- Search CSN:
- Members: Login to search all areas
- Not a member? Click here to search public areas
![]() |
Mar 28, 2017 - 8:09 am
tomorrow is doomsday how my husband calls it! We are to arrive at 7.30 to have the embolization done and then his surgery to remove his kidney and that nasty evil 15cm tumour! we are both scared! He keeps crying and I am just secretly hiding my tears cause I am trying to be strong for him and our 3 kids! I will be waiting in the hospital during the surgery! I am so scared of the moment they take him! There is this what if in my head and it makes me crazy! He is so scared! |
Joined: Jan 2010
We all were scared of the surgery
wife,
Being scared of the surgery is normal. May he have an uneventful surgery.
Icemantoo
Joined: Jun 2016
It's perfectly normal to be
It's perfectly normal to be scared. If you weren't, I'd be a heck of a lot more concerned about that. Best wishes for a great outcome.
Joined: Jan 2017
Definitely know the feeling
I just went through this on 3/6 with my husband so I will be glad to help in any way that I can. Do you have anyone to be with you while he is in surgery?
Joined: Jul 2016
Stay positive
Remember--he gets that "nasty evil 15 cm" tumor out of him. Stay positive, he'll be fine.
Stub
Joined: Oct 2016
Hi again Evelyn
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.
The surgery will go well. Our medical systems and staff are really good at this sort of thing.
But waiting will be hard on you. The hospital might have some staff or volunteers who can wait with you and maybe help with the kids.
I'd come and sit with you myself but I'm just too far away. I'm there in spirit, though.
Steve.
Joined: Mar 2017
I know all too well what you
I know all too well what you're feeling and thinking. It's nerve racking to put it mildly. But......when that surgeon comes out to tell you "He did great, we got it all and he''s going to be well." You will find yourself able to breath again.
My wife is 20 days post surgery today. She's doing well and is going to go in to work for a little while today. Remember.....we're here if you need us.
He'll do fine. Keep us posted......wishing you guys the best.
Joined: Oct 2013
Sweet, Evelyn, glad you came
Sweet, Evelyn, glad you came to us to let us support YOU through this scary time. We're always here for you and your hubby!! Wish I could be with you tomorrow, so think of me there, with my arm around you, finding ways to distract, laugh and cry together!!
There in spirit~
Healing hugs, Jan
Joined: Mar 2017
Thank you all so much for your kind words!
you are all so amazing! I don't really know how I will get through tomorrow and also tonight! I am just so so scared that something will go wrong because all the docs say that it's very risky because of the size of the tumour! I am just so so worried!
Joined: Oct 2013
Oh dear, that is doctor talk
Oh dear, that is doctor talk allowing you to know he'll have a bit of a challenge with his surgical skills due to this size. Let me tell you that my brother in law had a MASSIVE tumor envelping his whole kidney and he did fine. 20 years later he's doing very well in his life with never, ever any complications. He did have an "open" incision, due to the size, but back then they did not offer robatic surgery.
Trust in the skills of this surgeon, pray for him and his staff. Trust your "faith" whatever that may be. Will you have anyone with you?
Do "centered breathing" exercises.
Jan
Joined: Mar 2017
As they tell us it is open
As they tell us it is open surgery! 40cm incision! just cause of the size of the tumour! I won't have anyone there but myself! But I will try the breathing! I am so distraight but I can't break down for him and the kids!
Joined: Jan 2017
We will be here for you to
We will be here for you to talk to during his surgery, if you like. I went through my husband's surgery alone and, while it wasn't fun, I just tried to have courage but it was tough. And, if you're like me, your husband is the one you lean on in your times of worry but now you also have all of us here on this forum. The whole motley crew of us!!
He will be fine, you will be fine and your kids will be fine.
We will be praying for you guys!! Hang in there!!
Joined: May 2014
Hi Wife . I am on my 3rd year
Hi Wife . I am on my 3rd year out of having removal of my right kidney, It was large but im doing great ,your husband will do fine too. I will keep you in my thoughts as well . This is a little late, but just seen the message , so glad it is over with by now im sure . so breath. and take care of yourself as well.
Joined: Mar 2017
Jan..just read your post
Jan..just read your post about your brother in law..it gave me hope.
My husband's tumor is 4" long. I am worried sick about surgery but I know that is probably the only treatment. what stage was your brother in law's cancer? So encouraging to hear he is doing fine 20 years later. I am so happy I found this group..I am sick to my stomach about this.. my husband is strong and he says he is not afraid and will take on whatever he needs to do. We have a son who is probably going to get married in the next couple years and I want my husband to be around for that. thank you for any info you provide.
Joined: Oct 2013
Hello EBD!!
Hello EBD!!
Don't know what stage of brother in law, Jim's tumor. I do think it was necrotic or died by was enveloped by the kidney. It never spread but by size along was probably stage III.
Mine was just over 4cm. So do you think your husband's is 4cm and not 4 inches? Yes, it will be gone with the surgery. He'll recover and this will be a blurr behind you, except for the 5 year monitoring. Hope it is not a stubborn bugger of a tumor, comes out nicely and they get to keep most of his kidney.
Keep us posted. When is his surgery?
Jan
Joined: Mar 2017
Also the length of the
Also the length of the surgery scares me... 4-6 hours... so so long!
Joined: Oct 2013
Make sure he gets one of
Make sure he gets one of those lumbar, velcro wraps used for low back problems. I have used it several surgeries. It supports those tender, sore muscles as they heal. It helped me get UP from a chair/bed more easily. I even wore it to bed. AND I would place dry ice packs inside over the larger incision (had laproscopic incisions) and it helped reduce the swelling=lessened the pain.
Well, I will be "with you" in spirit dear, Evenlyn. You feel anyway you want, get those emotions OUT!
Healing hugs, Jan
Joined: Mar 2017
Thank you so much for the
Thank you so much for the advice! I will make sure he has one! I wonder how long they keep him in the hospital! They said 3-5 days... seemed so short to me!
Joined: Oct 2013
Yes it seems short stay, BUT
Yes it seems short stay, BUT as long as he can do his bodily functions (once catheter is out) and can walk, pain under control, its best to recoup at home. Hospitals do not let you rest! You are on their schedule. Just when you can finally sleep/rest, someone will come in to do or say something. He will also have those squeezing devices on legs to prevent clots, at least first day or so. They have a pump he'll hear when they squeeze. Some folks hate it, I loved it,made my legs feel good. I eventually got used to that sound.
He'll also be on a pain pump first day at least. He just has to press a button to get extra push of the dose of morphine or fetanyl. Also he has versed in his general anesthesia which has amnesiac features as side effects. So it may seem like he forgets what you just said or what he just said, but that will wear off soon. My sister does a whole routine on how people like me act when on Versed. LOL. But I "forgot" I had a button to push for pain pump!!
Use the email portion of this site if you want further information or more personal talk. I will support you anytime!
Jan
Joined: Feb 2015
Sending good wishes for tomorrow
look at it this way; tomorrow he will be rid of that nasty tumor! I remember my 5 weeks wait like a nightmare but when the day for the surgery arrived, I was sooo ready! I don't mean I was not a bit scared, it feels surreal but I was realieved of having it come out! Trust the medical team's skills and try as much as you possibly can to relax while waiting. I trust to hear good news from you very, very soon!
Joined: Mar 2012
Get through tomorrow - first!
My tumor was 14.5, they removed it, my left kidney, and 8 inches of my colon - all at the same time! Yes - it was scary and yes my wife and I cried - but just think about getting tomorrow done with, then tackle the recovery, then getting back home, then getting to your "new normal". Surgery was 5 years ago for me and I am feeling fine. My scar is probably 30cm and I was home after 5 days in the hospital.
Stay strong! He's gonna need you!
Joined: Oct 2011
Hang on
Soon it will be behind you 2. Make only positive thoughts.
Joined: Mar 2017
It is very natural to be
It is very natural to be nervous.
I am a 62 year old woman who is now 6 days post surgery and I was a total mess prior. I had a 7.7 cm tumor that was removed along with the right kidney. The waiting was the worst part. My family was my rock during that difficult time. I knew they were very scared too but they held it together for me. Your husband needs you to be strong for him and the children. Take deep breaths and keep in mind that by tomorrow this time, surgery will be over, the tumor will be gone and he will be on the road to recovery.
I am doing very well and saw my surgeon for a follow-up this morning. He was amazed at how far I've come in just 6 days. Recovery is hard at times but attitude means everything.
Joined: Jan 2010
Welcome
Doggyrescuer,
Start a new forum topic and tell us about your self so we can give you a proper welcome.
Icemantoo
Joined: Dec 2013
Difficult
Evelyn: as the spouse of the patient, I can truly relate to you. My husband's nephrectomy came after a laminectomy for mets to the spine and a subsequent 16-day stay for intestinal blockage. So, the nephrectomy was a walk in the park.
I well remember the laminectomy, the embolization the night before and the wait which was blessedly shorter than anticipated. I was initially alone but then joined by my sister-in-law, mother-in-law and son joined me which was needed for the first night in ICU. He received 10 transfusions and experienced intense pain until the right narcotic combo was found. I am sorry that you will be alone tomorrow and you will be in my thoughts. Think of this not as doomsday but as your first step to health. And, if possible, stay connected with us here.
my best wishes
Sarah
Joined: Mar 2017
Thank you so much! All of
Thank you so much! All of your words made me way more positive and hopeful! I am awake and ready to take the drive to the hospital to get him admitted and have surgery! Threw up twice but I am tough and I will be strong for him! I am glad our kids are staying home so they don't see me break down after they take him!
Joined: Mar 2017
Be strong.
Don't break down, he'llbe fine. Yes, it's scary, but they are probably saving his life. You have to let them work. He needs you and wants you to be strong.
Joined: Mar 2014
Thinking of you both and
Thinking of you both and wishing you the very best. He'll be fine once they remove it. It's the waiting and the anxiety that's the worst. Hang in there! Hugs.
Joined: Mar 2017
I am waiting! He is having
I am waiting! He is having the kidney embolization done! I can see him after before surgery! I wonder how long it takes.... I am shaking and scared!
Joined: Mar 2014
It's normal to be scared. I
It's normal to be scared. I was so scared when my husband was having his colon resectioned and he was scared for me when I had my nephrectomy. Sometimes I don't know who has it worse; the person getting it done or the one waiting while it's being done.
Joined: Nov 2016
It is normal to be scared
It might be more difficult for our loved ones in the surgery waiting than the patient who is out of it and not worried at all...I am 6 months from an open nephrectomy to remove a 20 cm tumor and I am doing well. Hoping and praying your hubby will recover and heal up soon.
Joined: Oct 2013
Hi Wife,
Hi Wife,
I hope that you are holding up okay. I know your husband's surgery is today. It is rough for both of you, but hang on, because you will get through this!
Your husband will be sore - even more so because he is having the open surgery. But after today, each day will get better. Please stay focussed on that.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way!
Jojo
Joined: Mar 2017
I hope that your husband had
I hope that your husband had a successfull surgery! and that you are now breathing and more at ease! Wishing ya'll well! We are all sending good vibes!
Joined: Mar 2014
Yes, hope all went well.
Yes, hope all went well. Anxious to hear how your husband is doing.
Joined: Jun 2016
Holding...
Sending continued cyber hugs your way...
Joined: Dec 2014
surgery update?
I have followed your husbands journey and prayed for some direction. Please know my prayers will continue as he recovers. Do keep up posted. Much love!
Joined: Mar 2017
UPDATE
Surgery was a success! They removed a 21 cm and 10.5 lbs large tunour along with his left kidney and one lymph node! We were worried about so many other things like his bowels, his spleen and more! But all was good! He is recovering well and might even be sent home tomorrow! I am so thinkful to have found this forum as I am blessed to have had you all with your encouraging words! I could have not done this without you guys! I will keep you all posted on our recovery! <3
Joined: Dec 2013
Great update
Evelyn:
that was a huge tumor but so wonderful to have it out and behind you; thank you for letting us kn. Now, get some solid rest before the patient goes home.
Sarah
Joined: Apr 2016
Great news
I am so happy to hear your good news. My husband had a 13 cm tumor, but they were unable to remove it. It spread so fast within a 6 week period after diagnosis. No one would touch it. We live in SW MO, and even made the trip to St. Louis to have it removed. They ended up removing a tumor from his spine instead.
Joined: Oct 2016
Hi Evelyn
Thank you for posting the update. I was also worried, because of the size of the thing.
You seem to be feeling better too. That's great.
Steve.
Joined: Jun 2016
Good news! Just make sure he
Good news! Just make sure he follows all the doctor's instructions and, when they tell him to walk, get him to walk!
Joined: Oct 2011
now refocus
nothing but positive energy leading to a routine recovery and long life ahead. Good for u guys.
Joined: Mar 2014
Great news! So happy it's
Great news! So happy it's over and he's on his way to recovery. All the very best to both of you!
Joined: Apr 2017
Waiting for the operation date
Hi ! Got to know know about my husband's RCC a day after confirmation of our pregnancy . He has a 10*13cm tsize tumor. Chest and brain are clear . no metastatis found anywhere in the body. We are yet to get his surgeru date.
I am worried that it may get worsen in this waiting period. How to deal with this and what was your waiting period and stage of RCC.
thanks
Joined: May 2014
Hi Moon. soon it will be over
Hi Moon. soon it will be over . I found out I had RCC on MARCH 4th , had right neph, had to take the kidney. The surgery was not until April 21st ,ugh so a long time to be worried which I did not need to be . the tumor grew very slow over several years .Had my scans last week and doing great. I forget I had surgery till the week of the next appt than I panic. but doing great now .Wishing your and your family the best . Keep us posted .
Joined: Nov 2016
Evelyn
So happy to hear that it went well! Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. That was a big ole tumor, aren't you glad it is gone? Woo hoo!
Joined: Oct 2013
Thanks for the update. As you
Thanks for the update. As you can see WE CARE!
Now no more worrying about the what ifs=waste of energy needed to LIVE TODAY!!
Healing hugs to you both!
Jan
Joined: Mar 2017
this is the most amazing
this is the most amazing group of people! I am truly blessed to have found this page as you all are amazing! through all the dark nights and tears I had you to fall on! Thank you!
Joined: Mar 2017
Love
Sending love your way. Prayers
Joined: Jul 2017
Rest well & Take Good Care!
Rest well and speedy recovery....Be strong....
Joined: Aug 2017
Sorry
.