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Choosing Hospice

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
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Joined: Jun 2009

As some of you know I wave worked hospice for many years and even owned one. I'm hearing many telling people not to give up the fight. Dont give up hope. This is what I have told many people over the years to help them to understand what hospice is.

People who choose hospice are not giving up hope, they are in fact redefining it. Though there may no longer be a possibility of curing their illness, they redirect their hope into mending and restoring relationships, spending quality time with those they love, and finding peace and comfort.

Choosing hospice doesn't mean choosing death, it means choosing to live life to the fullest. Usually once someone has chosen hospice, they have been through a lot already. Multiple hospital admissions, chemotherapy and radiation, and invasive tests and treatments can leave patients feeling sick and tired. By choosing hospice, they have decided to focus on the quality of their lives rather than on the quantity.

I've seen many people who have chosen hospice use their time, once consumed by doctors appointments and hospital stays, to take family vacations, travel to places they've always wanted to see, and enjoy the company of loved ones at home. These aren't people who have given up hope or given up on life. These are people who are living life to the fullest.

Brooks

KFen725's picture
KFen725
Posts: 108
Joined: Jul 2009

Brooks,

I 100% agree with you. My mom was in hospice's wonderful care at the end of her life (dx Stage IV CC June '09 and died March '10) and contrary to us feeling depressed when we brought in hospice, it was a HUGE relief and tremendous stress off of everyone's shoulders knowing that suddenly we had 24/7 immediate access to a wonderful team of nurses & doctors who could take care of any comfort need.

Instead of taking mom to the ER, Dr's office or hospital for every new symptom that came up, we could get immediate assistance from hospice to make sure mom felt secure and comfortable. If anything, I wish we would have brought in hospice earlier, because she actually ended up only being under their watch for 12 days before dying.

Anyway, I agree - hospice is not "giving up". It is focusing on ENJOYING the rest of your time on earth instead of traipsing around in discomfort from Dr to Dr and hospital to hospital. There is something to be said for just being in your own home with your family and your own blankets and pillows. I cherish that we were able to have mom in her own home until she passed.

Thanks,
Kelly

taraHK
Posts: 1961
Joined: Aug 2003

I really appreciate this message - thank you. There is a lot of talk on our board about "don't give up the fight". And I am sympathetic to that (I may have even participated! I certainly like thinking of myself as a dragon warrior, etc.). But I think it is important for us to value and appreciate all of the decisions which our 'brothers and sisters' make -- and to recognize that "there is a time for everything". I really like your portrayal of hospice as having the possibility of being a positive thing -- not to be perceived as a 'failure' or a lack of any other option.

I've actually been wanting to raise this general topic for some time and I am glad you did so.

Tara

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Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Thanks Brooks and it is so timely. After a very bad weekend ( *things* ALWAYS happen on the weekends! ) my Mom will be asking to be placed on hospice care today.

My Dad has been on Hospice care for 2 years and it has been wonderful to have him at home rather than a nursing home.He is actually thriving. He looks better today than he did 2 yrs ago when they gave him only a few weeks to live.

Much thanks and blessings to all hospice workers.

-Pat

Aud's picture
Aud
Posts: 480
Joined: Oct 2009

thank you, Brooks, for posting this.
Audrey

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
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Thanks for posting this. My mom was under hospice care for a while before her death and know that they were so good for her and my dad. Glad you explained it.

Kim

John23's picture
John23
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Joined: Jan 2007

Let me understand this.....

When Western Medicine finally tells me that there's nothing more
-they- can do; nothing more -they- can offer me to save me from dying,
I should choose to die as quietly and nicely as possible, rather than
turn to some other way....any other way.... to fight the cancer?

I should forget trying -any- alternative, just toss in the towel and make
my family and friends happy - happy to be able to see me happy and
care-free until the day I die?

I simply cannot accept that concept.

The "Hospice Care" consists of anti-depressants and pain-killers.

I have had family and friends in Hospice. They seemed so content
that death was going to be so comforting. They refused to consider
any attempt to remain alive, and instead they actually welcomed death.

I was no longer talking to those I knew for years, I was talking to drugged
versions of those that were once human and alive, and who once had such
a strong will to live, that nothing would stop them.... all gone.

They were gone long before their death. And I'm not too sure they
would have been so complacent, had it not been for the amount
of drugs administered to "help them cope" with their "condition".

Listen.......

Make certain there is -absolutely- no hope left, before committing
to death's door; There are always option that haven't been tried,
and death should be the very, very last option, because there
are no more options after that.

We weren't born to quit.

Just as that blade of grass can grow between the cracks of a very
busy highway, we were given the power to live. We were given the
ability to use our common sense and intuition to discern right from
wrong, all to help us survive.

Instead, so many forego that inner ability, and put all their trust
into other's opinions, including the timing of their death. Why?

The will to survive should not be quelled by drugs or physicians,
it should not be dimmed......... ever.

John.

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Hey John, I actually agree with you a lot of the time but this time you hit a sore spot and it hurt. So I'm yelling "Ouch". You said <"The "Hospice Care" consists of anti-depressants and pain-killers."> and that is just not always the case.Hospice is designed for quality, at home care for those who are very ill.Take my 82 yr old Dad for instance. He has had 5 Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy Strokes, has been on Hospice 2 years, and is living at home clean, happy, and content as he ever could be anywhere else. He takes Synthroid, Nexium, & Colace daily. NO antidepressants OR pain killers.

Now, my Mom is getting ready to go on Hospice Care. She is 81 yrs old, has advanced, aggressive lung, throat, & bone cancer and it is possibly in her brain now. She weighs 100 lbs and is not a candidate for any healing treatment ( Western or otherwise ). Dam John, she is too frail to even get her into the car to take her out hunting any other alternative.Please PM me if you have a better solution.

And, your concept of how Hospice works is a little off, IMO. I worked with Hospice patients for 2 years and what you wrote just does NOT ring a bell with what I witnessed.

Ok...I said my "OUCH". I don't like being presented as someone who just wants to dope up my loved ones and make them go to la-la land until they die.I want my parents to live...yes I do...and I am making sure that each and every day that they do live is comfortable and happy days for them.

-Pat

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John23
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Pat - (and others)

I am truly sorry if I struck a raw nerve; it's not easy to convey
a thought without managing to step on a toe.... Mea Culpa..

But..... What both you and Phil are suggesting I implied, I did -not- say.

What I -did- say, was this:

"Make certain there is -absolutely- no hope left, before committing
to death's door; There are always options that haven't been tried,
and death should be the very, very last option, because there
are no more options after that."

There is a difference between hospice and home care, and
"palliative care".

Hospice is designed to make getting to the end of life as easy
and pleasant as possible. Not just for the patient, but for the
family and friends. They provide the needed anti-depressants
and pain killers to eliminate the suffering that accompanies
the dying process.

I've had too, too many family and friends die in hospice, so
it's a major BTDT for me. I set up telephone service in quite a
few hospice facilities for dying patients, so I'm not unfamiliar
with their operation, or practices.

It's a needed service for those that absolutely need it, but my
comment is aimed at those that might think they need it, but haven't
explored any other possible remedy.

I recently lost a friend in that manner. He insisted on using a local herbalist,
and when the herbs failed.... rather than try chemo or radiation, he signed
himself into hospice. He's gone; he went fast and he didn't care.

I had spoken with him, and gave him print-outs of items from this forum
that discussed the various new techniques available to get to the cancer
he had. But within two weeks of hospice care, he was joking, laughing,
and didn't want to have anything to do with trying anything else. It wasn't
"him" anymore, that I talked to..... it was some very relaxed individual
that was treating death as a planned vacation...

That is what the drugs do; That is what hospice is intended to do:
Make dying less horrific. That's reality, not an insult.

And I should address Phil's comment:

Re:
"It has nothing to do with the form of treatment one may or may
not have received prior to their choice of seeking hospice care."

I don't know where you got that, Phil... I'm not trying to sell or market
an alternative, I'm trying to get people to stay alive.

It has all to do with knowing when to let go of failing treatments, regardless
if that is TCM, chemo, juicing, etc... and when to try something different.

Hospice does not attempt to save one from death, it helps one get
to death's door in comfort. One should make -absolutely sure- they
truly want to die, prior to signing into hospice. The medications
used can lull one into a complacent state, losing all desire to continue
living, and desiring instead, the perception of peace and comfort
that death will bring.

I don't know about anyone else, but I am going to do whatever I have to
do; try any damned thing out there, and if it still all fails, they're going to have
to take me kicking and screaming all the way to the crematorium.

I hate cancer. I hate losing friends; ones that I can see, and all the ones
here in cyberspace. I hate the overwhelming fear of dying that consumes
one's ability to focus on their instincts and intuition that tells them to
try something different; to continue to fight to stay alive.

There's no way to "sugar-coat" hospice. It's not a Theme Park excursion,
it is the final road out of this world.

I want to see people living, and trying to live, in spite of cancer, and in
spite of any disease. Hospice isn't the "end of the chapter", it's "the end".

Damn it. I hate this. I hate cancer.

John

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
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You certainly have it John...
-phil
Dying is the hardest on those it leaves behind.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
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John,

I have read many of your posts here,and I get the impression that you sort of cherish the position of being a devil's advocate. How about lightening up a bit and giving support to our "family" here?

*hugs*
Gail

John23's picture
John23
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Not a "devil's advocate" - more of a Don Quixote.

A good friend once introduced me, saying:

"You know how some people will tell you the glass is half
empty, while others will tell you the glass is half full?

John will tell you the water's polluted."

(a few hugs back, Gail)

John

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tootsie1
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Thanks for the hugs, John. I really wasn't trying to make you mad. I was hoping to gently remind you that there are some pretty raw feelings going around here lately, and we just all need to close in tight for a group hug and tell the beast to go away.

*hugs*
Gail

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PhillieG
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People should be allowed to chose what they want to do, especially in times of ill health. I agree with you, choosing hospice is not choosing death, it's more about how one wants to live THEIR life. It's no one else's business. It has nothing to do with the form of treatment one may or may not have received prior to their choice of seeking hospice care.
Thanks for posting this Brooks

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tootsie1
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Brooks,

I appreciate your comments. Very thoughtful and very well said. Thank you! I think a lot of people here needed to read that right now.

*hugs*
Gail

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Nana b
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The only hospice I have been in contact with is my sister in law's Moms condidtion. In hospice, most of the time she was out of it, and the daughters took turns laying next to her, she died several weeks later. It was in a hospice home. Very nice home.

My grand mother had hospice called by her daughter a couple years ago....and they came to her home, she proceeded to tell them to get the hell out of her home and she is now 100 years old and 1 month and 16 days old. I think all those smoothies are keeping her alive because other then a little arthritis, there is nothing wrong with her. Her memory is better then mine.

If I got to the point that I was a burden to my family, I would take hospice, but my family would never put there. I already know it and have mixed reactions. I don't want to be a burden to anyone!

Hmmmmmmm.....The choice is yours, but don't give up! :-)

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Left Coaster
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It seems individuals here take it personally when a person tells the truth from their point of view. Life and death, Cancer, treating disease and the choices we make are emotional situations. It bothers me that when individuals go out of their way to explain their point of view they are attacked for it. Rather then attacking that person, why not look for clarification as to what they mean by a particular statement? This is a discussion forum which includes asking questions and done with respect for all, a greater understanding can be achieved.

I, myself have witnessed firsthand a cancer patient who, according to the Dr's responsible for her care, there was no point to tradition treatment. She died at home with her family by her side (under hospice care)and I will not put my family through that situation. She stopped breathing due to the heavy drugs she was given to minimize her pain.

It's ironic that when I went to the ER for my brain tumor after a seizure, the ER doctor said there is no chance and that I should live a happy life. Well I am back after brain surgery, gamma knife and another round of systemic chemo. Now I will get the bone mets treated and go from there.

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tootsie1
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I have no idea if you were referring to me or not. I don't believe I attacked John. Just gave him a gentle reminder.

I'm glad you are defying the doctor's prediction that nothing could be done.

*hugs*
Gail

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Patteee
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thank you for this post Brooks.

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
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You welcome... Sorry to ruffel so many people. LOL

John23's picture
John23
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You hafta' keep the blood pressure up, that's what keeps us alive!

It's a good thread. It gives us something to think about, besides
some bump that wasn't there before... If thought isn't encouraged,
we'll just rot away.

And besides, there's nothing on TV..

Good health to you!
(and everyone else, too)

John

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herdizziness
Posts: 3642
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I had to call hospice for my 80 year old cousin 2 months ago. I'm extremely grateful to them. No, he doesn't have cancer, he has other problems which aren't curable, the doc's have nothing more they can do for him.
He isn't drugged to a point that he doesn't know anything, as a matter of fact, to me, he doesn't have enough drugs, he still is in some pain. I hate the pain he suffers, he doesn't understand it. Hospice has at least seen to it, that he gets pain killers, which don't affect his mind. Thankfully (he's in a nursing home)hospice is seeing to his comfort, I travel every week to see him, (he lives in another town) and anything of concern, I call hospice and it is taken care of immediately (I HATE NURSING HOMES). After I asked, they brought in an air bed, then when I said he was complaining about his feet, they came and brought him an air pillow (the bed was too harsh for his poor tender feet). I travel every week to see him, I'm thankful for the hospice people for being there when I can't. A gentleman even comes once a week just to VISIT with him from hospice. I tried to get the nursing home to give him his favorite food (ICECREAM) daily and they sure weren't doing it. I called hospice, and it's been added to his daily diet.
So, in my view, thank you to the powers that be for hospice.

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nursesheri
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I know I'm the newbie here, but if I may put in my 2 cents? For what it's worth, I worked for Hospice as a CNA while going through nursing school, and found it very rewarding. I still remember the warm and meaningful conversations I had with both patients and families, and I will carry them with me forever. The most memorable of which was with a middle aged,beautiful lady with terminal colon cancer(how ironic). We discussed life after death and many other deep subjects. Before I left, she gave me the biggest hug and thanked me for talking with her so openly and honestly, you see, no one would ever discuss death and dying with her. They all shhhh'd her when she would bring it up. Much like what I'm experiencing. I know I'm going to fight my hardest, but the truth is, we are all going to die. Some of us are just reminded of it more than others, and it's nice to be able to talk open and honestly with someone who will listen, and not be shhhh'd. My point is, Hospice is more than "easing someone out", it's about compassion, caring, and listening with an open heart, and mind when no one else will.

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AnnaLeigh
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Sometimes choosing hospice is about having the strength to LET GO. We all know how much strength it takes to hold on to the hope that you will win this battle but it takes enormous strength to make a decision to stop the fight. This is always, and should be, a very personal and individual decision made only by the person who must go through the day-by-day struggle of trying to stay alive.

I wouldn't dream of asking a loved one to "never give up" and would never insist they seek additional treatments long after they have been subjected to more than their bodies can take just so I can have a few more precious months with them.

Hospice is about choices. Choosing how you will spend the remainder of your days. Something I hope I have a chance to decide.

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Annabelle41415
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My mom fought the hard battle and after it spread to her liver and other places (breast cancer) she told my dad "enough is enough." She couldn't do any more chemo and just wanted to "go home." Didn't live close to my mom at the time she was going through this but remember my daughter and I were on the way home as she had slipped into a coma the day before (and she was able to be at home because of hospice). My mom died 15 minutes before we got there. My daughter said to the hospice nurse "mean I came all this way for not even being even able to see Grandma one last time" and the beautiful hospice nurse sat on the front porch step and talked to my daughter and said, "she knew you and you're mom were coming. She wanted you to remember her how she was and not see her dying". Wow, brings tears to my eyes now. Those hospice nurses are very amazing to say the least. Thank God for them because my family had help with my mom in her last days and made them the most comfortable for her.

Kim

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tootsie1
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That's beautiful, Kim.

*hugs*
Gail

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PhillieG
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Very touching story, thank you for posting it...

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John23's picture
John23
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Re:
"Would you have rather they died gasping for air rather than peaceful?"

There is so much furor over a perception of what I said, and I
just don't know how to say it with a more definitive statement.

I said:

"Make certain there is -absolutely- no hope left, before committing
to death's door; There are always options that haven't been tried,
and death should be the very, very last option, because there
are no more options after that."

And -that- was addressed to anyone that has not yet explored other
remedies, or did their best to seek other opinions.

It was -not- directed to those that have gone to the end, and know
what "the end" is.

There are people Grace, that seem to think Hospice is akin to a
rest home or some sort of assisted care facility. It is most definitely
not akin to those. It is not "palliative" care, it is geared to making
the end of life as comfortable as possible for the patient and family.

For that purpose, they serve a very, very good cause.......

But patients and families have to understand, that once the hospice
begins to administer medications to help the patient cope with
oncoming death, the patient will lose the inherent quest for life.

It has to be that way, since it is that very inherent desire to live,
that is the cause of intense emotional pain if it is not stifled.

Make sure that death is immanent; hospice is a one-way road.

I'm sorry if it is being taken wrong, but it's that simple, and I really
don't know how to get it across any better than that.

John

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
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John, you say "Make certain there is -absolutely- no hope left, before committing to death's door; There are always options that haven't been tried, and death should be the very, very last option, because there are no more options after that."

Do you believe that some people may know when it's time to let go? They may have had enough and do not wish to explore every option that may be out there. I do not think that you would want someone to keep on trying this and that if they do not wish to just to so they can try to satisfy someone else's idea of how they should die. That seems like it is just trying to satisfy the living and puts the person whose life it is as just a spectator in their own existence.

I believe some people are more in touch/at peace than others are and know when they have done all they can or want to do and it's time for them to enjoy what time they have left. No one is talking about making someone choose hospice against their will. Some people are ready to go while others are not ready to go. Some people who love and care about the person wish to respect their wishes even if they do not agree with them. Other times I think their own fear of dying gets in the way and they may not be able to understand or accept that someone is choosing to be at peace.

If someone really loves the person, they would respect their wishes no matter how much it may hurt. Like I've said before, I think death is the hardest on those who are left behind.

Death is immanent; being alive is a one-way road.
-phil

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John23
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Phil...

Re:
"Do you believe that some people may know when it's time to let go?"

Yes Phil, I do.

My mother had several books that explained in great detail, how to
end life without pain or discomfort. It told what medications to use,
how to use the system to accumulate the needed amounts.. and to
have enough in excess, just in case supplies are confiscated.

She had "home hospice", since it was the easiest way to get as
much medication as she asked for, without question.

When she felt it was time, she died peacefully at home with my
father looking after her. It was the way she wanted it, and I don't
blame her one bit. I have those books in storage. I don't know
why I had felt compelled to save them, but I am now very glad
that I did. Sooner or later, they will come in handy.

After she died, a neighbor told me how hospice dumped boxes and
boxes of excess pills that she had stored up.

She was fully cognizant of everything she was doing, and she knew
when it was "time".

Re:

"I believe some people are more in touch/at peace than others are
and know when they have done all they can or want to do "

Absolutely, as I explained above, but.........

Medications can also allow one to feel that they are in touch/at peace,
and help welcome the "inevitable".

Don't you think it is important to insure individuals know that medications
will be administered that will do that?

That the family should know that a desire to continue searching for a cure,
can be stifled through medication.

How about another analogy?

My friend had been talking to me about finding new western medicine
treatments, and I printed out numerous posts from -this- forum for him,
that discussed some very exciting new procedures. I included some
posts that told of the same conditions and prognosis, and how the
posters are still doing well.

But by the time I got the information to him, he no longer had any
interest, and was instead looking forward to "moving on", and
seeing and "being with" friends and family that were long gone.

His daughter told me he wasn't the same; he was sounding like he
was looking forward to dying more than looking forward to living.

She wasn't aware that anti-depressants can change a person so much,
and yet.... she couldn't adjust to the idea that he would give up, when
just a short time before, he was so full of hope.

Medications can do that, dammit.

So...... if I have to scream it from a rooftop.......

PLEASE.... Make sure that you want to die, before checking into a hospice.

Death should already be the chosen route, PRIOR to checking into a hospice.

I'm done. This is too damned depressing, especially after the past few weeks
of cyber friends dying.

There are plenty of viable options to TCM, to Chemo, to whatever it is,
that one is taking. There are options. Look for them, and try them, you
only live once.

Bless you all.

John

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Annabelle41415
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Phil once again you hit it on target (sorry John love what you have to say but this topic I'm not sure you can get your point across but always love your opinion). By the way, love that picture. You look like you are dreaming about some beautiful woman on a beach someplace :) Wow what a smile.

Kim

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greybeard64
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Okay, you know me here are my two cents worth. I think, which is probably how most moronic statements on my part start but...I think John is not ripping on Hospice as much as he is trying desperately to keep people fighting. It sounds as if he has seen quite a few friends pass and it hurts. He is just trying to make sure no one gives up before all avenues of a "cure" or at least the a prolonging of life, with quality ahve been exhausted.
Enter all those who have witnessed in their eyes the seemingly endless struggle of a loved one, the pain, the loss of quality in their life. they're friend our loved ones are tired and it is a horrible thing to watch. Seems to me both sides are saying the same thing just from different perspectives so to speak. Fight the good fight, and exhaust all options (john) and from the others, there personal accounts seem to be that this is in fact what they're loved ones have done. For their own personal reasons and and they are similar and yet different in every case just as this disease is, they have reached a place where hospice is right for them. It boils down to each individual having the right to chose, and know one knows better then the person who is making that choice. Each of us have our own agenda when it comes to how we handle this and how we would like the people we care about to handle it, sometimes for our sake, and sometimes for theirs but the only person who is qualified to know when enough is enough is the person who is facing that decision for themselves. everyone who has been DX with this, makes decisions based on a wide variety of variables, and no one can fully understand the hows and whys of that process, except the person who is making them. If we arent making the decision it seems to me that the thing to do is respect their wishes, support them as best we can. And if and when we are faced with this difficult choice, I think it is our hope that those we love will do the same for us. right and wrong is not for us to decide it is for those who have the ultimate decision.
There is no doubt that each of us on here want everyone else to know we support them no matter there decision, after all none of us, although we share similar paths take this journey wearing the same moccasins as our friends.
bless you all
chris

AnneCan
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Thanks for posting this.

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John23
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Re:
"He is just trying to make sure no one gives up before all avenues of a
"cure" or at least the a prolonging of life, with quality have been exhausted."

That was exactly my point. I sat here wondering if anyone "got it";
you have given me new hope.... (oh-ooh...?)

Seriously, thanks man !!

John

Jaylo969
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John, I "got it" after I think was your 5th post. The harshness had been eliminated and the true sensitive, caring, loving person that you are showed through.

Peace & love your way.

-Pat

Jaylo969
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You voiced it very eloquently. Thanks.I appreciate your efforts to look through the static and see where everyone was coming from.Good job!

-Pat

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Linda Z
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Thanks Chris

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CherylHutch
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Joined: Apr 2007

Graci, I'm sure that was hard to write... but it makes me angry just reading that you and your spouse had to go through this. I'm glad he did eventually get comfort, but it took way too long... and where were those "professionals" when you were fighting to care for him on your own?? Once again, the whole insurance thing is more a hindrance than a help and at a time when you are fighting to make a loved one comfortable, the last thing you should be worrying about is insurance and paperwork :/

Thanks for telling us another perspective of this journey that I'm sure a lot of us have not thought about or prepared for.

C.

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462lt
Posts: 118
Joined: Jun 2010

Thanks you anna for your insight I feel the same way. Laura

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CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Hi Kathy,

As a fellow Canuck, I think each province handles it differently. I know, here in BC, we do have palliative care wards in hospitals, as well, we have hospice "homes" where someone can go for hospice care when it's close to the end and they don't want to die in a hospital. Of course, you can also elect to stay at home with family/friends and have palliative care staff come to the home. I'm not sure how it works in other provinces though, or if it is the same across Canada.

C.

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CherylHutch
Posts: 1399
Joined: Apr 2007

Wow... we are almost neighbours, although it is a bit of a drive if we were to meet for coffee . Which BC Cancer Agency do you go to? I know there's one in Abbotsford (a new one), and one in Surrey. I go to the one in Vancouver which is a 10 min. drive from the West End where I live.

For sure we can find out the information from any of the BC Cancer Agencies. I have to admit, I haven't even asked or inquired because I am not about to plan for that yet (denial? reality?). I do have a support team of friends who will be with me whenever I need them, but I suppose I really should at least make a plan and let them know, should the time come. But right now, I am so far from being anywhere close to bedridden... so I'm living my life as if I had a cold or a stomach bug... at the moment, it's a sore foot . It is kind of weird even thinking Hospice or end of life plans when, although I am on Chemo, you would never ever know it! My gang down at the theatre are amazed... I put in more hours than the average volunteer. Heck, I put in more hours than some of the paid employees. And it doesn't matter that working in the theatre is something I love and is a passion... if I didn't have the energy, then there's no way I would be able to do it, even if it is a passion of mine ;)

The reason I know about in home palliative care, a friend of mine who did end up dying from cervical cancer, there was a group of us 7 close friends who spent the last 7 weeks of her life with her 24/7. We had in home palliative nurses come in, and then when it really got bad so that there was no way we were going to be able to manage her pain, even with the drugs, we had her moved to the palliative care ward of Lions Gate Hospital in North Vancouver. The hospital is an old one and kind of dingy... but the palliative care ward was beautiful, new, modern and the staff there were all angels, minus the wings. I have not checked out the palliative care wards at the other local hospitals (St. Paul's, VGH, etc) but I was very impressed with the one at Lion's Gate.

If I find out anything more, I'll for sure, let you know!

Cheryl

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I live in the Toronto area. There are hospices here. Some are like big houses for people to live in, others offer care in the home.

serrana
Posts: 163
Joined: Apr 2009

I read all your posts folks and want to say just this:
Lots of ideas, opinions, information. All interesting and informative.
However, to me, the discussions and opinions seem to be exactly what they are, reflections, opinions, reports, not of some "truth" or "way" but evidence and statements that everyone is unique in their approach to living which includes dying. There is no "truth" to be found, no one is right nor wrong here. News.....
Everyone will die even those without cancer.

We are fortunate in my opinion to be somewhat more aware of our end of life than many who don't have medical issues and in that respect are fortunate to be able to consider its meaning and process in advance and in depth , rather than being surprised when we are dead and never experienced the process involved in leaving this world and our body.

Depak Chopra makes alot of sense to me when he discusses the body as the vehicle in which the soul is transported; it is the presence, journey and existence of the soul and it's existence that I believe is the issue here, not what kind of bed the body (vehicle) ends up in and how many milligrams of morphine are available.
The journey, gang, it is the journey of the soul.Lets know that every one is on this train if they are fully human.
Serrana

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