CSN Login
Members Online: 2

You are here

A Thought for the Caregivers (dedicated to all caregivers)

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

Thought it might be a good time to revive this:

You were there when we discovered we were ill, and you shared our shock and pain

You were with us in the hospital, worrying while we slept

You stood by us when our moods got dark

You were there with us when the treatment seemed worse than the disease

You cooked special meals

You cleaned the house

You brought comfort in the dark

You give meaning to the struggle

And you are there, holding our hand as the struggle ends

Yours is the hardest job, and it is not possible to thank you enough

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Thank you.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

You stand and accept ALL of the 'news'...when the professionals spare us warriors, they pick you to 'tell all' to...and you then die a bit inside, because you cannot talk it over with your best friend (your warrior).

I always look at caregivers as special angels...not only do they deal with the devil (cancer), but then they are expected to keep doing all their 'normal' activities, as well....they are the unsung heros of this fight!!!!!

BIG hugs to all, Kathi

tina dasilva's picture
tina dasilva
Posts: 644
Joined: Sep 2010

Awesome post as i read this post i tears come to my eyes .WOW what a post hugs Tina

tanker sgv's picture
tanker sgv
Posts: 125
Joined: Nov 2010

Many post have given me strength or knowledge or inspiration, but your is the first to bring me to tears. For a cancer patient to say we have the hard job is such an honor. The courage that I saw in each person when I took my mom to her treatments to fight for there lives against this disease, for not only themselves but for there families made my job easy. So let me say thank you, you made me feel that I did everything I could for my mom and that she knew that I was there as she slept. I can't stop crying as I write this, you have given me much needed peace. You assured me my mom did not die alone and she really knew I was with her every step of the way. I was so scared for her to take that final step and feel alone not knowing I held her in my arms till her final breath. Thank you for giving me closer that I didn't know I needed until I read your post.

ktlcs's picture
ktlcs
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

I too was a caregiver throught my husband illness. I would do it all over again just to have him back

This was a beautiul and caring post

Thank You

Kathy

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

ketziah35
Posts: 1154
Joined: Jun 2010

I have questioned my involvement in my mother's care. Due to crazy family issues, I wonder if I should have been there at all.

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

I'd like to add one more thing to be thankful for (although I cannot express as beautifully as Buckwirth)

You supported the way I needed to handle things emotionally: when I needed to be "upbeat", you were upbeat alongside me; when I needed to cry, you cried with me; when I needed to obsess, you never questioned that, but when I needed to be distracted, you were right there with whatever distraction I needed.......

Tara

johnnybegood's picture
johnnybegood
Posts: 1122
Joined: Oct 2008

this is just beautiful,thanks for posting this thread buck...Godbless...johnnybegood

pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

blake,

our suffering ends when it ends, often our carers grief continues on.
"its not possible to thank them enough" this is so true
my wife is running our business in the city while I look after the kids.
i'll send her a little message of thanks.

pete

ron50's picture
ron50
Posts: 1721
Joined: Nov 2001

And for some who had no caregivers and faced it all alone you also have my love and admiration,you are special heroes.hugs Ron.

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

@Buckwirth: As I was reading your note....I didn't realize how much I needed to hear what you wrote...all this time I was fighting with the fact that I failed and killed my most precious one, my Mom. Reading your post, made me realize that maybe I should not feel this way. I fought for her while no one else was there. And as you said, I'm sure my Mom knew how hard I tried, and that I loved her truly! Reflecting back I realized how much I was hiding my feelings from her...that fear that one day it will come and she'll leave me! The whole time I showed her that I'm strong, and I'm positive and that we'll win! And I only hope she knows how much I loved her...and I hope she remembers how I was there, laying next to hear as she left...I don't know. It's been a year already, but every night as I'm crawling into bed I keep staring at the window...I always hope she'll tap the window to let her in...I'm still waiting for her to come back! She promised me she'll talk to me and that she won't leave me alone...she hasn't said anything yet...and sometimes I get the feeling that maybe she forgot me already....maybe she doesn't like me anymore...where is she? When is she coming back? I really really hope that she knows that I love her, and everything I did for her while trying to make her stay alive I did with all my strength!
Thank you so much for your post!
Sophie

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Your Mom knows + she loves + appreciates you for it. You stepped up big time at such a young age. Some adults would never have been able to do 1/2 of what you did. Be proud; you are an inspiration to me + I am honoured to know you.

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

Thank you Anne...you're nice.

BettyJoM's picture
BettyJoM
Posts: 86
Joined: May 2011

I have a granddaughter just about your age. you are wonderful to have taken care of your mom as much as you did. Some people wont do anything to help sick family but as young as you are you did what you could. you need to feel so proud of yourself
you know its natural to feel some kind of guilt after someone dies. I still remember many many years ago my husband's little brother asked me to make him beef stew and I told him next week, and he died 2 days later. It was a stupid thing to feel guilty about but I did and I still remember it today, 40 years later

When my husband died 13 years ago, I spent 3 months taking care of him here at home, only left the house twice in 3 months. I felt so guilty after he died because I am a nurse, I should have known sooner he was sick, maybe he could have gotten better if he was diagnosed sooner.
Honey, we do what we can, be proud of yourself and know that some day we will see them again
Now its time to take care of yourself sophie
Betty Jo

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Sophie,
Your love for your mom is so pure and she knew it then and knows it now. She may not have spoken to you yet but she is guiding you. You are an amazing young woman. She is proud. We are proud of you.

Aloha,
Kathleen

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

Kathleen: thank you for your note too...I wish i was proud of myself, but there's nothing I can be proud of...I couldn't help my Mommy...she left me...>.<

herdizziness's picture
herdizziness
Posts: 3642
Joined: Apr 2010

You made me cry. She's your Mom, of course she realized you were there for her, and were next to her as she made her journey to another place and time.
If there is a Heaven, she's watching over you and loving you. You'll always have her heart.
As I've told my children, when I pass, look for a star in the sky, they'll know the right one when they see it. And it'll be me, shining down on them, pouring my everlasting love to them, I shall always be there, in their hearts, just like your mother is in yours, she will never ever leave your heart.
Winter Marie

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

Hey Marie:

Thank you for your note....interesting...Mom said the same to me...she always told me that when I'll look up on the sky, and find the brightest star that's her...and I often look up and look for her. I do see her! But it still bothers me that she is so quiet...because she also promised me that she'll talk to me. And I know she will come back, she just have to get over the past...or...at least, I hope she'll come back. She has to!

SisterSledge's picture
SisterSledge
Posts: 342
Joined: Feb 2011

Promises are sometimes given even though we have no idea how we will fulfill them. Perhaps your Mom has not yet found a path that will bring her to you. Have patience...and know that your mom resides in all that is beautiful.

BettyJoM's picture
BettyJoM
Posts: 86
Joined: May 2011

Janine is so right

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

This is such a beautiful post. You + Malee are lucky to have each other. I hope you showed her your post.

gerryo's picture
gerryo
Posts: 50
Joined: Jun 2010

I am a caregiver! I would not have it any other way. There is no one out there that can take of my husband as I can. I appreciate the thanks, but I don't believe we do it for that. I do it for the love I have for my husband of 45 years. We are in this together.

tabur's picture
tabur
Posts: 71
Joined: Jul 2009

"And you are there, holding our hand as the struggle ends"

That line really got to me...

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

3 weeks after I finished my chemo I became caregiver for both parents. My Dad had been on Hospice at home for 2 years, Amaloyd strokes, and I took care of him for 1 year prior to my own dx. 3 weeks after I finished up my chemo my Mom was dx'd with advanced lung cancer in both lungs and it had spread throughout her body. I basically moved in.

In my opinion from my own experience being a caregiver is much harder than being a patient.
I would do it all over again.Yes, indeed..

-Pat

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I'm a double cancer survivor, and have been a caregiver for my retarded daughter, my sister, my beau, and now my mom.

Caregiving is much harder, IMHO, and fairly thankless...(other than your own feelings of caring for someone you love).

Hugs, Kathi

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

Who is not there, often turn against you, or question your dedication.

Much easier being the patient.

Love to all

Blake

Anonymous user (not verified)

This comment has been removed by the Moderator

Buckwirth's picture
Buckwirth
Posts: 1272
Joined: Jun 2010

Seems like a good time.

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Thanks for bumping this one up Blake. It does seem appropriate, especially today.

My Mom has been gone for 6 months & my Dad will be gone 8 months tomorrow. It still hurts so bad and I miss them so much but time has a way of healing the heart.

Bump...

jjaj133's picture
jjaj133
Posts: 869
Joined: Mar 2011

Beautiful.

abmb's picture
abmb
Posts: 311
Joined: Sep 2009

Thank you so much. Margaret

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Gives me solace to read it over and over again, I get a calm feeling............Clift

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Beautiful! Thanks for posting it.

*hugs*
Gail

Lelia's picture
Lelia
Posts: 98
Joined: Jun 2011

I can't say it any better than others already have. It never seems I'm doing enough, I'd do anything to make things better. It's the most helpless feeling ever and I've found 'helpless' a very strange place to be, not in my repertoire.

Thank you Blake, I didn't know there were people like you and am very grateful to have found CSN.

Marianne313
Posts: 124
Joined: Mar 2011

this was nice. I don't consider myself a caregiver though, just someone who loves the person who is ill and while I know she'll die I'm going to do everything, regardless of how small or big, to try to make sure she's here at least one more day, year, hour, minute so that's why I keep caring and giving, I feel like the more I do the less she has to worry over and that relieves stress (I hope) and saves her strength (I hope) ....because I guess none of us ever give up, regardless of how dire the news may be, even though we KNOW, we just won't give up.

sorry if that doesn't make sense.

I love this post. I'm coming to care so much for all of you even though I've never talked to most of you. You're all so special. Thank you.

Marianne

pebjns
Posts: 14
Joined: Apr 2011

I would do anything to help my mom out. Doctor's visits, going to treatments, helping out in the house, grocery shopping, whatever she needs I'll always be there.

Carl_Renee's picture
Carl_Renee
Posts: 84
Joined: Jun 2010

moving and well written. the "caregiver" is definitely not the easiest of jobs. I feel helpless when my husband feels at his worse and my stress levels go thru the roof of how much more can I do. Somehow I just do and do and don't think about it in the moment.

Carl and Renee

AncientTiger's picture
AncientTiger
Posts: 130
Joined: Mar 2011

"Yours is the hardest job, and it is not possible to thank you enough"

Truer words were never spoken (or written).

I know for a FACT that care-givers, or rather CFGA's (Cancer Fighter Guardian Angels), deal with a tornado of emotional issues and real world issues that we as cancer patients don't have to deal with. We have issues, to be sure, but NOTHING like that.

I really don't know if I could have done HALF what MY guardian angel did while I was in the hospital.. work an 8 hour day, get kids from school, clean house, cook supper, help with homework, get smallest of the little 'uns to bed, load up in the car and try to rush into town to the hospital to spend a little time with hubby in his room before visiting hours are over... holy CRAP batman!!

I DO know one thing... without her, I would NOT have made it. There's very strong ties between body and soul, and when your soul is broken, a person NEEDS someone to help mend it. Without her, I could not have stood the emotional aspects of what I went through, and if I live to be 110 years of age, I'll NEVER be able to tell her THANK YOU enough. A few million years into Eternity, I may be able to tell her thank you enough, but not in THIS short lifetime.

And THANK YOU Buckwirth, for sharing this

Subscribe to Comments for "A Thought for the Caregivers (dedicated to all caregivers)"