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Therasphere next-brain mri clear again

barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Hello all:
Have been busy with neutoponic fevers on and off all last week and then an episode of night sweats here and there
between numerous nurse visits and finally urgent care to the er...feeling somewhat stronger.
I needed augmenting for sinus pain but it wasn't an infection.
Had a Ct last Fri., and brain MRI on Mon., and saw radiologist who reported no further mets. Luckily, I had a friend with me and was so relieved.We had Mexican food afterwards and talked about kids and life stuff. Good to get mind off cancer for a few hours
However, my cea has been dropping after 4 folfiri infusions but Ct revealed all other areas ok except liver lesions increased in size...ugh. We were watching a left lung module and it is stable.
New treatment plan is Therasphere for liver lesions...Int. Radiologists to call for consultation.

I know I am so fortunate to have options but I get so paralyzed with fear at times.
I won't be on systemic chemo until the theraspheres series is complete.
Have no clue what chemo will follow -I am KRAS mutant.

Trying to remain positive but lately I feel focus is always on treatment and what if's.
The emotionally component of cancer is overwhelming most of the time.,
I feel like a walking time bomb knowing chemo wasn't working -crazy!
Any encouraging words appreciated or sharing theraspheres experience.
I admire all your courageous stories...
Thank you for reading and allowing me to share.

devotion10's picture
Posts: 631
Joined: Jan 2010

Just fantastic news Barb. I am so pleased for you and I know you are relieved. The neutropenic fevers, night sweats, and an ER visit do sound burdensome but with a dropping CEA, those great test results, and the opportunity to have the new treatment plan for the liver lesions ... sounds very positive.

I hope that those with their encouraging stories will post here as I have no experience with the TheraSphere radiation.  There are some threads on the Liver cancer board, here is one http://csn.cancer.org/node/210836, surely there are others.

That paralyzing fear can't be easily dismissed. I know that you try to do a great deal for yourself to promote well-being with your golfing and exercise ... but, it is just so much to deal with and it never leaves you.  All I can offer is a big virtual hug and to send my positive thoughts your way.

Best to you Barb -- Cynthia



Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

I think overall everything is positive for you. Especially the MRI. BTW congrats on the clean MRI. I am glad you celebrated with a friend oversome Mexican food. You have to really savour moments like that. I have really learned to slow down and truly enjoy the moment when I am doing things I like.

It is so hard to get this disease out of your head. I have really struggled with it after my second recurrence. 

What helps me is diet and exercise. I know there is a lot of heated debate on here about alternatives. But part of the reason I spend the time and money on a radical diet as well as exercising is for piece of mind.I cant say it is keeping the cancer at bay but it makes me feel proactive in the fight. I cant just sit around and wait for the next scan.

I sometimes will hammer extra hard on my mountain bike when my mind is out of control. It meeks me feel like I am killing the cancer with every pedal stroke.

I hope that helps you in some way.

barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Thank you.

Yes, the yoga, riding my bike helps (its still cold in the Chicago area) mentally.
Have been so weak just haven't been able to do much in the house,etc....nor exercise.
I find the reflexology really helps neuropathy in my feet.

Hoping I'll be able to get back to work but taking it hour by hour.

Thank you for your support. You have helped me.


thxmiker's picture
Posts: 1282
Joined: Oct 2010

We are happy that you had great news.   Yes, this is a scary disease.  One would be weird if they were not scared. I have high anxiety when I go back for the test results.  Good or Bad we never know what the results will be.  Most of the time it is good news, but we can have the bad news any time. 


We re sending our thoughts and prayers for future good information!

Best Always,  mike

tachilders's picture
Posts: 313
Joined: Jun 2012

I'm so happy that you seem to be doing somewhat better.  I was VERY worried about you after the brain mets.  Can't lose my NW buddy!!!

barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Appreciate your support. Yes, with every report there is a glimmer or restart! Yes, brain met was such a surprise. Many friends did not understand why I couldn't talk about it. I am still selective. The urgent care and ed people were ok but the want to get you in and out. I hope no one gets brain mets. The decadron really took a toll on me. Now lets get some warm weather. I still have hopes of getting back to work....we 'll see. HUGs! Ted - did you go to Germany? I will keep everyone posted on the next step and hopefully all will work out.... I don't take anything for granted...

Thanks again and the best of health to you all.

Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

That sounds like really fantastic news.  Anxious to hear how the Theraspheres goes for you.  It's possible that my husband may be doing it, as well.



barbebarb's picture
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

How is your husband feeling? I hope much better. Hoping to get consultation next week and the Int. Rad. and other colleague. He did my lung biopsy and put my port in. I am not at Northwestern and at this point feel I can get same care as N. Western at the hospital I work at. (No, I am not a nurse) It was dissapointing to hear the oncologist say the folfiri has not worked systemically and this last weekend with fevers just beat me down. I am somewhat relieved this is an option and was relieved to have the lung nodule stable. My son is 23 and very supportive but I feel badly how much cancer has turned our lives around. Each new treatment makes my head spin. I try so hard to keep the hour by hour mantra going. As much as I'd love to go on a short trip and keep my bucket list crossed off there is so much daily life issues and bills to keep straight etc. Work is holding my job and I had so hoped to go back by now. Its all so consuming..emotionally I have no family support. I am an only child and my daughter is 21 and difficult. Anyways, I must keep my head in the game and hope for the best. I appreciate everyones comments and understanding. I hate this disease for all of us.
Will post once I have consultation.
Thank you - Barb>

Posts: 1170
Joined: Sep 2012

Steve is doing amazingly well. He's on the treadmill for an hour each day. Lots of energy. Looks good. Feels good. He's like a completely different person from the one I brought home from the hospital six weeks ago. Things are really good, right now. He goes for a scan May 8. If tumors (liver) have shrunk or are stable, they will go ahead with a two stage resection. If the scan shows progression, it will be TACE or Theraspheres.

I wish you had more support from your family. You must be tough as nails to deal with all this crap on your own. Well, you definitely have lots of cyber friends who are rooting for you!

Take care,

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