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The Spirituality, Prayer, and Meditation thread

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4907
Joined: May 2005

Not to be too "me-like" but I can't look the other way forever. There is a place that has been set aside for this type of post over in the Spirituality, Prayer, and Meditation thread. I totally understand that prayer for many, is a part of the support. That is why there is a section just for that.
I know this is not a popular opinion at all and I am greatly outnumbered in my opinion on this, but it's like posting breast cancer comments in the colon cancer section. There are many who visit this thread to find out about colon cancer and not for prayer group. We have lost a bunch of great contributors due to the never-ending theme of the majority of the posts and I am about done here too.
Respectfully...
-phil

Thank you to those who know exactly what I am talking about. The others who find my opinion on this to be either "out of line", "uncalled for", "what's wrong with prayer?", "it's a free country", "be tolerant", "oh Phil" etc, from the few comments I read, I do not think my post was even read by some who commented on it. I did not expect many to understand this at all. As someone commented, tolerance is MORE than just looking the other way when there is something you may not like or agree with. There is also something called "Internet etiquette" or "Netiquette".

Part of Netiquette is understanding that in a forum which is open to all and where people come from many different cultural and ethnic backgrounds, you try not to have a lot of exclusive talk because you are aware there are differences of opinion. This especially holds true if what is being discussed is not the purpose of the forum. Some people may also call this being courteous.

And to those who suggest I don't read the comments if I don't like them, if I knew where they were (like maybe in a place made just for that) I could avoid them if I wanted to. However, they are not there but rather are mixed in with the other comments that actually have something to do with the topic.

I could also flag as offensive every comment I don't like for the administrator to take care of so to even suggest that someone look the other way is just ridiculous.

As I stated in the beginning of my post, I knew that my post would not be popular at all and that it would be misunderstood (and as it turns out, not really read since comments were made that had nothing at all to do with what I said). I wasn't let down.

I did not nor do want this to be a rally around Phil thing. While I greatly appreciate the support and kind words most have given me I can not keep this going at this time without feeling very frustrated at revisiting the same thing over and over and over and over again. I have enjoyed helping people with their cancer questions, there are very many people who have done and can do the same. While I noticed that the title of the post that drew my response was changed, the point was made. Nice afterthought though.

I read a few more comments and it amazes me (not) how people just don't READ posts. Who called for censorship? I didn't, did you?

As far as finding offense with posts place yourself here folks if you can. If the comments I am talking about on this site were suddenly all related to a religion that you do not agree with (pick one, there's plenty to go around for everyone) would you like seeing them all the time every time you read someone's question?

And the comment about going to the other room (the Religion, Spirituality, and Meditation room) and having it feel like being in church. Maybe you felt like it was like being in church because the topics discussed are religion related, just like in a church. Fancy that. Sorry you felt no one loved you over in the religion room. Imagine if a person could go to the Colon Cancer room and have it feel like they were in a room talking about colon cancer. I hope that happens some day.

It also has nothing to do with me being anti-prayer or anti-God which I am neither. I believe there is power in positive thinking. I'm all for it. That is not what I posted about. It's the thread that has since been changed that read prayers for the week. This has nothing to do with "one word" and really not even the "one post". This has been the theme since the get go but more more prevalent in the past 1-2 years. The silent minority knows what I'm talking about.

Obviously I feel very strongly about this just as many of you feel so strongly about your position on it.

I also love it how when someone beats cancer God gets the save but if they don't, the doctors failed...Rarely is praise given to the medical team who worked like crazy to try to find cures or other protocols.
Like with the Arabs and the Jews, this "discussion" will go on forever and never will the two side meet and learn to not push each others buttons.

Not surprisingly this blew up like I expected. I am not making any statements about the future and my contributions here. I'm sure at some point I'll suck it up and put up with the business as usual until I can't take it anymore...

To all of the new members. I'm sorry you are here with your cancers and that you entered in the middle of our dysfunctional quarterly religious arguments. The site is most always very helpful when it's on topic about cancer and learning about side effects and what to expect with them. There are many who have been through a lot and much can be learned from them.

Keep posting people, majority rules, right?
Soon there will be one opinion that all can agree on.
More vanilla ice cream please!

lcarper2
Posts: 638
Joined: Dec 2009

I hate to see you go away and don't really understand why you would go . If I understand your post are you saying you don't want us to pray here for our fellow cc family are we to go to a different room to do this? I just look through the post and if prayer is being ask for I can or can not choose to do the prayer. I am sorry if I have made you mad by requesting prayer for myself but didn't know there was a set of rules to go by in here.I guess I don't understand why some one would leave over prayer. I hope I miss understood what you were trying to say and if so I hope you clear it up for me .

PhillieG's picture
PhillieG
Posts: 4907
Joined: May 2005

To answer you lcarper2, Yes and No. What starts out as sending prayers in posts and asking for prayers in posts became a new topic of "Prayers and Thoughts (Week of January 25)" which certainly implies that this is now becoming a weekly thing not unlike the "Friday Riddle" but much less fun for me. If practically everyone on this site had a belief system that was not like yours and practically every post made strong references to that belief system I think that you might eventually reach a saturation point with it. Then possibly you might understand why someone would leave over prayer.

I am "not mad" at all, I've reached my saturation point with this. My cup runith over.
If this were a prayer group, I'd be in heaven...but it's not supposed to be a prayer group (is it?)
;-)

Like I said, I know this is not at all popular. I am not singling you out at all and while I think it's great to be supportive of each other, not being a member of the same belief system as most everyone else makes me and other silent members uncomfortable. This is a group for everybody yet it seems to be heading toward being a group for a certain belief system.
I guess these are just my "thoughts for this week"
-p

lcarper2
Posts: 638
Joined: Dec 2009

I went into the other room and felt like I was in church they are giving bible verses OMG I was waiting for some one to pass the plate so if you want to be there go for it but I will stay right here where I am cared about and loved and yes they can pray for me anytime and I have not said what faith I am and I will not say it has nothing to do with why we are here so you will be missed but not joined by me...

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

Better not go away young man!

Hugsss!
~Donna

Lovekitties's picture
Lovekitties
Posts: 3348
Joined: Jan 2010

The prayers being offered are expressions of care and concern and a way to 'help' those who need extra support, and for those that believe in it, it offers a non-medical way of getting by day to day. I take it you are not just concerned about the one particular post, but also the fact that many add prayers when responding to individual posts.

They are not meant to offend anyone. We each have our own beliefs and hopefully we can be tolerent when those beliefs do not match our own.

It would be a shame for you to leave such an informatiive and caring group, but only you can make that choice.

Whatever you decide, I hope that you have sucess over cancer.

Marie

lizzydavis's picture
lizzydavis
Posts: 893
Joined: May 2009

Marie, What an intelligent reply.

----Thank you.

papajedi's picture
papajedi
Posts: 110
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks Marie for adding a little balance and sanity to the discussion. This being an "open" where we hopefully don't attempt to legislate any post, espically ones written out of a loving, caring and compassionate spirit. Any of us are free in this forum to smile, press delete, or ignore post they so choose.

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1171
Joined: May 2008

There has been a few times where this topic has come up and it made it stressful to post for alot of people. and some good people went away because of it .I don't want phil and others to go but i do understand.

michelle

AceSFO's picture
AceSFO
Posts: 230
Joined: Sep 2009

is to try to take comments (of all sorts - not just on here) in the spirit in which they were intended regardless of whether or not the language or philosophy is the same as what I would use. I'm often in the minority in many arenas in my life and know what it feels like to be outside the accepted paradigm, and how tiring it can be to have to "translate" all the time.

I'm not directing this at anyone in particular on this thread or trying to single anyone out. Just throwing my two cents into the ring. Also, all the bad news on here lately has made me feel a little more edgy or vulnerable or emotional or something and I'm trying to bear that in mind when I read things on here that I might not agree with. And, if I see a thread with a title that I know I'm not going to resonate with, I just skip it and go on.

And as for you, Phil, I hope you'll stick with it here. I love your wry humor and compassion. It would be a huge loss after so many other losses here lately.

Just my two cents.
Adrian

Paula G.'s picture
Paula G.
Posts: 596
Joined: Apr 2009

Phil,
I for one do not want you to go. You have a wonderful humor side that helps me out. You also have been through so damn much. Your knowledge has been so helpful also.
I know there has been many debates on this even before I joined. I do agree with you for The most part.
I hope it won't get so out of control that people stop posting.

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maglets's picture
maglets
Posts: 2596
Joined: Jun 2006

I was here last spring too Kathy and it was indeed painful and upsetting. I too left for some time. I could not agree more that the main operating principle should be inclusiveness.
I also agree that judgment should be left at the door.

Conceivably we are all locked in a battle for our lives. How can we waste time and energy by bullying one another? Adrian is right that not all posts will appeal to all. As a Canadian I have no part in the many discussions of health care and insurance companies. Michelle is right....we have been here before it seems...time and time again.

Phil has worked extremely hard here with an absolute wealth of knowledge and support to say nothing of his stunning sense of humour....see that I spell humour with a u....even that makes me different. I have recently been trying to edge my way back here. I too hope we do not descend into bickering and judgment.

mags

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

I hated when alot of our long time contributors left because of religious debating and verses being thrown here and there. I am a Catholic, but I don't like bringing it to this section of the board, I respect everyone's faith and not everyone here believes in a God either, and I respect that..I would get sick of seeing it too, prayers for this and prayers for that on EVERY post, without even giving any kind of answer to their question.

This is not a religious/religion board, and I won't have someone "Dismiss" Phil like his departure would be "nothing", he's been here for a long time, making us laugh, and giving very informative information, and I be darned anyone slam him like he was nothing. I can tell with him not posting much, that this religious stuff was bugging him, we don't want all the topics to be about religion, prayers, verses, etc... that's why the Spirituality Board was made, to make everyone feel comfortable and welcomed, and only information and some fun even to get to know the cancer and the people going through it, and give them some hope.

This is now very upsetting to me. Not only losing alot of our brothers and sisters this month to this nasty disease, but to lose more contributors to the board, I know people are just being kind, but some people just don't want that kindness, they want information, hope, and encouragement. I think I now need a break from here, this is getting to be really too much, losing too many friends, and I'm not liking it. I'm getting very depressed now.

I'd like to see a lock on this post ( TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM FIGHTING!)or just delete all the religion stuff (On this board to be moved to the Spirituality Board) so that people who don't share the same views are not afraid to join here, to talk about their DISEASE.

CanadaSue's picture
CanadaSue
Posts: 340
Joined: Apr 2006

Kathy,

I couldn't have said it any beter than you have!

I well remember last springs uprising.

I don't post often as I am a caregiver, but I do ask questions when I feel it may help our situation, I will also offer help if I am able.

When my hubby was dx'ed he asked the onc if he (stage IV) should change his diet in anyway to which he was told, "No do not change anything," I posted that and was chasted for it.
We usually eat well balanced meals, but we do occationally stray from that. This is our choice as to what we continue to eat, and not someone elses choice to make.

I joined this board in 2006 and a friend Limey (Mark) and I had conversations about the heated chemo treatments - when he passed away the board was having troubles and responding to posts was a no go. So I opened a thread as did a few others, and one person opened another thread saying to paste and copy to respond to the thread in order to not waste space, when I asked what we were saving it for that thread was deleted.....

I will usually end my posts by saying my prayers and thoughts are with you. However if I was responding to Phil's post I would just say my thoughts are with you.

Phil, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE! You are a ray of sunshine to many of us on here!

Getting off my soapbox now.

Sue

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2121
Joined: Oct 2009

I reall don't know how to answer this one. I will gather my thoughts as I drive home from work today and think about my post. I must say though, that George was diagnosed 3/09 and I did not post until 10/09 partly because of some of this stuff. I also have never joined the Colon Club even though I go on there everyday. Why, same reason, religion. I thought it was about colon cancer and I was reading way too much about religion. I also felt I was not intelligent enough to join their conversations and too old for that group. Additionally, just a week or so ago, they were talking about HIPEC (sp) and when some names of doctors were mentioned, someone joined in and jumped down their throats. Just how are we to know where to start looking for a specific treatment without direction. Anyway, there are lots of people that have offered prayers for George and I take it in the spirit in which it was given, including, but not limited to our Muslim colorectal surgeon, our Hindu oncologist (I think he is Hindu - from India), our Arabic but Christian internist and my personal phyhsician who is Asian, my dentist who is from Kuwait (sp), my nephew who is some kind of non-demoninational thing, my Catholic sister and my Orthodox niece. Peace to everyone - Hugs Tina

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

Didn't mean to set off a maelstorm here. I didn't think I posted an offensive post. But I don't really want to start anything contentious so this will the last thread that I post on this topic.

This reminds me of my next door neighbors. We live on a great cul-de-sac and have FANTASTIC neighbors to our left, our right, across and behind. We get together on a regular basis and eat and chat and enjoy each other's company. Every November each of those couples puts up election signs on their front yards (we never do). So all around us are signs for candidates we don't support (and our neighbors know our politics as well from discussion).

But I have never thought I wasn't welcome in my neighborhood. I haven't thought of leaving. And I don't tell my neighbors how they are not inclusive because they literally post these signs "in our faces." I don't feel unhappy because their opinions are so antithetical to my own.

I wave to our neighbors whenever we pass. I will bring up their garbage cans and my husband will shovel the drive for one of the couples. I will watch the pets if any of them travel and they watch out for ours. And we still always get together pretty frequently. I guess I could be offended by those signs or what beliefs they represent for my neighbors but I know I would be missing out on quite a bit.

mom_2_3
Posts: 965
Joined: Nov 2008

Oops, sorry, double post.

Hatshepsut's picture
Hatshepsut
Posts: 340
Joined: Nov 2006

Phil:

I certainly hope that you won't leave this board.

You have helped so many people here (my husband included). You have made us laugh, sometimes you have made us cry, and, most importantly, you have made us truly think about the importance of living a full life albeit one with cancer.

I'm sure many others join me in thinking that you "keep it real" around here.

To suggest that you should just "go quietly into the good night" because you dare to post that this board should jealously guard its religious impartiality is shameful and selfish in my opinion.

I would be less than honest were I not to say that, like you, I have been uncomfortable with the decided uptick in religious posts here. This board paid a heavy price for the battle that erupted here months ago about the appropriateness of religious references and what was interpreted as the derision of people who didn't believe in a certain religious ethic. Do we want to go there again? I hope not.

I join you in believing that everyone, whatever their beliefs or non-beliefs, who has the misfortune to have cancer (or who loves someone who does have cancer), should be made to feel welcome here. This place is, for colon cancer patients, the only place in town.

Some have invoked the word "tolerance" in this discussion to defend the many religious posts on this board. To them, I would suggest that perhaps the word "tolerance" means ( or should mean) something more than demanding that those with whom we disagree simply grin and bear it when people (mis)use a public board (overtly or subliminally) to proselytize. The really tolerant among us understand that true tolerance is about respecting the rights of those with whom we disagree. Tolerance is about them, not about us.
Hatshepsut

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dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

Scan on Wednesday. I'm very nervous. I NEED this one to be good. I accept graciously all prayers, warm thoughts and swinging chickens! Glad to be back and hope to be of some help to those that are struggling.

Hugs,
Kimby

YIKES! That was a light hearted request Kimby had made and I'm very sure she meant she wanted all the good thoughts and well wishes she could get. I repeated her remarks in my response. NO harm was meant to anyone. In fact, on another forum, in response to Kimby, someone explained about swinging chickens, when it was done, chickens aren't hurt (actually held in two hands and raised over the head).

Let's say I want to wish Adrian 'my best wishes'. Well MY best wishes are prayer. Maybe you'll wish Lisa warm thoughts or positive energy. If that is your best wishes, then I believe they would welcome those thoughts.

Let's ban together against cancer and not attack each other! Let's not 'shoot' our wounded!


Diane

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dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I used bold since I couldn't get the quote command to work.

"Shoot our wounded" in a phrase regularly used in many churches meaning let's not do more harm than good.

:o)
Diane

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lisa42's picture
lisa42
Posts: 3661
Joined: Jul 2008

Phil,

I'm sad to read that you're upset about this as, yes, we definitely had this topic front and center a few months back. To relegate any religious words to the "religion and spirituality" board or to delete references to prayer as Donna mentioned would, in my opinion, be censorship in a major way. I agree that people should respect others' beliefs. I've been reminded to keep my talk of prayer directed just to those whom I know would appreciate it. I will definitely attempt to do that, but I admit it is difficult because my faith is who I am. To talk about life and death without God seems so fake to me, because God and prayer are my life. I realize not everyone believes the same, but I can't not be who I am. People don't like to hear this, but the Bible does say to share the gospel with all the people unto the ends of the earth. That may offend some, but I didn't make it up- those are the words of Jesus. I haven't been preaching, but to share a prayer or verse with others who are hurting is what Christians are supposed to do. If others are offended by it, then they should just take it in the spirit it was intended- to comfort others in need. So many people don't go on the Religion and Spirituality thread, so they wouldn't see our thoughts there.
Phil, I certainly don't want to get into it again after a few months back, but I wish (as a couple others mentioned) that you could just let it go and not take it as an attack. I believe each person on the board that has said "I'll be praying for you" or other spiritual words, has meant it as a means of comfort and were being sincere. If you don't want anyone to pray for you- fine.
I realize some could be offended- but what about those who are offended by someone wanting to muzzle others' beliefs just because they are not shared by everyone? If someone were Muslim or Hindu and brought up that they were praying to Buddah or whomever they worshipped, I would not find that offensive in the least, even though I don't share their beliefs.
That's my 2 cents-

Lisa

I won't say anymore, as I wasn't expecting this at all.

Julie 44
Posts: 479
Joined: Oct 2008

Hey man don't go...I am so grateful for all of your wisdom, humor and thoughts.. You have helped me out more than once and I am grateful for that....Just continue on to post we need you..I need you....JULIE

PGLGreg's picture
PGLGreg
Posts: 741
Joined: Jul 2006

I usually don't notice commercials any more, and when one does seize my attention, I can usually fast forward. If I noticed the calls to prayer, I would be irritated, being irreligious myself, but I rarely notice. What does get my goat are calls for censorship, which I really can't stand.

--Greg

geotina's picture
geotina
Posts: 2121
Joined: Oct 2009

Well, drove home from work and thought about it and truthfully, don't have much to add. I just take anyone's good thoughts, wishes and prayers in the spirit they were delivered. I would hate to lose all the people on here that are beating this thing for they are the source of much valuable experience and knowledge. When I posted good news on 1/18 I was very surprised that some did not respond but brushed it off as not being part of the "inner circle" but perhaps it was that there was so much bad and hurtful news it was hard to respond. I don't post religious stuff and don't really mind people that do, I take their prayers as words of comfort directed to us and do find comfort that someone is thinking of us and wishing us well. Take care - Tina

Shayenne's picture
Shayenne
Posts: 2370
Joined: Jan 2009

...Yeah, lets make this all about censhorship now, I guess I didn't explain myself too well at the end of my post, so I adjusted it to what I meant...not ALL the religion stuff deleted, just to put it on the other board where it should have been. Is that better?

Goodbyes.

~Donna

lmliess's picture
lmliess
Posts: 331
Joined: Dec 2008

I find a lot of comfort in all of your thoughts and prayers. I need them. It just seems silly that there are families grieving the lost of a family member to this beast and we get caught up in this again!

For what it is worth, I feel a bit of comfort laying on the CT scan table knowing I have people praying for me and sending me happy thoughts. I really didn't think this has ever been forced on anyone here.

Of all the things we have to go through, do we really have to go through this again?

JDuke's picture
JDuke
Posts: 443
Joined: Nov 2009

just agree to disagree. I hate to see such a riff escalate from what I perceive to be sincere caring and good intentions. Prayers, positive thoughts, uplifting sentiment, I will accept any and all you care to send my way. Having said that, if I have offended anyone by my admission of praying for them, I sincerely apologize. I was unaware of something similar occuring last year on the board and I do hope that this situation can be rectified before ANYONE decides to leave.
Warmly,
Joanne

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

I am 52 years old, wife for 25 years, mother of 4, Nana to 11, been in a war zone, have cancer, live in the land of the free, about to lose my job, who gives a rat's ***!

....Oh, bite me.

And who the heck is Pete!

HollyID's picture
HollyID
Posts: 951
Joined: Dec 2009

It's so common for me to offer to pray that if I've offended anyone on these boards, I sincerely apologize. It's just who I am. I am a pray-er.

I had no idea that there was a previous riff on the boards before but am not too surprised.

Again, I apologize if I said anything that would offend anyone.

Holly

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Hey, Phil.

This is why I put in my post about my sister that I was looking for prayers or good wishes. I am well aware after the last big thing we had on here, that there are those with differing opinions about faith. I try to respect that, and I hope I succeed.

It's just a natural thing for me to say to people that I'll be praying for them, but I try to remember not to say it to you or anyone I'm aware of who would not wish that.

I enjoy your posts so much, and I would be very distraught not to be able to keep up with your health. We have never become phone calling or even emailing buddies, but I like you very much and am in awe of how you have stayed in such good humor throughout such a tough battle.

I certainly hope you will stay on the board, and I apologize if anything I have said has contributed to your thoughts of leaving.

*hugs*
Gail

JDuke's picture
JDuke
Posts: 443
Joined: Nov 2009

I realized yesterday that I had missed seeing any posts from you. I hope that you will reconsider your thoughts of leaving the board. You are such an integral part of this family that it would not be the same without you here. I have already become a big fan of the sensibility, humor, intelligence and caring that you contribute with your posts. My references of praying for others was never intended to offend and I apologize, if by doing so, I unintentionally became a source of annoyance to you.
Regards,
Joanne

Nana b's picture
Nana b
Posts: 3045
Joined: May 2009

Oh Joanne, you are fine! We all have our share of offending and being offended. Talking about sex, positions and all, I mean come on!

Off to watch American Idol! Got to laugh for a bit!

idlehunters's picture
idlehunters
Posts: 1792
Joined: Apr 2009

Let's see...... I am in the process of making you a movie. It is titled "This is Jennie showing Phil how she opens a can of whip *** to use on him for even THINKING about leaving this room!!!!"

For real man.......... I will never be able to change my pic again without you. Now I love Craig and Eric but it's about time for a new pic. Please don't leave me Phil. I love you too!!!

Jennie

usakat's picture
usakat
Posts: 625
Joined: Jul 2006

Six billion, seven hundred ninety-eight million, nine hundred thousand!!!

That is approximately how many people are estimated to be on planet Earth as of TODAY! That is a lot of different people with a lot of different ways to express themselves and a lot of people with a lot of different ways to just simply make it through each day.

How many ways are there to say hello? I don't know exactly, but thinking of how many languages there are on Earth and how many synonyms there are for the word hello in each language, including sign language and friendly gestures, I know it must be a lot.

I wonder how many ways there are to just let someone know I'm thinking of them, to wish them well, or good luck, or offer them hope. In a world so cold as the World Wide Web, if not for words alone, how can I share some positive energy? If I consider how many people I care about and how diverse they are from each other - geographically, culturally, spiritually, race, gender, age, who they love, politics, cat people, dog people, vegetarians, meat eaters, and on, and on, and on - I would never be able come up with just one word that would best wrap up my desire to give all of them collectively exactly what they need, or want, or believe in. So I struggle (sometimes more than others) in each attempt, with each individual person or people, to use the right word. Sometimes I don't get it right, but hopefully when I offer up positive energy, regardless of my word choice, the person or people receive it as the only gift I can give. A piece of me - my time, my energy, my thoughts, my wishes, my hope...my meditations, and yes, my prayers.

Offering someone a "prayer" is like offering good thoughts, good vibes, well wishes, meditation...energy...prayer is positive energy. I really don't think one necessarily needs to "believe" in God, or anything else for that matter, to receive positive energy from someone else. And think about it. Offering positive energy to someone you barely know or someone you've never met, or receiving positive energy, is truly a gift. It's a gift of spirit or essence. It's free and costs nothing.

The exact same gift can come in many different packages, but however it is delivered it is still a gift. As for prayers here, they are little gifts of energy wrapped in a little package of a single word. Why return the gifts?

If one does not "believe" in prayer in the religious meaning of the word, perhaps then they could accept it in a more universal package - positive energy, good thoughts, good vibes.

Synonyms are good. They allow us to understand, to interpret, to relate, to accept words that other people use so they can be made meaningful to us.

Sometimes it is not what we say, but how we say it - sometimes it is not what we read, but how we comprehend it - that gives something worth...

Just a thought...

Phil, you have been here such a long time and have offered so much to so many. I hope that you have also received much in return. I hope though, that a simple word won't cause you to leave, especially because it was one horrible word that brought you here. All of us take what we need and leave the rest, sort of like those free hometown newspapers...some people like them for the crossword puzzle, some for the Suduko, some for the garage sale ads, some to line their cat litter boxes and bird cages....either way, they're useful. I hope Phil, that you can take what you need here and leave the rest... You're a good guy and it's nice having you here. Although there are many times I may not agree with what you say, I do appreciate your point of view.

The older I get the more I'm learning to appreciate people for all of who they are and that I don't have to agree with everything they say or believe or are or look like or where they live to do it. I figure if I shut someone off for one aspect of who they they are I am the one who loses because people are a sum of their parts. I don't have to like all the parts to appreciate their humanity and their value. I learn more from people who are different than me.

lcarper2
Posts: 638
Joined: Dec 2009

cancer is stressfull enough with out all this starting. We need to focus on healing not fighting or finger pointing I joined this room because I had no clue about cc and what to expect and have learned alot here. I am sorry if anyone here has been offended by my post and answering the call for prayer. I don't believe that anyone should be forced to do something they don't want to do and if someone ask for prayer it is not an order just a request and if anyone feels offended by that post just move on. I for one will not post as much now because of all this and may not come in as offten. I have enough stress in my life that when the place I come to for peace and/or some normality (sp) gets full of the same stuff I put up with every day than it is time to sit back and rethink my being here at all. I have grown close to each of you and hate to see this room fall apart over something that we all need and are afraid to ask for if we don't stand for something we will fall for anything. Cancer is horrible and God leads you through it no matter if you pray or not.Just my point of view.

John23's picture
John23
Posts: 2140
Joined: Jan 2007

Hey Phil....

Sending prayers doesn't bother me one bit, but I would much prefer
to be sent money. You can't buy beer with prayers!

Stay well, my friend!

mamalala
Posts: 25
Joined: Jan 2010

I appreciate Phil bringing up this subject. I, too, am sometimes uncomfortable with the religious tone of some posts. I came here for information, support and hope. No place else have I been able to get that. I am 'hungry' for information and, therefore, usually open every post. I'll continue to do that. At this time, I'll overlook the individual ways people have of imparting information and expressing support, hope, and, yes, love and concern. Let's get back to 'business', the cc business. I appreciate your posts when they are direct and fill my needs; please just be a little more sensitive to our differences. We are who we are! We have have what we have; 'it is what it is.' Lynn

tootsie1's picture
tootsie1
Posts: 5056
Joined: Feb 2008

Phil,

Even though I am a religious person, I do treasure my doctors, and I am always happy to give credit to them. I agree with you on that so much.

*hugs*
Gail

dianetavegia's picture
dianetavegia
Posts: 1953
Joined: Mar 2009

I thought you said you had a can of COOL WHIP and were going to use it on Phil. (Oh I wish we had eye popping smilies) Your post follows Nana's remarks... LOLOL!

I love Phil. Phil loves me. I seek out Phil's replies because he is so durn smart. (thumbs up smilie goes here) I secretly pray for Phil to be healed, but don't tell him, okay?

scouty's picture
scouty
Posts: 1976
Joined: Apr 2004

And very funny too!!!!

I bet Phil gets into whips and chains too...........

usakat's picture
usakat
Posts: 625
Joined: Jul 2006

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.

"I should be in charge," said the brain , "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."

"I should be in charge," said the blood , "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the legs , "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?

We truly are a sum of our parts and we function better when we work together (punchline changed to fit the discussion here...) rather than argue who is right or wrong.

Phil is right, for all time before today and for all time after today the right answer will never be found and the arguement will live on. I believe that is the point. Perhaps tolerance isn't just looking the other way from something or someone we disagree with or respecting other points of view, maybe it is also to open our own hearts and our own minds just enough to simply let it be while living with grace, with gratitude and generosity. Sometimes if we give just a little, we get so much more in return.

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