physically back to work mentally ive changed since the onset of cancer

eldon53
eldon53 Member Posts: 9
edited March 2014 in Prostate Cancer #1
hi guys i need some feedback on this one i had my prostate removed via the da vinci route on nov 13 of 09 and have just returned to a very physically and pressure filled job that offers no relief from ongoing stress that is inherently part of the job i work at a mental hospital and have to deal with patients in everywhich way including fighting feeding counseling and so forth but since my return ive noticed im really not into the stressful aspects nor do i want to continue to be part of it though due to the nature of the job i dont have a choice until i can transfer which may take awhile so if any of you have had this after a return to work or if you could give me some advice on how best to deal with it id really appreciate it thanks for your time in advance take care eldon
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Comments

  • jmchugh
    jmchugh Member Posts: 15
    after surgery
    for me excercize has always done the trick, specifically i started doing spin.... an hour a day after work... you have a motivational instructor , music, and young people.... i've done for two years now ....for you maybe something else that you enjoyed.... i hope this doesn't sound too simplistic, but sweating has always been therapeutic for me.....i wish you well jm
  • shane59
    shane59 Member Posts: 86
    jmchugh said:

    after surgery
    for me excercize has always done the trick, specifically i started doing spin.... an hour a day after work... you have a motivational instructor , music, and young people.... i've done for two years now ....for you maybe something else that you enjoyed.... i hope this doesn't sound too simplistic, but sweating has always been therapeutic for me.....i wish you well jm

    Best of luck to you
    I think your right you just have to hang in there help those that you can , when you go home leave your work at work ,and do somthing for yourself when you get home walking bowling vidio games whatever it takes to relieve the stress. Remember youve had a big op and the bodys still recdovering thats stressfull enough take time at work to relax if you can at your breaks cat naps and meditation whatever it takes talk to co workers or close friends and unload it helps . Be patiant that transfer may happen sooner then you think,
    all the best take care prayer can help dont get me wrong best wishes for your future Shane
  • randy_in_indy
    randy_in_indy Member Posts: 496 Member
    shane59 said:

    Best of luck to you
    I think your right you just have to hang in there help those that you can , when you go home leave your work at work ,and do somthing for yourself when you get home walking bowling vidio games whatever it takes to relieve the stress. Remember youve had a big op and the bodys still recdovering thats stressfull enough take time at work to relax if you can at your breaks cat naps and meditation whatever it takes talk to co workers or close friends and unload it helps . Be patiant that transfer may happen sooner then you think,
    all the best take care prayer can help dont get me wrong best wishes for your future Shane

    I agree with Exercise
    Of course, I'm a biut biased as I have used that my entire life as a distance runner. Physical activity frees the mind while at the same time puts the body into a calm state following the exercise. I recently bought an indoor Far-infrared sauna and find this very relaxing spending 20-30 minutes in 130-140 degrees then a shower and wham...feel totally calm.

    Hope you find what you need to cope and thrive until the transfer happens!

    Randy in indy
  • fathersson
    fathersson Member Posts: 121
    Attitude
    Eldon,

    Attitude is the trick. You are lucky. Your cancer is likely gone and you will live so you may enjoy your life, family and friends. (Some here are not as fortunate and may not have much time at all.) As one who has a 24/7 job with 60 direct reports and laden with politically unpopular policies to enact, I keep my head above water by understanding that I am doing the very best I can in a stressful environment and .. that I am alive and lucky to be here. In my case, I was fortunate that a small bladder tumor ( just removed) was a low grade cancer that was/is not life threatening. My PC cancer is very low grade as well so I have time to move on that. I expect very positive outcomes..

    I know the stress and BS at work can be overwhelming for all of us at times.. Again the key is not to empower it so it ruins the precious 2nd chance you are given.. You have been given the gift of life and health.. Open it and be happy. If work gets that bad, move on.


    Best wishes.
  • 15thClub
    15thClub Member Posts: 5
    Back to Work...Change of Outlook
    We're on the same page. I had post op complications which had me out of work two months versus the "normal" one month. While I still like my job and I still have of a sense of urgency to get my job done, the "stuff" of unintended consequences just does not bother me anymore. Ya do your best and make no mistakes but sometimes it still fails. But something more insidious happened...DEPRESSION. I went to work but really did not feel like doing anything else, including getting things done around the house, going to the golf course/driving range (I'm a passionate golfer). I knew everything around me was OK, life was good so why was I feeling so [email protected] miserable? After about two weeks, I got back to my Urologist and he concurred to the high likelihood of depression. How the depression happened I don't know because people know me and I know me to be a very happy guy. I got help. When depression occurs GET HELP and get help as soon as you realize something is amiss.

    Look gents, take it from one who "loves the smell of napalm in the morning." It's nice to think we are the unbreakable granite to whom our loved ones look to when the small and large hurricanes of life blow by. But what happens when the granite starts to crack and fissure? I am far from suggesting any of us should diminish our roles...but the facts are whether we like it or not...men do break and in all too many cases, when men break it's a big break that cannot be ignored.
  • Trew
    Trew Member Posts: 931 Member
    15thClub said:

    Back to Work...Change of Outlook
    We're on the same page. I had post op complications which had me out of work two months versus the "normal" one month. While I still like my job and I still have of a sense of urgency to get my job done, the "stuff" of unintended consequences just does not bother me anymore. Ya do your best and make no mistakes but sometimes it still fails. But something more insidious happened...DEPRESSION. I went to work but really did not feel like doing anything else, including getting things done around the house, going to the golf course/driving range (I'm a passionate golfer). I knew everything around me was OK, life was good so why was I feeling so [email protected] miserable? After about two weeks, I got back to my Urologist and he concurred to the high likelihood of depression. How the depression happened I don't know because people know me and I know me to be a very happy guy. I got help. When depression occurs GET HELP and get help as soon as you realize something is amiss.

    Look gents, take it from one who "loves the smell of napalm in the morning." It's nice to think we are the unbreakable granite to whom our loved ones look to when the small and large hurricanes of life blow by. But what happens when the granite starts to crack and fissure? I am far from suggesting any of us should diminish our roles...but the facts are whether we like it or not...men do break and in all too many cases, when men break it's a big break that cannot be ignored.

    I wonder how eldon is doing?
    I wonder how eldon is doing?

    As for me, not speaking for everyone, I am both the same and much different after cancer.

    Cancer may not change everyone, but it does change some.
  • gkoper
    gkoper Member Posts: 173
    Trew said:

    I wonder how eldon is doing?
    I wonder how eldon is doing?

    As for me, not speaking for everyone, I am both the same and much different after cancer.

    Cancer may not change everyone, but it does change some.

    PCa & how it changes one
    While I have never been 1 to sit on my duff waiting for my ship to come in.......when I finally accepted the fact that I had CANCER... I determined to fight it. And..I got serious about my "bucket list" I am ticking it off! Anyone remember the Tim McGraw song;
    Live like you were dying? Some day I'm gonna ride that bull named Fu-Man-Choo!!
  • luckyman2
    luckyman2 Member Posts: 54
    gkoper said:

    PCa & how it changes one
    While I have never been 1 to sit on my duff waiting for my ship to come in.......when I finally accepted the fact that I had CANCER... I determined to fight it. And..I got serious about my "bucket list" I am ticking it off! Anyone remember the Tim McGraw song;
    Live like you were dying? Some day I'm gonna ride that bull named Fu-Man-Choo!!

    Talk, exercise... a bucket list... and help
    Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt like this after PC. I talked to my urologist/oncologist about how I was feeling and the fact that we tend to concentrate on fixing the ED and incontinence... and (of course) beating the cancer. However, being "men" who would think that we would ever get depressed because we got cancer... and having the depression surface only after a successful treatment?

    I kept the depression to myself for more than a year before acknowledging that there was a problem. After all, how could this be? ED and incontinence were no longer an issue and they got the cancer out. Welllll, the body is an amazing survivor! We cope with trauma by stepping outside and being a spectator of the events during the most severe moments such as getting the "news" that we have cancer and then going through the surgery or other treatments we have chosen... and then the healing process. Then a strange thing happens: "post tramatic stress disorder". That's when your mind finally realizes that you were not a spectator, but that it did indeed happen to you!

    Here's how I've been coping with the depression:
    1. Talk about it with someone who has been there... and remember your partner was there with you all along and can probably offer some insights you may never have considered.
    2. Exercise... choose any form of activity that makes you happy and fulfilled.
    3. Bucket list... there's no better time than today to start doing all the things you kept leaving until someday soon.
    4. Help someone... no matter what it is, such as volunteering in the community.

    It may not be the right solution for everyone, but each day gets better for me. Oh, I'm going to play the new Djembe drum that I just got for my birthday! You'll have to yell if you want to talk to me.
  • bdhilton
    bdhilton Member Posts: 803 Member
    luckyman2 said:

    Talk, exercise... a bucket list... and help
    Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt like this after PC. I talked to my urologist/oncologist about how I was feeling and the fact that we tend to concentrate on fixing the ED and incontinence... and (of course) beating the cancer. However, being "men" who would think that we would ever get depressed because we got cancer... and having the depression surface only after a successful treatment?

    I kept the depression to myself for more than a year before acknowledging that there was a problem. After all, how could this be? ED and incontinence were no longer an issue and they got the cancer out. Welllll, the body is an amazing survivor! We cope with trauma by stepping outside and being a spectator of the events during the most severe moments such as getting the "news" that we have cancer and then going through the surgery or other treatments we have chosen... and then the healing process. Then a strange thing happens: "post tramatic stress disorder". That's when your mind finally realizes that you were not a spectator, but that it did indeed happen to you!

    Here's how I've been coping with the depression:
    1. Talk about it with someone who has been there... and remember your partner was there with you all along and can probably offer some insights you may never have considered.
    2. Exercise... choose any form of activity that makes you happy and fulfilled.
    3. Bucket list... there's no better time than today to start doing all the things you kept leaving until someday soon.
    4. Help someone... no matter what it is, such as volunteering in the community.

    It may not be the right solution for everyone, but each day gets better for me. Oh, I'm going to play the new Djembe drum that I just got for my birthday! You'll have to yell if you want to talk to me.

    Luckyman2
    I agree and could not have said it better…plus I even printed what you say above-thanks and best to all
  • bdhilton
    bdhilton Member Posts: 803 Member
    luckyman2 said:

    Talk, exercise... a bucket list... and help
    Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt like this after PC. I talked to my urologist/oncologist about how I was feeling and the fact that we tend to concentrate on fixing the ED and incontinence... and (of course) beating the cancer. However, being "men" who would think that we would ever get depressed because we got cancer... and having the depression surface only after a successful treatment?

    I kept the depression to myself for more than a year before acknowledging that there was a problem. After all, how could this be? ED and incontinence were no longer an issue and they got the cancer out. Welllll, the body is an amazing survivor! We cope with trauma by stepping outside and being a spectator of the events during the most severe moments such as getting the "news" that we have cancer and then going through the surgery or other treatments we have chosen... and then the healing process. Then a strange thing happens: "post tramatic stress disorder". That's when your mind finally realizes that you were not a spectator, but that it did indeed happen to you!

    Here's how I've been coping with the depression:
    1. Talk about it with someone who has been there... and remember your partner was there with you all along and can probably offer some insights you may never have considered.
    2. Exercise... choose any form of activity that makes you happy and fulfilled.
    3. Bucket list... there's no better time than today to start doing all the things you kept leaving until someday soon.
    4. Help someone... no matter what it is, such as volunteering in the community.

    It may not be the right solution for everyone, but each day gets better for me. Oh, I'm going to play the new Djembe drum that I just got for my birthday! You'll have to yell if you want to talk to me.

    In your honor I have opened
    In your honor I have opened my window, plugged in my favorite Fender, plugged it into my largest amp and will play ‘Hey Joe” to my neighbors after I post this…I do this once in awhile to let everybody know I am alive…Oh and if you want to talk to me you will need to tap me on the shoulder…

    My latest crazy thought I am planning to attend Furthur Festival (Bob Weir/Phil Lesh (can you believe that Phil turned 70) May 28-30…I am making the best of this “awakening” post surgery…Life is good


    Phil Lesh is one of our brothers with Prostate Cancer.... http://www.furthur.net/flash/phil-bday-2010-03-12-speedway-stream-server.swf
  • fathersson
    fathersson Member Posts: 121
    bdhilton said:

    In your honor I have opened
    In your honor I have opened my window, plugged in my favorite Fender, plugged it into my largest amp and will play ‘Hey Joe” to my neighbors after I post this…I do this once in awhile to let everybody know I am alive…Oh and if you want to talk to me you will need to tap me on the shoulder…

    My latest crazy thought I am planning to attend Furthur Festival (Bob Weir/Phil Lesh (can you believe that Phil turned 70) May 28-30…I am making the best of this “awakening” post surgery…Life is good


    Phil Lesh is one of our brothers with Prostate Cancer.... http://www.furthur.net/flash/phil-bday-2010-03-12-speedway-stream-server.swf

    BD need a bass player?
    Hy BD hearing you loud and clear. As a bass, guitar, banjo and keys player of many, many years and who played with some players from the national acts of our day with my trusty Precision bass.. I have come to realize that music is the medicine.. I always have something to play when I get stressed out with this PC crap.. Still havin fun at it and play out a couple times of month doing acoustic renditions of some old blues, southern and classic rock as well as our own music that is getting some airplay here and there across the states.. Not enought to make me the next Eric Clapton.. but enough to substantiate that the music is pretty good.. (: Here is our link.. click on the links for our music, pics etc.

    http://www.sonicbids.com/epk/epk_body.asp?epk_id=184631&poll_id=&name=&skin_id=&submission_id=&lv=1


    And love Phil.. but missing Berry Oakley my hero (:
  • luckyman2
    luckyman2 Member Posts: 54

    BD need a bass player?
    Hy BD hearing you loud and clear. As a bass, guitar, banjo and keys player of many, many years and who played with some players from the national acts of our day with my trusty Precision bass.. I have come to realize that music is the medicine.. I always have something to play when I get stressed out with this PC crap.. Still havin fun at it and play out a couple times of month doing acoustic renditions of some old blues, southern and classic rock as well as our own music that is getting some airplay here and there across the states.. Not enought to make me the next Eric Clapton.. but enough to substantiate that the music is pretty good.. (: Here is our link.. click on the links for our music, pics etc.

    http://www.sonicbids.com/epk/epk_body.asp?epk_id=184631&poll_id=&name=&skin_id=&submission_id=&lv=1


    And love Phil.. but missing Berry Oakley my hero (:

    Need a 12-string guitar player?
    I've been playing 12-string acoustic guitar, 5-string banjo, mandolin, harmonica and the autoharp (same 1952 Oscar Schmidt model as played by June Carter-Cash) for many years... and some of them professionally. I've recently been playing the bodhran (Celtic drum) and now just picked up the Djembe drum. Only problem... I can't play them all at the same time. Maybe it's time to start jammin' with other PC survivors! We can call the group, "Hard times again"!
  • fathersson
    fathersson Member Posts: 121
    luckyman2 said:

    Need a 12-string guitar player?
    I've been playing 12-string acoustic guitar, 5-string banjo, mandolin, harmonica and the autoharp (same 1952 Oscar Schmidt model as played by June Carter-Cash) for many years... and some of them professionally. I've recently been playing the bodhran (Celtic drum) and now just picked up the Djembe drum. Only problem... I can't play them all at the same time. Maybe it's time to start jammin' with other PC survivors! We can call the group, "Hard times again"!

    You are on
    Lucky man..

    That is awesome.. Then you certainly agree with me that: Music is the medicine !!..The best part of the music thing is my Dad was a fantastic guitarist and writer. He played a 1956 strat and did anything from Chet Atkins to the Eagles to Merle Haggard to Andy Williams... and taught me all of it along the way. Told me to switch from the guitar to bass in the mid/late 60s .. I did and it served me well.. Sadly, I lost him at 74 to prostate cancer 10 years ago..( gleason 9 and spread when caught)..So playing music kind of carries his spirit along for me if you know what I mean..

    As far as you me and Hilton jamming and writing a hit prostate cancer song.. I bet we could do a great job with it.. Maybe one of these days(:

    Hang in there my friend and stay in touch..Check out my band site and let me know what you think and would love to hear any recordings of your own stuff.

    Frank
  • gumbyrun
    gumbyrun Member Posts: 58

    You are on
    Lucky man..

    That is awesome.. Then you certainly agree with me that: Music is the medicine !!..The best part of the music thing is my Dad was a fantastic guitarist and writer. He played a 1956 strat and did anything from Chet Atkins to the Eagles to Merle Haggard to Andy Williams... and taught me all of it along the way. Told me to switch from the guitar to bass in the mid/late 60s .. I did and it served me well.. Sadly, I lost him at 74 to prostate cancer 10 years ago..( gleason 9 and spread when caught)..So playing music kind of carries his spirit along for me if you know what I mean..

    As far as you me and Hilton jamming and writing a hit prostate cancer song.. I bet we could do a great job with it.. Maybe one of these days(:

    Hang in there my friend and stay in touch..Check out my band site and let me know what you think and would love to hear any recordings of your own stuff.

    Frank

    I'll bring my 12 string "lawsuit" guitar
    I'll try and keep up with my Takemine "Lawsuit" guitar that I bought on ebay for $72 and invested another $65 in strings, bit of maintenance, gig bag, and stand. Sounds sweet even with my fat fingers.
  • bdhilton
    bdhilton Member Posts: 803 Member
    luckyman2 said:

    Need a 12-string guitar player?
    I've been playing 12-string acoustic guitar, 5-string banjo, mandolin, harmonica and the autoharp (same 1952 Oscar Schmidt model as played by June Carter-Cash) for many years... and some of them professionally. I've recently been playing the bodhran (Celtic drum) and now just picked up the Djembe drum. Only problem... I can't play them all at the same time. Maybe it's time to start jammin' with other PC survivors! We can call the group, "Hard times again"!

    Yes we can really sing the
    Yes we can really sing the blues now...love it
  • bdhilton
    bdhilton Member Posts: 803 Member

    BD need a bass player?
    Hy BD hearing you loud and clear. As a bass, guitar, banjo and keys player of many, many years and who played with some players from the national acts of our day with my trusty Precision bass.. I have come to realize that music is the medicine.. I always have something to play when I get stressed out with this PC crap.. Still havin fun at it and play out a couple times of month doing acoustic renditions of some old blues, southern and classic rock as well as our own music that is getting some airplay here and there across the states.. Not enought to make me the next Eric Clapton.. but enough to substantiate that the music is pretty good.. (: Here is our link.. click on the links for our music, pics etc.

    http://www.sonicbids.com/epk/epk_body.asp?epk_id=184631&poll_id=&name=&skin_id=&submission_id=&lv=1


    And love Phil.. but missing Berry Oakley my hero (:

    Frank and my fellow rockers
    Frank,

    I checked out your site…The Atlanta Café Band…cool I love the blues the root to all…
    I have only played with my boys and their friends and their garage bands the last 10 years or so (ages 27, 25, 19, 17)…I love to blow their minds (I am sure you know what I mean)…I have been a percussionist for about 45 years off and on but it drives my wife crazy when I set of the house alarm when I play my kit…I have been playing the guitar for a little more than 25 years…Very therapeutic.., I play Blues, punk, heavy metal and my stuff…My baby boy (17) has been taking lesson from Tommy Carlise (almost famous) for some time from the ERIC QUINCY TATE Band from Atlanta years http://www.ericquincytate.com/

    Rock on….
  • luckyman2
    luckyman2 Member Posts: 54

    You are on
    Lucky man..

    That is awesome.. Then you certainly agree with me that: Music is the medicine !!..The best part of the music thing is my Dad was a fantastic guitarist and writer. He played a 1956 strat and did anything from Chet Atkins to the Eagles to Merle Haggard to Andy Williams... and taught me all of it along the way. Told me to switch from the guitar to bass in the mid/late 60s .. I did and it served me well.. Sadly, I lost him at 74 to prostate cancer 10 years ago..( gleason 9 and spread when caught)..So playing music kind of carries his spirit along for me if you know what I mean..

    As far as you me and Hilton jamming and writing a hit prostate cancer song.. I bet we could do a great job with it.. Maybe one of these days(:

    Hang in there my friend and stay in touch..Check out my band site and let me know what you think and would love to hear any recordings of your own stuff.

    Frank

    My dad had the right attitude
    Guys:

    My dad got me started playing musical instruments. He played the harmonica since his days in WWII. He would bring out that harmonica when he was feeling a bit down and we would all sing along... (even the dog)... and when he was finished we all felt a lot better. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to cancer, but I inherited that harmonica and think of him every day with a smile. My dad had the right attitude and passed it along to all of us.

    Len
  • Trew
    Trew Member Posts: 931 Member
    luckyman2 said:

    My dad had the right attitude
    Guys:

    My dad got me started playing musical instruments. He played the harmonica since his days in WWII. He would bring out that harmonica when he was feeling a bit down and we would all sing along... (even the dog)... and when he was finished we all felt a lot better. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to cancer, but I inherited that harmonica and think of him every day with a smile. My dad had the right attitude and passed it along to all of us.

    Len

    Len, Good memory to share
    Len, Good memory to share with others. I don't sing- actually pretty close to can't sing- don't have an ear for music other than listening, but a good song will do wonders.

    Like Bonnie Tyler singing I Need a Hero! Stirs up the blood when nothing else is working to do it.

    A Toast: to us heros all! (whether we feel like it or not.)
  • fathersson
    fathersson Member Posts: 121
    gumbyrun said:

    I'll bring my 12 string "lawsuit" guitar
    I'll try and keep up with my Takemine "Lawsuit" guitar that I bought on ebay for $72 and invested another $65 in strings, bit of maintenance, gig bag, and stand. Sounds sweet even with my fat fingers.

    Invitation
    Hey Gumby your invited too the big PC jam as well. One of these days(:

    Hang in there.

    Frank
  • fathersson
    fathersson Member Posts: 121
    luckyman2 said:

    My dad had the right attitude
    Guys:

    My dad got me started playing musical instruments. He played the harmonica since his days in WWII. He would bring out that harmonica when he was feeling a bit down and we would all sing along... (even the dog)... and when he was finished we all felt a lot better. Unfortunately, I lost my dad to cancer, but I inherited that harmonica and think of him every day with a smile. My dad had the right attitude and passed it along to all of us.

    Len

    Dads
    Hey Len,

    Sounds like our Dads had similar stories and background.. Mine too a WW2 vet who got hooked on the music when in the service. Like I mentioned a big hearted man with an immense talent as musician and a man who exuded warmth and love like no other person I have ever met.. Like you, I think about him and miss him everyday. He lost his battle to PC..his son will not.. I owe him that..

    Hang in there brother and hats off to our Dads... those great men of the WW2 generation.

    Frank