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Appreciative of Angels

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

I'm sure we've had our days when random, little, encouraging things that people say could get us teary-eyed.  I'm reminded of Jan's story about the old guy in the elevator who told her she's gonna be alright.  These people might not know the impact of these short messages they say, but it sure does give me an impact.

Once, I was walking in a mall and just a random acquaintance, not even a close friend, went running just to say "Patty, I've been praying for you".  And my male friends, who aren't really expressive before have all been telling me they love me and they care for me.   Even those whom I thought were very shady and cold to me, walks into me and says "Don't lose hope" or "You can do it". Simple words like "This is our fight", or "We can do this" just makes me feel appreciative and I think I must have done something right in my lifetime to deserve the love of these people.

 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6179
Joined: Feb 2009

What a wonderful story.  Sometimes family and friends can say the best thing at the right moment.  Sounds like you have had some very special people thinking and praying for you lately.  When I'm praying to God there is often time that I'd hear "you are going to be okay."  Doesn't mean that I'll be okay here, but know that He knows that I'll be OK with HIM.  Still I'm wanting to be here still.  Glad that you found sound peace in the people you meet.  Hope it continues.

Hugs! Kim

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

Yes, it really helps.  I also feel the same.  There are times when I'm scared and I feel so uncertain and I feel like losing hope but whenever I pray, there's this certain calm that envelops me and gives me a soothing feeling, as if telling me everything's gonna be okay.

MyJourneywithCancer
Posts: 83
Joined: May 2017

Wonderfully said!
Positivity is so powerful and infectious.
Thank you for sharing.

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

It really is sticking with me, that experience. And, like you, I've had some really positive experiences with people. People who were just acquaintances who turned out to really care and people who are in my inner circle that went above and beyond.

Some really nasty stuff, too, unfortunately. I had a woman who is in the horse world around here and is a real piece of work that many people can't stand tell me last week when I finally confronted her that 'maybe your stage four cancer is karma. Ha ha ha ha!' Then several smiley faces. She posted this publicly. It's really going to help with her already poor reputation. I'm just laughing thinking about it. Shows a lot more about her than me. I'd confronted her on ripping people off with her terrible horse training that she has no idea what she's doing. 

But, for sure, those little words of encouragement and support from strangers are so uplifting! And maybe sometimes it is an angel just reminding us that all is not lost as long as we're still here. I can't say how much it made me feel better. I found that when the doctor finally came in and told me the news I was totally calm about what he was going to say. Yes, I burst into tears of relief but I don't think I'd have melted down, either, if it had been bad. Not at that moment, anyway. I do find a lot of strength in my faith. I'm not of any particular one, I just absolutely believe in a higher power and that He loves us and wants the best for us. None of this has shaken that belief and nothing will.

Jan 

 

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

Wow, that was so mean of her to say that.  By that statement alone I can already see she's a very insensitive and rude person.  

Right after I was diagnosed, it occurred to me if this disease is a punishment.  But then I remember that God doesn't send us punishments because He is a forgiving God.  Rather, he gives us trials and challenges.  There are reasons for it.  We might not understand right away and we might even question Him for giving it to us, but He is miles ahead in this journey and He has a plan that is beyond our human understanding.  And I do believe that God doesn't give us problems that we can't handle.  That's why whenever I think I'm on the losing end, I say to myself, "You should be proud.  God thinks you can handle cancer that's why He gave you this."

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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Joined: Sep 2014

That's a lovely thought. One thing that worries me is that my husband doesn't have faith, he never has. He's scientific and analytical. When I survived the blood clot he had faith for a while. He'd been praying for me in the chapel at the hospital and the next day I woke from the coma. He was then very excited about believing and, instead of trying to disprove God, he'd look for information to prove Him. I was so happy and told people that if I had to get cancer and go through what I did for him to have faith it was worth it. ow that I've had more things happen he's become bitter and keeps questioning if there's a God, why is this happening to me. I'm frustrated and disappointed and I try to explain that we all have to die and have hard times and belief doesn't stop that. And that there are people much worse off than I am. I'm afarid that when I'm gone he'll become very anti-religion and it breaks my heart. I've tried to talk to him about it but he's not listening.

Jan 

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2012

your story reminded me of an experience I once wrote about in my blog. I do agree it is sure nice to encounter support and understanding. And if I was king I'd try to outlaw ignorance and insensitivit. :-)

See the following link for my story from 2013...

https://pscamihorn.me/2013/12/01/surgery-tomorrow-11302013-update/

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

I had goosebumps after reading your encounter.  I believe he really was an angel.

Phoenix_66's picture
Phoenix_66
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2017

God has a unique way of sending just the right person across our path during difficult times.  For instance, the other day I was feeling a little down until I read some of the comments on this site.  There is hardly a day that does by that God doesn't send someone by with a small word of encourgement that lifts my spririt at just the right time.  He knows what we need and assures us that we are not alone.  "Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

Just a small word of encouragement, or an offer of help can make a world of difference when dealing with Cancer.  I believe God doesn't ask us to move mountains with our faith but to use what He gives us when He places the opportunity before us.  Jan, you may never know this side of heaven how your life has affected your husband's faith, but we are only called to plant the seed and let God do the rest in his timing. 

I agree that I don't believe God is punishing us by giving us Cancer, but I prefer to think that if someone has to have it, He has given me the strength to endure.

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
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Joined: Jul 2016

My thoughts exactly. 

desnee2029's picture
desnee2029
Posts: 28
Joined: Aug 2017

Phoneix-66  I am a christian.  Your posts strengthen my faith and make me feel closer to GOD.  Thank you

 

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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Joined: Sep 2014

Phil, what a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing that! I wept when I read it. 

Phoenix, I love your biblical quotes, thank you so much for sharing them. They give me strength when I read them.

Really, I'm starting to think that there are lots of angels on here. You are all so amazing, sensitive, perceptive, strong, encouraging, kind, and lots more. Being on here is one of the positives about cancer. Because there are some positives. Some of the people it's brought into my life or brought closer to me are a gift I wouldn't have had otherwise. 

Jan

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4827
Joined: Jan 2013

We are all angels here on earth, sent to help others on their way. We have to be sensitive to the spirit that lies within us, so that we can be there for whoever needs us. 

Tru

darcher's picture
darcher
Posts: 257
Joined: Jun 2017

There was a song called send me an angel.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCHE0Tjw6MA   Quite honestly, I could really use one now.  Someone told me that we are angels sent here to prove ourselves and once passed will get our wings provided we've earned them.  Eventually I'll find out but not today.

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

I love that song! I've been a fan of the song because of the gregorian version of it which is what I usually listen to when I just feel so low and I start to pity myself (even before I found out that I have cancer).  Here's the gregorian version which adds more ethereal feeling to the song.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bud_rR82Jig

If you or anyone (like Jan) could listen to this, I hope this gives you hope.  The song is Don't Give Up by Gregorian.  I listen to this song when I feel like giving up.  Gregorian's vocals aren't audible much but listen to Sarah Brightman's vocals and the lyrics, they're so comforting and encouraging.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeEoR6PQV8U

Phoenix_66's picture
Phoenix_66
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2017

A beautiful song that I have listened to alot during my journey is the contemporary christian song "Press On" by Selah.  Here is a youtube link with slide show and words for any interested:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLwtF9KYbnE

 

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 491
Joined: Jul 2016

That is a beautiful song. Thanks for the link. I just know Jan will love this.

NewHere's picture
NewHere
Posts: 1087
Joined: Feb 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UUYjd2rjsE

And the lyrics from the two songs below

#########################

"Send Me An Angel"

 

 

The wise man said just walk this way

To the dawn of the light

The wind will blow into your face

As the years pass you by

 

Hear this voice from deep inside

It's the call of your heart

Close your eyes and you will find

The passage out of the dark

 

Here I am

Will you send me an angel?

Here I am

In the land of the morning star

 

The wise man said just find your place

In the eye of the storm

Seek the roses along the way

Just beware of the thorns

 

Here I am

Will you send me an angel?

Here I am

In the land of the morning star

 

The wise man said just raise your hand

And reach out for the spell

Find the door to the promised land

Just believe in yourself

 

Hear this voice from deep inside

It's the call of your heart

Close your eyes and you will find

The way out of the dark

 

[4x]

Here I am

Will you send me an angel?

Here I am

In the land of the morning star

 

###############################

 

Do you believe in Heaven above?

Do you believe in love?

Don't tell a lie, don't be false or untrue

It all comes back to you

 

Open fire!

On my burning heart

I've never been lucky in love

My defenses are down

A kiss or a frown

I can't survive on my own

 

If a girl walks in and draws her name in my heart

I'll turn and run away

Every day, we've all been led astray

It's hard to be lucky in love

 

It gets in your eyes

It's making you cry

Don't know what to do

Don't know what to do

You're looking for love

Calling Heaven above

 

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now, right now

 

 

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now, right now

 

Empty dreams can only disappoint

In a room behind your smile

But don't give up, don't give up

(Give up, give up, give up)

You can be lucky in love

 

It gets in your eyes

It's making you cry

Don't know what to do

Don't know what to do

You're looking for love

Calling Heaven above

 

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now, right now

 

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now, right now

 

Right now

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6179
Joined: Feb 2009

Everytime I'm down or lonely or going through another test is "Need You Now (How Many Times)" by Plumb.  I'm hoping that this is the right link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ylnx0NA9X4.  When you go through a cancer dianosis you do whatever you can to keep moving on.  This song reminds me that I'm able to continue even though I'm scared.  I'm a prayer warrior for all of you on this board every day even when I'm not posting.  I've been here for many years and hope to help as many people as I'm able to.

Hugs!  Kim

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

Very inspiring.  And thanks for the prayers.  Prayers is the strongest weapon we have. 

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
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Joined: Feb 2009

Very much so :)

 

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4827
Joined: Jan 2013

I go to sleep each night listening to the music, mostly by Stephen Halpern. During chemo, this music saved my sanity, maybe my life. 

This one is probably my favourite https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyXqJkmH7Pk

Tru

Lily Flower's picture
Lily Flower
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

How true is that! Words can comfort us when we're down. When I was going through my CT scan, laying there worried what would they find, the technician that was performing the scan looked into my eyes and said don't worry, everything will be fine. He even covered me with an extra gown because I was feeling cold. 

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

Dang, you guys and your lovely songs make me cry. I wish I could say that I have some beautiful song to give me strength but the truth is that I always think of Chumbawumba's Tubthumping. "I get knocked down, but I get up again, they're never going to keep me down". 

Maybe I'm just bad for inappropriate songs. Years ago someone suggested to me that I sing a song in my head while showing my horse to reduce show nerves. She suggested You Are my Sunshine. But every time the song that would pop into my head was "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day...". Isn't that Monty Python? 

Okay, I'm weird. 

Jan

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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Joined: Sep 2014

Angels for me today! First, I got a parking spot at the hospital for my chemo appt. My husband always goes with me because- in their infinite wisdom- they decided to redo the very busy parking lot at the hospital where the cancer clinic is located for over three years while they build a bigger one and have not bothered to provide any alternate parking. So we all park wherever we can in the small lots that were already there. My husband will drop me off and go do things but h'es been sick and couldn't today. So a parking spot is a small miracle.

Then, because the lots do not all work the same way for paying, I had the money but it needed coins. It was 14.50! You have to pay ahead and guess at the time you need and it jumps from an hour and a half to all day, no shorter periods of time can be bought between those times. I had a paper ten and some toonies. That's the two dollar coins we have in Canada. But the machine won't take paper money. A man came up just as I was realizing I had a problem and I told him to go ahead and explained why. It does take credit cards- which I don't have- but doesn't take debit. He offered to put it on his credit card. I was vert thankful and agreed to have him do so and he did. As he handed my my ticket I went to hand him my cash and he said he couldn't take it, that was fine, he wanted to pay for it. I insisted that he'd been so kind and helpful there was no way I was going to have him do that as well so he reluctantly took the money. Isn't that sweet of him? Wow, you see all the crap that goes on in the world and then someone renews your faith in humanity. I should add that once inside the building there's a change machine. No sign on the ticket machine saying it's there. Ugh.

Then my chemo nurses were so sweet and one remembered my name from when I had the blood clot. She said they were all told about it because it was such a rare thing but they needed to be remonded it can happen and to check people for signs. The second nurse realized during the course of the conversation that I was also the one that there had been an article about regarding my horse coming to visit me at the hospital. They both seemed very thrilled to meet me. And were, of course, very nice. The chemo nurses always are.

I decided to stop at a craft shop on the way home and an older couple were there looking at things. He stopped to chat to me and started telling me what his wife's craft is. Its something new that I've never heard of called dragon eyes. Its sounds really interesting and I've been trying to come up with something I can do for a craft so that if my face end skin ends up like last time I'll have someting to do while I sit at home. As long as I don't bleed like I did last time, anyway. They were just a delight to chat to and it was very nice and, hopefully, I'll have a new craft to try.

I then went up to the counter to pay for the two things I'd bought. I thought they were buy one, get one for half price and when the total didn't reflect that I asked the clerk about it. She went over and spoke to the manager and when she came back told me the ones I'd chosen weren't under that sale price. I said no problem, it was my mistake. Then she said "but I'll give them to you for 50% off". Huh? I told her no, that was okay, it was my mistake but she insisted.

Then I got home and found out that my husband, who has had severe constipation for over a week, just has constipation. I've been so worried about him. He couldn't come with me to the chemo today because he was so sick so I knew he was pretty bad. Anyone reading this will know what I was worried about specifically. But he's just full of ****! Yay!

Anyway, I feel good and have been having a good day. And I got to experience some angels today! Loving life!! I hope you'll all have lots of days like mine!

Jan

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
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Im so happy for all your angels today! Ive had days like that to. Good luck on your treatment, hope it goes well.

Lily Flower's picture
Lily Flower
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Glad to hear you had an awesome day yesterday. Hope you'll have more days like this. 

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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I went to a painting lesson last night with my friend and had a great time there and then got home and checked my phone and found out that my sister got my daughter, my birth mother and I tickets to Garth Brooks! 17th row on the floor!!! SO excited! They'd sold out in five minutes here and I couldn't afford to go anyway but she lives in California so she can get tickets that they keep aside for people out of the country or something like that.

This morning we took soil that we didn't need over to someone in our town that had responded to a facebook post I'd put up offering it for free. Really nice people and their daughters had two pythons! Little guys. Such beautuful creatures! I love how they have fine little dragon faces. I got to hold one and he likes his tummy rubbed so he lies on his back kind of draped over your hand and wants you to rub his belly. How cute!

Not feeling as well today but still okay. Ran into a couple I know and found out he had surgery for his stage two colon cancer 6 weeks ago. I'm thrilled they found it early for him but sad that he has it at all. He was an angel for me years ago when I bought my home here in town and was a divorced mom with no extra money. There was a water ain break in my front yard and the town sent me a letter saying I was going to be financially responsible for the cost. My house was only a year old and I sent them a letter back saying that under no circumstances was I going to pay for it in a brand new home and I didn't have the money and all that. Not nasty, just firm. It turned out that the supervisor made sure I didn't have to pay for it and got the town to pay. I didn't know until a few years later when he was a patent at the dental clinic my friend worked in and my name came up and he told her about it. So he did that for me and never let me know. A real angel! I've been friends with him and his wife ever since I ended up also working at the clinic and got to know them. Wonderful, wonderful people. 

So another good day!

Jan

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
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I just took my granddaughter to the Garth/Trisha concert here in LA. He's incredible, I've never seen anyone keep the crowd up and singing along with him, like that. His energy at 55yo is as inspiring as, of course, is his music. He has so many hit songs, only Willie Nelson compares in terms of music catalog. I'm an old rocker from way back, and I've been to and worked a lot of concerts like the Cal Jams 1+2 and both US festivals, but if someone asked me who was the best today, I'd say Garth Brooks easily. I hope you enjoy it as much..........................................Dave

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
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My husband and I just went to see the Donny & Marie show. Talk about energizer bunny. Donny, almost 60, is non-stop energy. You walk away from their concert knowing you got your monies worth. 

So glad you felt the same away about the Garth/Trisha concert. Its a great feeling to be entertained so thouroughly. 

Tru

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
Posts: 491
Joined: Jul 2016

Lucky you going to see Garth Brooks! Don't know about those snakes though.....lol

Glad the last couple of days were good for you. Please let me know how you did that.....mine have been lousy.  haha

Tomorrow is my 76th birthday and happy to be here after my last one when I was to nauseated to even eat.

Prayers and God bless.

 

Sandy

 

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
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Happy Birthday, Sandy! And many more to come........................Dave

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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Happy birthday!!

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
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Thank you Jan.

Canadian Sandy's picture
Canadian Sandy
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Thanks Dave. I plan on having many many more.

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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I'm definitely more of a rocker even now that I'm 54. I still LOVE AC/DC. One of my favourite bands! The last concert we went to was KISS, who I love, too. Yeah, I'm kind of an old teenager, I guess. But I always like Garth Brooks and wanted to go to one of his concerts. We were going to see him in Vegas about 7 or 8 years ago and I was successfully in the process of getting tickets when I realized it was the acoustic one where he just sits in a chair and he gabs with the audience. For $300? No thanks.

I'm hoping this will be one of his former types of concerts. Under the corcumstances, if he plays The Dance I'm going to cry like a baby.  

My sister even thinks she might be able to get us backstage passes because she has connections in LA, where she lives. If my chemo makes my face break out like last time I won't want to but otherwise I think it would be fun!

Jan

beaumontdave's picture
beaumontdave
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He saves "The Dance" for the end, it's his favorite song, mine as welll......................................Dave

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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Thank you for letting me know Dave! I might want it for my funeral, I haven't decided yet. I want to have that all planned out so my family has as little crap tp deal with as possible. The down side is that I find if I associate a song with something like that then the song is ruined for me forever. The Rose was played at my mom's because that's what she wanted. For my dad it was taps because he was in thr Navy. Even Clocks by Coldplay is one that haunts me because it was playing as I was driving one of our beloved dogs to be put to sleep.

So I'll leave the concert bawling. Like I did as a kid after going to see Where the Red Fern Grows. I've often said that if God planned for me to cry so often he should have made me not be an ugly cryer. Ha ha!

Jan 

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

Hi Jan, I'm so glad to hear you're doing well with your chemo and you've had encounters with angels too! God bless them and God bless us all.

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
Posts: 2482
Joined: Sep 2014

I just started the new chemo on Friday so my face should turn into a mess in a few days. My clostest friend's daughter is getting married this weekend and I'm going and don;t want to look like  freak but so far the bumps havem't shown up yet. I can see some beneath the surface of my skin waiting to pop up like a hideous jack in the box but bot quite yet. If they're out but have just started on Saturday I'll be good. It's when they start bleeding that it's a real treat. I'm angry that we had to turn down the reception. I just don't have the energy and my diet is still so sketchy. Plus I never know from day to day if I'll feel okay. I was good all day yesterday and then cramped up badly in the early evening. Bad enough to make me double over.

I will say this, though. I was saying my evening prayer during one of the cramps and I asked Him to make ot stop and a few seconds later it did and it didn't come back. I slept well after that.

Jan <3

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

Enjoy the Wedding! Have fun (although I hope the chemo effects won't be as bad).  I know you're  a tough woman and I know you will do anything you can to beat the effects.  

And yes, prayers really do wonders.  Its the most powerful weapon we have, way more powerful than chemo.

Phoenix_66's picture
Phoenix_66
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2017

The power of prayer is definately a supernatural thing.  Hope you feel better.

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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My face is holding up so far! Who's going to look at an old broad like me when there's a beautiful bride to look at anyway!

Phil64's picture
Phil64
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Joined: Apr 2012

I'm going to see Kid Rock on Sept 13 at the brand new Little Ceasars Arena. Main floor. So excited for that. I need some prayers for my seventeen year old. He had a Spontaneous Primary Pneumothorax (collapsed lung). Two hospital stays, one surger, and I'm still worried about this boy. 

I hope the wedding is wonderful and the rash stays away or minimal.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6179
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear of your son's medical issues.  I'm praying that it heals soon and that his prognosis is good.  Awesome on seeing Kid Rock - hope you enjoy the event.  Praying for the best for your son.

Kim

plsletitrain
Posts: 253
Joined: Jul 2017

Having this disease is a trial by itself to us parents, but seeing our kids getting sick is twice the agony.  I pray for his speedy recovery.

JanJan63's picture
JanJan63
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Oh Phil, I'm so sorry! I hope he's going to be okay, please keep us posted!! Poor guy, that sounds horrible. Sending healing thoughts to him.

The wedding was beautiful and I made it through part of the reception so I was very happy and grateful for that blessing. And my face broke out later that night so I managed to avoid looking horrible. And it's actually not too bad at this point. My face is bumpy but whatever, as long as it doesn't burn and bleed like last time I can live with it. Thank you for your thoughts!!

Jan

Sunnydeecat
Posts: 16
Joined: Aug 2017

so many wonderful and inspiring songs for me to add to DH's inspiring playlist!

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