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Still fighting, but starting to take some bruises

Doc_Hawk's picture
Posts: 685
Joined: Jan 2012

Please pardon the copy and paste from an email I sent to family and friends.  So here goes!

This is the email that I've dreaded writing for three years, ever since I first wrote to tell you I had cancer.  I can't say for certain that I I'm dying, but I am getting very, very weak.  Warning: The following is pretty graphic, but if you want to know how bad things are it's important not to skip.  There was an incident a few days ago where I was getting off of the toilet and got to a a halfway standing position and couldn't get up past a crouch.  By time I go into my bedroom my canes were on the ground and I was crawling down the hall.  Of course, my cell phone was dead a getting a charge.   The life alert necklace I wear around my neck, dangling unforgotten.  I don't know how long after that, but the nurse came in to change my diaper (yes I've had to have nursing care for some time) and it was full of blood.  And when I say full of blood, I mean slasher flick amounts.  During all of this, my oxygen level dropped to about 70% while 90 or above is desirable..!  The nurse made the comment to my sis that left untreated, I would have died within 12 - 16 hours.  Happy Fourth of July.  
Well my friends, that's about all.  Lu is well, better than me in fact!
Well May God Bless and keep you all
MaryCarol5's picture
Posts: 102
Joined: May 2013

So sorry to hear what you are going through but also so glad you have the strength to check in here.  So many, as you know, have been worried and praying for you!  Rest, stay strong and know that continued prayers are being sent up for you! 


Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5513
Joined: Jan 2013

I have been so anxious this week to hear either from you or of your friends. 

How horrific to have bled so much and be unoncious of it.  Shall we dangle the Life Aler from your ear? 

So very thankful that the nurse came and found you.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to post, and we don't care about it being from an email. Any news from you means that you are still fighting.


fatbob2010's picture
Posts: 467
Joined: May 2012


Good to hear from you...Glad that you still have some fight left, despite the bruising.  

I wish you comfort and peace Doc.


lp1964's picture
Posts: 1240
Joined: Jun 2013

You don't know me, because I'm just at the beginning of my treatment. But I wanted to wish you the best possible outcome and send you support.


Cathleen Mary
Posts: 827
Joined: May 2011

Thanks so much for posting, Doc.  You have been on my mind and in my heart and and prayer. So sorry that you are having such a rough time of it. I hope for strength and relief so you can enjoy a bit of each day.

Thinking of you,

Cathleen Mary

tootsie1's picture
Posts: 5065
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, dear. So sorry to hear about this. Praying for you!




karguy's picture
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry to hear the news,but you can't give up.In 2008 I had my first tumor,I got a colosomy from that one.Last year I had to get a liver resection for another tumor.I just got out of the hospital from having a tumor removed from inside my spine.I will not give up.You should keep fighting even with a few bruises.Just never give up,I will keep praying for you,and will try to send all the strength I can.

Posts: 509
Joined: Sep 2012

Sending you strength and well wishes as you battle your bruises.  So glad to hear your nurse arrived to help you through ... 


My best to you  

joemetz's picture
Posts: 493
Joined: Nov 2011


You're one awesome guy. You helped me 2 years ago when I was first diagnosed and your advice, ideas and your comments have always been spot on and very helpful.

Thank you for all you've done for me and for others here at CSN.

One day, God will bless you with eternal life without pain and suffering.  I just hope it's not for a while. But, if its this month or next year, please know that you have touched many many lives and your sharing of your experience, although graphic for some to read, again... you are helping all of us Cancer Fighters.

Virtual hugs for strength and for happiness forever.




tanstaafl's picture
Posts: 1303
Joined: Oct 2010
Thanks so much for thinking of us and letting us know, Ray. Sorry that you are having such a tough time with the slasher "fireworks display". I hope they've got that straightened out.  On this 4 of July, I salute you.  
annalexandria's picture
Posts: 2573
Joined: Oct 2011

we miss you here.  AA

wawaju04976's picture
Posts: 316
Joined: Dec 2012

This experience shows what a fighter/survivor you are!!!


Posts: 308
Joined: Mar 2012

Have not been able to connect in awhile and have been anxious for you and thinking of you each day! Your strength is an inspiration to me.


Posts: 199
Joined: Nov 2012

Oh, Doc...so sorry to hear about your struggles.  Hang in there.  Sending strong positive thoughts your way!


KathiM's picture
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

We have your back, dearest....just worried when we didn't hear....please, if you can, post occasionally....


BIG warm hugs, Kathi

herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

Been worried about you, glad you posted. 

Gladder that the nurse showed up in time to save you!  My goodness how scary.

keep reminding yourself that you have that life alert thing around your neck so you will remember if there is a next time you need it.

Thinking about you dear man.

Winter Marie

Maxiecat's picture
Posts: 544
Joined: Jul 2012

DoC...you have been in my thoughts.   I have been away from the board for a few weeks and when I came back...you were one of the people that I most wanted to check up on.  I am so gla Ethan that nurse found you.   No one should have to go through this alone.  Tha k you for sharing what yare have gone through..this is life....part of all of us.   You are one tough cookie and we are all better people for knowing you.  I hope you get your strength back soon...you are a fighter...I hope you are feeling better new.



Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5513
Joined: Jan 2013

This was your last post to us, Doc.  We all mourn your loss to the message boards. 

One bruise to many. 

Fare thee well, good man. 

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