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Oct 29, 2012 - 9:46 pm
Well, it was not to be and my precious husband George Chris Gerges passed away cradled in my arms today like a newborn baby, 10/29/12 at 3:22 p.m. Our hearts are broken and we are totally devastated and lost. You come home knowing it is over and just walk from room to room not knowing what to do, it is heartbreaking, touches of him are everywhere. I had the monitors disconnected an a couple of hours or so before his passing and when I saw that he was only taking a few breaths, put the sides of the bed down, got in the hospital bed with him and just cradled him talked to him, kissed him to pieces. He had his eyes closed all day and no sounds except for breathing. About 3 to 5 minutes before he died, he opened his eyes staring at me and moved his mouth as if to say something then it was all over. No gasping, no aggitation, he closed his eyes and it was over. A very peaceful and loving environment. I then called the nurse in to pronounce him. On Sunday I made the decision to move on to palliative care. George did receive fluids and a very slow morphine drip which aided with his breathing and to insure he was comfortable. All week whenever he was asked if he was in pain he said no and he was not in any pain and I am thankful for that. I did give the hospital our 5 page Durable Power of Attorney regarding Medical Decisions and they adhered to it to the letter. Nothing was given to him without asking me first. They did tell me what they were giving him, what it was for and asked if it was ok to do. There were no extraordinary things done, just comfort care. I could have changed my mind and told them to throw everything they had at him but truly felt that would have been the wrong decision so I have no regrets. The last words he mumbled late last evening when I was leaving were I love you so very much too. I will carry that forever. Love and hugs to all - Tina |
Joined: Jan 2010
Dearest Tina
My heart breaks for you as you struggle to deal with this great loss.
I am so glad that you were able to be with George to the end and feel certain that your presence comforted him greatly.
I am glad that you have no regrets about your decisions for his final care. As much as we hate it, there does come a time for just comfort and love, with no extreme efforts taken.
Please know that you and the others who loved George are in our thoughts and prayers. May the memories of the wonderful years you had together bring you some comfort.
Hugs and love to you. Please stay in touch to let us know how you are doing.
Marie who loves kitties
Joined: May 2009
I'm so sorry to read this
I'm so sorry to read this and for your loss. Cancer is so evil.......
Big Hugs to you and your family!
Joined: May 2011
So very sorry
Dear Tina,
I am so very sorry to hear of your dear George's death. What a wonderful caregiver you have been. My prayer is for strength mad peace for you. I would love to have met George.
Hugs,
Cathleen Mary
Joined: Jun 2006
oh tina
how my heart breaks for you. thank you for sharing the details of George's last hours.
Tina you have been a wonderful wonderful spouse in this battle....with great love
maggie
Joined: Aug 2010
I feel so sorry for the loss of our beloved George Tina.
Please accept my deepest sympathy and love, You both will be in my thoughts forever.
Praying for you , have a big and truly hug !.
Joined: Jul 2009
You were a wonderful,
You were a wonderful, wonderful caregiver for George and so many of us on this board! George and Tina have become
part of our journey, past, present and future. My prayer for you Tina is that in time the wonderful memories overwhelm
the loss. Absolutely precious years and times that can never be taken from you. Yes, he wanted you to carry those last words
with you- as if to say, if this is the last time you hear me speak, let me speak of the joy and love I have for you and our life together.
What a fabulous gift he gave you in those last moments!
Please keep coming back- don't leave. You have given us so much and not one of us want to lose you!
*hugs*
Joined: Aug 2011
Oh Tina..............! You
Oh Tina..............! You wrote this letter while in shock, yet it conveys so very much. Very very sorry for your loss.
At a loss for words, but with much sympathy and concern,
Tommycat
Joined: Jan 2010
George was a very lucky man to have you
all these years by his side, right up to the last moments of his passing. May you be comforted by all the wonderful memories that you have shared. I am very sad for you, but I am grateful that his passing was peaceful and that you were with him on his journey. I will be thinking of you in the difficult days that lie ahead. I wish you courage and strength.
Sincerely,
Cynthia
Joined: May 2012
Tina
I am crying as I read your words. I have so much respect for you and wish every family member could be this way. I know it was hard for you but know you did the right thing. The humane way. I wish all the best for you as you go through these hard times, just know you were the best caregiver that George could have.
Sandy
Joined: Apr 2009
Tina so sorry
Tina,
I haven't logged on to this site in months. I got your e-mail and was moved to look tonight.
I understood everything you wrote about moving from room to room and having touches of him everywhere. I am so sorry. It is so very hard to watch a loved one go through the chemo the emotions that cancer dishes out.
Please keep those last words up front and close forever they will help you in the months to come.
You have my heartfelt sympathy. Love and hugs back to you. Paula
Joined: Mar 2009
i am so sorry
you are in my thoughts and prayers tina
Joined: Jan 2009
My Dear Tina
My Dear Tina,
My heart breaks for you my friend. You have been a beautiful wife, support, friend and more to your dear husband. George was so blessed by you and your love and I know you were so blessed by his.
I am so very sorry Tina. I will hold you in my prayers.
Aloha,
Kathleen
Joined: Jun 2012
I was shedding a tear as I
I was shedding a tear as I read that. You are both in my prayers! This horrible disease needs to be destroyed!
Joined: Feb 2009
Oh My Goodness
My heart is breaking and I'm just wanting you to know that you are in my prayers. Please let me know what the arrangements are. I'm glad you were with him.
Hugs! Kim
Joined: Apr 2009
Tina
Please know how very sorry I am to read this news. My thoughts are with you.
Luv,
Wolfen
Joined: Aug 2003
Deeply sorry
I am so deeply sorry to hear this. My heartfelt condolences to you and to all who knew and loved George. You have been such a wonderful caregiver to him.
I hope that all of us have such a wonderful 'leaving taking' when our time comes. Thank you for sharing that with us. It is exactly what I would have wished for myself -- and I think many of us.
Thinking of you.
Much love,
Tara
Joined: Jan 2010
Sounds like a peaceful passing
Tina,
It sounds like you did the best you could for George, and you have my condolences and prayers that your days ahead are filled with love and happy remembrances.
Best.
BTW, my wife's nickname was Tina.
Joined: Oct 2010
We are so sorry for your
We are so sorry for your loss of George! We are sending our prayers and good thoughts to help you through this time.
Words escape me to tell you how much the words of encouragement have meant from you two!
Best Always, mike
Joined: Oct 2010
Tina, hugs to you and your
Tina, hugs to you and your loved ones. Your story made me sad but also gave a sense of peace at the same time. Thank you my dear for being such a support on here to all of us with this one thing in common, the touch of crc diagnosis. Love you sweet Tina!
Gail
Joined: Apr 2010
Dear Tina
I'm so sorry for your loss of George, but I am grateful that you have his "I love you" to carry you through.
Right now, I'm doing a lot of tears and not thinking well. I'll write you more later.
Love to you,
Winter Marie
Joined: Jan 2012
So sorry Tina
I am so sorry for the loss of your Geoge (soulmate) may he rest in peace. ! will be thinking about you and I thank you for letting us know how George was feeling in those last few days. Being by his side must have made his passing so beautiful especially when he said he loved you so much.
Thank you for your post at this grieving time and it was a comfort to me knowing that you can go peacefully when the time comes.
Best wishes and hugs to you Tina.
Andrew
Joined: Nov 2010
dear tina
george is at peace at last, what you shared has left me with tears.
you have been an amazing wife and have had an amazing 42 years together.
hugs,
Pete
Joined: Nov 2001
Hugs Tina
He faced nothing alone,you were with him always,a friend to the end. No one can ask for more than that. Love ron.
Joined: Mar 2012
Oh Tina
I am so so sorry! A silent hug to you
Joined: Jul 2012
Tina
i am so sorry. my heart is sad right now. it is wonderful that you had so many great years together & in time may you gain strength from memories of those years. big prayers for you.
big hugs & prayers.
judy
Joined: Jan 2011
So sorry--
Tina and family-
Sending a cyber hug and letting you no I'm thinking of you.
jp
Joined: Apr 2004
Thank you
Thank you for taking the time to share your news. You can be very proud of the support and care you provided- truly a remarkable achievement. His comfortable and dignified passing are evidence of the love and care you provided. It is all anyone could ask for.
You will both be remembered by us all. Do stay and use the community here for support if it helps.
Steve
Joined: Aug 2008
So sorry
I am so sorry about this turn but glad that final moments were shared by you and George. God bless you and heres to peaceful days in the times ahead...we love you, buzz
Joined: Oct 2011
I am so truly sorry for your
I am so truly sorry for your loss.
Joined: Sep 2011
Dear Tina...
Sending my condolences on the loss of your beloved George.
Ellen
Joined: Apr 2011
Tina, I am very sorry. You
Tina, I am very sorry. You have been the best!! No regrets. Peaceful transition for George.
Joined: Feb 2011
I'm so sorry to read this.
I'm so sorry to read this. Peace and continued strength to you my dear.
Joined: Jun 2009
Dear Tina
Tina,
I did not mention this yesterday, but I remember a time when you 'knew' there would come a time...but you said it was not then:)
I knew it sounded rough from what you described in your last post, but still it was a shock to wake up to this news. I am so sorry for your loss and you were an absolutely tremendous caregiver in every aspect of the definition.
I plan on reading my wife this post, so she can see true love being played out between two loving individuals who really cared for one another. That's certainly not to be underestimated...I've seen that kind of love here between many of you...
...it tells me that it is out there in that form...and it's been a beautiful thing to bear witness to during my time on this forum...a true gift if ever there was one.
You did everything right - all the way down the line. You took care of him in sickness and in health...and you shared a great life together and built many wonderful memories...even at the end, when he told you he loved you.
It's a love story...thanks so much for sharing it.
I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. Thank you for taking the time in your grief to post the news to the community. We remain sorrowful right along beside you.
You will always be welcome here! WE love you!
-Craig
Joined: Mar 2010
There are no words.
There are no words.
Tina, I am so sorry to hear of George's passing. Treasure his memory.
Alice
Joined: Sep 2011
At peace
Tina, my deepest condolences with the passing of George. No words can be strong enough. The one thing I do know is George is with nopain now and that is a blessing. He was a very lucky man having you. I pray for George and you and everyone in Georges family. Jeff
Joined: Sep 2011
At peace
Tina, my deepest condolences with the passing of George. No words can be strong enough. The one thing I do know is George is with nopain now and that is a blessing. He was a very lucky man having you. I pray for George and you and everyone in Georges family. Jeff
Joined: Sep 2009
Tina, I am so sorry for the
Tina,
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear George. You are in my prayers.
Big hugs to you,
Bill
Joined: Oct 2008
Tina
i too am sorry for your loss.you will always be a part of our family here.my thoughts are with you....Godbless...johnnybegood
Joined: May 2008
Oh Dear Tina
Sending you lots of hugs. May you and your family and George be surrounded by love and light.
Love, Leslie
Joined: Apr 2010
Oh Tina, I'm so very sorry
Oh Tina, I'm so very sorry to hear this terrible news. My heart is just aching for you right now. Take comfort in that he passed peacefully in your arms and that his last words were that he loved you dearly.
With much sympathy,
Cynthia
Joined: Jan 2012
Oh Tina
I'm so very sorry to learn of George's passing. May the love that the two of you shared help to ease your spirits in the days ahead.
Doc
Joined: Apr 2012
Dear Tina
George is now in a better place surrounded by love, just waiting for you to join him.
Joined: Jul 2012
I am so sorry Tina. Your
I am so sorry Tina. Your beloved George fought hard. You are an amazingly strong woman and can get through what the next few days has in store for you. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hold on to your wonderful memories of your life and love together.
Love and gentle hugs,
Alex
Joined: Sep 2009
I am so sorry to hear of
I am so sorry to hear of your husband's passing. Sounds like you made your husband feel as comfortable as possible and you were there to help him go Home. God Bless! Margaret
Joined: Jun 2010
Tina
I am so sorry to hear this news. Georges fought a long hard battle. Sending prayers, hugs and thoughts to your family.
Ketz
Joined: Jan 2010
Dear Tina
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear George. My thoughts and prayers are with you now and in the days, weeks, and months ahead. Tina, you have been an AMAZING caregiver and DO NOT ever forget it.
Love and hugs to you,
-Pat
Joined: Mar 2010
Peace
Your George is at peace. I am so impressed with the love you both shared. It is such a wonderful example to the rest of us. And I hope it helps you to have been left with his last words - "I love you so very much too".
Joined: Aug 2011
I'm very sorry for your loss
I'm very sorry for your loss but know you rejoice in the love you shared. It sounds like a very peaceful passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you in these hard times you face.
Laura
Joined: Mar 2012
so sorry
So sorry for your loss, so glad you were able to hold him and comfort him and yourself. Prayers to you and your family.
Joined: Oct 2011
This is such sad news.
I'm so, so sorry that you lost your dear George. I'm sure he felt wrapped in your love and kindness right to the end. Hugs and peace~Ann Alexandria
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