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I got the answer to the question I never wanted to know the answer to

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Well, I have the probable answer to the question I really never wanted to know the answer for. What lit up on my liver and the lymph nodes that were enlarged and lit up on last fall's PET scan were most likely cancer. I have 3 nodes now enlarged and active, The biopsy was positive, I am stage IV.

The plan is FOLFIRI with Avastin. Maybe I'll get lucky and that will do the trick. Or I'll just be on chemo for the rest of my life. My onc did promise me breaks when I think I need them.

I pretty much knew this was going to be the result today, but that doesn't make it any easier...

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

This is a post that I never wanted to read from you. I am so sorry.

I am going to pray like mad that the FOLFIRI and Avastin kick it's butt.

Love and Hugs,

Holly

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks Holly - that is what I'm hoping. Oxy was hard on me - I expect Irinotecan and Avastin to be hard on the cancer!

abmb's picture
abmb
Posts: 311
Joined: Sep 2009

Thoughts & Prayers are with you. God Bless. Margaret

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thank you!

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I am sorry to hear this news. Here's hoping Folfiri + avastin will do the trick + make those nasty buggars go away.

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Kathryn, I am saying the same to you as I said to Eric...
Fight, fight, fight!! Eat well - veggies and fruits, drink lots of fluids and juice. Do everything you can to fight this. Stay strong and positive. We are pulling for you, honey.

Love,
Lizzy

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks - me too!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks - me too!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks - me too!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks - me too!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks - me too!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thank you - me too!

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Knowing the answers seldom makes it any easier, I have found throughout this trial. But, at least knowing is knowing and from there, we can move forward.

Your protocol sounds "sound." We'll absolutely hope that does the trick.

I'd say Welcome to the "club" but being a Stage IV doesn't make the ballons fall out of the ceiling, it just makes our road a little bit harder to hoe.

But knowing you, I know you can stand in there, Kathryn. I've got a bunch of stuff ahead myself with more chemo and radiation, so I understand how it was to hear what you already knew.

The road looks long now, but we've walked down this road together before, so we know the road markers ahead. I'll see you at the first "rest stop" - we'll chat:)

-Craig

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Although you are a great role model, I'm not aspiring to be just like you. I'm not sure I'm up to dealing with robots. ;)

Not just a bump in the road like first time around - now we just keep going over lots of bumps. But we've had practice, so while they might wear us down a bit more, we learn little tricks to deal with them better than before. And I don't see how Irinotecan can possibly attack me the way oxaliplatin did, with every weird side effect and the allergy. I'm going into the winter not having to worry about the cold issues with oxy either - another plus.

I hope you are getting enough rest to get you through your recovery right now. You've had a tough year. I'm pretty darn tough, but not sure if I'm put together quite as tough as you. I'll give it my best shot though!

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so sorry you got this bad news.I can only guess how hard this news is to hear, even if you did suspect the results beforehand. My thoughts are with you.From reading your posts I suspect you are one strong lady. Here's hoping, as always, that you will do well with the plan you have.

-Pat

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thank you. I am usually pretty tough, and cancer cells are NOT welcome in my body. I'll be kicking the out again.

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

I know it's very hard,no matter how much you could prepare to listen to the bad news.You are in my prayers,hopefully the treatment goes well.Take care.

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks!

Crow71's picture
Crow71
Posts: 681
Joined: Jan 2010

I'm really sad and pissed to read this. Is there any scenario where surgery would be an option?
"Chemo for life." I've heard the same thing. It's hard to take. Hang in there. We'll just keep living the best life we can and never lose hope.
Many sparks - Roger

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

No surgery for me. The nodes are in hard to reach areas. They could barely get to just one of them for the needle biopsy. Onc says that it would be very major surgery to get at the other two, and while they waited for me to recover, the other little cancer cells that we know are still hanging out in my body, would start growing too. FOLFOX did wipe out the cancer in the nodes that lit up last fall. So hopefully FOLFIRI will wipe out these, and take care of any stubborn cells that try to refuse to hit the road when they are kicked out.

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2118
Joined: Oct 2009

Not the news I wanted to hear. Well, go and have yourself a total freak out, scare the kids, scream, whatever,then take a deep breath and get back in the fight. Any chance you can have surgery or radiation to the liver before chemo?

I was thinking about you all day today and waiting for your post. I'm so sorry the news you received was not what you wanted to hear.

Take a deep breath, digest the news, meet with your docs and let us know what the game plan will be.

Hugs from Michigan to you - Tina

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Maybe it will come at some point? I don't know. The night before my appointment was my low point. I really already knew what I was going to here. But even though I was sure of it, suddenly on my way to the appointment I had a surge of hope - that somehow the thyroid troubles were tied to the lymph nodes and it wouldn't be cancer.

I've always said that I suspected I was stage IV all along, and that my onc thought so, but didn't want to say it to me. He was really aggressive - pushing me with all the troubles I had. He said his job was to push me and make sure every last cell was gone and didn't come back again. Now he says his job is to keep me alive with different chemo combos as long as it takes, while we wait for a new drug that will wipe out colon cancer cells, if the FOLFIRI doesn't do it.

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

The bad news sucks,I'll be praying for you.I hope the plan works.Just keep fighting.

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks, I plan on it.

grammadebbie's picture
grammadebbie
Posts: 429
Joined: Jun 2009

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry to hear of the news you got today. Really don't have the words to express my sorrow that you have to go thru all this. I know that you will dig deep and find the strength to continue to fight this. I am praying for you and your family.

Big hugs and prayers,

Debbie

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I will be fighting!

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6374
Joined: Feb 2009

This news is not what we all hoped for. Hoping that you have a plan of action with your oncologist for treatment. So sorry that this is your outcome. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kim

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks. Plan in place. Port Friday, and FOLFIRI with Avastin starting the next Friday.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

This is not at all what we wanted to read about you, dear. As has already been stated, though, you are a very strong person. Cancer better look out! Kick its butt!!!

*hugs*
Gail

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Planning on some major butt kicking!

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Dear Kathryn,

My heart aches for you when I read your post. That wasn't what any of us wants to hear. I am so sorry but you are such a fighter and I know you can beat this. Everyday I hate cancer more. My thoughts and prayers are for you to win this battle. Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs and Healing,
Priscilla

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks - I'll be fighting hard.

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Dear Kathryn,

My heart aches for you when I read your post. That wasn't what any of us wants to hear. I am so sorry but you are such a fighter and I know you can beat this. Everyday I hate cancer more. My thoughts and prayers are for you to win this battle. Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs and Healing,
Priscilla

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Dear Kathryn,

My heart aches for you when I read your post. That wasn't what any of us wants to hear. I am so sorry but you are such a fighter and I know you can beat this. Everyday I hate cancer more. My thoughts and prayers are for you to win this battle. Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs and Healing,
Priscilla

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Dear Kathryn,

My heart aches for you when I read your post. That wasn't what any of us wants to hear. I am so sorry but you are such a fighter and I know you can beat this. Everyday I hate cancer more. My thoughts and prayers are for you to win this battle. Let us know how you are doing.

Hugs and Healing,
Priscilla

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Yep.... Suck it does!!!! So sorry for your news. I gotta tell ya... that Folfiri/Avastin.... worked wonders on me. I thought I was dead for sure.... NOPE! It ate up almost 20 tumors between my liver and lungs...went from difficulty breathing to remission...... had a 7 month vacation... and now back in the fight again.... thats stage IV.... like they say...not curable...but treatable. Don't let that stage IV live rent free in your head!!! You gotta fight no matter what stage you are. You are going to be just fine. You take care.

Jennie

coolvdub's picture
coolvdub
Posts: 410
Joined: Aug 2009

Kathryn,

I remember when you came on the board, you were so active and asked all the right questions. You are a fighter, keep asking questions of your team and keep your chin up. You can beat this, but I'm still going to pray real hard for you.

Don

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Thanks Jennie. I'm glad to hear FOLFIRI and Avastin worked so well for you. I'm hoping it works well enough to get me a long vacation too! That is the plan - that I'll do 12 rounds and then try to take a little vacation while they monitor me closely. And we start back up with some combo again if it starts growing again. FOLFOX did get me to vacation point - but it didn't last long. I was clear in mid-May, but already not the beginning by mid-August, and we don't know exactly when it started growing again. I'll shoot to break your 7-month record!

thready's picture
thready
Posts: 475
Joined: Sep 2009

Kathryn,
We started together it this ugly war, you went through a hell of a battle with cancer and with the chemo, it seems so unfair that you have to do it again. We will all be with you cyberly.
I hate this disease!
Jan

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

I am stage !V and have a very aggressive ONC, be sure you have one too!! You can do it!! Keep positive, smile and kick butt!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Cancer isn't fair any way you look at it. Who knows why some are cured, and some are not. I've got a lot of fight left in me!

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 8077
Joined: Aug 2005

I'm sorry, dearheart, for the news...but knowing can be a power, also....

I haven't had mets, but 2 primary cancers...rectal, stage III, breast, stage II.

I really don't know which is worse...mets or multiple primary sites...I know what my insurance company thinks...if you are clean for 5 years from mets, you are insurable. If you have multiple primaries (like me), you are never insurable again...sigh...

Hugs, Kathi

pepebcn's picture
pepebcn
Posts: 6352
Joined: Aug 2010

You got a PM from me.

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I got it and replied.

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

This is my second primary. I fought cervical cancer for a couple years. I was NED for 5 years, then last fall my Pap was ASCUS. I didn't have a repeat check because chemo messes them up. I was going for the repeat the end of this month. But now it will be tomorrow before I start chemo again. I was just a stage IIa for cervical.

I'd take a dozen more primaries at stage II than one stage IV. But I'd prefer to have none of any kind, as we all would!

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I am so sorry you got this news, but please dont give up or in, FOLFIRI might just do the trick and get rid of those spots, there is that chance too. I will be praying for you..

HUGS
Beth

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ktlcs's picture
ktlcs
Posts: 360
Joined: Jan 2010

I am so sorry to hear this. But you have a good plan that I pray will work for you. Stay strong and fight the beast!

Kathy

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

I will be fighting!

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

This shouldn't happen to anyone, but it does. Just like getting cancer in the first place - it shouldn't happen to anyone. No rhyme or reason as to cancer's attack. I will be fighting hard again.

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