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Can't find the words

Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

I have been doing alot of pondering lately to post or not to post, but here it goes many of you have been through this and some unfortuneately will have to make the same choice as my DH and I have lately.  Saw the oncologist on Wednesday and the "H" word came out of her mouth!!  As much as one tries to wrap there head around such a thought it just does not sit easy.  There are no more treatments availale and my DH's liver functions are horrible, along with swollen feet and ascites.  ""H"ospice is coming out for a visit this week.  I guess I don't mind them visiting, but the thought of them taking over his care so he can leave this world........denial! YES!.  I know I have to face it, but it is just so very hard.  So many of you have been such an outstanding source of comfort and information through all of this, and I cannot thank you enough.  I pray everyday for each and everyone of you and now I ask that you return the favor in kind.  Thank you.  Kim

Posts: 1607
Joined: Aug 2012

So sorry Kim.  No advice or words of wisdom, but you are in my prayers and thoughts.

Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

You're at the crossroad that we all dread. My thoughts are with you both. I have no advice, just sad that you're in this situation. Be strong.


thingy45's picture
Posts: 633
Joined: Apr 2011

My thoughts are with you. It always comes down to choices and when the time is right I am sure you will make the right choice.

You also have to think about yourself, caring for someone is very draining and difficult.

I wish you strength,

Hugs, Marjan

wolfen's picture
Posts: 1329
Joined: Apr 2009

My thoughts are with you. I truly know how difficult this must be for you. This does not mean that you are giving up. Hoping for a miracle for your hubby. Try hard to stray strong.



karguy's picture
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry you have to go through that.You will be in my prayers.

karguy's picture
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry you have to go through that.You will be in my prayers.

herdizziness's picture
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I am so sorry to hear your news.  try not to think of Hospice as taking over his care, but as helping you both cope with the best ways to help him feel better.  They are not just there to help one leave this world, but to help you both enjoy it as much as possible as well.  And the nice thing, if things change so much for the better, then they can just go away.  I know it's difficult Kim, no one ever wants to hear those words that there are no treatments left,it isn't easy to face.  Enjoy your time together, make more happy moments to remember.  Do not grieve for him now, he's still there with you save  that for later.  My heart and prayers go out to you both.

Winter Marie

Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5486
Joined: Jan 2013

What a wonderful, sensitive reply. 

LivinginNH's picture
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

As Winter Marie so nicely stated, cherish your present time together, and try not to think past the moment.  Now is the time to reminisce about all the good times and funny stories that you've shared.  Make time for quiet moments; hold his hand while you read to him, listen to your favorite music, or look at photo albums.  I hold you both in my heart during this very difficult time.

All my best,


steveandnat's picture
Posts: 887
Joined: Sep 2011

It has to be such a surprise when the hospice word comes up. We can only pray that a new medicine will surface quickly. My thoughts are with you and everyone around you. Jeff

Posts: 199
Joined: Nov 2012

I'm so sad to hear this news.  I do agree that they will be there to help you both cope with this.  I'm so sorry.  Prayers are being said for you both.


Trubrit's picture
Posts: 5486
Joined: Jan 2013

I honestly can't wait it better than what Winter Narie had  to say.

my thoughts and prayers are with you both.

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

My thoughts are with you and yours.   I know there must be a big ache in your heart that feels like it could burst, death is so hard.  You want to get into that person's sould and never let go.  


May he go in peace and may you have some comfort that he will no longer be in pain.  


May you continue your life's journey with a passion that I'm sure he would like you to have.  For now, just take him in.....


Big Hug!  

Coloncancerblows's picture
Posts: 296
Joined: Feb 2013

So sorry Kim.  I will be praying for you and your husband. 

angelsbaby's picture
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

sorry kim  you and yoru husband r in my thought s and prayers




barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Sorry to hear this report.
Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Posts: 188
Joined: Apr 2011

thank you all so very much for your kind words, thoughts and prayers.  Today is the day the social worker and nurse are coming for there visit.  I am a bag of very mixed emotions, as hard as it seems to be that we are in this position I have heard alot of good things about hospice and how helpful they can be.  Trying to stay positive and cherish every moment.  <3 Kim


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