CSN Login
Members Online: 8

You are here

my friend with colorectal cancer

mokus's picture
mokus
Posts: 62
Joined: Jul 2015

My friend was diagnosed stage IV colorectal cancer on July 19th and given just months to live.  His SSDI was approved two days ago and he seems to be coping well with twice weekly visits from hospice and has already received his end days morphine package.  I was diagnosed 27 months ago with stage IV supraglottal cancer and finished chemo and radiation 29 sept 2015 with surgery in Jan 2016.

My question; should I discuss my experinces with him being also stage IV and still surviving?  Would it give him any peace or only make things more difficult.  He was told he is too far along for any treatment but I have learned from this website to never say never and never give up.?

lp1964's picture
lp1964
Posts: 1240
Joined: Jun 2013

First of all I want to express my appreciation for being so caring for your friend. It's a tough situation I don't have to tell you that. You don't want to raise unrealistic hope, but don't want to miss out on any possible possibility of at least extending your friend's life. 

Min my opinithe best thing you can do is stay connected with him as much as you can. Just keep engaged and feel out the situation. As you progress and listen to him your heart will tell you what to do. Worst care you help him through this tough transition or come up with something together that is the best possible outcome.

You two will be in my thoughts,

Laz

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6720
Joined: Feb 2009

What a good friend you are.  Most of all he needs is your attention and the fact that you care what is happening to him.  He really doesn't need to know of your hurdles or victories.  Right now his concern is to get to his final destination (whether it be 2 weeks or 2 years) in peace and without complication.  Be with him when you can and let him know you are there if he needs help.  BTW, hope you have good health moving forward.  Continue to be that great friend you are.

Kim

NHMike
Posts: 214
Joined: Jul 2017

I've had a friend that was suicidal in the past and the best thing that I could do was to be there and listen. This is not the same situation with you but I think that the approach applies. Yes, there are some things out there that can prolong life but I would assume that your friend has exhausted these or they don't apply. I wouldn't discuss my own successful treatment with someone that was terminal unless he asked.

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
Posts: 1170
Joined: Aug 2013

I can't believe they're offering no treatment, 2 months after diagnosis? Check that out a bit, if you can. With my wife, Cindy, towards the end there was no comparing/sharing pain, experience, treatment, really, she was on a path beyond me, and I could only be there, hold her when it helped, and stay in  the moment without reminding her of what was taking her down.Just be what they  want without reflecting the fear and pain they already have enough of................................................Dave

Subscribe to Comments for "my friend with colorectal cancer"