I'm really scared and would like some advice/guidance...

teenagers are evil. I'm not
teenagers are evil. I'm not sure how to get them to let up. If I'd known that, my own teenage years would have gone a lot better. You could try the shaved head look, wear headcovers, and that sort of thing to make it as obvious as possible that you're a cancer patient. I did learn that most people aren't evil enough to make fun of obvious cancer patients.

and besides...nuttin wrong with lesbians, either. I happen to consider a couple of lesbians to be good friends of mine. Some of those evil jerks I knew in high school thought I was gay beginning in 8th grade. I have many gay friends now who happen to be some of my best friends...and I even let them hit on me from time to time (and my wife thinks it's hilarious).

I'm incredibly lucky to be here now. Just over a year ago I was diagnosed with a very aggressive leukemia, also. I had a so far one-of-a-kind complication...severe brain stem swelling. Doctors were terrified my spinal cord would rupture out of my spine. They put me in a drug-induced coma for 18 days. That's an extremely atypical situation, but after one chemo treatment, I went into remission and have stayed there for a whole year now.

Treatments can be harsh. I learned that TONS of fluids are essential to manage side-effects. In fact, for me to get enough fluids to dodge most of the side-effects, they had to hook me to an IV drip for 3-4 days while I got chemo.

The chemo made me very immunocompromised, so I couldn't really get out for a long time. It was about 9mo for me. Lots of reading, internet, and movies kept me occupied.

Otherwise, I think the most important part is to stay positive. You've been proposed to...that's certainly something to be happy about. Don't worry about what may or may not happen. Live for today and be happy for what you have.

My doctor gave me a 50/50 chance at being able to reproduce after chemo. I'm not quite done with treatment yet, so it's too early to get tested to find out if I'm able or not. It's not a huge deal. There's always adoption. I will be happy with whatever circumstance I end up with.

Just be open and straight with your boyfriend.

Personal Journey
My husband was diagnosed in 2005 with aml he went through the consolidation chemo then lived it up like he was dying for 10.5 months. The aml came back and he had an allo. stem cell transpant. He still lives in isolation because his immune systems is suppressed due to gvhd. He has been waiting for a cure for his chronic gvhd he just started a new clinical trial and hopes to return to do some of his beloved outdoor activities this fall. Yes it has been a long battle and it has been worth it. He has had so much to live for and now he may have so much more of it back again. I will tell you that those 10.5 months of living it up was worth it because having been through what he did it became a layer of frosting in our lives. It also made the transplant journey more bearable. He was diagnosed at 46 and has seen 2 grand children come into our lives and many other blessings. Every day has fear but also gives us opportunity to put more frosting on out lives. Many relationships don't survive these experiences but a true love will hold on with you and understand that medication can make a person not themselves and this too shell pass. I wouldm't give up on my guy because he enriches my life so much and I am a better person because because of his influence in my life