turn for the worse
I'm afraid this is the beginning of the end. If his cancer has advanced he won't do any more treatment. But I am a glass half empty kind of person, and maybe I'll be happily relieved. Please send thoughts and good wishes our way.
Karen
Comments
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UPDATEhope0310 said:You and your husband are in
You and your husband are in my thoughts Karen.
Please keep us posted on the lumbar puncture.
Elysia
Unfortunately, the bad news kept on coming yesterday. He didn't have to have the lumbar puncture b/c the MRI showed the cancer had spread aggressively throughout his brain--and these were new, large lesions that weren't there on the MRI he had about a month ago. There is nothing else they can do. They give him only weeks--maybe a month. I took him home last night and set up home hospice. Unbelievable to think he went to work 2 days ago and now he is soiling himself and needs help getting dressed.
He is also hallucinating and we had a few scary moments yesterday evening. He thought he was being attacked by an intruder and was trying to escape--I had to wrestle him to the ground until he calmed down. I am trying to get a crisis care aide for the weekend before the regular home health aide and other hospice stuff kicks in on Monday. Otherwise we will muddle through on our own. I have Haldol to give him when needed. He is calm and sleeping now.
I will find the inner resources, like you all have, to deal with it. I broke down last night and probably will again, but right now I am relieved that we have a plan and supports in place.
Thank you for your wishes--we still need them, for a painless and peaceful journey.
Karen0 -
prayerskarenbeth said:UPDATE
Unfortunately, the bad news kept on coming yesterday. He didn't have to have the lumbar puncture b/c the MRI showed the cancer had spread aggressively throughout his brain--and these were new, large lesions that weren't there on the MRI he had about a month ago. There is nothing else they can do. They give him only weeks--maybe a month. I took him home last night and set up home hospice. Unbelievable to think he went to work 2 days ago and now he is soiling himself and needs help getting dressed.
He is also hallucinating and we had a few scary moments yesterday evening. He thought he was being attacked by an intruder and was trying to escape--I had to wrestle him to the ground until he calmed down. I am trying to get a crisis care aide for the weekend before the regular home health aide and other hospice stuff kicks in on Monday. Otherwise we will muddle through on our own. I have Haldol to give him when needed. He is calm and sleeping now.
I will find the inner resources, like you all have, to deal with it. I broke down last night and probably will again, but right now I am relieved that we have a plan and supports in place.
Thank you for your wishes--we still need them, for a painless and peaceful journey.
Karen
Karen,
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Kim0 -
For youangelyn said:Praying for you
Thinking and praying for both of you.
Thoughts and prayer for you and your family at this difficult time.0 -
peacful and painlesskarenbeth said:UPDATE
Unfortunately, the bad news kept on coming yesterday. He didn't have to have the lumbar puncture b/c the MRI showed the cancer had spread aggressively throughout his brain--and these were new, large lesions that weren't there on the MRI he had about a month ago. There is nothing else they can do. They give him only weeks--maybe a month. I took him home last night and set up home hospice. Unbelievable to think he went to work 2 days ago and now he is soiling himself and needs help getting dressed.
He is also hallucinating and we had a few scary moments yesterday evening. He thought he was being attacked by an intruder and was trying to escape--I had to wrestle him to the ground until he calmed down. I am trying to get a crisis care aide for the weekend before the regular home health aide and other hospice stuff kicks in on Monday. Otherwise we will muddle through on our own. I have Haldol to give him when needed. He is calm and sleeping now.
I will find the inner resources, like you all have, to deal with it. I broke down last night and probably will again, but right now I am relieved that we have a plan and supports in place.
Thank you for your wishes--we still need them, for a painless and peaceful journey.
Karen
Definitely sending thoughts that things r painlee and peaceful.
Like u said, it is overwelming to have someone working a few days ago lose so much capacity. I guess in some ways it is also the blessing...to be as good as possible for as long as possible. Does not make this moment easier...but it made past moments easier.
Thinking of u today.0 -
Oh Karen....NayPaul said:peacful and painless
Definitely sending thoughts that things r painlee and peaceful.
Like u said, it is overwelming to have someone working a few days ago lose so much capacity. I guess in some ways it is also the blessing...to be as good as possible for as long as possible. Does not make this moment easier...but it made past moments easier.
Thinking of u today.
My heart is heavy for you. Your post gave me chills, we were in that same exact spot beginning August 6th.
"There is nothing else we can do".......hated when they said that!! I was like WTH?? Yes you can, we are, come on!!!
Then I realized that it was the sad truth. They told us 4-6 weeks, mom pushed it to 7.
Hospice was so amazing.
Is he taking steriod for the brain tumors?
I hope that you will find the peace you need. I was so thankful to have those last 7 weeks. We all quit work and were just there. Talking about stuff, a lot of nonsense that came out of moms mouth....we just rolled with it. It was sort of full circle, I felt honored to be there for her, to help bath her, change her, do her nails, lay up in the hospital bed with her and talk..or not, just lay there.
...sigh........
Be good to yourself. We are all here for you..
Elysia0 -
Karenhope0310 said:Oh Karen....
My heart is heavy for you. Your post gave me chills, we were in that same exact spot beginning August 6th.
"There is nothing else we can do".......hated when they said that!! I was like WTH?? Yes you can, we are, come on!!!
Then I realized that it was the sad truth. They told us 4-6 weeks, mom pushed it to 7.
Hospice was so amazing.
Is he taking steriod for the brain tumors?
I hope that you will find the peace you need. I was so thankful to have those last 7 weeks. We all quit work and were just there. Talking about stuff, a lot of nonsense that came out of moms mouth....we just rolled with it. It was sort of full circle, I felt honored to be there for her, to help bath her, change her, do her nails, lay up in the hospital bed with her and talk..or not, just lay there.
...sigh........
Be good to yourself. We are all here for you..
Elysia
My heart broke while I was reading this, I have been praying that things would take a turn for the better.
You and your family will continue to be in my prayers.
Glenna0 -
prayers
Even though we have never met I am so sorry to hear of this latest news for you and your husband, you have been given some good advice here on this site and I would only add that I was blessed to be with both my parents (30 years apart) at both of thier death beds, as hard as that is you will feel so lucky you were able to be with your husband when he passes over and witness the peace that will envelope him, that look and thier release is what has given me peace over these years....I pray that for both of you.0 -
thank youhope0310 said:Oh Karen....
My heart is heavy for you. Your post gave me chills, we were in that same exact spot beginning August 6th.
"There is nothing else we can do".......hated when they said that!! I was like WTH?? Yes you can, we are, come on!!!
Then I realized that it was the sad truth. They told us 4-6 weeks, mom pushed it to 7.
Hospice was so amazing.
Is he taking steriod for the brain tumors?
I hope that you will find the peace you need. I was so thankful to have those last 7 weeks. We all quit work and were just there. Talking about stuff, a lot of nonsense that came out of moms mouth....we just rolled with it. It was sort of full circle, I felt honored to be there for her, to help bath her, change her, do her nails, lay up in the hospital bed with her and talk..or not, just lay there.
...sigh........
Be good to yourself. We are all here for you..
Elysia
thank you all for your prayers, it means so much to us.
Elysia, they decided not to give him steroids at the hospital, they said it wouldn't help. But I have gotten advice to the contrary from the VNS nurses and others. I have a call into his oncologist, plan to speak with him tomorrow. The VNS nurse also put in a call both to him and the hospice doctor. If it will help in anyway, he should have it.
Also, Elysia you said you felt honored to be there for her...that is how I feel too. If I can make him feel safe, happy and at peace it will be one of the best accomplishments of my life.
Karen0 -
Bless you Karenkarenbeth said:thank you
thank you all for your prayers, it means so much to us.
Elysia, they decided not to give him steroids at the hospital, they said it wouldn't help. But I have gotten advice to the contrary from the VNS nurses and others. I have a call into his oncologist, plan to speak with him tomorrow. The VNS nurse also put in a call both to him and the hospice doctor. If it will help in anyway, he should have it.
Also, Elysia you said you felt honored to be there for her...that is how I feel too. If I can make him feel safe, happy and at peace it will be one of the best accomplishments of my life.
Karen
Your wonderful attitude amazes me. Good for you. I hope you both have peace as you spend time together.0 -
positivity
u will be in my thoughts and prayers - everything will work out for the best0 -
positivity
u will be in my thoughts and prayers - everything will work out for the best0 -
In the same placekarenbeth said:UPDATE
Unfortunately, the bad news kept on coming yesterday. He didn't have to have the lumbar puncture b/c the MRI showed the cancer had spread aggressively throughout his brain--and these were new, large lesions that weren't there on the MRI he had about a month ago. There is nothing else they can do. They give him only weeks--maybe a month. I took him home last night and set up home hospice. Unbelievable to think he went to work 2 days ago and now he is soiling himself and needs help getting dressed.
He is also hallucinating and we had a few scary moments yesterday evening. He thought he was being attacked by an intruder and was trying to escape--I had to wrestle him to the ground until he calmed down. I am trying to get a crisis care aide for the weekend before the regular home health aide and other hospice stuff kicks in on Monday. Otherwise we will muddle through on our own. I have Haldol to give him when needed. He is calm and sleeping now.
I will find the inner resources, like you all have, to deal with it. I broke down last night and probably will again, but right now I am relieved that we have a plan and supports in place.
Thank you for your wishes--we still need them, for a painless and peaceful journey.
Karen
Karen
My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago with stage IV lung, brain, and now cancer in his spinal fluid. So far in total the poor man had 25 WBR treatments, 30 on chest and 16 on back and 7 round of chemo. He is now on a medaport at home. The medaport manages his pain ( dilaudin). He can no longer support himself walking and has no control of bowels. I am going to the Doctors this morning to discuss hospice. God Bless you as I am also worried that my husband may start to have neurologic behavior changes,0 -
Yes ....helenmills said:positivity
u will be in my thoughts and prayers - everything will work out for the best
Check with the onco....and your hospice nurse. True, the steriods will not change to outcome, but it will eliviate the swelling, which will help with the hallucinations. It is all about comfort and peace at this point.
Be good to yourself, big hugs!!!
Elysia0
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