible that I could do other work but I am now 57 and my health has suffered as a result of the treatment.
Before February 2018 I had a lot more bounce and energy than I have now. For instance I have been a keen gardener for many years and I thought maybe I could start a gardening business but I no longer have the ability to do a full days manual work, I get cold quickly so I cannot stay outside for long periods of time.
It is possible that I may recover more but that may be offset by aging as well.
I have not done too badly considering, I have got over the incontinence completely, I hope that more of my sexuality will return, etc, but at the end of the day I have to accept that I have lost some things.

Best wishes,

Georges

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

I had a look for IT jobs in my skillset and they are all in the big cities like Barcelona.

I would move abroad like a shot if I could get a job, persuade my wife and could guarantee the medical care but neither is likely.

I am totally disenchanted with the UK and the attutude and culture of the mass of people here.

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Been a tough week. Major anxiety for various reasons (no job, cancer worries, my entire life has been a series of cock ups) and flu. Today switched from anxiety to real deep anger. Results tomorrow. What a rollercoaster the unknown is.

Josephg
Posts: 203
Joined: Jan 2013

Hang in there Hew.

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Cheers

I know I am being weak but so many things have gone wrong for me it is hard to keep fatih in myself.

Georges Calvez
Posts: 396
Joined: Sep 2018

Hi Cushions,

I feel it as well.
I was diagnosed two years after I had upped sticks and moved to France to start a new life with a woman that I had been conducting a long distance relationship with for some time.
We were just over two years into living together with all the adjustments that involved plus learning French, etc when it hit us.
It has had a huge effect on me, I have lost that 'it will come right in the end' feeling and I have lost a lot of energy and drive.
I find that I always feel a bit down at this time of year, when the weather improves and things are really growing again life does improve.
We have daffodils and mimosa but it still very grey and cold and a long way from April.
Valentines Day on Friday, one more step into the new year!

Best wishes,

Georges

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

I suspect late middle age has an effect regardless :)

Guess which idiot got his day wrong - it is tomorrow I get my call :)

Georges Calvez
Posts: 396
Joined: Sep 2018

Hi Cushions,

Best of luck for tomorrow, pull a below the limit of detection out of the bag!

Regards,

Georges

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

0.09 "very stable" according to nurse and next test in three months.

Now for a little relief cry and a glass of malt :)

Georges Calvez
Posts: 396
Joined: Sep 2018

Hi there,

That is very good, so the wind is set fair for France for you!

Best wishes,

Georges

Josephg
Posts: 203
Joined: Jan 2013

That is a good low number, Hew.  I'll celebrate your success tonight with a glass of red wine.

hewhositsoncushions
Posts: 330
Joined: Mar 2017

Thanks chaps!

Pages

Subscribe to Comments for "SRT - update - results 11 Feb 2020"