how do you calm the fear?

catluver96
catluver96 Member Posts: 73
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I'm afraid of my thoughts and feelings. Afraid when I lay down to sleep, the feeling I'm living in a nightmare will overwhelm me. 

Vicki

Comments

  • Duggie88
    Duggie88 Member Posts: 760 Member
    #2
    Our minds can be a good thing

    Our minds can be a good thing when they work with us, and bad when they go off of their own. I certainly realize saying you have to control your thoughts is easier said than done. During my battle I would think about my grandchildren alot and most times at night when trying to sleep when when my mind wouldn't slow, being a woodworker I would build a piece of furniture in my mind as a way to gain control of my thoughts. Hope this helps.

    Thoughts and Prayers

          Jeff

  • catluver96
    catluver96 Member Posts: 73
    #3
    Duggie88 said:

    Our minds can be a good thing

    Our minds can be a good thing when they work with us, and bad when they go off of their own. I certainly realize saying you have to control your thoughts is easier said than done. During my battle I would think about my grandchildren alot and most times at night when trying to sleep when when my mind wouldn't slow, being a woodworker I would build a piece of furniture in my mind as a way to gain control of my thoughts. Hope this helps.

    Thoughts and Prayers

          Jeff

    yes, it helps. thank you

    a comfort to see a reply in the middle of the night. Thank you.

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #4
    Just knowing

    Hello Vicki !

    Just knowing that someone else has walked this path before you can help a bit.  You need to find that inner strenghth that will help you through these crappy times.  I'm not sure where you live.....but I can tell you cabin fever has set in here something terrible !  I can't wait til the snow is gone and I can get out to the lake once again and just sit and listen to nature talk to me.  That's where I find my calm and can let things go. 

    Also I'm not going to sugar coat this either.  If you need to seek proffessional help by someone who understands our walk through cancer don't hesitate to do it !  It can be so overwhelming that it takes a little piece of us away day by day.  Don't allow it to.  I do validate your feelings Vicki.  Trust me I do understand.  Know we are here always for you, and you never ever walk alone !  Hugs sent !  Katie  

  • MarineE5
    MarineE5 Member Posts: 1,034 Member
    #5
    We look over our shoulders for awhile

    Vicki,

    Jeff hit on a good point that worked for me most of the time. One wise person told me a long time ago that what we think, controls how we feel, and how we feel controls how we react. So, as Jeff mentioned, he would think of woodworking. This is the key of our getting out of the slump and moving forward. I would think of the grandkids, and remember the little projects I would have them involved in. Started making a list of things that I wanted to do with them the next time I was with them, etc.

    Hobbies or anything that you enjoy, even if it is relaxing and reading a book. As it was stated, this is easier said then done, but time is what works the best. I found that the further out from treatment I was, the less I looked over my shoulder with the fear of the cancer coming back and concentrated on what I could do the next day. I take each day as it is given, do what you can when you can, pace yourself. It just takes a little tweeking to adjust to our "New Normal".

    My Best to You and Everyone Here

  • KB56
    KB56 Member Posts: 318 Member
    #6
    Fear

    Vicki, i'm sure some of what your feeling is normal and we all cope in different ways.    When the mind starts racing it's sometimes really hard to get it to slow down.  Have a conversation with your doctor and I'm sure they can do something to help.  

    Keith

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #7
    vicki, this just breaks my

    vicki, this just breaks my heart.  i wish there was an easy solution but i'm afraid there isn't.  i think for now you may need to try meds.  there are so many, there must be one you can take without side effects.  please talk to your doctor so you can calm down and aliviate some of the fear. i understand your feelings and i sympathize with you, just wish i could help.  if you decide to talk to your doc, let us know how it comes out.  praying for you and your fears.

    God bless you and comfort you,

    dj

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #8
    Circumstances...

    No idea with the circumstances you are in at the moment....

    You might want to seek some groups, consultaion, etc.... But in addition, perhaps a Rx for anxiety meds also, like xanax, activan..., something to help with the fears, anxiety...

    Prayers your way,

    John

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #9
    i took a pill

     

    Vicki,

    When I first had cancer and on the occasion of my mind racing at bedtime, I would take a Lorazapam to slow me down and get to sleep.  I know you said you do not do well with certain meds, so maybe a talk with your doctor can help figure out what might work for you.

    I hope you find some mental and physical relief and remain hopeful.

    Matt

     

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