Did i do the right thing?

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jo jo
jo jo Member Posts: 1,175
Sorry this isnt BC related...but im stressed out over a situation and need to vent and maybe have some input of reassurance that i did the right thing.

So here it goes. My cousin Georg (Stacys brother) was diagnosed with a very rare terminal disease about 4-5 years ago called stiffmans disease...roughly only 130 people have this in the world. From what they know about this disease they usually dont live more than 5 years. It is a horrible, nasty disease. Their muscles pull themselves away from the bones and their body becomes stiff...this just is a small part of what he goes thru and its very painful and he can hardly walk and hes very weak and he is only 41 years old.

He has a 12 year old daughter that lives half with him and half with her mother. The mom lets her run the streets and do whatever she wants when she wants. The mom is an alcoholic and drug addict. Georg just got his daughter again 3 weeks ago.

Now that ive set the stage now i can tell you what happened.
Yesterday about 5pm i got to his house and found he was having another massive attack from his disease he has swelling on his brain so it triggers some bad side effects and with the muscles attacking his legs to were he couldnt move his legs and in severe pain. I called the ambulance and off to the hospital we went. With his disease these attacks are brought on by high stress. We were in the ER till about 11pm. He was actually sent home cuz the docs have no idea how to treat his disease...Georg is the only case that i know of that the docs ask him what should they do cuz they have no idea how to treat him. Weird i know but there are only a few docs that know how to treat it...so usually he tells them what they need to do and it usually works till he sees his doctor. Yes hes in the ER alot.

While i was in the ER with him I found out that his 12 year old daughter has been physically abusing him. She would punch, kick and bit him and would draw blood. His body cant take that and hes to disabled to stop her visious attacks. So me and my sister set her up. After leaving the ER we left her alone with Georg and during this time he had his cell phone on so i could hear everything that was going on (of course she didnt know this), later 911 dispatch was also listening in without her knowing, cuz she was getting to the point that she was going to get violent with him ...thats when i walked back in cuz i was never very far. Shortly after that the police show up and she was admitted in a phyic unit.

Georg was very upset about the situation cuz he didnt want to see his daughter go thru this and hes a good dad but he lost control once she figured out how much she could get away with cuz he couldnt do anything and she took advantage of the situation and him. I couldnt believe her actions after just taking him to the ER she was willing to put him thru more abuse like that. Once she leaves the mental health unit she will be going to a detention hall cuz i refused for her to ever be alone with him. Georg knows it had to be done but i just kept telling him hes got to show her this isnt normal and had to do a little tough love.
Please tell me i did the right thing cuz last thing i would ever want is to split up a family!
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Comments

  • Lighthouse_7
    Lighthouse_7 Member Posts: 1,566 Member
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    jojo I'm sorry that you and
    jojo I'm sorry that you and your cousin had to go through this. I think you did the right thing for both your cousin and his daughter. She needs help and now hopefully she'll get it.
    No one should be abused and you had amazing courage to do what you did.
    God bless and take care.
    Hugs,
    Wanda
  • Heatherbelle
    Heatherbelle Member Posts: 1,226 Member
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    JoJo - i love you for
    JoJo - i love you for stepping in like that. You absolutely did the right thing. Family issues are so hard to deal with and navigate. I'm so sorry that your cousin has to deal with all of his daughter's issues on top of what sounds like a horrible condition. Not only did your stepping in help out your cousin, but maybe the mental health unit and detention center stay will help his daughter see the error in he ways and change her life on a more positive note.
    *hugs*
    heather
  • skipper54
    skipper54 Member Posts: 936 Member
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    JoJo - i love you for
    JoJo - i love you for stepping in like that. You absolutely did the right thing. Family issues are so hard to deal with and navigate. I'm so sorry that your cousin has to deal with all of his daughter's issues on top of what sounds like a horrible condition. Not only did your stepping in help out your cousin, but maybe the mental health unit and detention center stay will help his daughter see the error in he ways and change her life on a more positive note.
    *hugs*
    heather

    Hard as it was it sounds like you did the right thing, for both
    of them. God bless you! Any 12 year old that acts like that needs HELP.

    Sending prayers for all!
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
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    You did the only thing you could do!
    I am so sorry that Georg had to live through the Hades he apparently has had to at the hands of his daughter. The effects of the physical attavks areso much more than he should have had to deal with BUT the emotional effects also. If he does not have a counsellor he' working with try to get him to seek out someone experienced in treating PTSD. PTSD is very real and deals with any traumatic stress which being abused by his 12 y/o daughter certainly counts as traumatic stress.

    His daughter definately does need help for her behavior and needs it now, sounds like she'll be getting it.

    My prayers are definatelly with Georg and you but also with his daughter as she has her entire life ahead of her and it sounds like she hasn't had much "good raising" from her mother.

    Prayers!

    Susan
  • GMcD
    GMcD Member Posts: 134
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    skipper54 said:

    Hard as it was it sounds like you did the right thing, for both
    of them. God bless you! Any 12 year old that acts like that needs HELP.

    Sending prayers for all!

    I definitely feel you did
    I definitely feel you did the right thing for both your cousin and his daughter. One day she would have to try to live with the fact that she hurt her father when he was defenseless. Not a good way to go through life, I would think. Also, you are amazing to care so much for your cousin. I wish you and your family peace.
  • missingtexas
    missingtexas Member Posts: 146
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    Absolutely!
    You absolutely did the right thing and good for you for stepping in before something REALLY bad happened!! It's not always the popular choice but definitely the right one!!! Hugs to you!
    Dana
  • chenheart
    chenheart Member Posts: 5,159
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    Sweetie....I love you so
    Sweetie....I love you so much!!!! I cannot believe the things you have gone through in the past few years~ your own battle with BC, as well as the personal tragedies you have been a part of. You are an amazingly strong, compassionate woman, and I am so inspired that you never sit back and watch Life~ you stand up and make decisions. Not an easy task, but you see things with both your heart and mind, and you take action.
    You are wondering if you did the right thing, and that you would hate to break up a family. Of course you did the right thing~ and NO! No! No! you did not break up a family, no matter how this turns out, you may have saved one! For myriad reasons, his daughter has probably needed extensive therapy for a long, long time. It has obviously been ignored ~ her father was physically unable to care for her, and from how you have described her mother, the emotional needs were not met either. I don't have any idea if this saddest of human dramas will have a "Happy Ending"~but you absolutely did the right thing~ and may have saved a life. Or two. Let your heart be at peace.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
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    chenheart said:

    Sweetie....I love you so
    Sweetie....I love you so much!!!! I cannot believe the things you have gone through in the past few years~ your own battle with BC, as well as the personal tragedies you have been a part of. You are an amazingly strong, compassionate woman, and I am so inspired that you never sit back and watch Life~ you stand up and make decisions. Not an easy task, but you see things with both your heart and mind, and you take action.
    You are wondering if you did the right thing, and that you would hate to break up a family. Of course you did the right thing~ and NO! No! No! you did not break up a family, no matter how this turns out, you may have saved one! For myriad reasons, his daughter has probably needed extensive therapy for a long, long time. It has obviously been ignored ~ her father was physically unable to care for her, and from how you have described her mother, the emotional needs were not met either. I don't have any idea if this saddest of human dramas will have a "Happy Ending"~but you absolutely did the right thing~ and may have saved a life. Or two. Let your heart be at peace.

    Hugs,
    Chen♥

    Well said Chen.

    Well said Chen.
  • sbmly53
    sbmly53 Member Posts: 1,522
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    Jojo
    Absolutely, you did the right thing. That girl needs help desparately, and now she will get it. Do not beat yourself up. What you did was good, kind and brave.

    Hugs, sweetie

    Sue
  • mamolady
    mamolady Member Posts: 796 Member
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    You gave her the opportunity
    You gave her the opportunity to have a normal life. It will be up to her to take it.

    We don't always see if what we did was right with kids till several years later. This may get harder before it gets better. In any case, neither Georg or his daughter deserve to live like that.

    Cindy
  • jessiesmom1
    jessiesmom1 Member Posts: 915 Member
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    Doing the Right Thing
    JoJo, you absolutely did the right thing. Don't EVER doubt that. You had the right and the obligation to protect your Cousin Georg since he is unable to protect himself. What a horrible situation to be in - for him AND for you. He is lucky to have you.

    IRENE
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
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    Doing the Right Thing
    JoJo, you absolutely did the right thing. Don't EVER doubt that. You had the right and the obligation to protect your Cousin Georg since he is unable to protect himself. What a horrible situation to be in - for him AND for you. He is lucky to have you.

    IRENE

    Yes...
    You did the right thing! But they can only keep here for 72 hours when committed....glad she's going to a detention center...and sadly, it sounds like the courts will step in and they should....obviously she has no parental guidance from an alcoholic, drug addicted mother....she may, sadly, end up in foster care....your cousin could then have supervised visitation.....a12 year old who physically abuses her own disabled father needs mental health care, pronto....and if she doesn't get it, imagine her at 16.......never doubt Jo, that you did the right thing!

    Hugs, Nancy
  • epark
    epark Member Posts: 339
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    MAJW said:

    Yes...
    You did the right thing! But they can only keep here for 72 hours when committed....glad she's going to a detention center...and sadly, it sounds like the courts will step in and they should....obviously she has no parental guidance from an alcoholic, drug addicted mother....she may, sadly, end up in foster care....your cousin could then have supervised visitation.....a12 year old who physically abuses her own disabled father needs mental health care, pronto....and if she doesn't get it, imagine her at 16.......never doubt Jo, that you did the right thing!

    Hugs, Nancy

    oh Jojo as hard as it was
    oh Jojo as hard as it was for you i totally think you had no other choice...your cousin has a blessing in you to care so much for him....wishing your cousin all the best

    Tons of Hugs
    Eva
  • butterflylvr
    butterflylvr Member Posts: 944
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    epark said:

    oh Jojo as hard as it was
    oh Jojo as hard as it was for you i totally think you had no other choice...your cousin has a blessing in you to care so much for him....wishing your cousin all the best

    Tons of Hugs
    Eva

    Jojo you are a true friend
    Jojo you are a true friend for stepping in. After his daughter gets the much needed counciling she needs their relationship is going to be so much better. If she was left any longer in that environment she may have done something more drastic. You have a good heart sweetie..
  • mollyz
    mollyz Member Posts: 756 Member
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    Jojo you are a true friend
    Jojo you are a true friend for stepping in. After his daughter gets the much needed counciling she needs their relationship is going to be so much better. If she was left any longer in that environment she may have done something more drastic. You have a good heart sweetie..

    No question!
    You did the right thing,now someone needs to help her mom does her family not care about what she does (the 12 yr. old moms)? let your brother know i will be praying for him. HUGS JoJo.~~MollyZ~~
  • Bella Luna
    Bella Luna Member Posts: 1,578 Member
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    JoJo... I say you more than
    JoJo... I say you more than did the Right Thing!

    I am sure there were others who knew what was going on, but chose to turn their heads. You are a true, loving friend who cared enough to step in and protect your friend from further harm. His daughter is in dire need of help. Hopefully, the intervention she is getting will give her a much needed wake up call. I am glad Greg has you as an advocate and a dear friend.

    Your friend Greg is going through some serious challenges in his life. It's not easy, but I am sure having family and friends such as yourself helps ease the heavy burden some.

    You did good kid. Much love and hugs to you, JoJo.
  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
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    jojo I'm sorry that you and
    jojo I'm sorry that you and your cousin had to go through this. I think you did the right thing for both your cousin and his daughter. She needs help and now hopefully she'll get it.
    No one should be abused and you had amazing courage to do what you did.
    God bless and take care.
    Hugs,
    Wanda

    I think you did the right
    I think you did the right thing Jo Jo.

    ♥ Kristin ♥
  • BetsyJane
    BetsyJane Member Posts: 127
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    You did the right thing
    I would have done the same exact thing. You couldn't let this abuse continue. At least now you have peace of mind that your cousin will no longer be physically abused by his own daughter and hopefully his daughter will get the much needed help she so desperately needs.

    Keeping you all in my prayers.
  • RozHopkins
    RozHopkins Member Posts: 578 Member
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    Yes
    Absolutely in my humble opinion did the RIGHT thing, its harder to do the right thing sometimes.
  • smalldoggroomer
    smalldoggroomer Member Posts: 1,184
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    You absolutely did the right
    You absolutely did the right thing. Thank God he had you to protect him when he couldn't. You may have saved his life. I'm proud of you for standing up when you needed to. And hopefully she will get the help she needs now.