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One Step Back

AnnissaP's picture
Posts: 632
Joined: Sep 2017

Well...that didn't work out as I had planned lol! I thought I was ready to go back to work at 7 wks out from surgery. I lasted until last Saturday then had to call it quits. Sure, I still get sore in the area around my largest incision, but it was the mental thing I wasn't prepared for. My job is beyond stressful and I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know HOW I didn't snap last weekend. The theatre I work at holds 600+ people and there are only 2 of us bartending (to give you a small picture). If you are recently fresh out of surgery or even a bit longer on your way....Please be kind to yourself. Don't rush things. Life's responsibilities have a way of pressuring us, but don't be like me and go full-swing too early. It has only been a few days and I already feel like I can breathe again!! What a difference. We are all navigating our "new" lives so be wise in your choices and make yourself a priority. Even if it is at a snail's pace or a sloooow crawl, take your time in moving forward. I have learned that people truly do not understand unless they have been where we are. I have not even heard from anybody from my job and don't expect to because they just don't get it. So....with that in mind, take care of your precious self!!

icemantoo's picture
Posts: 3354
Joined: Jan 2010


We understand. You have to ease into work and other activities. You can probably do most of what you did before, just not 8 hours a day everyday. As for what the doctor says, he has probably never been nephed.



Posts: 22
Joined: Jan 2018

You know after my hysterctomy I knew what statistics say about when you should go back to work when you should heal ect..

it is all very logical and very clinically.  But no one really takes into account the emotional aspect of it.  Then having this new diagnosis on top of the most recent surgery I want to know when I will be ready emotionally.

There is no chart or timeline to tell us these things.  I think at this point in our lives we really have to listen to our bodies and our emotions. 

Just take care of you.  Do what you need to do for you. 

One day at a time.. as cliche as it is it really is a true statement.  Some days you will feel like more.. some days less but you will know when you are ready.  Some things just can't be rushed. 

Be patient with yourself (I am the worst at this).  Even though your body may be ready your mind might not be. 

Posts: 425
Joined: Nov 2016

Thanks for sharing, I do hope you are getting the rest you need. I agree with what the others hae said, listen to your body take it as slow as you need to. Smile

ImNotDeadYet's picture
Posts: 244
Joined: Apr 2017

After six weeks on my butt recovering from surgery, I figured I was ready to go back full time. My first day I made it until about lunchtime; I had to go home and nap. I think I worked from home the next few days. It definitely can take time to heal. It's a gradual process, so while some things may feel 100%, there may be other things at the same time that aren't quite there yet. I was fortunate that my employer has been exceedingly supportive with all of this. Though, at this point, the pressure is on me big time, as I fell behind quite a bit while recovering and just dealing with everything. 

You'll get there in time, whever there is. And you already know that "normal" may look very different from now on. Continue to be kind to, and patient with, yourself. It will pay dividends in the long run.

AnnissaP's picture
Posts: 632
Joined: Sep 2017

Thanks for the replies. I really appreciate it. I remember after my 1st day back I was ready to quit. I couldn't walk upright and mentally I was exhausted. I toughed it out though and now it is time to rest and heal emotionally. Take care!!

klj15's picture
Posts: 38
Joined: Jun 2017

I know exactly how you feel! I have a desk job and was lucky to be able to work from home a little bit at the 5 week mark. I was exhausted by noon, but was able to get up, get in about 5 hours of work, quit at noon, eat lunch, nap, and then take a shower and get ready for the day. When I had to go back to work at the 8 week mark, I was not ready physically or mentally. However, my doctor was out of town, and the fill in doc only begruddingly wrote me a note saying I needed to stay home for 2-3 weeks max. I had no other choice but get up and drive in.

The big boss asked me how I was feeling one day, and I said I was just exhausted. She replied, "We are all tired, that's just part of life" and walked away. I was mad, sad, and frustrated. When you say that no one understands how we are feeling, you are exactly right. We look fine, so we must be fine, right? For some of us (like me), my cancer was removed, so I'm "cured" and have nothing else to worry about.

Take your time healing and getting back when you are ready. If you can afford to stay home longer, I highly encourage it. If I had it to do all over again, I would have started back with half days or even half days for half week for a little bit.

APny's picture
Posts: 1998
Joined: Mar 2014

That's not exactly an easy job, being on your feet and serving 600 customers. Wow! No wonder you were ready to snap. Going back to work at a desk job is one thing; going back to work on your feet is quite another. Take some time to recover and don't rush it! Hugs xo

Posts: 51
Joined: Dec 2017

I can't imagine going back to that kind of job that early.  I was 4 weeks but I sit on my arse all day.  I can/do get up and move about but at my discretion.  I could not have gone back to your job that quick at all.  I was trying to figure out how to wear sweats to a bank job.  Wishing you many steps forward at your timeframe and full healing.  

Cinnamongirl's picture
Posts: 199
Joined: Jan 2018

Please listen to your body and your mind. I am back at work but have limited myself especially when it comes to lifting. I own a shipping and receiving warehouse on the Canadian border. I often find my mind drifting and being just physically exhausted when I get home. I am 8 weeks out from my surgery and I am now down to a month until my first scans. Needless to say I am trying to just stay busy just to keep the anxiety at bay. ALthough my tumor was conatained with no involvement of the major veins, sinus fat etc and was staged a pT2B it was LARGE 13.3cm. and a grade 3 so needless to say I am a little worried. 

You look very young and I am sure in no time at all you will be back to running circles around that place...just not quite yet Wink

Hang in there. Best of luck


Mighty Frog's picture
Mighty Frog
Posts: 152
Joined: Jul 2017

Yes... similar to my doctor said everything will be back to normal after 6 weeks..... How is that possible? I still feel terrible on the 6 weeks. After my second hospital admission (due to internal bleeding) i rested for 12 weeks..... 

You really need to take things easy and slow..... listen to your body..... get enough water and 8 hours of sleep everyday..... 


Angiebby75's picture
Posts: 209
Joined: Aug 2017

Yes, take it easy standing on your feet for 8 hours has to be tough. I am 3 months out and it still hard working a desk job.  I went to my daughters track meet last night , had to stand for a bit of time and I came home drained. Still have incision pain as well. 

AnnissaP's picture
Posts: 632
Joined: Sep 2017

Thank you everyone. It was mainly the stress and pressure that was driving me insane!! You guys are sooo right. I heard it again last night...You look great. Like nothing happened. Well nothing did happen...to them lol. So happy to have found this forum and people tha truly understand. Thx for always taking the time to read and respond.

Jan4you's picture
Posts: 1327
Joined: Oct 2013

Well, Annissa, now you know. But I wonder if you are also anemic? See if your primary could check that out for you. It would make you extra tired on top of recovering. I had to ASK my surgeon to check my iron levels. He didn't seem to think it was necessary. Turns out I WAS low. 

Always listen to your body hon!

Sending you healing, gentle hugs,


Posts: 111
Joined: Nov 2017

Bartending is a tiring job as it is.  Pace yourself and heal.  Hope you start to rebound soon.

mrjoe's picture
Posts: 9
Joined: Jan 2018

sometimes we think we're better than we really are.. although I'm newly retired I'm finding this was really some major surgery, and I ain't as young as think I am.. 


ImNotDeadYet's picture
Posts: 244
Joined: Apr 2017

...assuming I live that long; I'm certainly planning to. But definitely can relate to the "I'm not as young as I think I am" sentiment. That's really been hitting me hard since my last oncologist visit. I guess it's all part of the processes: aging and dealing with cancer. But damn, if I could afford to stop working now, at almost 53, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Nanaof10's picture
Posts: 50
Joined: Nov 2017

a up/down scar c-section, tummy hysterectomy, lap gallbladder.....and this partial robotic recovery is kicking my butt! It's NOTHING like recovering from my previous surgeries and I'm only 2 weeks today out. Going on round 2 on Percocet with regular Tylenol when the pain isn't too bad. I'm used to being busy (stay-at-home babysitting Nana) and I don't move from the recliner except when totally necessary. I can't imagine how some of you went back to work so soon. Take care of yourself Annissa. YOU are what's important.

AnnissaP's picture
Posts: 632
Joined: Sep 2017

Thanks for all the comments, once again. I appreciate the input. I feel like a million bucks again!!! The stress was just unwanted and unwarranted. We definitely need to take care of ourselves...Especially during this difficult time. For those who are healing, be kind to yourself. All the best!

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