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Surgery tomorrow scared

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

tomorrow is doomsday how my husband calls it! We are to arrive at 7.30 to have the embolization done and then his surgery to remove his kidney and that nasty evil 15cm tumour! we are both scared! He keeps crying and I am just secretly hiding my tears cause I am trying to be strong for him and our 3 kids! I will be waiting in the hospital during the surgery! I am so scared of the moment they take him! There is this what if in my head and it makes me crazy! He is so scared! 

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3217
Joined: Jan 2010

wife,

 

Being scared of the surgery is normal. May he have an uneventful surgery.

 

 

Icemantoo

Bay Area Guy's picture
Bay Area Guy
Posts: 385
Joined: Jun 2016

It's perfectly normal to be scared.  If you weren't, I'd be a heck of a lot more concerned about that.  Best wishes for a great outcome.

sandy23
Posts: 137
Joined: Jan 2017

I just went through this on 3/6 with my husband so I will be glad to help in any way that I can. Do you have anyone to be with you while he is in surgery?

stub1969's picture
stub1969
Posts: 796
Joined: Jul 2016

Remember--he gets that "nasty evil 15 cm" tumor out of him.   Stay positive, he'll be fine.

Stub

Steve.Adam's picture
Steve.Adam
Posts: 460
Joined: Oct 2016

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

The surgery will go well. Our medical systems and staff are really good at this sort of thing.

But waiting will be hard on you. The hospital might have some staff or volunteers who can wait with you and maybe help with the kids.

I'd come and sit with you myself but I'm just too far away. I'm there in spirit, though.

Steve.

BoondockSaint's picture
BoondockSaint
Posts: 241
Joined: Mar 2017

I know all too well what you're feeling and thinking. It's nerve racking to put it mildly. But......when that surgeon comes out to tell you "He did great, we got it all and he''s going to be well." You will find yourself able to breath again.

My wife is 20 days post surgery today. She's doing well and is going to go in to work for a little while today. Remember.....we're here if you need us.

He'll do fine. Keep us posted......wishing you guys the best.

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1320
Joined: Oct 2013

Sweet, Evelyn, glad you came to us to let us support YOU through this scary time. We're always here for you and your hubby!! Wish I could be with you tomorrow, so think of me there, with my arm around you, finding ways to distract, laugh and cry together!!

There in spirit~

Healing hugs, Jan

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

you are all so amazing! I don't really know how I will get through tomorrow and also tonight! I am just so so scared that something will go wrong because all the docs say that it's very risky because of the size of the tumour! I am just so so worried!

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1320
Joined: Oct 2013

Oh dear, that is doctor talk allowing you to know he'll have a bit of a challenge with his surgical skills due to this size. Let me tell you that my brother in law had a MASSIVE tumor envelping his whole kidney and he did fine. 20 years later he's doing very well in his life with never, ever any complications. He did have an "open" incision, due to the size, but back then they did not offer robatic surgery.

Trust in the skills of this surgeon, pray for him and his staff. Trust your "faith" whatever that may be. Will you have anyone with you?

Do "centered breathing" exercises.

Jan

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

As they tell us it is open surgery! 40cm incision! just cause of the size of the tumour! I won't have anyone there but myself! But I will try the breathing! I am so distraight but I can't break down for him and the kids! 

sandy23
Posts: 137
Joined: Jan 2017

We will be here for you to talk to during his surgery, if you like.  I went through my husband's surgery alone and, while it wasn't fun, I just tried to have courage but it was tough.  And, if you're like me, your husband is the one you lean on in your times of worry but now you also have all of us here on this forum.  The whole motley crew of us!!

He will be fine, you will be fine and your kids will be fine.  

We will be praying for you guys!!  Hang in there!!

Ree_Maryland's picture
Ree_Maryland
Posts: 157
Joined: May 2014

Hi Wife . I am on my 3rd year out of having removal of my right kidney, It was large but im doing great ,your husband will do fine too. I will keep you in my thoughts as well . This is a little late, but just seen the message , so glad it is over with by now im sure . so breath. and take care of yourself as well. 

EBD
Posts: 10
Joined: Mar 2017

Jan..just read your post about your brother in law..it gave me hope.

My husband's tumor is 4" long.  I am worried sick about surgery but I know that is probably the only treatment.  what stage was your brother in law's cancer?  So encouraging to hear he is doing fine 20 years later.  I am so happy I  found this group..I am sick to my stomach about this.. my husband is strong and he says he is not afraid and will take on whatever he needs to do.  We have a son who is probably going to get married in the next couple years and I want my husband to be around for that.  thank you for any info you provide.

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1320
Joined: Oct 2013

Hello EBD!!

Don't know what stage of  brother in law, Jim's tumor. I do think it was necrotic or died by was enveloped by the kidney. It never spread but by size along was probably stage III.

Mine was  just over 4cm. So do you think your husband's is 4cm and not 4 inches? Yes, it will be gone with the surgery. He'll recover and this will be a blurr behind you, except for the 5 year monitoring. Hope it is not a stubborn bugger of a tumor, comes out nicely and they get to keep most of his kidney.

Keep us posted. When is his surgery?

Jan

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

Also the length of the surgery scares me... 4-6 hours... so so long!

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1320
Joined: Oct 2013

Make sure he gets one of those lumbar, velcro wraps used for low back problems. I have used it several surgeries. It supports those tender, sore muscles as they heal. It helped me get UP from a chair/bed more easily. I even wore it to bed. AND I would place dry ice packs inside over the larger incision (had laproscopic incisions) and it helped reduce the swelling=lessened the pain.

Well, I will be "with you" in spirit dear, Evenlyn. You feel anyway you want, get those emotions OUT!

Healing hugs, Jan

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

Thank you so much for the advice! I will make sure he has one! I wonder how long they keep him in the hospital! They said 3-5 days... seemed so short to me! 

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1320
Joined: Oct 2013

Yes it seems short stay, BUT as long as he can do his bodily functions (once catheter is out) and can walk, pain under control, its best to recoup at home. Hospitals do not let you rest! You are on their schedule. Just when you can finally sleep/rest, someone will come in to do or say something. He will also have those squeezing devices on legs to prevent clots, at least first day or so. They have a pump he'll hear when they squeeze. Some folks hate it, I loved it,made my legs feel good. I eventually got used to that sound.

He'll also be on a pain pump first day at least. He just has to press a button to get extra push of the dose of morphine or fetanyl. Also he has versed in his general anesthesia which has amnesiac features as side effects. So it may seem like he forgets what you just said or what he just said, but that will wear off soon.  My sister does a whole routine on how people like me act when on Versed. LOL. But I "forgot" I had a button to push for pain pump!!

Use the email portion of this site if you want further information or more personal talk. I will support you anytime!

Jan

marosa's picture
marosa
Posts: 332
Joined: Feb 2015

look at it this way; tomorrow he will be rid of that nasty tumor!  I remember my 5 weeks wait like a nightmare but when the day for the surgery arrived, I was sooo ready!  I don't mean I was not a bit scared, it feels surreal but I was realieved of having it come out!  Trust the medical team's skills and try as much as you possibly can to relax while waiting.  I trust to hear good news from you very, very soon!

PK_Chicago
Posts: 58
Joined: Mar 2012

My tumor was 14.5, they removed it, my left kidney, and 8 inches of my colon - all at the same time!  Yes - it was scary and yes my wife and I cried - but just think about getting tomorrow done with, then tackle the recovery, then getting back home, then getting to your "new normal".  Surgery was 5 years ago for me and I am feeling fine.  My scar is probably 30cm and I was home after 5 days in the hospital.

Stay strong!  He's gonna need you!

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

Soon it will be behind you 2. Make only positive thoughts.

Doggyrescuer's picture
Doggyrescuer
Posts: 1
Joined: Mar 2017

It is very natural to be nervous.  

I am a 62 year old woman who is now 6 days post surgery and I was a total mess prior.  I had a 7.7 cm tumor that was removed along with the right kidney.  The waiting was the worst part.  My family was my rock during that difficult time. I knew they were very scared too but they held it together for me.  Your husband needs you to be strong for him and the children. Take deep breaths and keep in mind that by tomorrow this time, surgery will be over, the tumor will be gone and he will be on the road to recovery.

I am doing very well and saw my surgeon for a follow-up this morning. He was amazed at how far I've come in just 6 days. Recovery is hard at times but attitude means everything. 

 

 

icemantoo's picture
icemantoo
Posts: 3217
Joined: Jan 2010

Doggyrescuer,

 

Start a new forum topic and tell us about your self so we can give you a proper welcome.

 

Icemantoo

Srashedb
Posts: 482
Joined: Dec 2013

Evelyn: as the spouse of the patient, I can truly relate to you. My husband's nephrectomy came after a laminectomy for mets to the spine and a subsequent 16-day stay for intestinal blockage. So, the nephrectomy was a walk in the park. 

I well remember the laminectomy, the embolization the night before and the wait which was blessedly shorter than anticipated. I was initially alone but then joined by my sister-in-law, mother-in-law and son joined me which was needed for the first night in ICU. He received 10 transfusions and experienced intense pain until the right narcotic combo was found. I am sorry that you will be alone tomorrow and you will be in my thoughts. Think of this not as doomsday but as your first step to health. And, if possible, stay connected with us here.

my best wishes 

Sarah

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

Thank you so much! All of your words made me way more positive and hopeful! I am awake and ready to take the drive to the hospital to get him admitted and have surgery! Threw up twice but I am tough and I will be strong for him! I am glad our kids are staying home so they don't see me break down after they take him!

CRashster's picture
CRashster
Posts: 230
Joined: Mar 2017

Don't break down, he'llbe fine. Yes, it's scary, but they are probably saving his life. You have to let them work. He needs you and wants you to be strong.

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mar 2014

Thinking of you both and wishing you the very best. He'll be fine once they remove it. It's the waiting and the anxiety that's the worst. Hang in there! Hugs.

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

I am waiting! He is having the kidney embolization done! I can see him after before surgery! I wonder how long it takes.... I am shaking and scared! 

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mar 2014

It's normal to be scared. I was so scared when my husband was having his colon resectioned and he was scared for me when I had my nephrectomy. Sometimes I don't know who has it worse; the person getting it done or the one waiting while it's being done.

Deanie0916
Posts: 259
Joined: Nov 2016

It might be more difficult for our loved ones in the surgery waiting than the patient who is out of it and not worried at all...I am 6 months from an open nephrectomy to remove a 20 cm tumor and I am doing well. Hoping and praying your hubby will recover and heal up soon.

Jojo61's picture
Jojo61
Posts: 1310
Joined: Oct 2013

Hi Wife,

I hope that you are holding up okay. I know your husband's surgery is today. It is rough for both of you, but hang on, because you will get through this!

Your husband will be sore - even more so because he is having the open surgery. But after today, each day will get better. Please stay focussed on that.

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way!

Jojo

beemurguia's picture
beemurguia
Posts: 57
Joined: Mar 2017

I hope that your husband had a successfull surgery! and that you are now breathing and more at ease! Wishing ya'll well! We are all sending good vibes! 

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mar 2014

Yes, hope all went well. Anxious to hear how your husband is doing.

JerzyGrrl's picture
JerzyGrrl
Posts: 760
Joined: Jun 2016

Sending continued cyber hugs your way...

damatken
Posts: 16
Joined: Dec 2014

I have followed your husbands journey and prayed for some direction.  Please know my prayers will continue as he recovers.  Do keep up posted.  Much love!

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

Surgery was a success! They removed a 21 cm and 10.5 lbs large tunour along with his left kidney and one lymph node! We were worried about so many other things like his bowels, his spleen and more! But all was good! He is recovering well and might even be sent home tomorrow! I am so thinkful to have found this forum as I am blessed to have had you all with your encouraging words! I could have not done this without you guys! I will keep you all posted on our recovery! <3

Srashedb
Posts: 482
Joined: Dec 2013

Evelyn:

that was a huge tumor but so wonderful to have it out and behind you; thank you for letting us kn. Now, get some solid rest before the patient goes home.

Sarah

amyjoe23
Posts: 14
Joined: Apr 2016

I am so happy to hear your good news. My husband had a 13 cm tumor, but they were unable to remove it. It spread so fast within a 6 week period after diagnosis. No one would touch it. We live in SW MO, and even made the trip to St. Louis to have it removed. They ended up removing a tumor from his spine instead. 

Steve.Adam's picture
Steve.Adam
Posts: 460
Joined: Oct 2016

Thank you for posting the update. I was also worried, because of the size of the thing.

You seem to be feeling better too. That's great.

Steve.

Bay Area Guy's picture
Bay Area Guy
Posts: 385
Joined: Jun 2016

Good news!  Just make sure he follows all the doctor's instructions and, when they tell him to walk, get him to walk!

foxhd's picture
foxhd
Posts: 3183
Joined: Oct 2011

nothing but positive energy leading to a routine recovery and long life ahead. Good for u guys.

APny's picture
APny
Posts: 1946
Joined: Mar 2014

Great news! So happy it's over and he's on his way to recovery. All the very best to both of you!

Moonali
Posts: 5
Joined: Apr 2017

Hi ! Got to know know about my husband's RCC a day after confirmation of our pregnancy . He has a 10*13cm  tsize tumor. Chest and brain are clear . no metastatis found anywhere in the body. We are yet to get his surgeru date. 

I am worried that it may get worsen in this waiting period. How to deal with this and what was your waiting period and stage of RCC. 

thanks 

Ree_Maryland's picture
Ree_Maryland
Posts: 157
Joined: May 2014

Hi Moon. soon it will be over . I found out I had RCC on MARCH 4th , had right neph, had to take the kidney. The surgery was not until April 21st ,ugh so a long time to be worried which I did not need to be . the tumor grew very slow over several years .Had my scans last week and doing great. I forget I had surgery till the week of the next appt than I panic. but doing great now .Wishing your and your family the best . Keep us posted .

Deanie0916
Posts: 259
Joined: Nov 2016

So happy to hear that it went well! Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way. That was a big ole tumor, aren't you glad it is gone? Woo hoo!

Jan4you's picture
Jan4you
Posts: 1320
Joined: Oct 2013

Thanks for the update. As you can see WE CARE!

Now no more worrying about the what ifs=waste of energy needed to LIVE TODAY!!

Healing hugs to you both!

Jan

Wife of kidney cancer fighter's picture
Wife of kidney ...
Posts: 43
Joined: Mar 2017

this is the most amazing group of people! I am truly blessed to have found this page as you all are amazing! through all the dark nights and tears I had you to fall on! Thank you! 

JTgreybeard's picture
JTgreybeard
Posts: 22
Joined: Mar 2017

Sending love your way.  Prayers 

Mighty Frog's picture
Mighty Frog
Posts: 138
Joined: Jul 2017

 Rest well and speedy recovery....Be strong....

Ironicallyvague's picture
Ironicallyvague
Posts: 5
Joined: Aug 2017

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