Aug 23, 2011 - 1:26 pm
Hi everyone, I am new to the network. I stumbled across it today and i am so happy to be here and be a member! I had RCC and had an open partial nephrectomy on August 10th. Almost 2 weeks ago. I was diagnosed in July, and after surgery am said to now be cancer free!
There has been something weighing heavily on my mind and i can't seem to shake it or the feeling that comes with it. I feel like, i'm cheating when i call myself a survivor. I think i feel that way because i didn't have to do any chemo or radiation, and i feel like i really didn't have to "fight". Found the mass in May, biopsy finally in July and Surgery to remove it in August. Granted this recovery has been so very hard and i have been suffering a great deal, i still feel like i cheated the system almost. Does that make sense? Or am i crazy? I feel lucky and blessed and so grateful that i didn't have to do any type of treatments. I just feel like when i say survivor i'm taking something away from the ones that have had to Fight very hard for their lives. It's almost like i feel guilty that i had it so "easy", or easy compared to what they went through or are going through. This gnaws at me and at my heart daily since i've gotten home from the hospital and i was just wondering if there was anyone else out there who experienced these feelings.
Thanks for reading and i wish you all a life filled with peace and joy, love and LAUGHTER.