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my wife

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1179
Joined: Apr 2012

I have been asked to give an update regarding my wife and myself.  To start with the best part,My wife turned 80 back in March. Yessterday, we celebrated our 57th wedding aniversary!!!  Unfortunately. she has been in a nursing home for the last 18 months .  Currently with late stage alzheimers.  Her normal weight was about 120 lbs. She currently weighs only 55 lbs.  Neither I nor her doctor expect her to make it to Christmas.  I visit her from 4 to 7 times a week. Sometimes she knows me,and other times she doesn't.  I am reconciled to the situation, but find it hard to bare  non-the-less.  I hope she soon goes to heaven.  We will al loose our spouse eventually.   Knowing this doesn't make it any easier.  I recently had my last colonoscopy.  Still NED.  I think the Lord had me survive it all so I could take care of my wife.  He does indeed take care of us all. Good luck to you all with your situation. May you all become Ned and live into your 80's as I have.

gravelroad
Posts: 50
Joined: Oct 2013

I want to thank you Danker for being a very loving husband and having the insight to know that there are so many things we do to identify ourselfs as the person we were created to be. Most people may never notice the things in life that really matter , like saying a kind word to someone just to make them feel better. You seem like that kind of person Danker. Visiting your wife even when you think perhaps she does not know you , even if she really does not know you on that day , you show you have not forgotten her . That shows the type of person you are ( you know your there even if she does not) Sickness and just plain old age rob us of so many special things , so just remember your beautiful wife in the memories you made together and the life you shared together. There are better days ahead for all of us , I just wanted to write and say THANK-YOU DANKER !!! There needs to be more people in the world like you!!! GOD BLESS

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1179
Joined: Apr 2012

Your comments embaress me, but thank you.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4784
Joined: Jan 2013

My mother had Alzheimers for about eight years. By the end, she was unable to do anything herself, she had forgotten even how to feed herself.  For me, my mum was already gone long before she died, and when she did pass, I did not mourn. It was a blessed release for her, and I realized that I had mourned her loss many years before. 

You are a wonderful, dedicated, loving husband.  I know it seems she may not know you, outwardly, but I bet her spirit knows you are there. 

The last time I saw mum alive, she couldn't speak, and had that awful vacant look. As I said my goodbye, I knew I would not see her in this life again. I looked into her eyes, and our spirits touched. No words, but I knew without a doubt that she had felt my spriit and I certainly felt hers. 

I pray that your dear wife will slip into eternity and there wait until your go to join her. It will be a short time for her, but I'm hoping that in our timeline (I believe Heaven's time line is allot different than ours) that will be many years. 

Thank you so much for this update. 

P.S. my goal is to live until I"m 88. That sounds like a good age.

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1179
Joined: Apr 2012

On a tour of England,Scotlald,and Wales my wife and I met a bunch of Aussies.  I'll never forget what one of them told us.  With a tape measure in milimeters,1-100,Put your left thumb at your current age.  Put your right thumb at the age you expect to die,in your case 88.  All the part hanging down from your left thumb is gone!!!! And your two thumbs keep getting closer together.

LOL is all I can say.

Trubrit's picture
Trubrit
Posts: 4784
Joined: Jan 2013

Well I've certainly got more hanging that I do between my thumbs. 

I hope you enjoyed your trip around the UK.  I'm still hoping the Doc will clear me to go in September/October.

wolfen's picture
wolfen
Posts: 1318
Joined: Apr 2009

Ron and I fell a bit short of your milestone at only 41 years when I lost him last year but like you, he would have taken care of me until the end as I did for him. It is very special to have that kind of relationship and I know how very sad this must be for you both.

May you and your wife enjoy your remaining together whenver that is possible.

Luv,

Wolfen 

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3323
Joined: Jan 2010

Thank you for the update on your dear wife and yourself.

I hope that on your anniversary you were able to remind her of many wonderful events in your shared life. 

I know how difficult it is to see the decline of a loved one.  Alzheimers took a cousin of mine.  In her last years, she only knew her husband as that nice man who came to see her.  The life that they shared and the family they raised were no longer part of her memories.

You are a good man and husband to her, especially when her memory no longer recognizes you.  It cannot be easy.

Our mourning for a loved one with a lingering illness begins long before the last breath.

The Lord may have left you here for her, but He has also left you here for us.

May the Lord watch over you both.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

 

 

 

LindaK.
Posts: 490
Joined: Apr 2013

Dan, you have followed your vows for 57 years - quite an accomplishment these days.  My mother also suffers from Alzheimers and my father cares for her in their home, which is getting more and more difficult.  They will celebrate their 60th anniversary next month, but it will just be a small celebration with our immediate family.  You have so kindly reached out to many of us, including me, which I greatly appreciate.  You are a good man, God's plan for you is evident.

Linda

janderson1964
Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

Thank you for the update. You are a wonderful loving and caring man.

Hopeful0524
Posts: 22
Joined: Jun 2014

It is my privilage to "know" you.  You are the better generation that we all shoudl try to emulate.  You are an example of humanity that we should all strive to be.

Thank you for your post, and I wish you all the peace and love you deserve.  You are a loving husband, and to have made it to 57 years of marriage is a testament that your wife is an awesome wife too.

Please keep us updated.  I look forward to reading your posts.

Love,

Hopeful

danker's picture
danker
Posts: 1179
Joined: Apr 2012

Thank you all for your kind words!

Phil64's picture
Phil64
Posts: 835
Joined: Apr 2012

Danker, I also thank you for being a good role model for me.

I hope I can follow your example in tough times.

I pray that God bless and keep you and your wife forever.

Love and Light to you today.

Philip

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

 

Dan,

I'm so sorry that your dear wife is reaching the end of her life's journey with you; but I'm sure it was filled with much love and happiness during those 57 years together.  I wish you both peace and comfort in the days ahead.

All my best,

Cynthia

Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

Everyone should have a Dan in their life!  To be loved so unconditionally is gift indeed. Blessings on you and your wife. What a love story!

CM

Helen321's picture
Helen321
Posts: 1388
Joined: May 2012

Danker you are one of the reasons I really believe we can all achieve NED. It keeps me going forward. Congratulations to 57 years. I can't imagine how hard it is for you seeing your wife go through so much and I'm glad she has you by her side.

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