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bad scan - very sad

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Dear Friends,
Wow that was a slap in the face. We were hoping that Dick's scan would clear him for flying. Instead we are fighting for "more time." He had his CAT yesterday and he has about 16 small nodes total in both lungs. Also a 5 cm mass up near his aorta. Also numerous small to med size lymph nodes. It's back. We were in shock last night, lots of tears and calls to our family. Had to wait till today to tell our 16 year old as she had her last final this morning. Onc in Hawaii thinks CPT11 + Erbitux and will consult with Dr. Lenz. Dr. Lenz called us back and wants a PET on Monday so he knows what he is dealing with. We are in the fight.
Please pray for all of us. Pray that we can keep peace in our family in the midst of this. Pray for our daughters, this is the only Daddy they can have.

Also, we may fly to Sloan Kettering asap. Any info would be very much appreciated.

Thank you for everything.

Aloha,
Kathleen

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

Oh Kathleen, my heart just broke when I read your post. All I can think of is wrapping you and your family up and rocking you and loving you. There's no more words right now.

here for you,
Leslie

Crow71's picture
Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

I thought you guys had it beat. You've done everything right. I'm so confused, worried for you, and sad.

Since my last bad scan I've been investigating different alternative treatments. Folfox and Folfori have failed and I'm not sure if trial are right for me. I have not posted on this yet because I'm sure what I'm going to do. PM me if you want to and we can talk about the options I'm considering.

plh4gail's picture
plh4gail
Posts: 1238
Joined: Oct 2010

Kathleen and Dick, I am hugging and holding on to you with all my love and prayers.

Gail

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry to read this. I really thought everything was going so well for Dick + now this bump in the road. This cancer is unpredictable + it is hard to adjust to the bumps. I know you will both fight this hard + win with the help of the medical team. Please know that all of you are in my thoughts.

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Dang! So sorry to hear you guys gotta fight the fight...AGAIN!!!! It's just not fair. Give a guy a break! You are all in my prayers! I started with 15+ in both lungs..... chemo wiped them out in a matter of months.... it can be done!!!! Hugs to you both!

Jennie

emrose's picture
emrose
Posts: 137
Joined: Dec 2008

Kathleen

I've been following Dick's story through your posts and this just caught me so off gaurd. I can't believe there is so much so soon. I am just devastated for you but also very hopeful! It seems that if anyone can handle this setback, it's Dick. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Please Keep us posted.

Laura

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Kathleen,
My heart breaks over your news. I will keep you, Dick, and the girls in my prayers. Please know there are so many here that love and support you all and we wish for an excellent plan to keep Dick's cancer under control.

If I can do nothing at all, let me know. David's been gone four months now and I don't want you to have to bear this pain. Oh, I do hate cancer.
So I will boldly ask God for a miracle for Dick.

Hugs and Healing,
Priscilla

newperson's picture
newperson
Posts: 76
Joined: Mar 2010

Oh, Gosh. I so wish this is not true. I'm so sorry for this bad news. I will be thinking of you and Dick. Hope you will find a plan to fight again. Keep fighting it. Hugs - Lucy

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

just months ago dick had clear scans now this :( i dont understand it, really dont. i do know as hard as it is to fight again dick will do it and beat this sob. you are in my prayers.love and hugs to you both

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

You both will be in my prayers!

luv3jay's picture
luv3jay
Posts: 534
Joined: May 2009

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I will keep you both in my prayers. I know we can beat this one step at a time.

-Sheri

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pete43lost_at_sea's picture
pete43lost_at_sea
Posts: 3908
Joined: Nov 2010

Dear Kathleen and Dick,

I too am so very sorry to hear of these horrible results.

Our illness keeps on making our lives so hard and strangely even more vulnerable and precious.

I loved that you asked us to pray for PEACE IN YOUR family, if that what you desire then I believe thats what you will receive. I firmly belive that PEACE and HEALING are good friends, one follows the other. Don't loose hope even though I know you are really worried.

God bless you both. I wished my faith were stronger, so even if god is planning to step in don't wait around and get all your next medical options covered.

Love Pete

khl8
Posts: 810
Joined: Nov 2009

Kathleen and Dick,
I am keepning you in my toughts and prayers, and it is with sincere hope that they can find something to do to keep this lastest growth at bay.
Hugs,
Kathy

jararno's picture
jararno
Posts: 189
Joined: May 2010

Sorry to hear this news. I know Dick has been fighting and will continue to fight will all he has! Hoping for the best for all of you.

Take Care,

Barb

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I am so very sorry, I hate this monster, I will be praying for Dick and your daughters and you. God Bless you all..You have been through so much, I am just so sad by this news, my heart hurts for you all..

HUGS
Beth

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3327
Joined: Jan 2010

I know it must feel like the weight of the world is on you both right now as you try to come to terms with this news.

Know that each and everyone of us here are reaching out with good thoughts, wishes and prayers that you and Dick will find the right treatment to beat back the cancer.

May God hold you in His hands, bring you peace of mind and healing.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2589
Joined: Jun 2006

Kathleen....I am so very sorry for you and Dick and your girls....who wanted this crappy news?

oh Kath...I just don't know what to say....sending you all the love and prayers I can muster

maggie

snommintj's picture
snommintj
Posts: 602
Joined: Mar 2009

I'm sorry to hear that. I thought the worst was behind you guys. But please don't get too discouraged. His most recent scan sounds almost exactly like my 1st scan after my Dr said I was NED. That was 2 full years ago. They've been happy, good health years. So I know you guys have some hurdles to cross but I think things will be good for quite some time.

LivinginNH's picture
LivinginNH
Posts: 1458
Joined: Apr 2010

Oh, Kathleen, I'm so very sorry to hear this news. I was expecting a different type of post - but I will pray for him and your family. God Bless you all... Luv and hugs, Cynthia

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6179
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear this news. Was so hoping that his scan would come back clean. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

Aud's picture
Aud
Posts: 480
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry. Holding you, Dick, and your daughters for Peace, Healing, and Strength for the fight ahead.
~Aud

hopeforcure49's picture
hopeforcure49
Posts: 111
Joined: Jan 2011

I'm sorry to hear this. Just when you think you are clear, it hits you like frieght truck. I'm also waiting for results on my post-op ct scan. I know it hurts with kids. I have two at home a 19 and 16yr old. Have Faith don't lose that. Your in my prayers.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Realize that this is the same as before and all came out ok...This is just a different path that will need to be taken. It does not mean anything definite. I thought mine was done then boom lung met...After another surgery the met is gone with no nodes, and all clear margins...now I will not wait for it to return, I will do exactly as I did before....Live my Life. Dick, I know what your feeling, I also know that it only means that it may take a little longer to get stable again, but you will get there again, I know you....and Kathleen, the caregiver and partner, the both of you did this before and came out ok, you will both do this again, and come out ok...Faith, in both God and in your uncanny ability to overcome all odds as the both of you do everyday......Love and Calm to the both of you, as well as the girls...You will all be fine........Clift

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

What a shocking turn of events:(

I also thought that things were moving in a good direction as well...I can tell this is serious from all of the multiple mets and the one big one near the aorta. You're definitely in the fight for sure.

Dick has been a warrior and you've served by his side throughout this whole ordeal - many highs and lows...I'm in the middle of my 3rd recurrence and have been fighting with radiation and chemo, so it's always tough to still be in the arena battling away, especially when we've all been at it for awhile.

I walk along with you both and hope that this next step will make things better.

-Craig

TMac52's picture
TMac52
Posts: 358
Joined: Aug 2010

There re no words of wisdom from me, just that I am sorry and will offer prayers for your family to heal together.
Tom

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2117
Joined: Oct 2009

Not what I wanted to log on and read today. I'm so very sorry. Since we also recently received bad news I do know exactly what you are feeling. I have no words of wisdom to get you through the next few weeks as you try to get a new plan of action going. It is tough, so very hard, you try and try and just can't get the upper hand. Like my George, Dick is in a tough spot but as long as there are options out there you really never know what will kick it into stability or remission.

George is curently on CPT-11 so if you need any info on side effects, let me know.

Take care - Tina

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Hello all,

Dick and I are awake and eating our oatmeal. The girls are asleep. It looks like a very nice day here in Hawaii so we are going to go out on the boat and zip around. We are both in shock but we want to make the days good.
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, they mean so much to me. Really you are amazing people.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

we love you, Dick and your girls. We are here for you Kathleen. I think living and being in Hawaii has got to make anyone's day brighter!

Holding you all in my thoughts and prayers!

PGLGreg's picture
PGLGreg
Posts: 741
Joined: Jul 2006

I'm very sorry about this news. But I wonder about the status of Dick's pilot license.

--Greg

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Kathleen,this is a very shocking news.I can imagine how much to cope with at right this momemt.You and Dick are in my prayers,hope for the best for everyone in your family.Take care.

sasjourney
Posts: 395
Joined: Jul 2010

Dick and Kathleen,

Stay strong and focus on the plan of attack. I know it is difficult as I am dealing with it again myself (I will post my news today). It is overwhelming and devastating, but you have to keep fighting and keep the faith. Many people have had reoccurances and beat it down again for long periods of time. Like they always say, one day at a time. Good luck at Sloan Kettering. Don't give up!!!

Hugs,
Sara

lmliess's picture
lmliess
Posts: 331
Joined: Dec 2008

I haven't posted in awhile but I got on today and my heart sank. I absolutely hate cancer and it takes so much from people. It gets hard being 'strong' all the time and I know Dick has to be sick of it. I have scans coming up the 21st and I just had my CEA tested last week. It is up a bit since I have been off chemo...3.1 to 6.1 and I have been fighting panic attacks now all week. I am truely sorry you have to deal with this. I am so sick of bad things happening to good people. Not that I would ever ever wish cancer on anyone (well maybe child molesters) but I go to work and I see the negative people who are mean to others and eat like crap all day, be has healthy as can be, while I take my supplements work out and treat people well and then I have to deal with stage IV cancer AND put my family through it.
I am truely sending you prayers and positive thoughts. You guys are so strong and are an inspiration because of the positive way you have fought this.....however I know you are just tired of it and for that I will pray for strength for you.

HUGS x 100

Linda

chicoturner's picture
chicoturner
Posts: 285
Joined: Apr 2009

Kathleen and Dick, I am so very saddened to read this. Please know you are in my prayers. Somehow we all move on and somehow (actually through the grace of God) we are able to go on. What we go on to is much different then we had planned in our head, but we do go on. I know that my life is certainly not what I had plan, nor is anyone involved on the board, but I will say my life is good. I survive on being accepted into clinical trials, but once I accepted that, I have relaxed and know that I am blessed to have these trials. It is too soon for you to feel this peace as you are still sorting out the plan, but know, my prayer is for your peace. Take care friends. You will surprise yourselves. Jean

C Dixon
Posts: 202
Joined: Jan 2010

Kathleen, I have to tell you that despite the news you sound strong. I know you may not feel all that but it's still something to sound that way. Ther ie no reason that Folfiri can't take care of this and I have grown to dislike CAT scans by themselves. I know you save radiation to yourself but you don't get the whole picture. A PET is good. I am praying for the Peace that passes all understanding for all of you.

Caherine

Erinb
Posts: 295
Joined: Apr 2010

Kathleen, Your news saddens me. I am sending prayers your way now.
You are in my thoughts.
Erin
fyi Did you see the news about the new chemotherapy drug? It is supposed to keep tumors stable and doesn't allow the cancer to spread with little side effects. Hopefully this is a start to help out our loved ones in stage 4. I caught it on the tail end of the news.

luvmylife's picture
luvmylife
Posts: 80
Joined: Jun 2010

Kathleen,
I replied to your post earlier but I don't think it went through. Anyway, my husband, Jimmy has stage IV colon ca. He has been on folfox w/avastin since July 2010. We went to Sloan at the end of Dec for a 2nd opinion. We met with Andrea Cercek, MD. She was very nice and told us that the treatment that Jimmy was already receiving was what she would do @ Sloan. I was a little disappointed as I was hoping for surgery of the tumor and liver met, but at least we are now in the system at Sloan and Dr. Cercek will consult w/our onco from now on. I am glad we went, though as I want to make sure I leave no stone unturned in the fight against this monster.

We have 3 boys (25,22 and 17) who think the world of their dad. I went to mass after I read your post and prayed for your family during the elevation of the Eucharist. Prayer is all we have at this stage of the game. It will give us the strength we need to fight this damn disease.

God Bless you and your family and keep in touch.

Jan

mommyof2kds's picture
mommyof2kds
Posts: 522
Joined: Mar 2009

So sorry to hear of the emotions you both are dealing with. I will keep you in my prayers. Petrina

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Hi Kathleen,

Man- it's a slap, isn't it. You think you do everything right, then "boom". As others have said,though, this doesn't mean it's "it". Several people have had recurrences and are still here, alive and kicking. I know how scary it is, though, for sure.
I'm glad you're consulting with more than just your local onc. If I'm right, Dick has just done Folfox, so far as the major chemos, as I correct? He's got more options, for sure.
I will most definitely be praying for that cancer to be stopped in its tracks in Dick. & am praying for you, the girls, and the rest of the extended family too.

Love to you- remember- as I know you believe... our strength is in the Lord, even when it's very hard to understand.
Hugs,
Lisa

Nana2's picture
Nana2
Posts: 255
Joined: Mar 2010

Dick and Kathleen, I am so sorry to hear this news. Please know you are loved and being remembered in prayer, you and all your family.
April

MelanieT's picture
MelanieT
Posts: 188
Joined: Nov 2009

I am so sorry and saddened by your news but also know what fighters you both are. I have gained alot of my strength from your posts and your kind words.. good luck we love ya

Loves,
Mel

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

Wow. I am just sickened by this. Kathleen, you and Dick and the girls have all my love, support and prayers.

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

Kathleen and Dick,

I am very saddened by your news. You have been such a great inspiration and support to me and I know many others on this board. And now it is time for us to carry you through this difficult time.

This cancer is such a beast! BUT, as many here will attest, do not give up hope. You can and will get this!

My sister went to see a liver surgeon at Sloan, and I do believe that some cancer centers back east treat this cancer differently. You should ping Melissaincali, as her husband was a doctor at Stanford and ended up flying to NY for treatment.

You are in my prayers daily! I am sure the ocean must be so calming for all of you and I am glad you are enjoying that together.

Hugs,
Marie

Lori-S's picture
Lori-S
Posts: 1287
Joined: Sep 2010

I am so sorry to hear this news. I will pray for our whole family and for the doctors to be able to put together a plan that will work. Hugs and prayers to you all.

dmdwins
Posts: 453
Joined: Aug 2008

I am having such a difficult time coming up with the words I want to say. You and Dick are two very amazing people. I have "watched" you battle this disease head on with strength, dignity,hope and so much love. It saddens me that you are needing to fight once again. I will be praying for you all.

Fondly,
Dawn

abmb's picture
abmb
Posts: 311
Joined: Sep 2009

so sorry to hear of your news. I will definitely keep your family in my Prayers. God Bless. Margaret

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

With all the troubles with my mom, I have been a bit side tracked...

Adding you ALL to my prayers, dearheart!

Please let me know if there is anything I can do...

Dutch hugs, Kathi

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

I am so sorry to hear this news. Right now, you are on that rollercoaster of shock, disappointment, sorrow -- but soon you will be in the planning stages for the next battle. Wishing you peace and hope and all good things.

Tara

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Oh, dear. I haven't felt very well in the last few days and haven't really caught up on everything here. So I somehow missed this post until now. I'm so shocked and so sorry. It seemed like Dick was feeling so very well! I really hate this for you and your family, and I pray that doctors will be able to offer something that will truly make a difference. Miracles do occur, and I'm praying one is coming your way.

*hugs*
Gail

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Kathleen, I just read this. So sorry. Please hang on to hope.

And if you don't mind my saying, I would try the liver and cleanses (me). I think if we try everything we can to cleanse our body, it's an added effort to destroy the cancer. Eat to build the immune system. Think positive, and try not to give in to this monster. Talk it out, cry it out but keep fighting. Much love, hope and prayer sent to you both.

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