♥ Merry Christmas and NOE-LOL

jimwins
jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
Happy Holidays everyone !

Some funny stuff:
======================================

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C.
This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
~Jay Leno


The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
~Johnny Carson


Three phrases that sum up Christmas are:
Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
~Author Unknown


I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
~Bernard Manning


Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year
when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a
parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking
lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit
as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led
them to a parking space.
~Dave Barry


Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live.
~Dennis Miller

And now with a little more meaning:
======================================

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?
It came without ribbons. It came without tags.
It came without packages, boxes or bags.
And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.
What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
~Dr Seuss



Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
~Oren Arnold


Hugs and positive thoughts,

Jim
DX: DLBL 4/2011, Chemo completed 10/2011, currently in remission.
Members are sharing recipes!:
♥ Recipe Sharing Project

Comments

  • anliperez915
    anliperez915 Member Posts: 770
    Thanks Jim
    Thanks Jim, for making me laugh! I really enjoyed all of the quotes. Take care of yourself and have a Merry Xmas and a Healthy New Year!

    Sincerely,
    Liz
  • catwink22
    catwink22 Member Posts: 281
    Top 10 Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like
    ................................................(Thanks Jim!! You inspire me!!) .... Cat

    10. Hey! There's a gift!

    9. Well,well,well...

    8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

    7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

    6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

    5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

    4. I love it--but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

    3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

    2. To think--I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

    1. I really don't deserve this.
  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    catwink22 said:

    Top 10 Things To Say About A Christmas Gift You Don't Like
    ................................................(Thanks Jim!! You inspire me!!) .... Cat

    10. Hey! There's a gift!

    9. Well,well,well...

    8. Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would've fit.

    7. This is perfect for wearing around the basement.

    6. Gosh. I hope this never catches fire! It is fire season though. There are lots of unexplained fires.

    5. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!

    4. I love it--but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

    3. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.

    2. To think--I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

    1. I really don't deserve this.

    "Brut, The Essence of Man"
    LOL - Think we've all been there.
    I suddenly recall all the underwear, socks,
    funky ties and cheap cologne from years ago....

    Speaking of cologne:

    Brut Spash-On:
    "The Essence of Man. Perfect for a quick, cool splash of manliness,
    this is the most subtle form of Brut. In an easy grip bottle."
    (taken from a website)

    I had a dorm roommate while in college who got like one of those
    "magnum" size bottles of Brut splash on for Christmas that he used every day.
    It made my eyes water, nose run and basically inflamed my sinuses.
    Well it "disappeared" after about a week of that.
    "I have no idea what happened to it" (kathunk as it landed in the dumpster).
    English Leather and British Sterling did the same thing - must have used the
    same rat urine to make it I guess ;).

    Laughs and hugs,

    Jim
  • winthefight
    winthefight Member Posts: 162
    smile
    Thanks Jim. That gave me a nice smile.
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401
    jimwins said:

    "Brut, The Essence of Man"
    LOL - Think we've all been there.
    I suddenly recall all the underwear, socks,
    funky ties and cheap cologne from years ago....

    Speaking of cologne:

    Brut Spash-On:
    "The Essence of Man. Perfect for a quick, cool splash of manliness,
    this is the most subtle form of Brut. In an easy grip bottle."
    (taken from a website)

    I had a dorm roommate while in college who got like one of those
    "magnum" size bottles of Brut splash on for Christmas that he used every day.
    It made my eyes water, nose run and basically inflamed my sinuses.
    Well it "disappeared" after about a week of that.
    "I have no idea what happened to it" (kathunk as it landed in the dumpster).
    English Leather and British Sterling did the same thing - must have used the
    same rat urine to make it I guess ;).

    Laughs and hugs,

    Jim

    Rat Urine????
    I thought the only thing they made with rat urine was RITUXAN. That ain't no joke either. John
  • jimwins
    jimwins Member Posts: 2,107
    COBRA666 said:

    Rat Urine????
    I thought the only thing they made with rat urine was RITUXAN. That ain't no joke either. John

    "RATuxan"
    LOL. You have a point there, John and maybe it should be named "RATuxan".
    I strongly suspect prednisone is made from the testicles of
    a tasmanian devil ;).

    Jim
  • COBRA666
    COBRA666 Member Posts: 2,401
    jimwins said:

    "RATuxan"
    LOL. You have a point there, John and maybe it should be named "RATuxan".
    I strongly suspect prednisone is made from the testicles of
    a tasmanian devil ;).

    Jim

    rituxan
    Really!!! I think it was a few months ago someone posted on the board that they found the ingrediants of rituxan was a little of everything including rat urine. Some of the old members may remember seeing it. We were even making jokes about it.We were talking about the flavor of cheese seemed so much better now and stuff like that. Come on guys help me out here!!! John