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how do you calm the fear?

catluver96's picture
Posts: 73
Joined: Jan 2013

I'm afraid of my thoughts and feelings. Afraid when I lay down to sleep, the feeling I'm living in a nightmare will overwhelm me. 


Duggie88's picture
Posts: 703
Joined: Feb 2010

Our minds can be a good thing when they work with us, and bad when they go off of their own. I certainly realize saying you have to control your thoughts is easier said than done. During my battle I would think about my grandchildren alot and most times at night when trying to sleep when when my mind wouldn't slow, being a woodworker I would build a piece of furniture in my mind as a way to gain control of my thoughts. Hope this helps.

Thoughts and Prayers


catluver96's picture
Posts: 73
Joined: Jan 2013

a comfort to see a reply in the middle of the night. Thank you.

Posts: 1914
Joined: May 2012

Hello Vicki !

Just knowing that someone else has walked this path before you can help a bit.  You need to find that inner strenghth that will help you through these crappy times.  I'm not sure where you live.....but I can tell you cabin fever has set in here something terrible !  I can't wait til the snow is gone and I can get out to the lake once again and just sit and listen to nature talk to me.  That's where I find my calm and can let things go. 

Also I'm not going to sugar coat this either.  If you need to seek proffessional help by someone who understands our walk through cancer don't hesitate to do it !  It can be so overwhelming that it takes a little piece of us away day by day.  Don't allow it to.  I do validate your feelings Vicki.  Trust me I do understand.  Know we are here always for you, and you never ever walk alone !  Hugs sent !  Katie  

MarineE5's picture
Posts: 907
Joined: Dec 2005


Jeff hit on a good point that worked for me most of the time. One wise person told me a long time ago that what we think, controls how we feel, and how we feel controls how we react. So, as Jeff mentioned, he would think of woodworking. This is the key of our getting out of the slump and moving forward. I would think of the grandkids, and remember the little projects I would have them involved in. Started making a list of things that I wanted to do with them the next time I was with them, etc.

Hobbies or anything that you enjoy, even if it is relaxing and reading a book. As it was stated, this is easier said then done, but time is what works the best. I found that the further out from treatment I was, the less I looked over my shoulder with the fear of the cancer coming back and concentrated on what I could do the next day. I take each day as it is given, do what you can when you can, pace yourself. It just takes a little tweeking to adjust to our "New Normal".

My Best to You and Everyone Here

Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8286
Joined: Sep 2009

No idea with the circumstances you are in at the moment....

You might want to seek some groups, consultaion, etc.... But in addition, perhaps a Rx for anxiety meds also, like xanax, activan..., something to help with the fears, anxiety...

Prayers your way,


CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4296
Joined: May 2012



When I first had cancer and on the occasion of my mind racing at bedtime, I would take a Lorazapam to slow me down and get to sleep.  I know you said you do not do well with certain meds, so maybe a talk with your doctor can help figure out what might work for you.

I hope you find some mental and physical relief and remain hopeful.



KB56's picture
Posts: 312
Joined: Apr 2013

Vicki, i'm sure some of what your feeling is normal and we all cope in different ways.    When the mind starts racing it's sometimes really hard to get it to slow down.  Have a conversation with your doctor and I'm sure they can do something to help.  


debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

vicki, this just breaks my heart.  i wish there was an easy solution but i'm afraid there isn't.  i think for now you may need to try meds.  there are so many, there must be one you can take without side effects.  please talk to your doctor so you can calm down and aliviate some of the fear. i understand your feelings and i sympathize with you, just wish i could help.  if you decide to talk to your doc, let us know how it comes out.  praying for you and your fears.

God bless you and comfort you,


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