my friend with colorectal cancer

mokus Member Posts: 63 Member

My friend was diagnosed stage IV colorectal cancer on July 19th and given just months to live.  His SSDI was approved two days ago and he seems to be coping well with twice weekly visits from hospice and has already received his end days morphine package.  I was diagnosed 27 months ago with stage IV supraglottal cancer and finished chemo and radiation 29 sept 2015 with surgery in Jan 2016.

My question; should I discuss my experinces with him being also stage IV and still surviving?  Would it give him any peace or only make things more difficult.  He was told he is too far along for any treatment but I have learned from this website to never say never and never give up.?


  • lp1964
    lp1964 Member Posts: 1,239 Member
    Dear Friend,

    First of all I want to express my appreciation for being so caring for your friend. It's a tough situation I don't have to tell you that. You don't want to raise unrealistic hope, but don't want to miss out on any possible possibility of at least extending your friend's life. 

    Min my opinithe best thing you can do is stay connected with him as much as you can. Just keep engaged and feel out the situation. As you progress and listen to him your heart will tell you what to do. Worst care you help him through this tough transition or come up with something together that is the best possible outcome.

    You two will be in my thoughts,


  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member

    What a good friend you are.  Most of all he needs is your attention and the fact that you care what is happening to him.  He really doesn't need to know of your hurdles or victories.  Right now his concern is to get to his final destination (whether it be 2 weeks or 2 years) in peace and without complication.  Be with him when you can and let him know you are there if he needs help.  BTW, hope you have good health moving forward.  Continue to be that great friend you are.


  • NHMike
    NHMike Member Posts: 213 Member
    I've had a friend that was

    I've had a friend that was suicidal in the past and the best thing that I could do was to be there and listen. This is not the same situation with you but I think that the approach applies. Yes, there are some things out there that can prolong life but I would assume that your friend has exhausted these or they don't apply. I wouldn't discuss my own successful treatment with someone that was terminal unless he asked.

  • beaumontdave
    beaumontdave Member Posts: 1,280 Member
    I can't believe they're

    I can't believe they're offering no treatment, 2 months after diagnosis? Check that out a bit, if you can. With my wife, Cindy, towards the end there was no comparing/sharing pain, experience, treatment, really, she was on a path beyond me, and I could only be there, hold her when it helped, and stay in  the moment without reminding her of what was taking her down.Just be what they  want without reflecting the fear and pain they already have enough of................................................Dave