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There is good in all this

janaes
Posts: 800
Joined: May 2016

So its day 6 of my second chemo.  I come to this forum alot because it has been a great sourse to dump my negative feelings alot and im greatful i can do that.  I do feel like i come across as a negative person though. I wanted to send a post of the blessings that have come my way.  Yesterday i had my mom over.  She helped me with some dishes i was hoping to do but didnt get to.  although my mom and me had some hard feelings shared the night before, i feel greatful she still came over to help.  i felt like i might be catching a cold so i decided to not go to church  and e around a big croud and my mom took my kids for me. what a blessing.  To my surprise, that night a friend called me and told me she had some soup her husband was making and wanted to know if we wanted some.  she brought it over and now i have soup in my house for a while.  Thanks every one for all you support in this journey

EZLiving66's picture
EZLiving66
Posts: 1436
Joined: Oct 2015

I think it's sometimes hard to see the good in cancer.  Of course, I wish it didn't exist, but it is what it is and I'm not going to let it ruin the rest of my life.  I watched my mother "wish away" her life.  She always felt like she was just out there, whipping in the wind and never was able to see cause and effect.  Her motto was "With my luck when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport."  I tried to get her to see that everything she felt was because of her attitude.  I firmly believe this and my motto is "You can't control the wind but you can adjust your sails."  

I don't think you're a negative person, Jana.  It's hard to come to grips with cancer and all its unknowns.  I think you're doing a great job!!  (((Jana)))

Love,

Eldri

beccabtown's picture
beccabtown
Posts: 234
Joined: May 2016

Thanks for the nice post. My cancer has brought my family closer and has made me aware of just how much my friends care about me. As much as I wish I didn't have cancer, I consider those to be positive things that have come from it.

TeddyandBears_Mom's picture
TeddyandBears_Mom
Posts: 1687
Joined: Jun 2015

Jana, so glad you are feeling better. And, you do not come across as negative. Cancer and treatments are not easy to deal with.  There is a silver lining and it seems to be a build up of wonderful relationships occurs often. I know that was the case for me. And, 6 months post chemo... the stronger bonds are still alive and well.  Plus, just look at all the new friends you have found here! :-)

Love and Hugs,

Cindi

 

 

janaes
Posts: 800
Joined: May 2016

Thanks all three of you for your good and kind words.  20 years ago when i had cancer i seemed to not have negative feelings to share.  I felt very greatful for what people did for me at the time.  No! didnt like what i had to do but didnt feel a need to share my negative feelings.  i contibuted that to the fact that i felt so supported by my family and friends.  It was so long ago so i dont remember everything but im sure i talked about  having cancer and probably complained at times.  I just remember feeling greatful most of the time.  So im trying to figure out still why i have a hard time sometimes.  Its normal I know.  It has helped so much to come here and share.  I feel so greatful and often feel i couldnt do this with out you guys.  I love you guys.  Its so good to know that its okay to struggle.  I was a home mom for 12 years and was glad i did that.  It was really hard to go back to work after all those years.  I accually thought about it for years before i did it.  my job came at a good time and it really worked for my scedule. I worked when my kids were at school. At the time i got the job i was so thrilled that i got it.  I was jumping around the house saying, " i got a job!  I got a job!  Once i applyed for the job the job fell right into my lap pretty much.  I went to the interview not expecting to get the job.  two days later i got a call saying i got the job.  I was trilled especially since previosly to applying for the job i had a pretty low self esteem when it came to getting and keeping a job.  I had told myself for a long time that i wouldnt beable to get or do a job.  The job isnt a perfect job and I definetly found thinks i didnt like but it did   and does mean alot me.  I think that is why me getting cancer  was so hard. I dont want to loose my job even for a short time.  My husband and i seperated a while after i got the job.  It worked out that we divorced and so i was really glad I had a job.   So some times i feel frustrated that i have cancer and am being effected by the treatments.  Ive been feeling dizzy since mt 2nd treaatment.  i called my nurse and i am doing all the right things exceti might need a little more fuid in me.  10 or so more onces a day.  I am my trying eggshell membraine for my joint pain in my legs.  maybe there is still hope.  I have my third treatment before i start work so maybe i can work out this dizzyness before then.  Ive talked to my nurse about changing my chemo days on thursday so my worst days will be on the weekend when i dont work. 

MAbound
Posts: 1086
Joined: Jun 2016

You are doing better than you give yourself credit for. No one expects you to be cheerful going through chemo, but I'm sure you have your good moments as well as the bad ones like the rest of us. It's such a roller coaster, isn't it? 

 

Kvdyson's picture
Kvdyson
Posts: 789
Joined: Jan 2016

Having a solid support network of even just a couple of people can make all the difference. It is so nice that your neighbors and your mother are reaching out to you and that it has made a positive difference in your life. I will work to internalize that lesson and also pay-it-forward for those around me who are in need of assistance. Thank you for sharing and keep thinking positive! Kim

janaes
Posts: 800
Joined: May 2016

Thank you so very much MAbound and Kim.  Your love encouragment and support means so much to me right now.  Thank you Thank you Thank you

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