Modesty is no more!
So today was my first day back and im in the room with my PT and shes revaluating me so im half naked with my girls just hanging out. Then her PA comes in, then the student PA...pretty soon i had pretty much the whole staff in there. It was a party in my room with the girls as the guest of honor! I use to be an extremely modest person...now i just told everyone come on in theres no modesty here anymore. Its amazing how breast cancer can turn an extremely modest person into a show girl...hehe!
I guess they were all really glad to see me and my new girls...too bad lefty wasnt standing at attention for the show.
well anyway my PT thinks my arm is getting pretty bad cuz i can barely even lift it past my new girls...not good. My PT was kinda pulling my shoulder out of socket and moving it and it felt great for her to do this...never would of thought pulling my arm out of socket would be a part of my therapy ...who knew!!!
Plus she wants me to wear a lymphedema sleeve when i go on vacation since we will be in high altitude and since im having troubles with moving that arm...just as a prevention.
Comments
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You are right about the
You are right about the modesty part. I kinda feel like everybody in the county has had a look at my boobs at one time or another.
Sorry you are having issues with your arm. Hope they can help you while you are taking PT.
Hugs
Donna0 -
Good for you, Jo JoBlownAway60 said:You are right about the
You are right about the modesty part. I kinda feel like everybody in the county has had a look at my boobs at one time or another.
Sorry you are having issues with your arm. Hope they can help you while you are taking PT.
Hugs
Donna
You're right--modesty has gone out the window for me too! I saw a lymph specialist about getting a sleeve also as I will be flying twice in the next month. She took all my measurements and now they are custom making the sleeve. It's better to be safe than sorry. I'm also going to PT like you are and the exercises and massage are helping.
Good luck with your treatment and sleeve. WE WILL GET THERE!
Hugs, Renee0 -
I can relate JoJo. I am a
I can relate JoJo. I am a bit of a prude myself. I've told friends that never in my life have my breasts been groped so much by so many people!
A dear friend/Survivor of mine said she has no modesty anymore either. She said, at one particular doctor visit, she automatically started to undress when the nurse told her that wouldn't be necessary. She laughed and said that she was so used to getting undressed that it's become second nature.
I am glad to hear physical therapy was approved for you JoJo. They'll take care of you and your arm. And... have a blast on your vacation! Good for you! By the way... where are you going? Do tell!
BL0 -
not only had the boob partBella Luna said:I can relate JoJo. I am a
I can relate JoJo. I am a bit of a prude myself. I've told friends that never in my life have my breasts been groped so much by so many people!
A dear friend/Survivor of mine said she has no modesty anymore either. She said, at one particular doctor visit, she automatically started to undress when the nurse told her that wouldn't be necessary. She laughed and said that she was so used to getting undressed that it's become second nature.
I am glad to hear physical therapy was approved for you JoJo. They'll take care of you and your arm. And... have a blast on your vacation! Good for you! By the way... where are you going? Do tell!
BL
not only had the boob part but had the bum part too. one day I had a rads appt and a bum appointment and got confused about how to turn the johnny, with chemo brain I didnt know if I was coming or going! I am also very modest, my PT has examined me, dont think I would like a crowd though. when I had rads in 1995, they had it so you put your arms behind your head while three people stood there and looked at you . I told them this was uncomfortable for me, and there were probably other people for whatever reason would not like this either. They stopped. Now they ask me if med students can look, sometimes I say yes sometimes no. The worst was my gyn, knowing what I had gone through, she asked me if a med student could be in on my exam, I thought he would just be there, NOOOOOO he did the exam then she did it again, he did the pap too. I'm fresh and he was trying to be very professional, and wanted to say the proper words to get me to go down the table, I said"you mean assume the position?" then I found out he didnt even know if he was interested in gyn, and I was thinking I was at least advancing medical science,(maybe I was). but this is why I hate my gyn, she is cold, and fake and should have known not to ask. I'm tryiing to change0 -
JoJo
I learned in the past few years that all in the medical profession look at us clinically. Yes, those of us who used to be shy about such things are no longer. But you had a crowd looking at the "girls". All I have are incisions and pointy lumps that I wish were not there. I've never had to undress for any PT and I've had a lot (broke both shoulders)! Is this standard practice for lymphedema issues????? Anyways, I'm glad you're getting help with the arms and hopefully the sleeve helps.
Char0 -
Thanks ladies
Renee - I dont know what i would do without my PT...they have done wonders for me since i started seeing them shortly after my mastectomy and they have been a blessing especially when i had the expanders in.
BL - I think i get grooped just as much by all the doctors as i do my curious female family members. LOL!
Carkris - Your story is hilarious on the bum and boob confussion...lol!
Char - Im not seeing my PT for lymphedema...i dont have it, im just getting the sleeve as a preventive measure since im going into high altitude. They work on exercises and stretching with the focus on the chest muscles and the lymphnode removal area to get thoughs areas back to normal as much as possible and it requires undressing the top half so they can see those muscles.0 -
I see my PT for the samejo jo said:Thanks ladies
Renee - I dont know what i would do without my PT...they have done wonders for me since i started seeing them shortly after my mastectomy and they have been a blessing especially when i had the expanders in.
BL - I think i get grooped just as much by all the doctors as i do my curious female family members. LOL!
Carkris - Your story is hilarious on the bum and boob confussion...lol!
Char - Im not seeing my PT for lymphedema...i dont have it, im just getting the sleeve as a preventive measure since im going into high altitude. They work on exercises and stretching with the focus on the chest muscles and the lymphnode removal area to get thoughs areas back to normal as much as possible and it requires undressing the top half so they can see those muscles.
I see my PT for the same reason, I have had bilat lymph node resection so will use two sleeves when I fly. but she also checked out the scars(mobility) I feel very comfortable with her, and feel like she monitors me well.0 -
No modesty here either
Amazing what bc does to you. Have no problem letting my friends see my "work in progress" with my boob, if they want. That way, if they should ever encounter this (hopefully never), they will know what to expect. Jo Jo glad the physical therapy is working for you. Hugs, Jean0 -
sleeves
Dear JoJO,
Sorry to hear about your arm troubles. The lymphedema sleeves come in colors and Lymphdivas has pretty ones with patterns and prints. I wear mine most days but my PT says once the cooler weather arrives, I can try to go without it on days when I won't be lifting, pulling or at the computer all day. Making them a fashion accessory has helped me adjust to wearing it and getting questions about my arm.
Hugs, K0 -
KayNYC .. how interesting about the patterns andKayNYC said:sleeves
Dear JoJO,
Sorry to hear about your arm troubles. The lymphedema sleeves come in colors and Lymphdivas has pretty ones with patterns and prints. I wear mine most days but my PT says once the cooler weather arrives, I can try to go without it on days when I won't be lifting, pulling or at the computer all day. Making them a fashion accessory has helped me adjust to wearing it and getting questions about my arm.
Hugs, K
print lymphedema sleeves ..
Modesty went out the door for me 15 years ago, when my husband and I went thru 8 IVF's trying to conceive a 2nd child .. Visits to Gyno's for shots, drugs, weekly va jay jay visits .. I was left in the stir ups so many times - unattended, with PA's and surgeon's coming and going .. it was second nature to get myself undressed, and down very close to the edge of the examinating table .. never asked to scoot down! HA, talk about comfort zone ...
So my boobie's hanging out, is nothing for me ..
Yes, with illness, cancer or just trying to conceive a child, modesty is left at the entrance of any doctor's front door.
Vicki Sam0 -
You nailed it!VickiSam said:KayNYC .. how interesting about the patterns and
print lymphedema sleeves ..
Modesty went out the door for me 15 years ago, when my husband and I went thru 8 IVF's trying to conceive a 2nd child .. Visits to Gyno's for shots, drugs, weekly va jay jay visits .. I was left in the stir ups so many times - unattended, with PA's and surgeon's coming and going .. it was second nature to get myself undressed, and down very close to the edge of the examinating table .. never asked to scoot down! HA, talk about comfort zone ...
So my boobie's hanging out, is nothing for me ..
Yes, with illness, cancer or just trying to conceive a child, modesty is left at the entrance of any doctor's front door.
Vicki Sam
No modesty left after BC for sure. One time tho, a man entered the room during a scan, and i covered up real quick because he had no identification tag on his body~~ I was not about to give him a "free peek"....he was official tho, when the technician came back in and saw me covered up~she asked why....and i pointed to him and said "who is he?" and well...he went and got his name tag on.
I felt all those emotions you described~ to a T.
Melanie0 -
Definitely no modesty for me
yup, you are so right! I really don't care who enters the examining room anymore, they all get to see them! I've had close friends and family who are also curious to see how the scars are healing, so I don't mind showing them at all. Years ago I would have been horrified to even show my stomach, and now I have people looking at my breast and stomach scars, and while they are certainly not the prettiest scars to look at, I think it's more about educating them and letting them know that I'm at peace with my body and I'm a survivor, so anything beyond that is a piece of cake
I'm so sorry to hear that your arm if giving you some problems. I actually have to go back to PT soon for my left arm, which is extremely tight (and I'm a lefty).....I wish you all the best with your treatment 0 -
So funny
I'm fairly new to BC but I'm already seeing my modesty disappearing. I've already started making jokes about how many times I've been "felt up." By the time I got to my 1st visit with my ONC, it was getting to be old hat. He asked if he could examine me and I said, "sure" and jerked my shirt over my head. Hubby was there and has been fussing about it ever since. He keeps teasing me about flashing my boobs at everyone. I saw my allergist today (because cancer alone isn't enough for me, I have asthma too LOL) and one of the 1st things hubby asked when I got home was, "did you show him your boobies?" LOL0 -
What is modestywinsomebulldog said:So funny
I'm fairly new to BC but I'm already seeing my modesty disappearing. I've already started making jokes about how many times I've been "felt up." By the time I got to my 1st visit with my ONC, it was getting to be old hat. He asked if he could examine me and I said, "sure" and jerked my shirt over my head. Hubby was there and has been fussing about it ever since. He keeps teasing me about flashing my boobs at everyone. I saw my allergist today (because cancer alone isn't enough for me, I have asthma too LOL) and one of the 1st things hubby asked when I got home was, "did you show him your boobies?" LOL
I think at least 50 people have seen my boob since I was diagnosed with bc. It is such a humbling experience and I still blush about the entire process.0 -
Modesty and Genderkrispatmad said:What is modesty
I think at least 50 people have seen my boob since I was diagnosed with bc. It is such a humbling experience and I still blush about the entire process.
I'm wondering if some of you would address these questions:
-- How much of your modesty or lack of modesty is connected to the gender
of your caregiver or technician?
-- For females: Do you have mostly female caregivers? Have you requested female caregivers? Were your requests honored? What percentage of your caregivers were male?
-- For males: Have you had mostly male or female caregivers? Has the gendered mattered to you? Have you wanted to request same gender care but not felt comfortable doing so? If you made the request, was it honored?
I'm not suggesting the quality of care matters based upon gender. I'm not suggesting one gender is better at this caregiving than another. I'm interested in this issue from the patient point of view. How do patients "feel" about the gender of their caregivers when very intimate care must happen?0 -
Modesty and Genderminutemoon said:Modesty and Gender
I'm wondering if some of you would address these questions:
-- How much of your modesty or lack of modesty is connected to the gender
of your caregiver or technician?
-- For females: Do you have mostly female caregivers? Have you requested female caregivers? Were your requests honored? What percentage of your caregivers were male?
-- For males: Have you had mostly male or female caregivers? Has the gendered mattered to you? Have you wanted to request same gender care but not felt comfortable doing so? If you made the request, was it honored?
I'm not suggesting the quality of care matters based upon gender. I'm not suggesting one gender is better at this caregiving than another. I'm interested in this issue from the patient point of view. How do patients "feel" about the gender of their caregivers when very intimate care must happen?
I was a nurse's aide at age 18 and had to work on geriatric males as well as females. Occasionally one of them might flirt. I always got after them immediately when they did. Having been the care giver I really have no problem with having a male care giver. To them it is not a sexual organ it is just a body part that they must clean or treat. I think I might have difficulty if I would have ever needed personal care durring my menstrual cycle (no longer an issue). I of course have had many female care givers with the doctors being mostly male. At work a boob is just a body part that means litte except that it is thier job to treat that body part, same for the guy's appendage. I guess it is truly a matter of the context in which you see your spouse/partner (at home in your comfor zone so to speak) as opposed to seeing a naked person in need of treatment within an office that says "this is business". Even for home care delivery, the worker sees your home as thier office for treatment purposes, despite the fact that it is also the patient's comfort zone. Hope I was not too forward in this discssion0 -
Modesty and Genderminutemoon said:Modesty and Gender
I'm wondering if some of you would address these questions:
-- How much of your modesty or lack of modesty is connected to the gender
of your caregiver or technician?
-- For females: Do you have mostly female caregivers? Have you requested female caregivers? Were your requests honored? What percentage of your caregivers were male?
-- For males: Have you had mostly male or female caregivers? Has the gendered mattered to you? Have you wanted to request same gender care but not felt comfortable doing so? If you made the request, was it honored?
I'm not suggesting the quality of care matters based upon gender. I'm not suggesting one gender is better at this caregiving than another. I'm interested in this issue from the patient point of view. How do patients "feel" about the gender of their caregivers when very intimate care must happen?
If I have any modesty left, it may be gender oriented. Overall, modesty and BC are somewhat conflicting terms. From the time of DX, you are asked to take off your clothes. Men that you have not been intimate with are feeling you up (in a manner of speaking. Somehow your breast of breasts have ceased to be objects that helped to identify you as female. Instead they are objects that are diseased and need varying degrees of medical attention, like knee or shoulder. I had three doctors, breast surgeon (male), plastic surgeon (female) and oncologist (male). It didn't matter to me if they were male or female. As a matter of fact, there are some females that have problems with other females touching them. What mattered was if they knew their stuff! When I left the hospital, I had visting nurses fo while. Most of my nurses were female. Near the end there were two male nurses. I was a little uncomfortable at first, but quickly got over it. Unfortunately, they were not as proficient or as "warm and fuzzy" as the females. Since they were fill-ins, they didn't know me or my condition. To be honest, I preferred the females when I was at home. For the first few weeks, with a couple of exceptions, I was blessed to have the same visiting female nurse. She knew me, my wounds, and how to care for me and my wounds. She was very supportive and a wonderful caregiver. I will always think kindly of her. As time passed, different nurses came. It is hard to build a relaionship with different people in and out. By the time the male nurses came, I almost didn't need home care. I could take care of myself without having to explain what I needed and how to do it.0 -
Jo Jo
Your post made me laugh. How well I can relate about the modesty part! I am so scared that I am going to have a heart attack in a public place and the EMT's are going to have to rip open my shirt to do CPR and everyone will see my uniboob look and be freaked out. I don't mind showing my stuff to the many medical professionals involved in my BC care, as they know what to expect, but I am sure I would really scare anyone who was not prepared to see that.
I also have a sleeve since I am flying to Florida in 2 weeks, and I also have had extensive PT to get movement back and prevent another round of frozen shoulder that I had two years ago. Good luck with all of your treatments.
Hugs, Linda0 -
JoJo
yes, no more modesty here either! Glad your PS is being proactive so you can get more movement in your arm. Hope the lymphodema sleeve helps. Enjoy your vacation.
My gyn is male, my surgeon is male, my oncologist is male, and my radiologist is male. I had both female and male radiologist techs. It doesn't matter to me. There's nothing left to look at but 2 long scars. Afterall, they are just doing their jobs helping us through this journey. I do have to say that all of my mammogram techs have been female. Don't need them anymore as I will now have just an xray.
{{hugs}} Char0 -
while in the hospital for my
while in the hospital for my bilateral mastectomy with snb, i was in so much pain i could not even wipe myself after i peed. i had a very nice male nursing assistant help me to the bathroom.i told him i needed him to stay as i was very unsteady and in a lot of pain.he was kind of taken aback, esp when i asked him to help me wipe. he wanted to make sure it was ok cuz he was male. i said i really dont care, i cant do it myself and if you have two hands to help, i am grateful!! he wiped me, not the best lol, but was grateful to have a pair of hands be they male or female!!!0
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