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I'm really scared and would like some advice/guidance...

FreshRyeBread's picture
Posts: 1
Joined: Apr 2010

I've lost my twin sister, my dad, my mum, my grandpa and my aunt to cancer and my doctor told me I now have it.

I'm really scared because I really wanted to get married, have kids and grow old but I was told I'm lucky if I make it to the end of the year...

I used to get compliments about my long brown hair but now I get laughed at by other teenagers because I apparently look like your "stereotypical lesbian".

I haven't started treatment yet and would like someone to walk me through it and explain what is going to happen to me in simple terms. I'd also like to know how you coped through your experience.

...Calming music usually helps me cope but then I look in the mirror and I fall into depression again. I just got proposed to by my boyfriend of 8 years and I don't know how to tell him I have aggressive cancer.

Please help me...

Posts: 31
Joined: Feb 2010

teenagers are evil. I'm not sure how to get them to let up. If I'd known that, my own teenage years would have gone a lot better. You could try the shaved head look, wear headcovers, and that sort of thing to make it as obvious as possible that you're a cancer patient. I did learn that most people aren't evil enough to make fun of obvious cancer patients.

and besides...nuttin wrong with lesbians, either. I happen to consider a couple of lesbians to be good friends of mine. Some of those evil jerks I knew in high school thought I was gay beginning in 8th grade. I have many gay friends now who happen to be some of my best friends...and I even let them hit on me from time to time (and my wife thinks it's hilarious).

I'm incredibly lucky to be here now. Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with a very aggressive leukemia, also. I had a so far one-of-a-kind complication...severe brain stem swelling. Doctors were terrified my spinal cord would rupture out of my spine. They put me in a drug-induced coma for 18 days. That's an extremely atypical situation, but after one chemo treatment, I went into remission and have stayed there for a whole year now.

Treatments can be harsh. I learned that TONS of fluids are essential to manage side-effects. In fact, for me to get enough fluids to dodge most of the side-effects, they had to hook me to an IV drip for 3-4 days while I got chemo.

The chemo made me very immunocompromised, so I couldn't really get out for a long time. It was about 9mo for me. Lots of reading, internet, and movies kept me occupied.

Otherwise, I think the most important part is to stay positive. You've been proposed to...that's certainly something to be happy about. Don't worry about what may or may not happen. Live for today and be happy for what you have.

My doctor gave me a 50/50 chance at being able to reproduce after chemo. I'm not quite done with treatment yet, so it's too early to get tested to find out if I'm able or not. It's not a huge deal. There's always adoption. I will be happy with whatever circumstance I end up with.

Just be open and straight with your boyfriend.

Posts: 18
Joined: Mar 2010

I'm sorry 2 hear about your diagnosis, what type of leukemia do you have or had? I'm sorry that u have lost all your family members to this evil disease, r u getting tx already? Have u got a 2nd opinion, you r young y the drs telling 1 yr can you get a bonemarrow transplant? Let me know how can I help you

Posts: 4
Joined: Apr 2010

My husband was diagnosed in 2005 with aml he went through the consolidation chemo then lived it up like he was dying for 10.5 months. The aml came back and he had an allo. stem cell transpant. He still lives in isolation because his immune systems is suppressed due to gvhd. He has been waiting for a cure for his chronic gvhd he just started a new clinical trial and hopes to return to do some of his beloved outdoor activities this fall. Yes it has been a long battle and it has been worth it. He has had so much to live for and now he may have so much more of it back again. I will tell you that those 10.5 months of living it up was worth it because having been through what he did it became a layer of frosting in our lives. It also made the transplant journey more bearable. He was diagnosed at 46 and has seen 2 grand children come into our lives and many other blessings. Every day has fear but also gives us opportunity to put more frosting on out lives. Many relationships don't survive these experiences but a true love will hold on with you and understand that medication can make a person not themselves and this too shell pass. I wouldm't give up on my guy because he enriches my life so much and I am a better person because because of his influence in my life

Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2010

i'm just courious as how your husband is doing now. you said he was dx in 2005, did the consolidatoin chemo then living it up for 10.5 months. I think that is really great of him to do that. i am scared to have any transplants due to the horror stories i have heard about that. someone told me that you can even die during a BMT; and if you make it what a person goes thru afterwards and for how long?? Is your husband still in remission? I was dx with AML M-5 in Aug. of 09; and it took quite a few consolidation chemo's to put me in remission. i was just wondering how long a person can stay in remission without a BMT.
hope things are going better for him now and your lives can continue.
please comment back to me if you wish; would love to know more about time......

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