physically back to work mentally ive changed since the onset of cancer

fathersson

bdhilton said:

Frank and my fellow rockers
Frank,

I checked out your site…The Atlanta Café Band…cool I love the blues the root to all…
I have only played with my boys and their friends and their garage bands the last 10 years or so (ages 27, 25, 19, 17)…I love to blow their minds (I am sure you know what I mean)…I have been a percussionist for about 45 years off and on but it drives my wife crazy when I set of the house alarm when I play my kit…I have been playing the guitar for a little more than 25 years…Very therapeutic.., I play Blues, punk, heavy metal and my stuff…My baby boy (17) has been taking lesson from Tommy Carlise (almost famous) for some time from the ERIC QUINCY TATE Band from Atlanta years http://www.ericquincytate.com/

Rock on….

Thanks BD
Great playing with the sons. I have one who is 21 and he and I play sometimes. He is a fantastic James Taylorish, Dickey Betts, Leo Kotke type player. He and I do some great stuff when tuning to drop D...and he loves the Allmans, Skynyrd, Taylor, Dead and so many of the bands we grew up with.. Kinda nice..

Best,

Frank

fathersson

Trew said:

Len, Good memory to share
Len, Good memory to share with others. I don't sing- actually pretty close to can't sing- don't have an ear for music other than listening, but a good song will do wonders.

Like Bonnie Tyler singing I Need a Hero! Stirs up the blood when nothing else is working to do it.

A Toast: to us heros all! (whether we feel like it or not.)

True story
Hey Trew..

Cant sing any worse than me.. True story.. Back in the day when I used to play clubs and bars... the only time the band asked me to sing was when the bar was almost empty at 3AM less a half dozen of the hardcore drunks and their lady friends.. A coulple of em yelling "one more".. Never failed.. I would begin to sing and even the drunkest drunk would somehow struggle to the exit and vacate the place.. We would then be able to pack up and go home..

Hang in there Trew.

Frank

eldon53

fathersson said:

Thanks BD
Great playing with the sons. I have one who is 21 and he and I play sometimes. He is a fantastic James Taylorish, Dickey Betts, Leo Kotke type player. He and I do some great stuff when tuning to drop D...and he loves the Allmans, Skynyrd, Taylor, Dead and so many of the bands we grew up with.. Kinda nice..

Best,

Frank

back at it
hi guys havent been on in awhile but thanks for asking trew im doing ok still the same job working out when i can looking for something different thats not so much of the constant stress trying to figure out where im headed but thanks to you guys on here ive had a constant and continuing reference point to check out so thanks everyone ill be back soon eldon

RRMCJIM

eldon53 said:

back at it
hi guys havent been on in awhile but thanks for asking trew im doing ok still the same job working out when i can looking for something different thats not so much of the constant stress trying to figure out where im headed but thanks to you guys on here ive had a constant and continuing reference point to check out so thanks everyone ill be back soon eldon

knows the feeling
Eldon, I know what your talking about. I had my surgery almost 1 year ago....May... I work a physical job, Technician w/Harley Davidson. Some days I think I am losing my mind, and others I am fine. Have had some problems w/scar tissue growing....been talking w/counselor and they are saying PTSD.. go figure... I have always loved my job. Never been one to sit back, very physical, work out, I am a diver, love to wind surf, etc...always been a work-a-holic , like I said, LOVE my job. Now all I want to do is retire, spend my days with my wife, and travel with her for what time we have left. I guess I found out I am not immortal after all...lol...Lost the love of work I guess....Some days I am content to stay home and just chill with the little woman. I might add that she was diag terminal in 1996...and so far she has beat the odds...still here and holding her own...So maybe those feelings are normal after cancer...
Jim

fathersson

RRMCJIM said:

knows the feeling
Eldon, I know what your talking about. I had my surgery almost 1 year ago....May... I work a physical job, Technician w/Harley Davidson. Some days I think I am losing my mind, and others I am fine. Have had some problems w/scar tissue growing....been talking w/counselor and they are saying PTSD.. go figure... I have always loved my job. Never been one to sit back, very physical, work out, I am a diver, love to wind surf, etc...always been a work-a-holic , like I said, LOVE my job. Now all I want to do is retire, spend my days with my wife, and travel with her for what time we have left. I guess I found out I am not immortal after all...lol...Lost the love of work I guess....Some days I am content to stay home and just chill with the little woman. I might add that she was diag terminal in 1996...and so far she has beat the odds...still here and holding her own...So maybe those feelings are normal after cancer...
Jim

ditto the feeling
Me too Jim.. My job is mega stress and I really need to relax with my wife and family after the surgery.. lost a little something with this disease but gained something else I guess by realizing that I need to redirect my time back to them

randy_in_indy

luckyman2 said:

Talk, exercise... a bucket list... and help
Wow! I thought I was the only one who felt like this after PC. I talked to my urologist/oncologist about how I was feeling and the fact that we tend to concentrate on fixing the ED and incontinence... and (of course) beating the cancer. However, being "men" who would think that we would ever get depressed because we got cancer... and having the depression surface only after a successful treatment?

I kept the depression to myself for more than a year before acknowledging that there was a problem. After all, how could this be? ED and incontinence were no longer an issue and they got the cancer out. Welllll, the body is an amazing survivor! We cope with trauma by stepping outside and being a spectator of the events during the most severe moments such as getting the "news" that we have cancer and then going through the surgery or other treatments we have chosen... and then the healing process. Then a strange thing happens: "post tramatic stress disorder". That's when your mind finally realizes that you were not a spectator, but that it did indeed happen to you!

Here's how I've been coping with the depression:
1. Talk about it with someone who has been there... and remember your partner was there with you all along and can probably offer some insights you may never have considered.
2. Exercise... choose any form of activity that makes you happy and fulfilled.
3. Bucket list... there's no better time than today to start doing all the things you kept leaving until someday soon.
4. Help someone... no matter what it is, such as volunteering in the community.

It may not be the right solution for everyone, but each day gets better for me. Oh, I'm going to play the new Djembe drum that I just got for my birthday! You'll have to yell if you want to talk to me.

luckyman2
Just the other day on a medical program on TV they said (who knows if it's really true or not) that if you volunteer once a week in your community your life expectancy will increase by 10 years! Reason:

You will be busy worrying about others and forget your own problems and stop dwelling in your own misfortune - this makes a ton of sense to me. Also the cathartic effect of helping someone else in life should create a very good and healthy feeling about yourself. I'm thinking we could test this theory by seeing if Pastors live longer than the average person. Although maybe too much of helping others could have a detrimental affect as well. Who knows maybe someone else has more information on this...or could google it...I'm going to try.

RRMCJIM

fathersson said:

ditto the feeling
Me too Jim.. My job is mega stress and I really need to relax with my wife and family after the surgery.. lost a little something with this disease but gained something else I guess by realizing that I need to redirect my time back to them

fatherson
Thanks...maybe I am not so nuts after all... the stress and demand of my job use to drive me, knowing that if I forget something, or don't catch something, that someone could get hurt... the work load is intense...I am one of 2 at work w/ over 37 years on the job, and they tend to load us heavy with jobs...I usually bill 20 - 27 hours per DAY...sometimes I have 3 lifts going at once...now, I just don't want to work that hard anymore....your right....turn that effort towards the family....5 girls, 11 grandchildren...so far...lol
Jim

Kongo

RRMCJIM said:

knows the feeling
Eldon, I know what your talking about. I had my surgery almost 1 year ago....May... I work a physical job, Technician w/Harley Davidson. Some days I think I am losing my mind, and others I am fine. Have had some problems w/scar tissue growing....been talking w/counselor and they are saying PTSD.. go figure... I have always loved my job. Never been one to sit back, very physical, work out, I am a diver, love to wind surf, etc...always been a work-a-holic , like I said, LOVE my job. Now all I want to do is retire, spend my days with my wife, and travel with her for what time we have left. I guess I found out I am not immortal after all...lol...Lost the love of work I guess....Some days I am content to stay home and just chill with the little woman. I might add that she was diag terminal in 1996...and so far she has beat the odds...still here and holding her own...So maybe those feelings are normal after cancer...
Jim

So Right
Jim, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you realized you weren't immortal after all. I recall the first thing that popped into my head when the urologist told me I had PCa was, "Oh, so this is how you die..." I suspect that we all think we are immortal. PCa really moves us from young (and dumb) adolescents to manhood. It wasn't until later that I realized I probably wasn't going to die from this but the whole thing causes us to change our priorities. Things that used to seem important no longer seem so critical. Why rush to catch that plane for another meeting in DC when you could have spent the time holding hands with your wife or visiting your kids while they work on a PhD thesis, or put that grandchild on your lap and read them Sam I Am for the fifteenth time.

If there is an upside to this I suppose it has to do with appreciating each day as it comes and making every day count.

gkoper

randy_in_indy said:

luckyman2
Just the other day on a medical program on TV they said (who knows if it's really true or not) that if you volunteer once a week in your community your life expectancy will increase by 10 years! Reason:

You will be busy worrying about others and forget your own problems and stop dwelling in your own misfortune - this makes a ton of sense to me. Also the cathartic effect of helping someone else in life should create a very good and healthy feeling about yourself. I'm thinking we could test this theory by seeing if Pastors live longer than the average person. Although maybe too much of helping others could have a detrimental affect as well. Who knows maybe someone else has more information on this...or could google it...I'm going to try.

Volunteering is good for the soul
I've no doubt volunteering is a win-win activity. I moved here (central Fl.) from the Fl. Keys to be next to a beautiful State park....where I volunteer as a river patrol, park patrol & best of all They call on me to provide my limited musical talents for Christmas celibrations & the Sunflower fest.......where they bring assisted living & nursing home residents. To see people in wheelchairs get up & dance...with a slight assist....is priceless. And I get to walk in the park early...before the crowds...drink in natures beauty & think I doing my part to sustain one of Gods masterpieces.
PCa and its consequences seem so far away.