Scared wife

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Wife of kidney cancer fighter
Wife of kidney cancer fighter Member Posts: 41
in Emotional Support #1

My husband was diagnosed last week with kidney cancer! My world broke apart! We have 3 children.... 18, 23 and 5! His cancer thus far has not spread and is confined to his left kidney in a tumour the size of a large grapefruit! The surgery we are waiting for is massive and his doc told us how dangerous it is! I am terrified and so scared!

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  • JerzyGrrl
    JerzyGrrl Member Posts: 760 Member
    #2
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    The C-word

    The C-word diagnosis is enough to send anyone reeling, patient, family, and/or friends. I was writing the rough draft of my obituary right after I got the news, but that was way more than just a tad premature.  I think some of my friends and family were already picking out what they were going to bring to the potluck after my service: Also premature.  I'd say "Try to relax," but that's easier said than done. So I guess I'll encourage you to do your best not to get worked up any more than you already have -- and slowly work on the "relax" part. 

    That his cancer had the good manners to not spread is a real plus.  The first line of response with RCC (Renal Cell Carcinoma) is surgery.  If it hasn't spread, it may never spread, and this will be all that's needed. Patients who've had an RCC tumor removed generally get monitored closely with CT and/or ultrasound scans post-surgery. That way, should any cells go on walkabout, the team will catch it quickly and respond while it's still small. RCC is not the death sentence it once was, not even close to it. 

    I'm sorry the doctor emphasized how dangerous the surgery is (He loses points for delivery, I'm afraid). Of course it's tricky surgery, but they're trained and experienced to deal with that sort of thing.  That's why they're surgeons and that's why surgeons have specialties. Write down any questions you and he may have, and be sure to take them -- and a pad and pencil -- to appointments.  If you think of something after an appointment, you can always call with your question. Some health care teams even have an on-line portal system so patients can communicate. 

    Do you have some good supportive people to help you? When you go to the hospital for his surgery, it's really helpful to have someone with you while you wait. The best kind of folks are the ones that aren't in to drama and can be good listeners and supporters. Remember to eat healthy foods (you might want to pack some snacks for the hospital), drink water, exercise, do what you normally do to de-stress. That's good when you're NOT at the hospital, too.  The kidney cancer group here has got your back (his too), at least on a cyber level. 

    Keep us posted --

    Jerzy

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    edited March 2017 #3
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    Kidney Cancer

    My youngest son was diagnosed with kidney cancer 8 years ago.  He was 41 at the time with small children.  After all testing was done, he was told no spread.  They removed his kidney and he had no chemo or radiation and today he is clear.  He did good with surgery and was in the hospital for 4 days.  Every time he has a problem, he is scared to death that his cancer has come back because he was told he had the aggressive kidney cancer, but so far so good.  Every test has been clear except now they are watching a cyst on his sciatic nerve but they don't seem too concerned about it as it hasn't grown in 2 years. 

    Any type of surgery is dangerous and they have to tell you that upfront because of all the complications that can arise.  It is only a warning and nothing more.  Any type of surgery carries the chance of complications, even simple surgeries carry the risk of complications.

    Wishing you and your family peace and comfort.

  • GTHOJ08
    GTHOJ08 Member Posts: 11 Member
    #4
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    Don't be scared, have to stay

    Don't be scared, have to stay strong.  I know how this feels.. my dad has stage 4 colon cancer and we are trying out best to be brave, sometimes we have no other choice but to be strong.  I pray that you and your family will be watched over in this time of need.  Just be there for your husband, he needs all the support he can.  My siblings and I took it rough finding out about our dad but I'm sure your kids will be hurt too but they need to continue with schooling and just know that they are making their dad proud no matter what.  Remind your husband and let your kids remind their dad how much he means to you guys and how much you guys love him, that'll ease the pain a bit.

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