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trishell
trishell Member Posts: 20
edited March 2011 in Ovarian Cancer #1
Hello everyone. My name is Trishell. I was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer two weeks ago. I don't know anything about cancer or what is going on with me. I had extremely bad abdominal pains and after several diagnoses and ER visits, I was told that I needed surgery for a total abdominal hysterectomy. It was after the surgery when I was told that I had cancer. They took out all of the big lumps of cancer and the tumor. I have to go through chemo on the 22nd of this month. I am so scared and depressed. I have a very supportive family but no one to talk to about being depressed. I am tired of them telling me to be positive when I don't feel that way. I would give anything to be happy and optimistic. It's just not that easy. I have 6 children that I love dearly and was about to work on my last. Yes, I am blessed that I had my kids before this happened but was not ready to stop just yet. Most people do not understand how I feel about that since I have so many. I feel so weak most of the time and cannot interact with my young children like they would like for me to. It is a hurting feeling. I am so scared. I don't know anything about chemo. I have lost 25 pounds already. I try to eat but cannot. I try to sleep but cannot. I NEED help/advice/something. PLEASE. I just want to give up. I dont think that my body can take it. I have read some of you guys' posts and you are so strong. I am used to listening to peoples stories. Not writing my own. Well, that's the best short story about what's going on that I think I can give. ANYTHING would probably help right now. I have so many questions.

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  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #2
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    Welcome Trishell
    I welcome you as I was welcomed to this board, sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. When I found this board I was where you are at right now. It is a totally scary experience so you have every right to feel that way. I know what you mean about everyone wanting you to be optimistic when you don't feel that way. It is because they are having a tough time too. Believe me, you will find the strength you need. I have been called brave by family and friends but don't really think I am. I just do what I have to do to try and get well. There is a lot you have to deal with right now but try to take it a step at a time. You will get a lot of good advice and information from all the wonderful ladies on this board who are walking the same path. I wish you the best of luck and you will be in my prayers.

    Karen
  • trishell
    trishell Member Posts: 20
    #3
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    kikz said:

    Welcome Trishell
    I welcome you as I was welcomed to this board, sorry we had to meet under these circumstances. When I found this board I was where you are at right now. It is a totally scary experience so you have every right to feel that way. I know what you mean about everyone wanting you to be optimistic when you don't feel that way. It is because they are having a tough time too. Believe me, you will find the strength you need. I have been called brave by family and friends but don't really think I am. I just do what I have to do to try and get well. There is a lot you have to deal with right now but try to take it a step at a time. You will get a lot of good advice and information from all the wonderful ladies on this board who are walking the same path. I wish you the best of luck and you will be in my prayers.

    Karen

    Thank you
    Thank you Karen. This really helps. I can't stop crying. Does anyone have a port in their chest? If so, does in hurt? (being put in, chemo being administered, painful in general). What is another option besides surgery if they decide that I have to have it again? What is the life span of women with this type and stage of cancer? I have a little good news. I am getting a little sleepy and it's only 1am. Usually I can't get to sleep till about 5am and have to be back up a couple of hours later with the kids. Lol.
  • nancy591
    nancy591 Member Posts: 1,027 Member
    #4
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    hello
    Hi,
    WOW, six kids is alot. I too was misdiagnosed for several months. I was dignosed with stage 4. Chemo is not as bad as you think it might be. I lost 20lbs after my surgery but have since gained it all back...and then some. On here you find that some women gain it all back and some women have loss of appetite. The steriods you will receive with your chemo will boost your appetite. I have chest port for the chemo and it is wonderful!!! There is a numbing ointment then can give you to apply prior to the port being accessed and that should help dull the pain. I have no need to use the numbing agent though I may have used it twice when I initally had it placed. Talk to your doc about depression. Most women are prescribed antidepressants when dignosed. I have young kids too so I understand the stress it takes to be parent when all you want to do is crawl in bed. My youngest was 3 at time of diagnosis and I did enroll him in a full time day care program. I needed to. On the days I felt better I would keep him home with me. Your inital chemo will most likely be once every 3 weeks for about 6 cycles. You will probably feel 'yucky' th first 7 days but the remaining 14 you will probably feel pretty good!!!! Wtching your tumor marker falling will make it all worth while. Another good thing is 80% of women respond positively to this treatment!!! Chances are you will respond great too and it will all be worth it. You will probably lose your hair with this treatment. Think about wigs or headcovers now. Check out headcovers.com or wigs.com Try not to think about survival rates at this point. Focus on the chemo kicking the cancers butt and giving you a lengthy remission. There are plently of women on here who have had long remissions. I personally know a woman who was diagnosed in there 20s with stage 3 and is not 18years with NO recurrence. Good luck to you and feel free to share your concerns, questions and fears. Chances are someone knows exactly how you are feeling!!!
  • trishell
    trishell Member Posts: 20
    #5
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    nancy591 said:

    hello
    Hi,
    WOW, six kids is alot. I too was misdiagnosed for several months. I was dignosed with stage 4. Chemo is not as bad as you think it might be. I lost 20lbs after my surgery but have since gained it all back...and then some. On here you find that some women gain it all back and some women have loss of appetite. The steriods you will receive with your chemo will boost your appetite. I have chest port for the chemo and it is wonderful!!! There is a numbing ointment then can give you to apply prior to the port being accessed and that should help dull the pain. I have no need to use the numbing agent though I may have used it twice when I initally had it placed. Talk to your doc about depression. Most women are prescribed antidepressants when dignosed. I have young kids too so I understand the stress it takes to be parent when all you want to do is crawl in bed. My youngest was 3 at time of diagnosis and I did enroll him in a full time day care program. I needed to. On the days I felt better I would keep him home with me. Your inital chemo will most likely be once every 3 weeks for about 6 cycles. You will probably feel 'yucky' th first 7 days but the remaining 14 you will probably feel pretty good!!!! Wtching your tumor marker falling will make it all worth while. Another good thing is 80% of women respond positively to this treatment!!! Chances are you will respond great too and it will all be worth it. You will probably lose your hair with this treatment. Think about wigs or headcovers now. Check out headcovers.com or wigs.com Try not to think about survival rates at this point. Focus on the chemo kicking the cancers butt and giving you a lengthy remission. There are plently of women on here who have had long remissions. I personally know a woman who was diagnosed in there 20s with stage 3 and is not 18years with NO recurrence. Good luck to you and feel free to share your concerns, questions and fears. Chances are someone knows exactly how you are feeling!!!

    Nancy, that makes me feel
    Nancy, that makes me feel sooooo much better. I have been poked and prodded so much these past few weeks that I am tired of all the pain. I am expecting the hair loss on my head and prepared for that. My family and hubby said that I will look good like that. I am NOT prepared for hair loss everywhere else. Lol. I guess I will have to invest in fake eyelashes and eyeliner for my brows. Just to think that I used to make fun of this girl who shaved her eyebrows on purpose just to make her own. Now look at me. Lol. I am now looking forward to the steroids. It took 12 years for me to gain the weight that I wanted. Now I have to start all over again. My appetite is shot. I do get hungry but cant finish anything that I eat. The small meals a day is frustrating when I am used to putting down a whole lot of food. Lol. I do have a problem with headaches everyday. I dont know what to do about those. I havent been told to take anything and I dont want to use something that I am not supposed to. I am pretty stupid about this whole situation. How many kids do you have? Mine are 1b, 2b, 3b, 5g, 7b, 8g. I cant afford child care. Lol. Hubby does help out alot in that department when he is home. Did you feel clingy when you were diagnosed? I want to stay up hubbys butt all the time. I dont know why. He gets frustrated with that. One more question. Are my insides still supposed to be hurting? Yes my incision hurts but thats not it. My whole abdominal area is still hurting. More information on this is surely appreciated.
  • Mwee
    Mwee Member Posts: 1,338
    #6
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    Welcome Trishell
    Of course we're sorry to meet under these circumstances, but you have come to the right place for answers to many of your questions. I was diagnosed 3C in 2006, been through the surgery, chemos, etc. and I depend on the warm, intelligent, loving and caring people on this board for support. There is nothing like the understanding that you get from those who have "been there, done that"! Don't fear getting a port, it will enable you to get your chemo and you get used to it very quickly. No question, fear or feeling that you are experiencing will sound unusual, so ask away. You are not alone.
    (((HUGS))) Maria
  • Cafewoman53
    Cafewoman53 Member Posts: 735 Member
    #7
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    trishell said:

    Nancy, that makes me feel
    Nancy, that makes me feel sooooo much better. I have been poked and prodded so much these past few weeks that I am tired of all the pain. I am expecting the hair loss on my head and prepared for that. My family and hubby said that I will look good like that. I am NOT prepared for hair loss everywhere else. Lol. I guess I will have to invest in fake eyelashes and eyeliner for my brows. Just to think that I used to make fun of this girl who shaved her eyebrows on purpose just to make her own. Now look at me. Lol. I am now looking forward to the steroids. It took 12 years for me to gain the weight that I wanted. Now I have to start all over again. My appetite is shot. I do get hungry but cant finish anything that I eat. The small meals a day is frustrating when I am used to putting down a whole lot of food. Lol. I do have a problem with headaches everyday. I dont know what to do about those. I havent been told to take anything and I dont want to use something that I am not supposed to. I am pretty stupid about this whole situation. How many kids do you have? Mine are 1b, 2b, 3b, 5g, 7b, 8g. I cant afford child care. Lol. Hubby does help out alot in that department when he is home. Did you feel clingy when you were diagnosed? I want to stay up hubbys butt all the time. I dont know why. He gets frustrated with that. One more question. Are my insides still supposed to be hurting? Yes my incision hurts but thats not it. My whole abdominal area is still hurting. More information on this is surely appreciated.

    Wow
    You have been handed such a burden ! Thank goodness for the six kids you won't have much time to worry, but you will anyway. It is such a shock to get this diagnosis try to take some time for yourself to process everything.
    Your insides may be hurting if you are overdoing it, your insides have to heal as well as the outside but I would check with your Dr. I just wanted to say it will get better, I 'm not talking about your physical health( that to will get better ) but you will get over the shock of everything surgery,treatment,being overwhelmed by all of it. This board is a great place to talk or ask questions some of the ladies here know almost everything about this cancer. Let us know how you are doing.
    Colleen
  • pattysoo
    pattysoo Member Posts: 170
    #8
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    New
    You have had a lot to take in, and from your point of view, none of it good. I had a really tough time dealing with this diagnosis emotionally - still do. But I made up my mind to take care of the physical healing. I walked as much as I could (got progressively better) ate carefully and healthfully, rested when I needed to, prepared for the hair loss. That way, I expected to endure the side effects of chemo as well as I could. Everyone is different, of course, but I didn't find chemo to be too awful - there were a few days of icky-ness, and then I just carried on. I lined up help from those who offered it, and that was really useful. There are lots of different therapies, and I feel certain that one or more will work for you. Read everything that interests you on this board. These women are great and you'll learn lots.
  • pattysoo
    pattysoo Member Posts: 170
    #9
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    New
    You have had a lot to take in, and from your point of view, none of it good. I had a really tough time dealing with this diagnosis emotionally - still do. But I made up my mind to take care of the physical healing. I walked as much as I could (got progressively better) ate carefully and healthfully, rested when I needed to, prepared for the hair loss. That way, I expected to endure the side effects of chemo as well as I could. Everyone is different, of course, but I didn't find chemo to be too awful - there were a few days of icky-ness, and then I just carried on. I lined up help from those who offered it, and that was really useful. There are lots of different therapies, and I feel certain that one or more will work for you. Read everything that interests you on this board. These women are great and you'll learn lots.
  • trishell
    trishell Member Posts: 20
    #10
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    Ladies
    You beautiful ladies are so great!!!! I feel so comforted and at ease right now. I know that my emotions will be up and down. I'll just try not to let it get the best of me. I have to tell you about what happened after my surgery... It was a few days after and it was my worst day ever. I felt so tired and weak. Then I saw this field of flowers in my hospital room. A bridge was coming over it. As soon as it was in my reach, I touched it and it disappeared. I was looking at the hospital wall all over again. But in that little amount of time, I felt so great. The feeling is something that can't be described as an actual feeling but as a state of mind. Then reality hit me and so did the pain. Lol. But I will never forget that day. On a separate note, I would love to hear all of your stories. So if you are in the mood to share, please do. You guys have listened to me and I think it's my turn to do the listening.
  • nancy591
    nancy591 Member Posts: 1,027 Member
    #11
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    trishell said:

    Ladies
    You beautiful ladies are so great!!!! I feel so comforted and at ease right now. I know that my emotions will be up and down. I'll just try not to let it get the best of me. I have to tell you about what happened after my surgery... It was a few days after and it was my worst day ever. I felt so tired and weak. Then I saw this field of flowers in my hospital room. A bridge was coming over it. As soon as it was in my reach, I touched it and it disappeared. I was looking at the hospital wall all over again. But in that little amount of time, I felt so great. The feeling is something that can't be described as an actual feeling but as a state of mind. Then reality hit me and so did the pain. Lol. But I will never forget that day. On a separate note, I would love to hear all of your stories. So if you are in the mood to share, please do. You guys have listened to me and I think it's my turn to do the listening.

    stories
    If you click on someones name it will show their bio if they chose to put it there. Do you have anyone to help you with the kids while you recover on your chemo days? I can't imagine having all those babies to take care of. You are going to need help.
  • trishell
    trishell Member Posts: 20
    #12
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    nancy591 said:

    stories
    If you click on someones name it will show their bio if they chose to put it there. Do you have anyone to help you with the kids while you recover on your chemo days? I can't imagine having all those babies to take care of. You are going to need help.

    kids
    Thanks for the info. I have my hubby to take care of the kids. My oldest daughter is also very helpful. If things get out of hand, my mother can step in and help out. I have to see how I react to the treatments. If I don't tolerate it well, my husband's parents will come and get the kids for a while. I have a very supportive family including my inlaws. On top of that, my neighbors are also willing to help. I am looking at them sleep and I just can't stand not to be around them. They are my life. They are the reason why I refuse to become a statistic. I'm trying to get myself ready for all of this so I am pumping myself up the best way I know how....By being stubborn. Lol.
  • kikz
    kikz Member Posts: 1,345 Member
    #13
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    trishell said:

    kids
    Thanks for the info. I have my hubby to take care of the kids. My oldest daughter is also very helpful. If things get out of hand, my mother can step in and help out. I have to see how I react to the treatments. If I don't tolerate it well, my husband's parents will come and get the kids for a while. I have a very supportive family including my inlaws. On top of that, my neighbors are also willing to help. I am looking at them sleep and I just can't stand not to be around them. They are my life. They are the reason why I refuse to become a statistic. I'm trying to get myself ready for all of this so I am pumping myself up the best way I know how....By being stubborn. Lol.

    I am so glad you are feeling better
    Trishell. This board is a Godsend because you can say anything you feel and ask anything you need to know more about. You seem like you have things under control and have a lot of help lined up which is crucial. Family and friends truely helped me get through the hardest times. I wish you the best and I am confident you will get through it fine. You have a lot of determination not only for yourself but for your children.

    Karen
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #14
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    Just wanted to say
    welcome Trishell! I am so sorry you had to come and find us. You sound like a very strong woman and mom. Please come anytime and keep us updated on your life. Just take it a day at a time and don't be afraid to let people help you.
    Love and hugs,
    kathleen❥
  • antcat
    antcat Member Posts: 270
    #15
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    Hi Trishell
    I was so sorry to hear your story. I, too, originally had bad abdominal pains and everyone told me at work that it was probably just "gas." Funny thing was after about 2 weeks, the pain did go away, but then came back full force about 8 weeks later which necessitated in me being rushed to the emergency room. It was there after a CT scan that I found out I had ovarian cancer. I had been provided with an excellent gynecologist/oncologist who did my surgery. I don't know who picked him but I was very lucky and until today, I still go to him. He is the most compassionate and kindest individual you ever want to meet and always tries to give me hope. I just wish I could be optimistic but I know it's hard. The first time I had cancer I was also given an oncologist, again I don't know who picked him. He was pretty good the first time and I was cancer free for about 16 months. But, it came back again and I stuck with that first oncologist. However, the 2nd time around he was absolutely horrible. I don't know what happened, maybe it was because his wife started working with him in the office, but I didn't get very good care. As a result the cancer came back a 2nd time and I changed to a female oncologist. She was not good, she more or less gave me no hope. So when my cancer came back again, I decided to go to a cancer center. What I'm trying to let you know is that it is so important to make sure you have the right team of doctors, starting with your gyn/oncologist. In the past my medical oncologist would not even work with my gyn/oncologist or primary care physician. He would not share information regarding blood work, CT scans or tests. He didn't even share it with me unless I asked for it. So, please make sure you have a good team of doctors, it's very important. Last year I decided to finally get a Port for chemo. I never wanted one as I felt that the cancer was so final, but you know what I am glad I got the port. I was getting very black and blue from the weekly blood draws and lines for chemo and with certain chemos you have to be very careful as they can irritate a vein. I, too, still have trouble sleeping at nite and have talked to my primary care physician about it. It's only natural that we worry with the cancer and you need to stay strong, as you have a beautiful family and alot to live for.
  • LaundryQueen
    LaundryQueen Member Posts: 676
    #16
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    Mwee said:

    Welcome Trishell
    Of course we're sorry to meet under these circumstances, but you have come to the right place for answers to many of your questions. I was diagnosed 3C in 2006, been through the surgery, chemos, etc. and I depend on the warm, intelligent, loving and caring people on this board for support. There is nothing like the understanding that you get from those who have "been there, done that"! Don't fear getting a port, it will enable you to get your chemo and you get used to it very quickly. No question, fear or feeling that you are experiencing will sound unusual, so ask away. You are not alone.
    (((HUGS))) Maria

    You are not alone
    Trishell

    I understand how scary it is to see the survival statistics for your diagnosis--whenever I read something negative, I just tell myself "that's not gonna happen to me." I was diagnosed with IIIc OVCA not very long ago (August, 2010) and I am in remission already. Just do what you have to do one day at a time and you have an 80% likelihood of being in remission, too.

    The chemo worked like magic for me. I was afraid of chemo at first but the oncology nurses are so nice and they have medications to help with the side effects. No matter how sick you feel, it will pass eventually.

    You HAVE to drink water. Smart Water is a type of bottled water that has electrolytes (like Gatorade without the flavoring or sugar) and you will feel better if you can at least get 1-2 liters of water in you every day.

    You have a lot of healing to do and you need protein. If you have no appetite now before chemo, talk to your doctor about getting IV nutrition feedings before you get into problems of malnutrition. The infusion port in your chest is not going to be painful and it makes your life a lot easier.

    Of course, you are expected to have pain--there is a LOT of tissue removed from inside the abdominal/pelvic cavity--and I had an unbelieveable amount of pain, too. I kept telling the doctors that I thought I had an intestinal infection. Finally, two months later, I was in the ER and had a stool culture done and DID have an intestinal infection that I picked up in the hospital when I had the hysterectomy! I didn't have diarrhea because the pain meds were constipating. The infection is called "C. diff" and you can get it just by taking a lot of antibiotics that kill off the friendly bacteria but not this bacteria.

    Constipation is painful, too, so make sure that you are having a BM every day. I ate a lot of applesauce and I think that helped keep me going (after the intestinal infection cleared up).

    You are going to be tired a lot of the time, let other people help you. Your older daughter should be able to help with the baby when she can. Besides getting over the shock of your diagnosis, it sounds like you are grieving for the children that you want but cannot have. It's heart breaking but it is better to go thru the grieving than to stuff those feelings inside.

    Keep telling yourself that you are strong and will do whatever it takes to be well again. You are already a survivor and you will be well again.
  • gret
    gret Member Posts: 3
    #17
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    new
    Hi Trishell my name is Gret I like you was diasonged recently as well with ovarian cancer.. So i understand how you are feelig right now..The one thing i can tell is please don't give. If ever feel like you want to cry or you just need to some to get in the ring with you to help you fight this drop me a line we can help each other
  • .molly2
    .molly2 Member Posts: 4
    #18
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    trishell said:

    kids
    Thanks for the info. I have my hubby to take care of the kids. My oldest daughter is also very helpful. If things get out of hand, my mother can step in and help out. I have to see how I react to the treatments. If I don't tolerate it well, my husband's parents will come and get the kids for a while. I have a very supportive family including my inlaws. On top of that, my neighbors are also willing to help. I am looking at them sleep and I just can't stand not to be around them. They are my life. They are the reason why I refuse to become a statistic. I'm trying to get myself ready for all of this so I am pumping myself up the best way I know how....By being stubborn. Lol.

    FAMILY
    HI TRISHELL
    I ALSO AM NEW I AM A STAGE 4 OC SURVIVOR IT WILL BE 3 YEARS IN MAY I HAVE HAD 1 SURGERY AND LOTS OF CHEMO WITH BREAKS IN BETWEEN. I KNOW YOUR SCARED AND THATS OK YOU HAVE 6 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN WHO LOVE YOU. THAT IS WHAT KEEPS ME GOING MY DAUGHTER AND MY NEW GRANDSON AND MY HUSBAND I KNOW YOU WILL BE FINE . BEING STUBBORN IS GREAT GOOD LUCK

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