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Peter is in hospice

peterhw's picture
peterhw
Posts: 69
Joined: May 2008

Three week ago I was in Hopkins to do a routine testing and CT scan for the upcoming clinical trial. They found my liver function close to failure, my billirubins is 10 times higher and I was running fever. I was hospitalized for three days. They cannot find any infections; the bile duct is not clogged. Their conclusion is my liver function is so low; it will do more harm than good to continue the treatment. So we agree to call in the hospice service.

You all have been part of my family. I will always remember your encouraging words and helpful advices. Don’t worry about me. I know where I am going and it is a much better place.

I wish you all the best.

Peter Hsi-Min Wu

msccolon's picture
msccolon
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2004

I'm so sorry you are facing this, but you are doing it with grace! I pray for peace for you as you enter into this new stage of life! Thank you so much for posting so that we can keep you in our prayers.
mary

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2118
Joined: Oct 2009

I am so sorry for the position you are now in. I so admire the courage and sharing you have presented to the rest of us through your journey with this disease. You are and always be a part of our family. At this juncture, I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead.

Our best to you - George and Tina

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

thank you Peter for being part of our journey and allowing us to be a part of yours. Know that a piece of you lives on in all of us as we press forward in the struggle. I wish for you peaceful,loving days ahead.

dorookie
Posts: 1736
Joined: Jul 2007

I am so very sad to hear this, but yes I believe too that you will be in a better place. May you sleep with angels, my friend...

My prayers will continue for you and your family...

God Bless
Beth

sharpy102's picture
sharpy102
Posts: 370
Joined: Apr 2009

@Peter: Be strong!!! I really hope you will not suffer!! And I will tell my Mom to look for you and welcome you! She's a real good cook, and very very VERY giving! Full of love! I wish you the best...we will ALL miss you and you have changed the lives of many others, so you'll not "go away"! You'll be in forever memory of those people! And you'll be in an awesome place...a much better place than this world. We, humans, just cannot imagine better as we only experienced this one so far...but like you said, it will be a much better place! Take care Hsi-Min!!! I'll think of you often!
Sophie

just4Brooks's picture
just4Brooks
Posts: 988
Joined: Jun 2009

I'm sure I'll see ya again someday. Thanks for all you have done for me as well as the other on this board.

Brooks

Annabelle41415's picture
Annabelle41415
Posts: 6482
Joined: Feb 2009

So sorry to hear of this position you are in. You seem to be heading into this with a great attitude. You are so brave. Hope your journey will be smooth for you. You are going to a much better place. Peace be with you.

Kim

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

Hello Peter,

I am sorry to hear about your liver function. I enjoy your posts; they are very inspiring to me. You have such a positive attitude, and your posts have always been filled with hope + inspiration. Thank-you for posting and letting us know what is happening; I am thinking about you.

Sundanceh's picture
Sundanceh
Posts: 4408
Joined: Jun 2009

Wow, Peter

As everyone has already said, you have such a strong resolve and good attitude about what you are facing - you sure are teaching me how to handle things with your courage and wisdom.

I wish things were different, you have been so strong and a good advocate for clinical trials and such - always very positive about what you were trying to do and very enlightening to all of us on what you were trying to teach us.

I hope the next stop for you is a much better place - you are one who deserves it:)

-Craig

karguy's picture
karguy
Posts: 1024
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm sorry to hear about your liver,and yes you are going to a better place.I'm sure we will meet again there.I will pray for you.

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Peter, Sorry to hear this news. I have wondered how you were doing. Best to you,Peter. You have been a good friend on this board. Love Paula

chicoturner's picture
chicoturner
Posts: 285
Joined: Apr 2009

Peter, thank you for sharing your life. You have been a wonderful inspiration to me and an encouragement to try trials. May God continue to bless you. You are in my prayers. Jean

pf78248's picture
pf78248
Posts: 209
Joined: Jul 2008

Dear Peter,

Your dignity and grace are such an positive example to us. David and I wish you peace as you enter this next phase of your life. I also believe a better place awaits. May you continue to have love and support surrounding you.

Priscilla

MoSoLe09's picture
MoSoLe09
Posts: 14
Joined: Sep 2009

for sharing your life, and for inspiring and encouraging us. We are all just dwellers on the threshold, God may just be opening the door and inviting you in sooner. You are entering with such a wonderful and graceful attitude that I hope to have when my time comes. We will see you on the other side Peter. Godspeed and God bless.

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Peter,

You are the most gracious and peaceful person. I have loved reading your posts and have prayed that you would have great success with a clinical trial. I'm so sorry to read that things are not going that way.

I am so glad you shared your news with us, and I hope that you can feel the love coming from all of us. You are a brave soul, and I pray the journey will be easy for you. Yes, you are going to a better place, and you will be WELL there.

*hugs*
Gail

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

I do not know what to say at a time like this, only that I have walked this journey not too long ago with my sister. It just breaks my heart to read your post. You have been so kind in pointing me to clinical trials and sharing your experience. Reading your postings about your latest trial gave me much hope for you, that reading this latest post just makes me cry.
I do know that my sister's liver also failed her. She also had blockages in her kidneys and bile ducts. The cancer took over and she was in much pain in the end but man she fought hard.
I pray for you on this journey and know that you have been a very kind and supportive man. Thank you for that. If you need to talk, please I am here.
Marie

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

Always kind and congenial, its not goodbye but only for a little while, we will be there someday altogether where we can all celebrate the eternal life we move to. Peace in your journey and may you be blessed with open arms upon arrival..Take care my friend..we will see you soon......Clift

Aud's picture
Aud
Posts: 480
Joined: Oct 2009

Holding you in the Light for Peace.
~Aud

lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Peter,

You never know what might turn around. I'm glad you have faith- God bless you, Peter.

Fondly,
Lisa

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nudgie's picture
nudgie
Posts: 1483
Joined: Sep 2006

me to hear such news but enlightens me with your attitude. My God grace your days

Erinb
Posts: 295
Joined: Apr 2010

Peter you have been an inspiration to me. I hope you have peace and comfort as you enter your new journey.
Erin

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

I am sorry .

michelle

linandtom
Posts: 67
Joined: Dec 2009

I'm sure Hopkins would do everything possible to find what is causing the liver problems? My husband went through some liver problems in April and we really didn't know if he would make it or not. Bilirubin was at 12 - which was very high. He did have bile duct blockage so a stent was placed to open the duct. He had 5 radiation treatments to shrink tumor pressing on bile duct. I know you have said this is not what's causing your liver problems. But also, I have a friend at work who's wife had a liver transplant years ago and she started running a fever last week - they concluded it was from her liver based on liver blood work being elevated. Nothing showed on CT scans - no abscess - no tumor - no blockage - no infection on scans. But due to fever and liver function test - they started giving her IV antibiotics. They said even though the infection did not show on the scans it was obvious this is where the infection was. Maybe see if Dr will try strong IV antibiotics. First she was in hospital for these but now they have her IV antibiotics hooked up and giving them at home. It takes a good 2 or 3 weeks on these strong antibiotics to clear liver infections. Worth a try Peter if all other blood work is good and if you feel strong enough and can tolerate the antibiotics. My husband was very weak - but he managed to hang in there and made it through. He decided no more clinical trails as we tried 3 different ones - he's now back on Folfiri and Avastin and doctors are surprised it is helping him once again. Don't know for how long - but maybe long enough for something else to get through a Phase III trail and be FDA approved. We are keeping our eye on one such trial in hopes it will be approved in the next year. Let me know if you have any questions or if I can do anything for you Peter. Praying for you! and your family.

lesvanb's picture
lesvanb
Posts: 911
Joined: May 2008

for being a part of our lives. Your gentleness and forthrightness and peacefulness always is refreshing and comforting. I am glad that we all provide comfort for each other. And the healing continues though sometimes our body cannot keep up.

all the best, Leslie

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Peter, I'm so sorry the trials did not work and that you are now in hospice but I agree that you're going to a better place and know you'll be reunited with your family again some day.

You've fought the good fight and have remained positive in the storm. Well done!

Diane

Jaylo969
Posts: 827
Joined: Jan 2010

Peter, I'm not very good at expressing my deepest thoughts but please accept the warmest hug I have ever sent through cyber space.

Wishing peace to you as you travel this portion of your journey.

-Pat

amyb15's picture
amyb15
Posts: 109
Joined: Jun 2009

Peter:
I just wantedd to say you have been an inspiation to everyone on these boards. You have handled your cancer journey with such grace. You have been a great source of infomation and support.
And yes, where you are going is a much better place. We will all get to meet there one day.
Also, you never know what will happen. Things can always turn around. Miracles are real and maybe you will get one. If you don't, then will will be moving from this life to your fianl dwelling place (that is what I believe, anyway) My thoughts and prayers are with you at his time. You seem to have a real sense of peace and calm about you. I am not going to say good bye, just see you later.

Amy

Kathleen808's picture
Kathleen808
Posts: 2361
Joined: Jan 2009

Peter,
You have such a beautiful spirit. Thank you for sharing so much with us. My prayers are with you on this part of your journey. I am praying for peace.

Aloha,
Kathleen

Sonia32's picture
Sonia32
Posts: 1078
Joined: Mar 2009

sending you many hugs and prayers your way, you as well as everyone else on this board are family and an inspiration to me.

kristasplace's picture
kristasplace
Posts: 956
Joined: Oct 2007

My thoughts and prayers are with you, Peter. Calling on hospice was a good idea, but if you still have fight left in you, coffee enemas can help the liver flush out toxins. At the very least, they may ease the strain on your liver and give you comfort. Hospice might help you with them. I can imagine that you're tired of fighting, and like others have said, only we know when it's time for us to stop fighting, and begin to look forward to what the next plane of existance has to offer. Regardless of having these beliefs, i am very sad, and can't keep the tears back.

I will be thinking about you, lighting candles for you, and sending my most positive vibes your way.

Many hugs,
Krista

newperson's picture
newperson
Posts: 76
Joined: Mar 2010

Peter, I'm so sorry you have to call in hospice. But this doesn't mean the time is closing. There are some people who did get in hospice but get out of it later on and start to fight the disease again. I pray that miracle for you too. Best wishes. - Lucy

Fight for my love
Posts: 1530
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi Peter,you have been in my prayers everyday.I was hoping that all the clinical trials you did and you were going to do would bring you new hopes.I have tears in my eyes when I read your post.You are a great example for both me and my husband.I admire your courage and your persistence.We all will be there one day.I know if you are one step ahead of us,just because you want to be a pioneer for us,so when we arrive there,you can take care of us.God bless you and your family.Take care.Thank you.

david54
Posts: 167
Joined: Apr 2009

You are in my thoughts and prayers, more than that, I don't know you personally but I do in so many ways. Walk tall my friend.

Devasted
Posts: 186
Joined: Jun 2009

Just wanted to let you know we are thinking of you...
Take care

AnnaLeigh's picture
AnnaLeigh
Posts: 185
Joined: Jan 2010

We all feel as if we have known you in person. As a friend, a warrior, and as a true inspiration in how to have the strength to let go.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for peaceful days ahead.

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Only one other poster has said what I'm about to say, and
even that person didn't say it quite like this:

DON'T GO.

No, I don't know your full story, all I know is that you said that
"Hopkins" said you're all done; that they have nothing else to help you.

So what? Get another opinion, and another, and another...
There are other physicians and other things to try. And don't call
it quits just because western medicine might be calling it quits.

Chemotherapy damages everything, and it's tough to take. I don't
blame you for feeling like you've had enough of the torture. But
there are alternatives that are worth trying, and some have had
wonderful results; one may give you life that no other will.

The alternatives to western medicine do not cause you to suffer,
or cause your body to break down. You can try the alternatives
while taking pain medications if needed.

Hospice will not give you life, it will only make dying more
"comfortable" by the administering of drugs that keep one's mind
too muddled to know the importance of trying to stay alive.

I read this thread every day, two, three times a day... and I just
could not sit quiet a minute longer.

Before you give up living, try the alternatives. If you can give up
life, you certainly can give up the belief that western medicine is the
-only- thing that can keep you alive.......

You've already proven that it can not.

Give yourself another chance at it. Try other options.

Please.

Hoping for your better health.........

John

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Please don't quit until you body gives you no other choice. Like John's says, why give up. Give alternative medicine a try...you have more to gain.

If you choose otherwise, remember that we will never forget you, and please if you can come back and visit ua! Hugs!!!!!!

coloCan
Posts: 1956
Joined: Oct 2009

who knows? Maybe another cancer center might suggest another alternative. Wishing the best for you.....you had helped me in my time of need....How I wish I could now do the same for you.....Steve

linandtom
Posts: 67
Joined: Dec 2009

Thank you John 23 and a few others for encouraging Peter with alternative things to try and most of all for not just sending him the I'm sorry well wishes!!! If the problem is infection and fever from the liver then treat with antibiotics or alternative medicines such as the liver detox. You have had such a positive attitude in all that you have done - you have given standard treatment and clinical trials a go. I'm here to tell you - my Tom was at the lowest of lows and I truly did not know if he was going to make it or not from November until now. But guess what - we took care of the infection with antibiotics and prayer - lots of on our knees in prayer! and I'm here to say he is feeling better - finally eating some - and back on standard treatment which by God's grace is working for now. We pray daily Folfiri plus Avastin will work until one of the other clinical trails shows promise. Vitamins, exercise when he doesn't feel like putting one foot in front of the other - even if for only 5 minutes - has worked for him. Peter - hang tough if your body has anything left - I know the clinical trials really were hard - go back to what worked before the clinical trials even if only for a short time to buy time for the next best thing - be that another clinical trial - or alternative treatments - just don't turn to hospice if this is not where you want to be. If you can still put one foot in front of the other each day - then give yourself another chance - find someone - something - other options - I know you can do it!

peterhw's picture
peterhw
Posts: 69
Joined: May 2008

I really appreciate your encouragement. I did contact a TCM Dr.. He was here two days ago to read my pulse and so on. He seems to think my situation is not that bad, so he is going to work with my hospice first to reduce the pain and tight belly problem. We will see what happen down the road. I am also looking into other alternative options. But I won't give up that easily.

Thank you all.

Peter

linandtom
Posts: 67
Joined: Dec 2009

Good to hear Peter.....I knew you would not give up easily!! Think of this as a little break while this Dr works with you on coming up with something. In the meantime - keep all your options open and do your research. Hope you've had a good day and can enjoy the weekend. Blessings to you today and always.

Patteee's picture
Patteee
Posts: 950
Joined: Jul 2009

peter!! gosh I am glad to see your picture and read your words! carry on my friend, carry on

AnneCan
Posts: 3692
Joined: Oct 2009

I was so happy to see this post. I am really glad you found someone who is helping you. Good luck with this, + I am glad to hear you are looking into other options too.

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

(and thank YOU, Peter!)

Traditional Chinese Medicine

TCM is not some sort of miracle cure for what ails you, it is only
a science that is based on the concept that the body is capable
of curing itself when the body is working the way it should.

The science uses herbs and/or acupuncture, along with diet,
to help the body attain the health it needs to fix itself.

It has been used for thousands of years exclusively, and also
in combination with more modern medical sciences.

It is used alone against cancer, and as an adjuvant to western
medicine cancer medications. It's also used to lessen the side
effects of chemotherapy and radiation.

Do not expect it to "cure cancer", any more than one can
expect western medicine to "cure cancer"; a cure for cancer
is not yet a reality, and can not be promised by any medical
science to date.

What TCM can do, is offer an alternative to damaging drugs
and chemicals. It can offer a more healthy way to fight an illness,
since the herbs and acupuncture are not toxic to one's body,
as modern medicines are.

There are some herbs that are noted to actually be able to kill
cancer cells without doing damage to normal cells. Those herbs
should not be used without the consultation of a qualified doctor
of TCM or a qualified herbalist, since they can have toxic results
if used improperly.

I am providing some URLs to some web sites that carry information
regarding TCM. There are many more than the ones listed, and there
may be better ones, as well. But these should provide some basic
information that one can use to base their research upon.

Basics of Traditional Chinese Medicine

Oriental Perspectives On Cancer And Its Treatment

Dosage And Form Of Herbs

Finding a Qualified TCM Doctor

Acupuncturist Search Engine

Traditional Chinese Medicine Health Philosophy

Herbs in Latin Scientific Name

This is a partial list, and data should be weighed to one's common sense.

Traditional Chinese Medicine does not usually offer the "quick results"
that western medications can provide. Western medicine uses medications
to only quell the symptoms of a problem, so the results are fast.

TCM attempts to fix the problem causing the symptoms, so the symptoms
will continue until the real problem is cured.

Chemotherapy is only one option. If chemotherapy works for you, stay
with it. If it fails you, don't be afraid to try an alternative.

Wishing better health to all!

John

------------
The herbs I have used are listed at the link provided, but I strongly caution anyone
considering self-medication:

Do not use herbs without consultation with a qualified doctor of TCM or a qualified Herbalist.

The herbs used in TCM are not garden variety, they are medicinal strength and
as powerful as laboratory produced chemicals. Use caution; use professional guidance.

Link: http://csn.cancer.org/node/183225
-----------

Stay well.

John

sfmarie's picture
sfmarie
Posts: 605
Joined: Aug 2009

Incredible news from the TCM doctor! That is wonderful. I am so happy for you and do keep us posted.
Hugs and Prayers,
Marie

tabur's picture
tabur
Posts: 71
Joined: Jul 2009

We are so very grateful for the trials info you shared with us. Pam is recovering from the TACE procedure she had two days ago and I cannot bring myself to share this post with her. If you are close to JH, then Georgetown should also be relatively close. Let me know if you need a contact. If western medicine has nothing for you, then I'd encourage you to listen to John, he is a very diplomatic ambassador for alternative medicines. I hope you find a way. Bless you.

Al

Kathryn_in_MN's picture
Kathryn_in_MN
Posts: 1258
Joined: Sep 2009

Peter,

I am so sorry to hear your liver function is so bad that you can't do the trial. I hope hospice keeps you comfortable, and that you do consider nontraditional medicine during this time. Even if it doesn't bring a cure, it may help you be more comfortable.

You've been an incredible inspiration to so many people here. You've found clinical trials to try and have shared those options so that others might benefit. You've shown so much grace and dignity at all times - even when it had to be rough for you.

I don't know how you are feeling right now, so I can't say "keep fighting" if you've hit that point where you've had enough in this world. I know there are a lot of people who care, and would really like to see you continue the fight. I am one of them. But I've also watched my grandfather and uncle hit the point where they'd had enough, and it was ultimately their decision in the end. If you do feel like continuing the fight, I hope you consider trying alternative medicine. Whatever you decide, I'm glad that you seem to be at peace with what may come.

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

I'm with John23 and the others...... go anywhere and everywhere and try the alternatives.... What you got to lose????? Don't just take the word of the people now treating you... THEY quit on you....move on...It ain't over til it's over. We all love you here... You are family... Please....Please try something else.... we will all meet soon enough in the next life.... I want to meet you in THIS life. Keep us posted Peter!

Jennie

bdee
Posts: 305
Joined: Feb 2009

Sorry to hear your news. I am glad you are at peace with the news, I don't think I'll take it that well when it comes my time.

Debbie in Arkansas

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