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Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

Hi. I was just diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. I didn't have a clue that I was ill - it is apparently growing fast. Doctor is starting me on chemo after the holidays. Trying to stay brave for my 19 year old son. I'm not sure what my journey will be like but trying to stay positive.

Does anyone ever go into the chat room here? I have not been able to get in although the ACS rep said it is a good one. Just want to hear others stories and be able to share ideas and get encouragement from others. There are too many things I can't discuss with my family for fear of bringing them down. I'd appreciate any feedback.

tommycat's picture
tommycat
Posts: 790
Joined: Aug 2011

Wisp, you will find many people here, alive and kicking, who are went through Stage 4 cancer and its treatments. There are also many Stage 4 people who are currently in the fight.
I was dx Stage 3 rectal in 2009, so your exp. will be different than mine, but what we all have in common is a desire to beat this horrible disease. I will support you in any way I can.
Your Friend in California

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

I'm still learning my way around on this board. I haven't even gotten my port but that will be inserted in 2 days. They want to start chemo after the holidays. Not sure what side effects to expect but i'm hoping i'll be able to drive myself to the chemo as my son still doesn't like driving and just has a learners permit.
I've noticed my family won't let me talk about it much because it gets them down. i realize that it's probably harder on them right now because i'm still a little in shock. but the doctor said he might be able to give me 2-5 years with the chemo. I really want to see my son graduate from college so that's my first goal.
i want to be a fighter and not settle for the doctors diagnosis. And i'm not very religious so don't have that to turn to. How did you learn to accept and be positive about your diagnosis? I really want to enjoy the years i've got.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

Wisp, I'm sorry you are here. I'm new, but think I can say this. You should not drive to chemo. Many places prohibit it. It's not s good idea. Also, take charge and stand tall. Be in the best hands you can find. Trust is important believe me. Take notes, be calm, and ask anything and everything. Get your armor on and go kick butt. Have a bulldog mentality. The mind profoundly affects your body. Be gentle. Cry if u need to..no one can stop you. I'm on my second round of folfox6. Rectal in 08, met to lymph nodes in April. I'm here for you.

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

Unfortunately I don't have many resources for rides to chemo but the hospital is very close. I will be driving to work if no bad side effects. I really am wanting to return to work to keep busy. I'm also on folfox. How have you done on the chemo so far? I am going to check into the volunteer rides for my 5 hour chemo sessions.
I haven't really had a chance to cry much - always too many people around and I'm afraid if I give in I will just start a pity party. I'm trying to stay strong and positive but sometimes thoughts get in the way. I was told that I can't have chemo if protein levels in my urine is +2 and mine were +1 for the first week. So I'm really praying the my kidneys behave because I really need the chemo to work.
I'm encouraged by your progress and will definately work on the bulldog mentality! Thanks so much.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

I didn't cry, but everyone is different. If you need it, cry in the shower. My suggestion would be to get a big plastic bat and literally beat a pillow til you're tired. U have to find a few minutes alone somewhere. The folfox6. + avastin is not fun, but not horrible. My Dr prescribed marinol which is synthetic thc....helped with Compazine. After surgery they cut the avastin. I have 4more treatments. Fatigue, neuropathy, and naseau are chief complaints. But I'm alive and find a reason to smile everyday. Where are you now with your treatment. I'll pray your kidneys behave. Ask me anything, I'm an open book.

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

I return to get my avastin unhooked today and will be free from this pump for 2 weeks. So far the only side effect is the tingling fingers from the cold. Maybe I don't need to cry to get it out after all. Unfortunately I can't get mad either. I'm on bipolar meds for my depression and they keep me pretty level. So I just worry alot and seeth a little. :) I have gotten in touch with a contact from CanCar and she informed me that I might be able to outlive the 2-5 years. Even a chance is worth aiming for. That made me smile.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

Of course you can beat this. That's the mentality you need to have. You may feel down sometimes but hope is always there. Everytime I pass a mirror I look into my eyes and say I am healthy. And mean it. Chemo is no walk in the park, but you have youth on your side. Don't be afraid as that just causes paralysis. See yourself whole and healthy....truly embrace the idea. I forgot are you on folfox6? I have four more to go then I'm done. I've healed pretty well from lymph node removal and the path showed onlydead cancer cells. So the chemo got it in June. We are all in this together. Always reach out. Remember, too, there are those worse than you, and just know there is a mind/body connection.

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

Yes I'm on folfox6. And I'm no spring chicken - I'm 55. :) But everyone's encouragement has really helped. I'm not so scared anymore and really am getting motivated to beat this thing. This is a wonderful community and it really helps to talk it out with others like me who are winners. Thanks so much for your pep talk.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

I'll be 55 in June. That is young. So you do have youth on your side. Spring chicken....spring chicken!!! LOL. Where did your cancer spread to, Wisp, if you mentioned it I missed it. Don't even think of those numbers. Really, easier said than done. When u feel upset, log on here. It will help you. Read everything you can and know all you can. You will feel empowered. The neuropathy with hands and feet is not fun. But st least we have two and and two feet!!! I'm in your court here. My cell is 8503628035 if you want to text or call me. In the meantime have fun with the holidays. I know you are not religious, but we all have a maker, and are loved. There's lots of denominations, maybe one is your fit. Faith helped me. Well get through this, hour by hour at times and day by day most of the time. Do you enjoy walking? Your friend, Jamie Hornburg.

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Wisp, you have found the right place. We will be here for any questions and all the support you need. From from treatments, pain, foods, and even favorite brands of TP (which by the way will become very important to you). We share smiles and tears.

plh4gail

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

What is TP? I guess i have alot of lingo to learn. :) I really haven't had a chance to cry yet - my mother won't allow it and I'm currently having to stay with her while my home plumbing is being repaired. I feel like i want to cry at times but don't want to get caught up in self-pity. I'm afraid if I give in i won't be strong for the upcoming battle.
As far as foods go, I'm still figuring that out. i had 2 sections of colon removed and everything seems to work differently now. But no pain right now thank goodness. It is in my liver but doctor says the chemo should help. I still need to attend a chemo class to find out how long chemo is effective and what my possibilities are. Do you get chemo several times?

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

TP=toilet paper :) that darn chemo can cause some diarrhea like you've never known to have. But you may already know because of your surgery/resection. Not to scare you my dear, just all information I promise so cross that bridge and whatever other bridges you come to as they come. Everyones experience is different. Some people are able to work and go about their lives with much less symptoms. Glad to hear you already had surgery, do you have a colostomy? Or a temporary iliostomy? I had a temporary iliostomy which was reversed.

Please allow yourself time to cry if cry is what you want/need to do. This is your cancer and you need to be able to help yourself through it. Don't they say a good cry is good for us from time to time? So cry and be sad you got cancer, then when the tears stop, you will straighten up and say I can do this, I am strong and ready to give it my all. I think we all have our pity party days and we often come here to vent it out and share our fears and ask questions.

I also have children and I tried not to cry in front of them but some of my closer friends shared some tears with me, and it as healthy for them as it is you. Remember your friends need a way to get through your cancer too. They love you and are scared too. Let them help. And personally, I might encourage your son to practice driving. That can be the way he helps if you do need it. I was not able to drive after, but Raquel on here drove herself.

For foods after resection? Everytime I think I have it figured out, I'm proven wrong. What or what not to eat, times to eat, how much to eat....I think when it's going to happen it's just that time. I don't know, and I'm still working on that.

well, hugs to you and I will be here for you with the others, plh4gail

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2132
Joined: Mar 2010

but reached the point several years ago where it was no longer useful. However, it was useful and a great resource for me for quite a while.

I'm one of those stage 4 success stories, albeit with a colorectal cancer variant: appendix cancer. 4 1/2 years later, multiple surgeries, multiple chemos, and I'm doing great, with an excellent long-term prognosis.

Your head is spinning - you will eventually settle down. Use all the resources available to you. We'll all answer any questions on any topic to the best of our abilities.

You've found a group of understanding friends.

Alice

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

I find that i really want to hear from others going thru this as well. I'm encouraged by your success and really hope for the same. Did you set goals to keep you positive? one of my goals is to see my son graduate from college in 3 years. Then of course I want to see him land a good job and be self-sufficient. It's just me and him and he needs to be able to take care of himself. I want to know that he'll be all right. This really hit him hard.
My doctor doesn't want me to return to work since I had a very high stress job. So now i'm on short term disability for the duration of my chemo, when it starts. Then he wants me to go on permanent disability. i really don't know yet what i will do. i will miss working - all of my coworkers are friends. But it is stressful. I have a sister nearby and her family who are very supportive but i think it's going to be me who will have to be strong thru this.
Sorry this is so disjointed. And thanks for your response.

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

I think what you decide to do at the work place is a personal decision but for my husband it was necessary to make a decision so that we could apply for the disability as it takes a minimum 6 months to process. We didn't want there to be a gap between end of sick leave and collection of disability. Because he made the decision early, there will be less than a couple week gap. I still have hopes that one day he will return to a workplace because I think that will help his emotional health. Lisa

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2132
Joined: Mar 2010

That is a wonderful organization for support and ideas.

In answer to your questions, I don't know that I set any goals other than to get through the trials of treatment. However, I was told pretty early on by one of my drs that I should do well for the long term. My kids were either in college or had graduated when I was diagnosed, and very independent, which made me feel more secure. I knew that they could take care of themselves, and would take care of each other. I also have a wonderful husband who stayed by my side every step of the way.

Regarding work - do what you can, and what is best for your mental state. The problem with permanent disability is it can change how you see yourself. I'm hoping that with treatment, you can get back to living the life you love.

By the way, regarding resections: my colon was resected in 3 places. It took a while, but everything works perfectly now.

We're cheering you on,
Alice

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

My resection was in 2 places and I'm still working on the regularity. :) My first goal is to be around to see my son graduate from college - he still has 3 years in Accounting. I think he is dedicated enough to see it through no matter what. I agree that permanent disability will just depress me. I need to stay busy because I've always worked and don't know what to do with my time at home. I'm planning my first outing to visit my coworkers today - they have all been calling me and have been very supportive. Thanks again for your encouragement.

buckeye2
Posts: 428
Joined: Jul 2011

Wisp, i am sorry that you are having to go through all this. My husband and I are 7 mths post diagnosis and the days immediately following diagnosis were the worst thus far. After that there comes a point where the focus is more about living than dieing. During one part of this, our 19 year old daughter complained that we were leaving our kids out because like you, we didn't want to worry them. They want to be included so now I try to share more with her. One experienced wife told me I would get used to my new normal. I didn't believe her but the day to day responsibilities have a way of insuring that you keep moving one foot in front of the other. Here are my two favorites quotes that I learned on this Board that keep me going. "Feed the faith,starve the fear" and "This is a marathon, not a sprint". Lisa

tanstaafl's picture
tanstaafl
Posts: 1292
Joined: Oct 2010

A good way to generate relevant stories and suggestions is to tell your story and medical encounters. Anyone who answers, you can click on their "name" and see if they have posted their cancer story, their struggles and their progress. What continent are you from?

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

I didn't know I was ill either, I think a bunch of us didn't know when we were diagnosed at stage 4. I found it difficult to get into the chat room as well for months actually and I've been told it's working fine, so I don't know if it's the internet browser or what, then sometimes it worked just fine.
I told my son the first week about my cancer, I brought up how far I was along into it (my doctor had given me 4 to 6 months with chemo, after chemo and surgery and more chemo, here I am, one year and 10 months later doing just fine and dandy) over the next week, we cried together, I told my daughter about 3 months later how bad it was, she was living in Ohio and I didn't want to tell her I was "dying" over the phone. We cried a lot when I did. But they all helped encourage me to keep going, to survive, along with the people here on the colorectal I received plenty of encouragement.
I stayed strong for my family and they stayed strong for me, and we also all had our moments,(I don't know how many times I cried myself to sleep)nothings perfect in cancer land, and they would appreciate your discussing these things with them. For instance your chemo's, after you learn what they are and possible side affects you might have, it's always best to let the family know before they see it. Could be a shocker if mom's hair was to fall out and they had no idea (and no, not everyone's hair falls out, I still have my long hair that I had in the beginning)or if you lose weight (again, not a problem I had but many do)you don't want them thinking it's the cancer eating you up, you need to let them know it was the chemo causing loss of appetite, etc., in other words its best to discuss these things with them and even your worries, otherwise everyone is worried in their heads; too scared about bringing everyone else down to talk to one another. You have to let them know by talking, that it's okay to talk about it, so that they aren't just thinking about it, sometimes things are best discussed then held back.
That's just my bit of advise.
I'm sorry you have to be here, but you've found a good place for information about what is happening, to ask questions about side effects that others have experienced for the particular chemo's you are going to have and to just talk about it or even other things.
My heart to you,
Winter Marie

Goldie1's picture
Goldie1
Posts: 264
Joined: Sep 2011

So sorry you had to come here but in the short time I have been on here, I have found this board to be full of the most helpful, compassionate, people you could ever talk to.

My 53 year old husband is stage iv colon cancer with mets to the liver and was diagnosed last June. He also had no clue that he was ill. He has had radiation, chemo, and is now on a break as he waits for colon resection surgery at the end of January. Our children (19 & 24) are told everything about his treatment. They want to know and have been incredibly supportive.

I have never been on the chat room here but I have found that if you ask anything on this board, you will get replies and a shoulder if needed.

Take care,

Ellen C.

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6549
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry that you had to find us but you will get a lot of support and knowledge here so feel free to ask away. I've tried the chat when first joining, but it's all different types of cancers and thought (for me personally) that the message boards were best suited for what others could help with. We are here to help you.

Kim

lauragb
Posts: 370
Joined: Aug 2011

Wisp, I'm sorry you needed to join this forum. I am married and I have one child, a
21 year old daughter. We have always been very close so my diagnosis (Stage 3 rectal) was
very hard on her. To me, this is the hardest part, the worry about others being okay.
You sound strong to me and you have goals to be here. I hope this forum gives you the support you need. Like others have said, the days surrounding the initial diagnosis were the worst for me. I didn't know how I'd get through. It is okay to cry and grieve for your life before cancer. For you, there are many Stage 4 survivors on here, amazing people. I hope that you have support from some friends too. Everyone needs someone to cry to before they pick themselves back up.

Laura

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Wisp,

Welcome to the board, even though it's not a place you want to have to be.
I have three kids, ages 18, 16, & 11. I was diagnosed stage IV 4-1/2 years ago, so my youngest was just barely 7 then. I have found being honest and open with my family and also my kids was the approach that worked for my family and me. I don't burden the kids with all the details, but they've seen me cry and they've seen me be very strong. Most of the time I am pretty strong and positive, but it's just not good to keep everything inside you, Wisp. If you can't let it out around your mother, then it would be a good idea to see a counselor. I did for a short while & it was helpful for me to have a safe place to get my emotions out. Then I felt like I could go home and do a better job of holding it together with my family.

Hugs and blessings to you-
Lisa

eringray's picture
eringray
Posts: 19
Joined: Nov 2011

hi wisp,
i was diagnosed stage IV last year. i have two kids, 1 and 2. obviously i dont let my kids know anything about my cancer, they wouldn't undertand anyway. my mother is really the only person i talk to candidly about my feelings. i too dont want to burden people with my depressing condition. i found that most people cant handle it anyway. these forums are a huge help because you can vent, be angry, and say whatever you want without feeling guilty. just know there are people here willing to listen and offer advice if you need it :)

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

My son is 19 and I'm an old 55 year mom raising him alone. He was hit hard at first but is being a real trooper now. I hope you're doing well in your treatments. I just started chemo yesterday and have a pump on right now for 3 days. My mother won't let me talk candidly - she won't allow me to get down at all. And the rest of the family is acting so sad and devastated that I can't really talk much with them either. I've been having to be strong for everyone, which has always been my role in this family. My brothers won't talk about it at all. So I image I'll be coming here to talk with others and try to be encouraging as well as I learn to adapt.
Everything just happened so fast that I'm still adjusting myself. I was just diagnosed on Dec 1st and have already had resection colon surgery and started chemo. So many doctors visits, social workers, insurance contacts, etc. My head is still swimming! I'm a tough lady normally and have handled everything pretty good.

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2132
Joined: Mar 2010

when we are the ones who need the support. However, it's common - others need us to be strong to allay their fears. What about OUR fears? We're the ones with cancer.

Don't feel badly if you can't be strong for others - you have to take care of yourself first. If people can't cope with your situation, that is their problem. At least you have this forum to come to - we all understand.

I, too, was diagnosed at 55, my daughter still in college. Now, 4 1/2 years later, I've seen my daughter graduate and my son get married. So far, all is good.

Alice

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

We are alike in that regard, 55 with one in college. I really am aiming for being around for his graduation and then - to see him settled in a good job. You have really encouraged me!
I think this forum is a good place to allay some of my fears. So far, I've really been encouraged. I haven't felt like blaming anyone or railed at God or given into despair. So things are looking up. Still in a little bit of shock but I'm adjusting now. Hearing others' successes really makes a big difference to me.
Did your daughter get a job and settle down? It's just me and my son so it's important that he be self-sufficient.

abrub's picture
abrub
Posts: 2132
Joined: Mar 2010

As I write, she's in an airplane, heading back to northen India to continue working on educational materials for a Tibetan university. She's been in India most of the time since graduating in 2009, but plans to come back to the states for grad school in September.

She's also an international pop star, and has been living quite an adventurous life. Settled down? Not very likely, but mostly self-supporting. However, we're very proud of her many accomplishments, even tho they are far from the "norm." She is very self-sufficient.

Our son is nicely settled, married and in a great job. So I'm comfortable with where both kids are.

And in the spring, for my 60th birthday, I have a major vacation planned! Look to the future - don't ever give up on it!

Alice

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

Wisp, with your cancer being the elephant in the room, that has to be hard. But if you can somehow bring it up, I think things would get better. Everyone is scared of course, but not being able to communicate and forced to be silent doesn't help. That in itself would be more stress on you. If your family knows you are strong, that may help them. Are there any caregiver support group near? Just a suggestion.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

I also saw and am seeing a psychologist. There are many programs, your social worker on your case should be able to help. Talking with this might just be the ticket, if feasible. Wouldn't suggest, had I not done so. I like the special hour I get.

barbebarb's picture
barbebarb
Posts: 464
Joined: Oct 2011

Hi Wisp:
I was diagnosed Stage IV in October by surprise! Stage I - 2008
This forum is great for encouragement and knowlege which is
power against this disease! It helped me to read encouraging stories,
meditation, prayer and to go forward.
A comfort level with your doctor is so important and surrounding yourself
with supportive people.
I am new to this but would love to chat.

sammer4u
Posts: 37
Joined: Dec 2011

I have through a bunch of similar stuff and waiting for Chemo to start next week. I was diagnosed with stage IV and was a shock to me as well. Currently I have an ostomy, just got a power port installed Wednesday and waiting for Chemo next Tuesday. The port was simple, I honestly do not recall anything. The last thing I recall is the doctor spreading out the surgery paper on my chest and then being back in my room. I was told I would be awake for the procedure, but not sure if I was. I feel like I was completely out. I was sore and sensitive in the chest area all day yesterday an today I have very little discomfort. Still know it is there but not bad. My process is going thru Chemo (F5U and Oxiplat) for two months, then a scan to check out the size of the tumors on the liver. They will perform surgery on the liver (hopefully a reversal of the ostomy at the same time) and then more than likely more chemo. My goal is to be back riding the Harley in late May early June. No plans so far as keeping me from it.

Good luck with your procedures, keep your chin up... and always think positive thoughts. That is what I have been doing and that is what is keeping me motivated to move forward. I am actually anxious to get the chemo started.. which means things are starting and will be over quicker...

Have a good weekend, and chin up!!!

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

It was a breeze but took almost 5 hours. Be sure to bring a book and snacks if they let you. I applaud you wanting to get back on the Harley - go for it! I'm shooting for getting back to work late next month. They are falling apart at the job without me (I like to think so at least). :) My doctor will do another scan on my liver in 3 months as well to see how I'm doing. My tumors are very small but too many of them to remove. I just had a PET scan 2 days ago to see where else the cancer may have spread and I'm really crossing my fingers that it hasn't spread elsewhere.
I think I'll be more positive once I can get out of the house and away from this awful daytime TV!!! I do not like being idle. I'm ready to get back into the swing of thing. Have been considering getting a small tattoo later on if the doctor okays it. Maybe that will be a reward after I get off chemo.
I wish you good luck on your chemo. It does feel good to be doing something positive about this disease. And the powers that be are always finding new drugs so I'm hoping for good things in the future.

LAF53's picture
LAF53
Posts: 61
Joined: Sep 2011

So many of us were diagnosed during a routine test.I was diagnosed stage 3 in June, I had surgery and have been on chemo for 4 months now. I have an 17 and 15 yr old at home. It's been quite difficult but doable. Stay positive and you'll get thru it all.

I've never gone to a chat room, so I can't help you with that.

Lydia

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

I've given up on the chat room. This discussion board seems to be full of good encouragement now. I just started my chemo yesterday and so far so good. Do you have someone you can talk to? My son is wanting to be open about everything - he's being a real trooper at 19. He's growing up so fast through this. I hope your kids are doing all right with it and being supportive for you. I think we really need to try to be positive through this. Glad to hear that you are doing okay.
Have you had any reactions to the chemo or is it going smoothly for you? I'm really hoping that I won't have any side effects that will keep me from returning to work. I was actually looking forward to getting a wig but the doctor told me that my regimen of chemo will only thin my hair out. :) I was going to be a redhead!

LAF53's picture
LAF53
Posts: 61
Joined: Sep 2011

This is a good place. i'm lucky I have a grown up daughter who is a nurse. I can say anything to her, guess she has heard it all. she also comes with me to dr appointments and tests etc. My husband listens but doesn't hear what i say. My oldest daughter only wants to stay positive, arrrgh. my middle daughter cries. And the 2 youngest at home try to play keep away from me. i think it scares them a little too much. I use face book I have a count down of days left of chemo. i've such supportive group there. i try to keep all the facebook stuff positive.
you have to be positive and take care of yourself. Chemo side effects are different for everybody. i've gotten some that are unusual. right now I have such bad neuropathy in my fingers I have to wear gloves while I type. I've had 2 blood clots in my right leg, have terrible jaw pain for 12 days after infusion and slur my words to the delight of my teenage daughters. i even had pre skin cancer on my nose. i cut my hair chin length and it is quite thin, i dries very quickly now. But nobody notices. unless I drop hair in their food.
Sorry you are a member here. Just like I'm sorry all these people have to come here. Cancer sucks.
lydia

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi
I am 3.5 years out from treatment and free of this beast. Stage 3B, Dx's May 08. First I drove myself to and from treatments almost all the time. Hospital and clinic is less than a mile- even drove myself 2 out of 3 times I was hospitalized with chemo issues. I actually preferred to go alone- when others went I felt like I had to entertain them, found it so much more helpful to me to just sleep, watch TV or read. Driving became more of an issue later in treatments and only for longer distances- walking from the parking lot was always a pain in the butt because I was so weak.

I found my family's presence- 3 kids, a mother, 2 sisters- to be very valuable. They cooked, cleaned, ran errands, my mom would lay on the bed with me and we would watch, "Desperate Housewives". I even had a co worker come over and clean my kitchen and bathroom. I didn't have the need to actually talk to them, felt like living the day to day stuff was more than enough. As I got sicker through chemo, they were here more often. I do remember there being a sense of this was just a stage in my life to help me through. My oncologist always took the positive side, always.

I wish you a rested and yes, even joyful holiday. You will find and experience the bumps on the journey- what helped me the most was to focus only on the moment, to not look back and to be real careful on looking ahead.

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Welcome and sorry for your DX. I am also stage 4 and worked and drove to chemo and 2 hours back and forth to work. T It was hard but it can be done. At least I did it. I have been in remission (NED) for a couple years now. My CEA has been rising a bit but my scans are fine. So, there is hope out there. Take a big breath and jump in and fight. You will find lots of help here.

Take care of your body. It's important.

Wisp
Posts: 13
Joined: Nov 2011

I really want to drive myself to my chemo as well as get back to work. I understand that it may be hard but if others like you can do it, then so can I. I don't want to let this beat me. Congratulations on doing so well. I hope to mirror your success and dedication.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

Good for you. Moffitt won't let me. I am a bit spacey! hubby doesn't stay at infusion...its silly for him too. I usually sleep thru treatment. We live 7 hours from Tampa. Had a fiasco with local infusions. I drive there because I trust them. Only 4 to go!! Yeah!!

GoBucks
Posts: 28
Joined: Dec 2011

Wisp I understand, I'm a recent Stage IV too and I've been through 4 rounds of chemo. Luckily I'm tolerating it fairly well. I have an 18 year old getting ready to graduate high school and a 21 year old college senior also graduating in May, plus a wedding in Sept. I plan to be here for it all, so I'm fighting hard but I still get really scared and I sometimes think too much about this thing. My family is nothing but positve but everyone is dealing differently. They all hate seeing me cry since that is something I didn't do before the diagnosis. I've been blessed by the people who have helped me and my faith has definitely deepened. One of the most frustrating things is people say ,oh you look so good, I believe we'll both get so we can walk one day at a time.

golf_gal's picture
golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

Try hitting a pillow with a big plastic bat. Hit it until you are worn out. You'd be surprised how it helps! :-)

janderson1964
Posts: 2215
Joined: Oct 2011

I am 74 months into the stage IV colon cancer jouney.I just had my third liver surgery. It is ok to be scared at first but you must get over it and take charge of your cancer journey. Be proactive and learn as much as you can. Ask your doctors questions and take notes. Oh and I have always driven myself to and from chemo.

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golf_gal
Posts: 69
Joined: Dec 2011

Good for you. Wonder why they want a driver for me. Travelling that far with hubby has become routine now. Only four more to go. Keep the pedal to the metal and keep moving forward!!! LOL

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