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Can not take much more

Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010

Hey guys,


I just needed to talk.  This was the worst Easter ever.  I was on my way home in my brand new truck I got New Year's Eve and an unlicensed uninsured driver ran a red light an totalaled my beautiful truck.  I have pulled muscles in my back, arm and shoulder.   I was after dark and raining.  I stood in the ran for over an hour now I have a really bad sore throat.  The insurance company is going to give me less for the truck then what I owe the bank.  I do not have the money to pay the loan off.  I know dad is going to have a ton of medical bills.  We are trying to get him on Medicaid, but still I am not sure how I am going to cover all of that.

I called the county about building the ramp for dad.  It is going to cost about a $100 dollars for the permit, pay someone to draw up plans and then over a $1000 for the ramp.  There is no medical insurance that will pay for this. 

Dad has not been doing therapy because the is sick on his stomach.  They have done every test and can find nothing wrong with him.  He does not want to do his therapy any more. He can hardly walk, so I know he will be coming home in a wheel chair.  The closer it gets to him coming home the more doubts i have about being able to care for him.  I am afraid I will not be able to work and care for him.  I am running out of days to take off.


I also have a feeling that in order to keep him home I am going to have to be there 24/7 and that will mean quiting my job.


Sorry to vent, just needed to talk


longtermsurvivor's picture
Posts: 1845
Joined: Mar 2010

Sorry to hear of all the problems.  You sound pretty much overwhelmed.  How much is social services involved with your dad right now?  In my case, the medical oncologist had an excellent social services staff.  They were real experts at helping bridge the gaps that came up.  If you haven't gone down that road, it is worth  looking for this type of advocate.


wishing you the best



debbiejeanne's picture
Posts: 3095
Joined: Jan 2010

katt, sorry to hear you have so many problems and are overwhelmed.  i agree that looking into social worker may be an option.  i'm afraid  i don't have much to offer just wanted you to know i will be praying for you and your dad.  try to hang in there and stay positive.  i know that's hard at times especailly with so many problems but please try.

God bless,


CivilMatt's picture
Posts: 4317
Joined: May 2012



I am really sorry about the truck, what a shame.


As for the ramp for your Dad, there are often local organizations which do just what you are asking, from permits, design, building material and construction. Unfortunately, you are on your own trying to track down your options.  If I was local I would be happy to lend a helping hand and I am sure you will have some luck finding help.


I am sorry your Dad is having such difficulties and I hope his condition smoothes out to work with you.



Grandmax4's picture
Posts: 709
Joined: Dec 2011

so sorry to hear of all your problems. In our town, the baptist church men go out and do jobs for the handicaped and disabled..they build ramps free..maybe contact a church?

Somehow, you're going to have to make Dad understand that you have to work, is your Dad able to draw SS or maybe SSI...so many problems on your shoulders, will keep you in prayer

peggylulu's picture
Posts: 375
Joined: Dec 2012

After I got my Mother on Medicaid ( she was totally bedridden) they paid a caregiver 8 hours a day and I was able to keep working. I later hired someone to take care of her at night ( it was to hard for me to work and get up with her , she had to be turned every two hours) and used her SS to pay them. I think the number of hours you get is based on how much you can do for your self. I hope this will relieve some of your stress and worry and that you will be able to keep your job. I couldn't afford to quit my job and lose my retirement. Good luck with medicaid.


Pumakitty's picture
Posts: 652
Joined: Mar 2010

I have been trying to work with the social worker, but I am not having much luck.  She tells me one thing and then something else the next time.  I am scheduled to meet with someone on Friday morning. 

I did have a talk with the insurance and they have increased what I am getting for my truck.  It will pay off my loan.  I contacted the local Access Independance office about assistance with a ramp.  I am waiting to here back from them.

Do any of you have any expereince with the temporay ramps and how they work.



hwt's picture
Posts: 2330
Joined: Jun 2012

I work in the insurance industry and can tell you that the owner (not necessarily the driver) ultimately has legal liability for the vehicle. So if the owner is other than the unlicensed uninsured driver you may have some options. Even if they are one and the same, if they have any assets, you could recover your losses.

Skiffin16's picture
Posts: 8286
Joined: Sep 2009

You might also check into local places like Home Depot, Lowes... Your local news channels..., usually there are always people and organizations that are willing to donate and help, they just need to become aware of need...

Thoughts & Prayers, John

phrannie51's picture
Posts: 4673
Joined: Mar 2012

I'm glad to hear the insurance company will at least pay off the loan, tho.  But I felt sick when I read this. 

Besides the social worker, what about getting in contact with the American Cancer Society (they may have an office in the hospital, they do here)....I'll bet there are cancer survivors out there....maybe retired....who can build a ramp.  There's a bunch of retired carpenters/contractors here who pick up work in our local Nickel Nik....but I'd bet they'd also do the job at a cut rate.  Don't know if there is a way around a permit (a permit for a ramp???  Wow, picky county Smile)....

Things are already looking up, so that's good.


tommyodavey's picture
Posts: 565
Joined: Nov 2011


I cannot offer any suggestions that haven't already been posted.  What I will say is, only focus on what you handle for one day, no more.  Just for today.  I'm sure you've heard that phrase but I wanted to remind you of it.  I know for me that whenever I feel like there is just too much to do, I have to pull back and figure out exactly what can be done in this day and then not worry about the tomorrows.  They will come and I will deal with them one day at a time.

Hope the venting helped.


Tim6003's picture
Posts: 1511
Joined: Nov 2011

Try this link (I don't know what State you live in) and see if there is someting there for your area..


I'm sorry you are having a time, easy to say do not let yourself get overwhelmed, so I won't say it ...but I did whisper a prayer you find a remedy on the ramp issue and some funding to help with your dad.



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